I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days (w/ @retr0avocado) Feb 13, 2022

Show notes

Nothing says Valentine's Day like making a bet you can make a woman fall in love with you while simultaneously having that woman terrorize you for 10 days straight to make you run for the hills. Donny and Chelsea (who are pros at terrorizing someone for days at a time) are joined by Janine, aka @retr0avocado, to recap the highly unhinged "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days." Well - she thought. Instead, she is filled with horror as Donny and Chelsea tell tale after tale of bad dates, movie theater etiquette, and chasing away boys with wild behavior. But somehow, they don't scare Janine away and the three are able to bond over their love of 2000s' magazines and Livejournals.

To hear (or watch) this recap in its unedited, unhinged entirety, head to our newly launched Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/iamthecuteone
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Chelsea: @ohnochels
Donny: @realdonnywood

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Never Been Kissed (w/ Christine Biancavilla) Feb 06, 2022

Show notes

Christine Biancavilla joins Donny & Chelsea to recap their most problematic movie yet: "Never Been Kissed" (which, it turns out, should have been called "Never Had a WAP" because we've been lied to our entire lives and Josie Grossie has, indeed, been kissed). This falls appropriately in theme with Chelsea sharing the most problematic story ever told on the podcast, (which, surprisingly, is not about hanging out Dunkin' Donuts parking lots) leaving Donny shocked. As always, Donny tries to out-do her and makes an alarming statement that will probably get him cancelled. The trio also discuss the power of "No Scrubs," Hit Clips and the best SNL casts.

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10 Things I Hate About You (w/ Kendrick Tucker of "Reality & Comics Too") Jan 30, 2022

Show notes

I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car, I hate that Chelsea likes Bianca's prom dress. Kendrick Tucker stops by the "I Am The Cute One" studios (which, unfortunately, does not have bands perform on the roof) to recap "10 Things I Hate About You," and Chelsea and Donny quickly discover they are the sisters from this movie: Donny as the sister from Planet Look at Me, and Chelsea as the heinous bitch, naturally. The three share their craziest birth control stories, memories of Driver's Ed, and the best smut stories they've ever read. Also, more details of the Little Bo Peep story are revealed, the writers of "She's The Man" are up to their old tricks, and Chelsea begins her research on a very important topic.

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13 Going on 30 (w/ Quin Lamar) Jan 23, 2022

Show notes

Donny's worlds collide as his work husband (Chelsea) and real-life husband (Quin Lamar) join forces to discuss the Jennifer Gardener/Mark Buffalo classic, "13 Going On 30." But first, Quin shares his experiences as a "Seven Minutes in Heaven Facilitator," which is really just a reason for him to tell Donny and Chelsea about his first orgy. The three ponder if the 13-year-old versions of themselves would be happy with where they are in life (Quin would be thrilled with his choice of a husband. Right? RIGHT?!) Donny and Chelsea bond over the Rihanna milestones in their life, and Quin makes a shocking revelation that Donny has been hiding during his whole friendship with Chelsea.

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The Princess Diaries (w/ Noor of "The Reality Is" Podcast) Jan 16, 2022

Show notes

Noor from "The Reality Is" podcast joins Donny and Chelsea to recap "The Princess Diaries," but before they get to the movie, the hosts try to bully their guest into telling them they look like celebrities (that they don't look like). Together, they try to get to the bottom of the Anne Hathaway hatred of the mid-2000s (it's the pixie cut, right?) Donny shares his most traumatizing memory that leaves him blushing, and Chelsea admits that she knows she'd be a great cult leader. Chelsea is reminded repeatedly in this episode that Donny is a boy, but they bond over their time doing morning announcements in middle school. This episode is brought to you by Alyssa Milano (but she doesn't know it).

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Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (w/ Annabelle DeSisto of "Adderall & Compliments") Jan 09, 2022

Show notes

Chelsea, Donny and this week's guest, Annabelle DeSisto of "Adderall & Compliments," may not have been able to find a pair of Levi's that fit all three of them, but they did find time to talk for an hour about the longest movie with no plot: "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." And just like that, the group realizes that this movie is just "Sex and the City" for tweens, so they debate which character is which (there's only one right answer). Chelsea admits a life-long secret and her most toxic trait, and not one to be outdone, Donny confesses which pop culture phenomenon he somehow missed out on. Then, Chelsea tells a story about her magical backpack that she thinks Donny and Annabelle will be charmed by, but instead they're disgusted and creeped out. Finally, Bailey's stint in the hospital reminds Donny of the best Punk'd episode of all time (tied only with Ellen Pompeo threatening to murder a waitress for flirting with her boyfriend).

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Josie and the Pussycats (w/ Kiki Monique of @thetalkofshame) Jan 02, 2022

Show notes

"Josie and the Pussycats is the best movie ever," (Mr. Moviephone voice) and co-host of "I'm Sorry," Kiki Monique (@thetalkofshame) is here to break it down with Chelsea and Donny. Having the host of a podcast about apologies seems to be a good decision for this episode when Donny decides to break out an impression he's been working on since 2001. Then, they discuss some insane casting choices, try to get to the bottom of why a movie with so much to say could flop so badly, and debate whether or not the band would have been popular in real life. Also, Chelsea better brush her teeth to get back on Archie Comics' good side because she tells a chilling tale about McDonald's that they definitely would not approve of.

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She's The Man (w/ @lucyontheground) Dec 26, 2021

Show notes

Just like Donny and Chelsea trick their guests into thinking they're recapping a movie while forcing them to listen to tales of their childhood, Amanda Bynes tricks Channing Tatum (and an entire boarding school) into thinking she's a boy so she can beat her ex-boyfriend in a soccer game. Lucy (@lucyontheground) joins the hosts of "I Am The Cute One" to break down "She's The Man," and she has them on a close watch to make sure they're dishing - not dissing - one of her favorite movies. Lucy wows the duo with her Amanda Bynes impression, Chelsea shares a tale about her worst roommate, and Donny wishes he could go to the multiverse where Amanda's career is thriving and she's suffering in silence. Also, Donny broke up a marriage. #spiderman

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Chelsea: @ohnochels
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Freaky Friday (w/ Ryan Bailey) Dec 19, 2021

Show notes

Ryan Bailey of "So Bad It's Good With Ryan Bailey" joins Donny and Chelsea to chat about Lindsay Lohan's greatest work: "Freaky Friday." Donny shares stories of casting that never came to pass (justice for Michelle Trachtenberg/Annette Benning) while Chelsea shares more stories about how much of a monster she was in her teens. Then, the hosts bond over being sociopaths. Donny needs some work on segues, but he does his best, as the group discusses who they'd switch bodies with, Chad Michael Murray's Jodie Foster haircut, if they ever got detention, and the worst punishment they ever received (Ryan DIDN'T watch porn, but Donny did - and wanted his dad to watch, too). Also, Ryan Bailey does a John Travolta impression. No, John Travolta is not in this movie. You're in for a wild ride.

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A Cinderella Story (w/ Kelli & Troy of "Beyond the Blinds") Dec 12, 2021

Show notes

The party continues as Chelsea & Donny begin their sensible rebrand by covering the 2004 hit, "A Cinderella Story" with co-hosts of "Beyond the Blinds" podcast, Kelli and Troy. The hosts stay true to their brand of tormenting their guests (see also: Danielle Prescod; season 2, episode 9) as it is revealed quickly that Kelli's arch nemeses (nemesi?) are Hilary Duff AND Chad Michael Murray, the two stars of this movie. Chelsea tries to make it up to her by spilling some CMM that she has collected over the years. Donny & Chelsea find their Halloween costumes for next year (it's not the lackluster Cinderella dress), and the group discusses the infamous "Laugh out loud" texting scene in addition to the joys of AOL chat rooms (shout out to Blair, 16/f/LA!)

To hear (or watch) this recap in its unedited, unhinged entirety, head to our newly launched Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/iamthecuteone

For our merch, check out iamthecuteone.com

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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