I Am The Cute One

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When Harry Met Sally (w/ Claire Parker) Nov 27, 2022

Show notes

Claire Parker, comedian and co-host of Celebrity Memoir Book Club, joins Chelsea and Donny to recap “When Harry Met Sally” (not with Wikipedia’s help). She also offers business advice to the podcasting duo and helps them answer questions that nobody asked. Later, Chelsea issues an official apology to Meg Ryan while Donny’s feud with Nora Ephron grows stronger. Also, Claire bonds with Donny as they lust over Billy Crystal, and later, she and Chelsea bond over Big Bad Beetleborgs (…what?) Worth mentioning: Keke Palmer saved Claire’s Thanksgiving.

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Home Alone (w/ Jenna Barclay) Nov 20, 2022

Show notes

Happy Anniversary, ya filthy animals. As on brand as Chelsea and Donny could be, they recap Home Alone with Jenna Barclay to celebrate the 30th Anniversary... of Home Alone 2. (In their defense, it's the 32nd Anniversary of the first movie, but who celebrates a 32nd Anniversary?) Also on brand, the duo also discusses what exactly "aged like Blockbuster" means - after 49 episodes. Then, the three argue over if Kevin deserved this treatment from his family - or the Wet Bandits. Also, the Cuties submit their most horrifying airplane stories, and Chelsea’s daughter gaslights her.

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You've Got Mail (w/ Violet Benson) Nov 13, 2022

Show notes

While every entertainment website known to man was busy putting "You've Got Mail" at the top of their "Best Fall Movies of All Time" lists, Donny was busy putting Tom Hanks at the top of his "Most Hated Celebrity" list, and he spends the entirety of this episode trying (and failing) to convert Chelsea and their guest, meme queen behind viral Instagram account @daddyissues_ and host of "Almost Adulting" podcast, Violet Benson, to his side. After Donny's rant against Tom (and Nora Ephron), Chelsea goes on an (unprovoked) rant of her own about men's red flags, and Violet wows the hosts with the best tagline they've heard yet. Then, the three break down how disgusting and terrible Joe Fox is for catfishing his love interest the whole movie before Violet shocks Donny and Chelsea with some information - they're terrible people, too!

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Sweet Home Alabama Nov 06, 2022

Show notes

Daylight Savings Time ends today, so Donny and Chelsea are rolling the clocks back to 2002, when (somebody's?) quintessential Autumn movie, "Sweet Home Alabama," was easier to watch. (Maybe it's still easy for you, and it's just these two pig-headed liberals having a tough go at it...) Donny wishes this MAGA love letter included a makeover so the audience would know when Melanie becomes unlikeable while Chelsea recalls not vomiting while her husband proposed with a sock. Also, Donny watches dogs pee at the dog park.., and all that that implies.

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Urban Legend (w/ Gwen Carole) Oct 29, 2022

Show notes

Gwen Carole is not in the back seat, but she is on the podcast to recap “Urban Legend” with Chelsea and Donny. Chelsea’s face blindness is partially cured, but she still finds a way to be Donny’s very own urban legend when she refers to Loretta Devine as… well, you’ll see. However, Gwen makes up for it when she name drops a few celebrities; it’s like Christmas! Then, the three try to figure out why Alicia Witt was cast as our final girl (they don’t come up with an answer.) Final warning: be careful, middle-aged white women!

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Practical Magic (w/ Hannah Brown) Oct 23, 2022

Show notes

This week, Hannah Brown is forced to hang out with two Bug’s Life kids for an hour to discuss the Seinfeld of Halloween movies, Practical Magic. More happens in these 52 minutes than did in the entirety of the film, but Hannah learns that may not be a good thing when the conversation turns to chickenpox parties and unhinged sisterly bonding. Also, Chelsea creates a sequel that already exists… and is quite beloved.

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I Know What You Did Last Summer (w/ US Weekly's Sarah Hearon) Oct 16, 2022

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Deputy Editor of US Weekly and host of “Here For the Right Reasons” podcast, Sarah Hearon, joins Donny and Chelsea to recap ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ and the duo may have done research to pronounce her last name correctly, but they still don’t know a damn thing about the movie they’re covering. The three praise the Scholastic Book Fair, IMDB, and Kevin Bacon’s “The Following.” Also, they dig into horrifying childhood trauma and Donny is forced to send a HR form to Sarah when Chelsea reveals her opinions on Sarah Michelle Gellar. Then, the three discuss which of the cast is the closest to a can of beans.

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The Faculty (w/ Tom Hamlett) Oct 09, 2022

Show notes

Chelsea continues to celebrate spooky season by dressing as things that Donny hates, while he sports his best cosplay (it's just a varsity jacket and a pen up his nose) as they recap "The Faculty" with Tom Hamlett of Dumpster Dive podcast. Chelsea and Donny bond over tough coaches in the sports world before she horrifies him with stories of when she micro dosed....well, you'll see. But the roles quickly reverse when Donny terrifies everyone with stories of his cat's anus. Then, Mrs. Jacquette is introduced - you have not heard the last about her.

To hear (or watch) this recap in its unedited, unhinged entirety, head to our newly launched Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/iamthecuteone

For our merch, check out iamthecuteone.com

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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The Craft Oct 02, 2022

Show notes

Happy Spooky Season! What's scarier than the last twenty minutes of "The Craft?" An hour of Donny and Chelsea, uninterrupted and unleashed! That's right - this week, the duo is guestless as they recap the 1996 classic that "inspired" Charmed. Chelsea discusses the murderers that helped raise her while Donny relives childhood trauma brought on by his neighbor that ended up in jail. Then, Donny and Chelsea reclaim "homely" and the Cuties submit the craziest rumors spread about them. Finally, Donny puts a price point on how much money it would take for him to stop talking to Chelsea. Spoiler alert: he realizes it's far too large of a number when she educates him on Maryland sleepovers.
And be sure to continue the Spooky Season celebration when Chelsea and Donny host their first INTERACTIVE LIVE SHOW on Wednesday, October 5 at 9pm EST. Buy your $5 tickets HERE!

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Twilight (w/ Melissa Kristin) Sep 25, 2022

Show notes

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb... and Donny and Chelsea fell in love with the master class in comedy that is "Twilight." With the help of Melissa Kristin, they recap Part I of the only vampire saga that doubles as a "how to" guide in toxic relationships. They discuss how much of an idiot Bella is, the logistics of why the Cullen's plan to blend in is the worst, and Alice's bad haircut. Then, the vampire baseball game (naturally) leads to a conversation about ruining Thanksgiving. Last, Chelsea breaks an NDA about one of the cast members. Also, the Cuties submit stories of when they knew their partner's family hated them.

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