I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

TGIF 9/13/24: The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, JonBonet Ramsey Theories, & Why Emily Gilmore is Supreme! Sep 13, 2024

Show notes

Chelsea and Donny are trying to be grown ups this week, including not soiling themselves, doing some banking, contemplating getting a kitten, and having A-Ha moments. This week also brought us the Presidential debate, the VMAs, Rachel Zoe’s divorce, and Kendrick Lamar being announced as the Super Bowl halftime performer, but the duo won’t be talking about that - instead, Donny finds an excuse to discuss JonBenet Ramsey and the new Brandy movie, and Chelsea has been binge watching “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” and she can’t stop talking about it.

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Little Black Book (The Cuties Traumatize Their Exes!) Sep 09, 2024

Show notes

Brittany Murphy isn’t the only crazy bxtch in this episode, Cuties. Little Black Book may have had Chelsea pacing through her house, but it’s nothing compared to how she and Donny have made their exes sweat in the past. However… that’s nothing compared to Donny actively bleeding from the head through this recording. It may cost $450 to rent a moon bounce, but that won’t stop this duo from getting one (and a lie detector test.) Also, can we remake Gilmore Girls starring Holly Hunter? (While we’re at it, back the Clueless TV show!)

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 9/6/24: Psychics and Sex Clubs, One Tree Hill Reboot Drama, & Why is No One Talking About Those Astronauts Stuck in Space??? Sep 06, 2024

Show notes

Happy Friday, Cuties and Fallen Angels! You should be successful 100% of the time, so we hope you want to be thrown in chaos right now… because this episode will make sure you’re successful at it. Get felt up in an escape room for an hour and pull up a chair because this week was full of headlines: the anniversary of Obama’s tan suit, the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice premiere, the end of brat summer, and strange noises coming from Butch Wilmore’s stranded Boeing ship. Then, Chelsea lies about being a Gavin DeGraw fan when the One Tree Hill reboot is discussed. Also, Donny’s lip may be uneven, much like Shannen Doherty’s eyeball.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Mystery Men (The Cuties Eat Mayo!) Sep 02, 2024

Show notes

With the break from movies over, it’s time for Donny to confess something to Chelsea. Consider it revenge for her picking a movie longer than 2 hours. More revenge is dished out when Donny shares details about his lust for Ben Stiller while discussing Mystery Men. Also, Chelsea is not a supportive spouse but Donny is a gassy one. Perhaps it’s the grocery store-bought tuna melts. And remember: when you doubt your powers, you give powers to your doubts.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 8/30/24: Tom Girardi is Guilty, Channing Tatum Hates Laundry, & Raccoons Howling at the Moon! Aug 30, 2024

Show notes

Now that the horse party is over, silence is officially upon us, but not for long if Donny gets his way and shouts slurs at the start of every episode. And if Chelsea gets her way… you’ll be seeing a lot of raccoons. But besides that, the US Open began, Oasis is possibly reuniting, and a Baywatch documentary premiered. Also, Chelsea only had to bring up Truman Capote once to get Donny interested in the Haley Jakobson “Old Enough” drama. Also, Channing Tatum doesn’t do laundry. Or didn’t in 1999. Donny surely doesn’t know. #TeamSharpay

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Clueless w/ Dakota Wright (The Cuties Do Extra Credit!) Aug 26, 2024

Show notes

Best is different than favorite, but Dakota Wright is here to prove that Clueless is both! While Dakota is our self-identified Cher, Donny shares how he would get extra credit by telling his teachers he was getting extra credit. Then, the three discuss the worst mid-party makeovers, cooking on dates, backseat drivers, and failing the driver's test. Also, Chelsea reveals more family secrets.

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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(This episode originally aired 5/8/2023)

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 8/23/24: Shannon Beador vs. Jesus Jugs, The Downfall of Blake Lively, & Why Horse Girls Are Born That Way! Aug 23, 2024

Show notes

Chelsea is still relaxing (or painting?!) after her weekend off and Donny is lying to his friends about the movies he watches, but the news cycle doesn’t stop. And so the cuties discuss Jennifer Lopez, Trump being tricked by AI, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and Bravo hot topics. Also, cockroaches have returned back to work, and Blake Lively must be protected!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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American Pie w/ Emily Hanks (The Cuties Suck Off a Plunger!) Aug 19, 2024

Show notes

This week, Donny and Chelsea are joined by Emily Hanks, host of She's Speaking, to cover American Pie. The movie may not be mean (thanks, Rog!), but it is... a lot of other bad things (this movie... does not age well, even though there's only a few pie thrusts!) The three relive their worst bedroom experiences and discuss fuzzy porn, hot cartoon characters, and which household items can be used as... toys. Also, Emily shares behind the scenes stories from the movie and her bedroom antics with someone you've seen on your TV (maybe). Suck me, beautiful!

This episode originally aired in May of 2023!

If you want more of Emily, watch her LIVE on August 23, 2024!

Get your tickets here: https://new.hotelcafe.com/event/shes-speaking-live/

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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TGIF 8/16/24: Alyssa Milano on Broadway, Astronauts Stuck in Space, & Sexual Awakenings via WWE! Aug 16, 2024

Show notes

TGIF, Cuties! In a week full of “It Ends With Us” drama, the end of the Olympics and a new Bachelor, Chelsea is binge watching WWE clips and coming fresh from Newport News after hanging out with Cuties who were bored by her presence while Donny is flushing his green poops, chowing down on ring bologna, and living his “Dance Moms” fantasies. Also, astronauts are stuck in space (not like Sandra Bullock) and the D23 Expo brought us news of a Coco ride (with too many skeletons). And before you go - are you gay or autistic?

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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Garden State w/ Troy McEady (The Cuties Make An Announcement!) Aug 12, 2024

Show notes

Donny and Chelsea give an important announcement (listen to the first 5 minutes!)

Then, Chelsea flourishes when she discovers she has a friend in Troy McEady, who also made "Garden State" his entire personality in the early aughts. They discuss manic pixie dream girls, The Drew Barrymore Show, naming pets, and Donny's (former) Asian grandmother. Also, Chelsea *accidentally* did more drugs as a youth. Surprise!

This episode was originally aired in June of 2023

For bonus episodes and unedited & unhinged audio and video recaps, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh (or scream), please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify

TikTok: @cuteonepodcast

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Support the show

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices