I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

TGIF 5/31/24: Bethenny Frankel's (Latest) Meltdown, The Pope Pulls a Mark Wahlberg, Lindsay Lohan's Comeback, and Slutty Boy Summer! May 31, 2024

Show notes

After Donny’s eventful weekend that included Red Robin, a bachelorette party, learning to play pool, and hanging out with Andy Cohen, he and Chelsea are here and ready to recap the week’s biggest headlines! With a week that brought us a pause for Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard, a moment of silence for Nicki Minaj’s dear friend Princess Diana, and North West’s stage debut; the duo decide to discuss Bethenny Frankel’s ban from Chanel and casting rumors for the upcoming season of The Traitors and the newest Knives Out movie. (Cuties, this episode was recorded on Wednesday, May 29. Lindsay Lohan has not been confirmed, but Kerry Washington, Jeremy Renner, Mila Kunis, and Glenn Close have been.) But enough of that - it’s Slutty Boy Summer; grab the closest 3” shorts you got and show off that bussy, fellas!

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Harriet the Spy (The Cuties Normalize Roast Beef Privates!) May 27, 2024

Show notes

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Harriet M. Welsh may write everything she sees, but Chelsea takes whatever gummies she sees, and today - it’s melatonin. So buckle up, Cuties, because you’re in for a RIDE. Besides talking about this iconic life-ruining middle school menace, the duo also discuss people watching (what a waste of time!), their experience in the school paper, and roast beef privates (justice for Lauren Conrad). Then, tea is spilled about the Survivor 46 finale party. Also, Donny may make burn book entries using Chelsea’s childhood photos, but please don’t DM him agreeing with his opinions of her!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 5/24/24: The End of Red Lobster, Chet Hanks Explains Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake, and Jerkin' it to Angry Birds! May 24, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode is brought to you by OneSkin! Get 15% off OneSkin with the code CUTEONE at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod

Donny doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life, but at least Chelsea’s brain has snapped back (...did it?). In a week that has brought us the belly buttons of the Summer House reunion, Ben and Jen divorce rumors, a This Is Us reunion, and Chad Michael Murray’s marriage reflections, Chelsea decides this is NOT a safe space and decides to talk about… Tom Hanks. And while the Cuties mourn the loss of Red Lobster, they still make time to discuss the most important topic: their avatars in the Project Makeover app.

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Georgia Rule (The Cuties Suck on Some Lobes!) May 20, 2024

Show notes

Today’s episode is brought to you by OneSkin! Get 15% off OneSkin with the code CUTEONE at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod

Get ready for a real knee slapper, Cuties, because Donny and Chelsea are covering “Georgia Rule” this week. Besides trauma bonding over this dark and triggering movie, the duo also bond over tanning beds, public sex, Mormon tricks, the motherly instinct to suck on earlobes, and what their rules would be if they were roommates. And who knew? Chelsea is a girl! (And afraid of bugs?!)

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 5/17/24: The Simple Life Reboot, Legally Blonde Prequel, and Celebrating Celibacy! May 17, 2024

Show notes

Subscribe to our Patreon for bonus episodes, as well as unedited and unhinged audio and video recaps!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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The Stepford Wives (The Cuties Step Up Their Game!) May 13, 2024

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Chelsea is wigless and Donny’s wearing his fanciest Italian fashions from Forever 21 - it’s the start of a new era, Chicken Cadoodles (derogatory). Besides their makeovers, they discuss Disney Channel Original Movies and moving to Connecticut, eat avocado toast (THERE’S NEVER ANY TIME!), and brainstorm reality show ideas starting with “Let’s K*ll All Women.” Then, the Cute Ones mourn the break-up of Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker (even though they’re still together). When it comes time to discuss their For You pages, it’s… a lot of what you’d expect: pirate shanties, shirtless men, and erotic Furbies. Also, if you’re not decorating with pinecones, you’re on the wrong side of history. Oh yeah, and they watch 2009’s “The Stepford Wives.”

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 5/10/24: Met Gala Fashion, The Trump Trial, Raven Symone Defends Her Wife, and C*ck Sucking Heroes! May 10, 2024

Show notes

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Chelsea barely made it to Friday, but here we are! Once Donny stops itching, the Cute Ones discuss the hottest topics of the week, including Luke Skywalker’s appearance at the White House, Panera’s Charged Lemonade, the MET Gala, Drake and Kendrick Lamar’s (continued) feud, and Hilary Duff’s new baby. But not really - because bigger news is on the table to be discussed: Raven Symone defending her wife and Stormy Daniels’ - that cock sucking hero! - testimony (and poor court drawings) at the Trump trial. Also, stop working with your spouse and if you think “Hannah Montana” is the best Disney Channel show, you’re racist.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Ella Enchanted (The Cuties Join a Fight Club!) May 06, 2024

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Donny may have the Italian disease, but Chelsea has something even worse: a wig that makes her look like Rose McGowan. In this episode, the Cute Ones discuss Alexa Vega marrying her brother, Chelsea (and Joan Crawford’s) no gift rule, dungeons and dragons, and Donny wanting to join a fight club. They also break down Anne Hathaway’s 2004 film, “Ella Enchanted,” where Chelsea does (or doesn’t) drag Donny through the mud before they brainstorm what curse they’d give a baby if they wanted to ruin its life. Hope you enjoyed this episode, Cuties, because this podcast will NEVER COVER ANOTHER CINDERELLA MOVIE AGAIN.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 5/3/24: The Challengers, Stuff in Bella Hadid's Bag, and Yankin' it in Public! May 03, 2024

Show notes

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After Chelsea arrives fergaliciously late with her bat eyes and rat ears, Donny airs his grievances about Washington, DC (WHY IS THERE NO WAWA?) Then, they discuss the hottest headlines: Drew Barrymore’s interview with Kamala Harris, the Tony nominations, Barbra Streisand’s “compliment” to Melissa McCarthy, and… Donny seeing Challengers and Bella Hadid’s purse, naturally. The duo also discuss ways to watch horror movies, how to be invisible, and manners: let people masturbate in porn theaters (Pee-wee Herman included!)

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

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Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead (The Cuties Drink Hot Dog Water!) Apr 29, 2024

Show notes

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This week’s episode is about… Christ if we know, Cuties. Part “Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead” recap, part cry for help in honor of Donny’s health; Donny and Chelsea cover it all. They discuss drag brunches, hot dog water, themed restaurants, Chelsea’s memory play, the foods least likely to give you scurvy, and …The Twits (whatever that is). If Donny is dead by the time you listen to this, please still subscribe to the Patreon, you butch.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS onApple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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