I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

Deliver Us From Eva (w/ Selle Brooks) Feb 06, 2023

Show notes

The (accidental) Union-athon continues as Selle Brooks, host of "Who Asked Me," joins Chelsea and Donny to celebrate the 20th Anniversary of "Deliver Us From Eva." Donny, the activist of our generation, discusses his love of a natural hair journey and HBO Max's "Velma" as Selle learns about Roger Ebert's death. Chelsea and Donny have very different opinions on LL Cool J - she thinks he cant act, and he... c*ms and whips out his impression (among other things). Then, the three bond over B**** G*** S***** C****** and testing significant others. Also, the Cuties submit their biggest, dumbest grand gestures, and Chelsea implements a Spank Bank Claus.

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Bring It On (w/ Jeff Epstein) Jan 30, 2023

Show notes

What's the plural for messy - in one person, I mean? We're about to find out as Jeff Epstein, host of Manic and co-host of Adderall & Compliments, joins Chelsea & Donny to discuss water and Bring It On, which is FINALLY available to stream! After Chelsea realizes which actress plays Big Red, Donny stomps on the patriarchy as he points out issues in the movie's iconic opening scene. Then, the three lust over Cliff Pantone and discuss dating apps, and Donny reveals more about his cancellable screenplay that he wrote in college. The Cuties submit their most embarrassing stories. Also, Chelsea was a cheerleader for two weeks.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Spice World (w/ Hannah Brown) Jan 22, 2023

Show notes

If you couldn’t tell by Donny’s receding hairline and Chelsea’s creaky bones, it’s the 25th Anniversary of Spice World, and we are officially old! To celebrate, Hannah Brown, proud owner of the DVD, is here to recap the movie and share her praises of the girl group, including her favorite member (a distant relative?!) Chelsea’s nemesis is up to his old tricks as he comes for girl power and Dunkin Donuts, and Donny makes new nemisi of his own as Hannah and Chelsea (incorrectly) tell him that he’s wrong about a very important plot point. Also, the Dave Matthews Band is disgusting and Chelsea prepares for aliens.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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27 Dresses (w/ Quin Lamar) Jan 15, 2023

Show notes

Donny & Chelsea refuse to be Heigl'ed again as their resident Judy Greer expert, Quin Lamar, is back to celebrate the 15th anniversary of 27 Dresses while Donny celebrates Winnie the Pooh Day. The group discuss the rise (and fall) of Katherine “Nigel” Heigl, her character being a terrible friend/bridesmaid/sister, and the pure joy of being a wedding guest (as opposed to the horrors of being in the wedding party.) Also, with both his work husband and real husband in one place, Donny decides now is the perfect time to talk about “his first time.” Then, the Cuties submit their worst Bridezilla moments.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Just Married (w/ Tracey Carnazzo) Jan 08, 2023

Show notes

It's the 20th anniversary of Just Married, and to celebrate, Chelsea's daughter is projectile vomiting while podcast host, comedian, former snake kid, and goldfish brain, Tracey Carnazzo, realizes she's been Punk'd as she recaps the Ashton Kutcher/Brittany Murphy rom-com about terrible people that should not be together. Chelsea relives trauma about moving in with her (formerly dirty) husband, and Donny finally tells his meet cute story. Then, Tracey shocks the pair with stories of the worst accommodations she's ever stayed in. Also, the Cuties tell the biggest lies they've told their significant others.

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Chelsea: @ohnochels
Donny: @realdonnywood

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Poseidon Jan 01, 2023

Show notes

Nothing says "Happy New Year" like a recap of the (not) disaster movie, 'Poseidon!' First, Chelsea and Donny go over their highlights and lowlights of 2022 and begin manifesting for 2023 (including, but certainly not limited to, a Clearly Canadian sponsorship). Then, Donny manifests a wish that he was… literally anywhere else as Chelsea goes on a Ted Talk tangent about what constitutes a disaster film. The Cuties submit their worst New Year’s Eve, Donny shares more stories about peeing himself and his fear of escalators while Chelsea shames one of her wedding guests and admits that she’d leave children (not hers) behind in a tragedy. Hope you have a Fergalicious 2023!

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While You Were Sleeping (w/ Danny Murphy) Dec 25, 2022

Show notes

Your stockings are hung by the chimney with care, visions of sugarplums danced through your heads; now complete your holiday morning by listening to a recap of everyone's favorite Christmas movie that came out in April, "While You Were Sleeping!" Danny Murphy, the eyes and lips behind @kashmeredanny, starts the episode by giving Chelsea a recipe for a new holiday cocktail and Donny laments over business models he's too late to cash in on. Also, Chelsea and Danny pop Donny's bubble about which days of the year are safe. Then, Chelsea goes on many rants including - but not limited to - the 90s villainizing the other woman, her children's art, mistletoe, and... this entire movie. Finally, Donny is not a hero.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!
Shop our merch!
Follow Us on Social Media!
TikTok: @cuteonepodcast
Chelsea: @ohnochels
Donny: @realdonnywood

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The Holiday (w/ Ryan Sichelstiel) Dec 18, 2022

Show notes

To cover "The Holiday," Ryan Sichelstiel (@rysic) signs up to do a house swap of his own, but finds he'll be staying in Hell as he spends the hour with a flu-ridden Chelsea and Donny, who are hopped up on NyQuil and hot toddies, respectively. White Lotus-inspired fan theories, fat holes, Viagra sponsorships, and Imogeon Heap sing-a-longs are brought up in the duo's sickness-induced haze. Then, the Three Musketeers of podcasting discuss the importance of foreplay. Also, Donny may be the main character of his life, but that main character turns out to be a sociopath when he shares his favorite (made up) celebrity conspiracy theory. Last, the Cuties submit the craziest things they've done for love.

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A Diva's Christmas Carol (w/ Troy and Kelli of "Beyond the Blinds") Dec 11, 2022

Show notes

No, you're not delirious, it's not some mistake; and that's not a Heartquake you're feeling - it's excitement. That’s right - the hosts of Beyond the Blinds podcast are joining Chelsea and Donny to celebrate one year of I Am The Cute One covering nostalgic millennial favorites! The four recap (and we use that term loosely) the made-for-VH1 holiday hit (and we don’t use that term loosely), A Diva’s Christmas Carol. The group debates which celebrity they’d let treat them like dirt, what constitutes a Daddy, and their favorite classic divas. Then, the “funny” duo of Donny and Troy are put on the spot.

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Home for the Holidays (w/ Chelsea's Brother!) Dec 04, 2022

Show notes

It’s a family affair this week as Chelsea’s brother, the artist of our generation, joins our hosts to recap “Home for the Holidays,” which… is a strange movie to make a family holiday staple, if you’re asking Donny. Also, Donny finally feels what it’s like to be shocked to hear people’s childhood trauma when the siblings share stories about odd graduation presents, triggering family vacations, and an infamous bartender from their hometown. Then, Chelsea’s brother and Donny team up to make fun of Chelsea for her poor taste in sitcoms before he changes sides and teams up with his sister to torment Donny about “vacation footage.” One last thing: Alfalfa from Little Rascals is not in this movie.

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