I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

The Running Man (The Cuties Use a BowFlex Machine!) Nov 03, 2025

Show notes

Chelsea has done it again. The Cute Ones are watching The Running Man, a movie that hits a little too close to home. So instead, Donny forces the duo to cover Adam Sandler’s Click for five minutes. Then, Chelsea tries to get two months in a row where she picks the movies and Donny gets horned up about the Louvre robbers enough to plan what sounds he’d make if he was in porn. Also, manifestation works, and Chelsea’s dog got John Stamos in the news. Are you a low forehead?

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TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

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TGIF 10/31/25: The Cuties Saw You From Across the Bar and Like Your Vibe! Oct 31, 2025

Show notes

Tell me about it, Stud. Donny and Chelsea are in their finest Grease costumes to cover the week’s hottest headlines, as well as discuss their weeks, including Donny being left alone in a haunted house and Chelsea being haunted by a smoke detector. Also, Kim Kardashian gave bush panties to orphans while her sister is making vag lollipops. And the most important news you’ll hear this week… Ariana Grande is brunette again.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

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What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (The Cuties Love a Transatlantic Accent!) Oct 27, 2025

Show notes

Chelsea and Donny finish spooky season strong, with the Bette Davis/Joan Crawford psycho-biddy hit, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" You'll notice the duo are not in costumes, but they want to save June and Blanche costumes for a Halloween live show in the future. They also discuss Emma Stone's new movie, Mall World merch, and the slurs not allowed to be used in the Rivers household. And there is a twist this episode, Cuties - the gangster in "Home Alone" took acting lessons from Baby Jane. The Cuties love a Transatlantic accent!

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 10/24/25: The Cuties are Terrorized by Smoke Alarms! Oct 24, 2025

Show notes

The Cute Ones have been blocked in Russia, so instead of playing music this week, Chelsea is doing us all a favor by singing. Someone needs to do Donny a favor by buying him a sleep apnea machine because he fell asleep in the movie theater this week. Also, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato released new music and the floating pumpkin race was a smashing (pumpkin) success.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Desperate Housewives (The Cuties Drop a Surprise Bonus Episode!) Oct 22, 2025

Show notes

SURPRISE! Please enjoy this sneak peek of our bonus content, usually exclusively over on our Patreon!

FOR THE REST OF OUR DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES COVERAGE, ⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Casper (The Cuties Join the Root Beer Float Club!) Oct 20, 2025

Show notes

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 10/17/25: The Cuties Look Like They're in Their Forties! Oct 17, 2025

Show notes

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (The Cuties Give Josh Hartnett a Better Name!) Oct 13, 2025

Show notes

Chelsea and Donny are continuing spooky season by covering the non-gorn 1998 horror film, Halloween: H20 (famously not starring Shannen Doherty). Then, they try to dig in to what being compared to Winnie from “The Wonder Years” means before lamenting about the fears of old people. To any headmistresses listening to this episode: what are your responsibilities exactly? Because Donny and Chelsea have no idea after this movie. Sorry there weren’t enough shower scenes.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 10/10/25: The Cuties Go To Mall World! Oct 10, 2025

Show notes

Chelsea and Donny react to Wendy Osefo's arrest - IN REAL TIME - before discussing Donny's schedule to see Wicked: For Good five times in theaters, having a Fat Sister marathon, and the duo's thoughts on Renee Rapp in concert. Also... Chelsea goes to Mall World because why wouldn't she?

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Innocent Blood (The Cuties Celebrate Laura Bush!) Oct 06, 2025

Show notes

You know what they always say: every witch needs a ghost, so to start off spooky season, Donny and Chelsea are breaking down a movie without witches or ghosts - the vampire mafia classic, “Innocent Blood” (and how Vanessa Hudgens’ ‘Sneakernight’ ties in). But first - they recap “Aristocats.” Also, they touch on what plot lines have been missing for Athena Grant in 9-1-1, Shutterfly editing, and where to draw the line when booking sex hotels with your cousin. The Cute Ones beg you to stop talking about your job as a conversation starter and asking what celebrities smell like. THE CATARACS, BITCHES.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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