I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

Goosebumps: The Haunted Mask By R.L. Stine Oct 30, 2023

Show notes

Chelsea is diving into her second Goosebumps book - this time, one where something actually happens, "The Haunted Mask." In this episode, she and Donny continue to give the Cuties headache - with stories about school lunches, army boyfriends, and last minute Halloween costumes. Also, Chelsea used to be smart and knocked it out of the park at the science fair. And if you don't like this episode, you can s*** on a s*** p****.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The First Evil (Fear Street Cheerleaders #1) By R.L. Stine Oct 23, 2023

Show notes

Apologies, Cuties - Halloween is cancelled. But to celebrate the lack of the holiday, Donny and Chelsea are naked (well, Donny is) and covering Fear Street Cheerleaders: The First Evil. Besides the book, they discuss the gunks of the hosts of The Basement Yard, Chelsea's granola doppleganger and Donny's blonde one, and church Hop-a-Thons. Please end the SAG-Aftra strike so that Chelsea stops singing, and remember to buy your tickets to the Hellen Keller musical now before it sells out!

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Introducing: Profoundly Pointless Oct 20, 2023

Show notes

Allow us to introduce Profoundly Pointless, a Signal Award winning podcast. Exorcists, Money Launders, Latex Models and More. Explore something new on "Profoundly Pointless." Every week host Nick VinZant sits down with different guest from a unique walk of life. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Mystery By Deborah and James Howe Oct 16, 2023

Show notes

How many books are there about thinking someone is a vampire with no payoff and hardly any plot? At least two, and Chelsea and Donny are covering their second one on the pod, Bunnicula. Sink your teeth into this chaotic episode where the Cute Ones discuss the gender identities of pets, Dr. Bald's Mr. Hyde moustache era, and gays working at Arby's. Also, Michelle Obama, if you're listening... come on the podcast. You won't regret it (you will, but it will be too late to do anything about it.)

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Know What You Did Last Summer w/ Sarah Hearon (Uncut, Unedited, and Unhinged Patreon Version!) Oct 09, 2023

Show notes

Trick or Treat, Cuties! While we're sorry to play a trick on you by re-releasing an old episode today, we're thrilled to give you the treat of TWENTY SEVEN (that's 27! Count em') minutes of bonus content ONLY EVER HEARD BEFORE ON PATREON!

Deputy Editor of US Weekly and host of “Here For the Right Reasons” podcast, Sarah Hearon, joins Donny and Chelsea to recap ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ and the duo may have done research to pronounce her last name correctly, but they still don’t know a damn thing about the movie they’re covering. The three praise the Scholastic Book Fair, IMDB, and Kevin Bacon’s “The Following.” Also, they dig into horrifying childhood trauma and Donny is forced to send a HR form to Sarah when Chelsea reveals her opinions on Sarah Michelle Gellar. Then, the three discuss which of the cast is the closest to a can of beans. (This episode originally aired October 16, 2022.)

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots (The Adventures Of The Bailey School Kids) By Debbie Dadey and Marcia Jones Oct 02, 2023

Show notes

It's Spooky Season, and since Chelsea has finally seen the Barbie movie, Donny is celebrating by wearing his best bandana. The duo is covering "Vampires Don't Wear Polka Dots," which is a lot less uneventful than either of the two of them remember it being. Besides the book, they reminisce about the meanest teachers they've had, water balloon titties, breaking into neighbor's homes, and teachers who don't know boundaries. Also, Donny confronts Chelsea about not including him in inside jokes. #notallwerewolves

This week's episode is brought to you by our friends at Factor! Head to factormeals.com/cuteone50 and use code CUTEONE50 to get 50%!

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Neighbors From Outer Space By Francess Lantz Sep 25, 2023

Show notes

On the brink of exhaustion after being terrorized by Chelsea's daughter all weekend, Donny completes the cycle of abuse by traumatizing the Cuties with a very detailed Jonas Brothers tweet. Then, the duo cross the Rainbow Bridge to cover Neighbors From Outer Space (which does not include biting off fingernails) and also... fables, some of which may be made up. They also discuss their favorite commercials, their weirdest neighbors, and Donny's hatred of space. And Chelsea sings. Again.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tonight on the Titanic (Magic Tree House, No 17) By Mary Pope Osborne Sep 18, 2023

Show notes

Even God can't stop them! Donny and Chelsea are finally recording the episode that fate tried (repeatedly) to make not happen, and they use the powers of the Magic Tree House to really go places (none of which are the Titanic). They also discuss the hyper focuses of their formative years, cringey abbreviations, setting boundaries, and what your choice of Titanic VHS says about you. Also, Chelsea decides to sing (...twice) and do a little voice work.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth By Barbara Park Sep 11, 2023

Show notes

Donny and Chelsea are still broken from last week's book, so they are using their big fat mouths to tackle an elementary aged book this week: Junie B. Jones and Her Big Fat Mouth. While Junie terrorizes her family and her kindergarten class, Chelsea and Donny terrorize each other with stories of baby talk and childhood dentists. They also talk about kids from the wrong side of the tracks, biting, childhood aspirations, and getting people fired on Take Your Child to Work Day. Also, Junie is almost as much of a feminist as Donny is.

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Face on the Milk Carton By Caroline B. Cooney Sep 04, 2023

Show notes

There's nothing as horrible as being abducted and then lied to your whole life by the people who love you... except reading about it. This week, Donny and Chelsea read the tedious fan favorite "The Face On the Milk Carton" by Caroline B. Cooney and spend that time wishing someone would chloroform them and take them away so they can stop reading. Before you attack - Donny remembered loving this book as a child, but it's not the dramatic thriller you remember. Besides spending the hour saying how miserable they are, the duo also discuss out of the box child names, sick day habits, the 90s obsession of milk and missing white girls, and most importantly - the vaginal health of the Laguna Beach cast.

Head to factormeals.com/cuteone50 and use code CUTEONE50 to get 50% off!

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices