I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

TGIF 4/26/24: Taylor Swift vs. Kim K, Tori Spelling Drama, and Prolapsed A-Holes! Apr 26, 2024

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Thank you to today's sponsor, OneSkin! OneSkin keeps your skin looking and acting younger for longer. Get started today with 15% off using code CUTEONE at oneskin.co!

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

In a week that brought us Peppa Pig roasting Taylor Swift, Ashanti and Nelly’s pregnancy, The Office spin-off casting, a Spice Girls reunion, and Candace Cameron’s brush with death, Chelsea and Donny discuss the hottest of topics: torn up assholes, vomit marathons, bonobo sex, and internet haters. And that’s all in the first five minutes. They then dissect Taylor’s new album, The Tortured Poets Department, and break down Kim Kardashian and Tori Spelling news… before fighting about Emma Watson’s accent. Again! (This episode description was written by Stephanie Sanchez.)

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Judy Blume's "Forever" (The Cuties Learn to Read) Apr 22, 2024

Show notes

Thank you to today's sponsor, OneSkin! OneSkin keeps your skin looking and acting younger for longer. Get started today with 15% off using code CUTEONE at oneskin.co!

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

Chelsea's recap of "A Court of Thorns and Roses" on Friday was so well-received that we decided to re-release their first attempt at a book club. The library is open (or whatever the girls say), and Chelsea and Donny are covering the book Chelsea hasn't been able to shut up about - Judy Blume's "Forever." The two discuss the delicacies of The Melting Pot, the perks of horse girls, annoying teenagers, and... Ralph (not the Mouse on the Motorcycle.) Then, Chelsea shares (one of) her most embarrassing date stories. Also, Donny doesn't know how to read (not in a Lea Michele way).

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 4/19/24: A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nature Documentaries, and Secret B*tches! Apr 19, 2024

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On a week that brought us Bravo firing everybody, Courtney Love’s opinions on modern artists, a This Is Us rewatch podcast, and The Tortured Poets Department, Donny wants your opinion on his health. (It’s probably not good - he’s been watching nature documentaries.) With so many pop culture hot topics to discuss, the Cute Ones decide to.... talk about books they’ve been reading. Chelsea breaks down Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR), and Donny shares behind the scenes of Golden Girls, Lindsay Lohan’s Daddy, and Roseanne from Stan Zimmerman’s The Girls: From Golden to Gilmore. Chelsea educates on how fairies f*ck, shares her thoughts on immortality, and tests Donny’s riddle skills. Also, if Donny had you in blocked prison, you’re free; let’s see for how long.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (The Cuties Eat Veal Parmesan!) Apr 15, 2024

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Do we make you horny, baby? After some Award-winning Austin Powers impressions, Chelsea and Donny vent about sports radio, share their deserted island foods, and get itchy over Beavis and Butthead. Then, Donny reminisces about the horrors of being chased by Menonites and Chelsea attacks American Girl doll owners. This isn’t Texas Road House, so Donny’ isn’t spitting on the floor, but don’t worry - Chelsea has Mike Meyers trivia.GET A LIFE!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 4/12/24 Cyrus Family Drama, Jax and Brittany Separating, and Espresso Martini Laxatives! Apr 12, 2024

Show notes

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Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

You're not being Punk'd, Cuties - Chelsea DOES really look that good, and Donny is probably still strung up from his espresso martini high last week. In a week that brought us Julie Chrisley's radiator chicken casserole, Missy Elliott's tour announcement with Busta Rhymes, Timbaland, and Ciara, news of a new Bridget Jones movie, and Christina Applegate's Real Housewives of Potomac opinions, the Cute Ones dive into Noah Cyrus liking Liam Hemsworth's thirst trap and Jax and Brittany separating before brainstorming new tattoo ideas and divorce announcements. Also, Chelsea is still "half way through" ACOTAR. What should Chelsea and Donny's first public feud be about?

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Empire Records w/ Katrina Davis (The Cuties Sing Into the Mic!) Apr 08, 2024

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Happy Rex Manning Day! Comedian Katrina Davis ("Figuring It Out") returns to celebrate this high holy day to discuss the box office flop and cult classic, "Empire Records." Donny may hate music, but nobody needs to use the veto power this week because it's a movie everybody can agree on (except the JoJoHeads, who Chelsea wastes no time pissing off at the start of the episode). They also dive into flop house hotels, Gen Z employees, the elegance of Urban Outfitters, the joys of a speaker phone, and the wig work on the Vanderpump Rules spin-off, "The Valley." Sing into the mic, Cuties!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 4/5/24: No Home Improvement Reboot, Abby Hensel's Wedding, and Crotch Rot! Apr 05, 2024

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In a week that brought us Lizzo quitting, Zooey Dechanel denying nepo baby allegations, Grey’s Anatomy’s newest season, Ramy Youseff’s SNL monologue, and Shakira feeling emasculated by Barbie, Mother Nature also brought us rain… and worms. And Chelsea’s family visited Donny in New York, so they have many stories to tell (including a huge announcement!) They also break down friend poaching, Abby Hensel’s wedding, raw dogging coffee, and the Home Improvement reboot (or lack thereof). Also, updates on Charlotte the Stingray’s pregnancy are announced. Justice for Donny; bring him a meat platter for two!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Sucker Punch (The Cuties Explore Feminism!) Apr 01, 2024

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It's April Fool's Day, so the Cute Ones are covering 2011's "Sucker Punch" because Donny must have been a fool for thinking Chelsea would have any emotions for this movie besides raw hatred, and Chelsea must be a fool for not enjoying it. (Can you tell which of them wrote this?) In their discussion, they dive into what fantasy world they'd love to disassociate to, unsufferable film bros, and Mapquest. Also, Chelsea has found a new arch nemesis in the form of Zack Snyder, and Donny has found a new daily uniform in the form of his sexy feminist alter-ego, Peaches.

And remember, ladies - "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." - Zack Snyder or Donny's Facebook, or Alexander Hamilton

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 3/29/24: Kate Middleton Breaks Her Silence, RHOP Cast Shakeups, and the Joy of Banging Pots and Pans! Mar 29, 2024

Show notes

Thanks to our sponsor, OneSkin! Get 15% off OneSkin with the code CUTEONE at https://www.oneskin.co/

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

In a week that brought us Karen Huger’s DUI, the Titanic door selling at a Hollywood auction, Sean “P Diddy” Combs' home raid, and Kate Middleton breaking her silence, Chelsea and Donny choose to discuss... herpes and the Real Housewives of Potomac, naturally. Also discussed are Normani's upcoming album and a new contender is chosen for Chelsea's top movie of 2024.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

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Troop Beverly Hills (The Cuties Pee in Public!) Mar 25, 2024

Show notes

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Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes (we're covering "The Comeback" starting this week!) as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

What a thrill! March may be coming to an end, but it’s only week three of Donny Appreciation Week, so to celebrate, he and Chelsea discuss capitalism on the moon and try to find Banana Republic on a map. Donny is moved by watching “Troop Beverly Hills,” and sheds light on his Boy Scout era while Chelsea sheds light on her stalker era. Cuties, if you have been wondering how to pee in public, Donny has tips for you! In their new “Privileged White Bxtch” segment, Chelsea discusses her 23 and Me results and Donny does some problematic accent work. Also, God, if you’re listening - the Cute Ones are failing their Job tests, so it’s time to call off any more rainy tailpipes and bowel issues.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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