I Am The Cute One

Latest Episodes:

TGIF 6/20/25: The Cuties Get Served! Jun 20, 2025

Show notes

Donny has recovered from a weekend with Chelsea, but have either of them recovered from seeing a community theater production of <redacted>? Maybe Chelsea’s next limerick will give the answer. Then, the Cute Ones give some Father’s Day updates from Justin Bieber and Mario Lopez before crowning two of music’s greats as Cutie of the Week.

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

QUINCE: quince.com/cuteone

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If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

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Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

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What We Do In The Shadows w/ Noor (The Cuties Love Linkin Park!) Jun 16, 2025

Show notes

Noor may not think she looks cute today, but she's here to watch What We Do In The Shadows (although Donny - famously with no trauma - thinks it's a waste of time). The trio discuss if they think they'd be good vampires, the horrors of self check out cameras, and the sexiest attributes of meth heads. We don't listen and we do judge. Also, an update on seeing Donny through his window.

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

QUINCE: quince.com/cuteone

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 6/13/25 (w/ Piaget Ventus): The Cuties Start a Group Chat! Jun 13, 2025

Show notes

Every day is a spirit day at this podcast (and at Coco and Sapphire’s school), and today’s themes are boat wear, celebrity scarves, and iconic guests as Piaget Ventus of Pia Pops Off joins the Cute Ones. The three discuss Ma 2, the Black Power Ranger, the TONY Awards and the Beckham family drama. Also, Sinners is great; who knew?

INTRODUCTION

4:00: chelsea’s bday weekend/all good music festival

5:30 donny’s visit / what do you wear on a boat?????

8:45 the oh, mary! TONYs party / cole escola vs. nicole scherzinger?

11:00 celebrity sightings: robert deniro, bradley cooper, gigi hadid

11:45 donny’s run in with olivia rodrigo

15:45 donny’s sister is having a baby!

16:45 chelsea is added to a group chat

18:50 overcompensating on amazon prime

HEADLINES WITH PIA

24:00 this week’s headlines / MA 2

27:00 the TONYs

33:00 addison rae

34:45 millennial culture

35:55 brooklyn beckham feud w his family

40:30 cutie of the week

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

QUINCE: quince.com/cuteone

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (The Cuties Get a Nose Job!) Jun 09, 2025

Show notes

Getting elbowed in the face is not suggested after a nose job, and neither is watching “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” if you don’t like wasting time. The Cute Ones teach you everything you need to know about Bensalem, Pennsylvania before Donny signs up for Harvard classes and Chelsea comes for students with perfect attendance. Also, Jennifer Grey and Matthew Broderick killed someone and Barry Bostwick is not in this movie. #neverforget

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 6/6/25 (w/ Kendrick Tucker): The Cuties Play Russian Roulette! Jun 06, 2025

Show notes

What a week, Cuties! Avril Lavigne… or Melissa, flies, home improvement projects, and Harriet Tubman got the Cute Ones through their weeks, but now they’re here with Kendrick to break down the week’s hottest (per them) headlines. The three discuss Patti Lupone’s apology, Paige DeSorbo’s new nightwear, and Julia Stiles trying to fxck her dad. Also, Donny and Chelsea want to go back on Kendrick’s podcast, so give Kendrick 5 stars!

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

QUINCE: quince.com/cuteone

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

INTRODUCTION

4:20 Donny’s sobriety update (Day 67)

6:00 Avril Lavigne Concert / Melissa Conspiracy Theory

10:10 Oh, Mary! Celebrity sightings

10:45 Skinnytok (trigger warning: ED)

14:20 Chelsea has electricity in her house!

15:30 LIVE SHOW NEWS!!!!!

HEADLINES W/ KENDRICK TUCKER

19:30 Chelsea & Donny are banned from Kendrick’s show :(

20:40 Love Island

22:00 Blake vs. Justin

23:15 Broadway News: Beetlejuice, Hell’s Kitchen, & the latest with Patti LuPone

29:00 Paige Desorbo/Bravocon/RHOA

34:30 Jonathon Joss

35:00 Cutie of the Week

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Predestination w/ Chelsea's Brother (The Cuties Are Their Own Grandpa!) Jun 02, 2025

Show notes

Chelchella has arrived, and Donny is in Hell-chella (we're workshopping it). He may have only understood 98% of Predestination, but luckily he has Chelsea's brother to help him through it this episode. What he won't need assistance for is k*lling someone, but it's not legal yet, so we're safe. They also discuss Donny's student film, the logistics of time travel, and what volume level you should listen to your television. But most importantly: the truth about Uncle Perkins is out.

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

MINT MOBILE: mintmobile.com/cuteone

QUINCE: ⁠quince.com/cuteone⁠

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 5/30/25: The Cuties Try Out Toxic Positivity! May 30, 2025

Show notes

It was a week of crash outs for the Cute Ones, but they’re on the other side of it (mostly) and ready to talk about everything else that happened this week: Lilo and Stitch, Pee Wee as Himself, and Netflix’s Sirens. Also, Donny is losing his mind with news of Lea Michele’s return to Broadway and updates about P*tti L*pone’s interview about stage icons Audra McDonald and Kecia Lewis. And also… Tom Cruise ate popcorn.

INTRO:

2:00 donny’s crash out

5:40 chelsea’s new phone / petty b*tch era

9:40 pee wee documentary

13:20 sirens

HEADLINES

18:00 broadway corner: leah michele’s chess revival, patti lupone drama

24:15 tom cruise is a psychopath

29:43 cutie of the week / lilo and stitch controversy

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A Goofy Movie (The Cuties Hate The Beatles!) May 26, 2025

Show notes

It’s a High Holy Day! Chelsea’s phone is broken, and she’s forced to get a new one. But also, the Cute Ones are watching “A Goofy Movie” (a movie not really about Goofy, but about his son) in honor of its 30th anniversary. Max isn’t dead yet, so the duo cover women who fish, last day of school assemblies, white trash activities, and other worldly monsters. Also, is it okay to find your Dad attractive?

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels
Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TGIF 5/23/25: The Cuties Plan a Jail Break! May 23, 2025

Show notes

Donny is 50 days sober, so emotionally, he's zooting (look it up) himself up in space, while Chelsea is making sure liquor store employees listen to the podcast, forcing people to watch MILF Manor, and making fun of people's speech impediments - to their face. Also, the Cute Ones discuss the Gemini Jail Break and check in on Blake Lively. Cuties, if you love yourself... DO NOT see "Hurry Up Tomorrow."

This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc. com/CUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠

Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (The Cuties Get Political!) May 19, 2025

Show notes

This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc! Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc. com/CUTE to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video, subscribe to our Patreon!

If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on Apple or Spotify This is the easiest way for us to grow our community!

Get your Cutie MERCH!

We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video!

Chelsea: @ohnochels

Donny: @realdonnywood

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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