I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

Almost Famous (w/ Selle Brooks of "Who Asked Me?") Sep 18, 2022

Show notes

It’s all happening (although Donny wishes it wasn't) this week, as Selle Brooks of the "Who Asked Me?" podcast joins him and Chelsea to recap her favorite movie, "Almost Famous." Chelsea explains her roots as a classic rock aficionado, Selle talks about buying a denim thong, and Donny calls everyone ugly. Then, the most shocking thing to ever be revealed on this podcast comes to light: Chelsea is NOT the younger sibling in her family. Also, the Cuties share stories of jobs they were severely under-qualified for.

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The Sweetest Thing (w/ Noor of "The Reality Is" Podcast) Sep 11, 2022

Show notes

"You're too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here." It's Noor's birthday, and to celebrate, Donny and Chelsea do what they do best: horrify her. Donny shares his quarantine routine while Chelsea rants and plans for her inevitable demise in someone's basement. Then, Donny educates on the logistics of gloryholes and Noor educates on how centuries work. Shout out to Granny Panties AND Donny's Grandmother, because both are putting in the hard work. Also, the Cuties submit their most embarrassing memories of calling 911.

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast
Chelsea: @ohnochels
Donny: @realdonnywood

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Aquamarine (w/ Alina Bock) Aug 28, 2022

Show notes

Maybe Donny helped a mermaid because this week, his wish is coming true! He and Chelsea finally recap the movie he has been begging to cover since the podcast began: Aquamarine! They're joined by the hilarious co-host of "Awkward Stage," Alina Bock, who didn't live off of sardines for a month in preparation, but she did bring the German translation of the title, which now needs to be a staple of the podcast, tbh. Alina does her best to get Donny to become a Gilmore Boy and warns him the dangers of cruises, and a lot of education is happening in Chelsea's house: she learns that JoJo is still alive while her daughter learns the phrase, "Royal b-tch." Also, the Cuties share the craziest things they've done to get the attention of a boy. And remember - talk to strangers today.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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500 Days of Summer (with @thenostalgiclatino) Aug 21, 2022

Show notes

This is a podcast about nostalgia, but you should know upfront, this is not a nostalgia podcast. It's just chaos unleashed, and Carlos (@thenostalgiclatino) learns that quickly when he joins Chelsea and Donny to recap "500 Days of Summer." The trio discuss manic pixie dreamgirls (who Donny refuses to believe Chelsea ever was), karaoke styles, hanging out with coworkers, and dates at Ikea (Swedish meatballs are mandatory!) Also, Chelsea finally won because Donny goes full feminist with his hatred of Tom (sweater vests are a red flag, ladies!) Then, the Cuties submit their craziest breakup moments. And, make sure you're seated for this episode because it's home to Donny and Chelsea's most unhinged moments of all time (pay particular attention to stories about Chelsea's teeth and Donny's Crest White Strips.)

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The Wedding Singer (w/ Christian Gray Snow) Aug 14, 2022

Show notes

Chelsea is out of a wig and in a full sweat as she and Donny are joined by that bitch (and future wedding MC) from Instagram, Christian Gray Snow, to recap the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore classic, "The Wedding Singer" and bond over Princess Diana merch. Her dad has food poisoning, Donny is making Beanie Babies have sex, and Christian understands why abortion would be mentioned in a wedding speech. Also, Christian and Donny share their taste in (terrible) men while Chelsea gets feminasty about those same men. Finally, Donny finally loses his mind about Chelsea's face blindness and the Cuties share their worst wedding stories.

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Mean Girls (w/ Jenna Barclay) Aug 07, 2022

Show notes

Get in, Loser, we're recapping 'Mean Girls!' Donny unblocks everyone's favorite "basic bitch historian," Jenna Barclay, for the week to discuss the Lindsay Lohan classic. While nobody should be learning anything fresh about this movie in the year 2022, Donny is learning new things about poppers; the (recreational?) drug may be new to Donny, but this movie is not, as he's a three-time "Mean Girls" trivia champion. PSA: Donny's rants about Aaron Samuels do not reflect Jenna and Chelsea's opinions. Also, the cuties reveal their most embarrassing Halloween stories, Chelsea never saw 'Titanic,' and Jenna gets stabbed in the eye. Grool.

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Save the Last Dance (w/ Kendrick Tucker) Jul 31, 2022

Show notes

“It ain’t ova, b*tch.” But Donny’s career in podcasting is, as he will ultimately be cancelled for his accent work and acting choices during this “Save the Last Dance” recap with Kendrick Tucker of “Reality and Comics Too” podcast. The dark (in more ways than one) opening makes Chelsea realize why she left sleepovers early, and her passion for Julia Stiles’ pullout couch makes Donny realize he doesn’t want to sleepover at her house anymore. Then, Chelsea reminisces about her time at the Thirsty Turtle while Donny reminisces about his time in the special gym class. Also, the Cuties send in their best stories of times they put their foot in their mouth. But mostly, the three just praise Bianca Lawson and Kerry Washington for an hour.

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Love Actually (w/ @blocked_by_jax) Jul 24, 2022

Show notes

Idiots actually are all around, and Jen (Instagram’s @blocked_by_jax) discovers that quickly when she helps Donny and Chelsea recap “Love Actually” in honor of Christmas in July. The three realize that the movie does not hold up - at all - and Chelsea realizes that characters that don’t speak still need someone to write for them and judges Donny for being on “a lot” of cruises. Then, Donny and Jen get in a fight over Ashley Tisdale’s “Last Christmas,” and he crowns one of the movie’s actors as a true hero. Also, Chelsea read for this episode. Do YOU know Colin Firth’s storyline in this movie?

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Easy A (w/ Nava Kavelin & Sophie Ansari of "Podcrushed") Jul 17, 2022

Show notes

When "Easy A" was picked as this week's movie, Donny and Chelsea knew right away who they wanted to cover it with. Enter Nava and Sophie, co-hosts of "Podcrushed," the podcast where Penn Badgley reads your middle school story. What Sophie and Nava didn't realize, though, is that if they are the "scholarly" nostalgia podcast, "I Am The Cute One" is the equivalent of walking into a monkey's cage at the zoo.

Donny demands they tell their Gleek status within the first five minutes of the show before accidentally talking sh*t on their co-host (sorry, Penn!) Then, Chelsea admits to being bullied by dog instagram accounts and then gives Donny a backhanded compliment in the form of a Pokemon evolution theory. And then, when Sophie and Nava think they've caught on to the chaos and tell a story about tickle parties, Donny one-ups them with his secret weapon: lick attack time.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

Shop our merch!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Welcome to the Dollhouse (w/ Melissa Beck) Jul 10, 2022

Show notes

It's a menagerie this week as Donny and Chelsea are joined by Melissa Beck of "The Real World: New Orleans" to discuss one of her top two movies (and it's not number two), "Welcome to the Dollhouse." In perhaps their deepest and most scholarly episode yet, the three relive their middle school trauma as they dissect the dark but lovely film and praise the versatile actresses of their time, Jennifer Aniston and Mandy Moore. Donny tries his best to not make Melissa feel old, Melissa makes Donny sweat, and Chelsea shocks everyone with her mother's chicken prep.

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