Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

What do I do when my friends and family won’t acknowledge my vulnerable faith deconstruction work? Apr 18, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I talk with Valerie and answer the question “What do I do when my friends and family won’t acknowledge my vulnerable faith deconstruction work?” Valerie is a fellow therapist and podcaster. She has been struggling with negative feedback from strangers about her podcast about faith deconstruction and a lack of feedback from friends and family.

I tell Valerie that any bad reviews from strangers—while difficult to read—are not about her. They are about her work, and she is not her work. Her work is a vulnerable expression of who she is, but it is not who she is.

The same principle applies to her family and friends’ lack of willingness to talk about the topics she covers in her podcast: She is not her work. If someone doesn’t want to talk about her work, it does not mean that they are rejecting her. I invite her to ask her family and friends for what she wants out of their relationship and to create more separation between her and her work.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.
Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I build confidence and not let self-doubt hold me back from achieving my goals? Apr 04, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I talk with Stacy and answer the question “How can I build confidence and not let self-doubt hold me back from achieving my goals?” Stacy is studying to become a therapist, and she wants to build up her confidence so that it doesn’t fluctuate based on feedback from other people like her supervisor or family.

Stacy tells me that sometimes she feels that she will have confidence once she’s perfect. We talk about how this equation is setting her up to never feel the confidence she wants. I share that after 30 years as a therapist, if I had to perfect and know everything I would still have no confidence because it’s impossible for me to be perfect. Thinking you have to be perfect before you can be confident actually sets you up for failure! Instead of trying to be perfect, I invite her to examine whether or not she is growing.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

Bonus: Frequently Asked Questions Pt. 3 Mar 21, 2023

Show notes

I’m excited to bring you another FAQ podcast episode! Join me as I sit down with Richie and answer more of your frequently asked questions. Tune in to hear answers to questions like:

How do I stand up for myself with in-laws who want me to be traditional and politically conservative when I am neither of those things?
How can I help my daughters know their worth?
Who am I anymore without children to care for? How do I transition from full-time stay-at-home mom to whatever I am currently?
How can I be a partner to my husband without constantly nagging him to do things?
And more!

In this episode, we discuss a book called Fair Play by Eve Rodsky. Fair Play is an excellent resource for couples who want their relationship to be founded in partnership. You can click the link below (affiliate link) to purchase a copy

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

If you have a question you’d like to hear me answer in a future FAQ podcast episode, email it to me with the subject line “Podcast Question” at hello@drjuliehanks.com.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media

Bonus: How Do I Stop Seeking Others’ Approval with Dr. Jen (March theme) Mar 07, 2023

Show notes

In this bonus podcast episode I talk with Dr. Jennifer Douglas about March’s theme in the Dr. Julie Hanks Group Coaching Membership: How do I stop seeking others’ approval?

In this dynamic conversation we uncover the roots of perfectionism, share phrases and mantras that help battle perfectionist thinking, talk about how overfunctioning at home is a form of perfectionism, discuss the benefits of breaking free from approval seeking, share how to deal with the guilt that accompanies leaving perfectionism behind, and more. This is a conversation you don’t want to miss!

All during March we’re talking about how you can stop seeking others’ approval in the Dr. Julie Hanks Group Coaching Membership. It’s an affordable way to work with me and be part of a community of women who are striving for emotional health.

For $39/mo (a fraction of the price of therapy or 1:1 coaching) you get:

☀️3 group coaching sessions(sessions are recorded to view anytime)

☀️Access to all of my courses (including NEW Boundaries course)

☀️Membership in a private Facebook community of women

☀️Access to all past group coaching calls

☀️And more!

Start your membership today at drjuliehanks.com/membership

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse

Bonus: Overcoming Shame and Cultivating Body Love with Dr. Morgan Francis Feb 21, 2023

Show notes

In this bonus podcast episode, I talk with Dr. Morgan Francis about overcoming body shame and cultivating body love. Dr. Francis is a licensed therapist who offers courses and therapy services on her website that can help you stop hating your body.

During our time together we talk about how we develop body shame, the different ways body shame can show up in our day-to-day lives, and what influence social media has had on body shame. Dr. Francis also shares about body neutrality, which is a helpful way to approach the way you think about your body, especially if you don’t feel ready to love it yet.

All during February we’re talking about overcoming body shame and cultivating body love in the Dr. Julie Hanks Group Coaching Membership. It’s an affordable way to work with me and be part of a community of women who are striving for emotional health.

For $39/mo (a fraction of the price of therapy or 1:1 coaching) you get: 3 group coaching sessions(sessions are recorded to view anytime), access to all of my courses (including NEW Boundaries course), private Facebook community of women, access to all past group coaching calls and more!

Start your membership today at drjuliehanks.com/membership

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, brows

Is putting my spouse before my kids the best way to manage my parent/spouse relationships? Feb 14, 2023

Show notes

Jennifer is a mother of 1 and a widow who recently remarried. Growing up, she always felt that her parents had a great relationship because they put each other first. Now that she is remarried, she wants to know if this approach is the best way to make sure everyone in her home is taken care of.

Instead of always setting one person before another, I encourage Jennifer to look for ways to balance her relationships with her daughter and husband. Rather than thinking of one coming before another, I invite her to strive for a balance between the two.

During our conversation we also tackle mom guilt and the false idea that mothers should be the only ones to care for their children. Because there is no such thing as a perfect person, letting your child spend time with different people gives them exposure to things you cannot offer them. This will make them a healthier, more well-rounded person.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

Bonus: Frequently Asked Questions Feb 07, 2023

Show notes

In this bonus podcast episode, I sit down with my podcast editor Richie and answer another round of your frequently asked questions. Listen to find answers to questions like

When do I know if I am depressed or just in a rut?
How can I respect members of the LDS Church when I don’t respect the Church’s actions?
How can I have respectful dialogue about my faith transition with family and friends?
How do I make peace with my aspirational shame?
And more!

If you have a question you’d like to hear me answer in an FAQ podcast episode, email it to me with the subject line “Podcast Question” at hello@drjuliehanks.com

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

When my parents don’t respect my boundaries, how can I find a middle ground between putting up with it and shutting them out? Jan 31, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I talk with Cyd and address the question “When my parents don’t respect my boundaries, how can I find a middle ground between putting up with it and shutting them out?” Cyd expresses frustration at her parents’ inability to accept her for who she is without trying to manipulate the choices she makes.

Cyd is doing a great job setting boundaries with her parents and genuinely wants to pursue a relationship with them. At the same time, she feels like she is going in circles having the same conversations and resetting the same boundaries.

The pain and fear that Cyd’s parents feel are keeping them from understanding her. We talk about how this does not mean they do not love her; in fact, it’s probably the opposite. They want what’s best for her, and they think they know what that is. Cyd recognizes that her parents are coming from a place of love, but that she may have a superficial relationship with them unless they are willing to change.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

To learn more about this topic, see the following resource:

Why do I have such a hard time when I tell my kids no? Jan 24, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Tamee and answer the question “Why do I have such a hard time when I tell my kids no?” Tamee shares that even though she knows she isn’t responsible for making sure her children are always happy, she feels responsible whenever they have a negative response to hearing no.

Tamee grew up in a house where she felt unsafe, uncomforted, and even invisible at times. Little Tamee was driven by fear, and she may be directing the way Adult Tamee parents. We discuss how her discomfort may stem from her fear that her children will feel the way she did as a child. I invite Tamee to tell her younger self that Adult Tamee has got this. She is taking care of her children’s needs, and they know they are loved.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

To learn more about this topic, please see the following resource:

Reparenting Yourself course

Bonus: Self Love vs Selfishness with Chrissy Powers Jan 17, 2023

Show notes

In this bonus episode of the podcast, I talk with Chrissy Powers about the difference between self care and selfishness. Chrissy is an LMFT, creative coach, writer, therapist, and mother of three. Her work focuses on encouraging others to live their fullest lives through unfreezing patterns of trauma.

Taking care of yourself and being selfish are two different things, and yet so many women feel selfish for taking care of themselves. Listen as we:

Share our definitions of self care versus selfishness
Discuss why so many women struggle with self care
The emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of taking care of yourself
And so much more!

If you’re interested in prioritizing your self care, join my Group Coaching Membership! We are focusing on this topic all month long.

When you join you’ll get:

⭐️3 group coaching sessions each month with me
⭐️Private FB group
⭐️Access to all previous topics & coaching calls
⭐️Access to DJH courses
⭐️A community of like-minded women to connect & share your journey

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses