Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

How can I recognize a healthy romantic connection when I have one? Aug 29, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Hannah and answer the question, “How can I recognize a healthy romantic connection when I have one?” Hannah describes a theme from her past relationships where she’s often felt like she has to be perfect in order to receive love. This pattern dates back to her childhood relationship with her father.

I tell Hannah that we tend to replay our early relationships in our romantic relationships. In some ways, it’s life telling us that we need to heal a past wound. Healing is possible through therapy, inner child work, choosing healthier relationships, and striving to be more authentic—the latter of which she is actively doing in her current relationship.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.
Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Bonus: The lasting impact of Benson's "To the Mothers in Zion" with Valerie Hamaker Aug 22, 2023

Show notes

For this special episode of the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast, I sat down with Valerie Hamaker of the Latter Day Struggles podcast and discussed the talk “To the Mothers in Zion” by President Ezra Taft Benson. This talk played a significant role in shaping our development and faith—and we had a lot to share.

Valerie and I discussed how as a result of this talk, many Latter-day Saint women felt they had no choice but to be stay-at-home mothers. For some of these women, this meant abandoning professional or educational aspirations in pursuit of a life someone else decided they should live.

And for those who decided to have a career—women like myself—things weren’t any easier. As a result of the conflict between President Benson’s words and my own God-given desire to be a therapist, I have carried a lot of shame and confusion throughout my life. Was I sinning by living the life that I want to live?

Motherhood is an amazing and beautiful thing to be a part of. Motherhood is also a choice. In fact, it is one of many choices. We can value motherhood and trust women’s desires to also have hobbies, careers, education, and more. One does not have to come at the expense of the other.

You can watch my TEDx talk mentioned in the podcast here.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media

How can I find support for myself as my husband heals from a traumatic childhood? Aug 08, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Cassie and answer the question “How can I find support for myself as my husband heals from a traumatic childhood?” Cassie’s husband is actively working on healing from this trauma, but there are times when she feels like her wants and needs have to take a back seat until he is better.

The story that Cassie has to put everything on hold while her husband heals is not true. She cannot wait to focus on herself and find the support she needs because she needs it now. We discuss different ways she can build connection and support into her everyday life, from scheduled nights with friends to journaling when her husband is emotionally unavailable and allowing herself to do less in her everyday life.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

How do I validate myself in my struggles with secondary infertility? Jul 25, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I talk with Moriah and answer the question “How do I validate myself in my struggles with secondary infertility?” Moriah has two children from a previous relationship, but she and her husband of four years have been unable to have a child of their own. She is in a unique position where she belongs to the infertility community but feels guilty for struggling with that heartache when she already has two children.

Moriah wants to have a biological child with her husband. That is a legitimate desire. I ask her if she can hold the fact that she has two children who she loves deeply and that she is sad she hasn’t been able to have another child with her husband. Wanting another child does not mean she is less grateful for her children; it means she has an unmet hope that she has to grieve.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

How do I share my doubts about the LDS Church with my family? Jul 11, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Michelle and answer the question “How do I share my doubts about the LDS Church with my family?” Michelle’s parents are both very religious, and she is unsure how to share the news of her faith journey with them.

Part of being honest about where you are on a faith journey is often disappointing your parents. This is especially hard for Michelle who has felt pressure to be one of her parents’ children who stays in the faith. We talk about how she will lose that role in her family when she tells her parents, and that that will be sad. It’s okay for her to grieve that role, and it’s also okay for her to be true to herself.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session. You can also join my group coaching membership where I host three live group coaching sessions per month covering the topics that matter to you the most.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my membership and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How do I come to terms with my last baby entering toddlerhood? Jun 27, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Kelsey and answer the question, “How do I come to terms with my last baby entering toddlerhood?” She is feeling a sense of loss as her third child leaves the baby stage behind. Instead she wants to be able to feel more joy as her child grows and develops.

I tell Kelsey that the emotions she is experiencing are totally normal, especially for women who had difficult or complicated births and recoveries like she did. It’s common for there to be a sense of loss because she didn’t experience what she expected to in the newborn phase with each of her children.

If you have a question you’d like to hear me answer in a future FAQ podcast episode, email it to me with the subject line “Podcast Question” at hello@drjuliehanks.com.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session. You can also join my group coaching membership where I host three live group coaching sessions per month covering the topics that matter to you the most.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

How can I step away from a friendship without hurting my friend’s feelings? Jun 13, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Sarah and answer the question “How can I step away from a friendship without hurting my friend’s feelings?” Sarah feels like it is time to distance herself from both a group of friends and an individual friend because the relationships are no longer helpful in her life.

It’s hard to break up with a friend without hurting their feelings. I invite Sarah to think about the fact that their hurt feelings are theirs to process; she is not responsible for their reaction. Sarah can be sensitive, reassure her friends, and explain things if she wants to. But she cannot prevent them from feeling pain. Part of this hard conversation is going to involve her being honest and sensitive while also allowing her friends to experience their own feelings.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session. You can also join my group coaching membership where I host three live group coaching sessions per month covering the topics that matter to you the most.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

Bonus: “How do I claim my sexuality?” with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and Dr. Julie Hanks May 30, 2023

Show notes

In this podcast episode, I talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. She answered the question, “How do I claim my sexuality?” Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a relationship and sexuality educator and coach as well as a licensed clinical professional counselor. She has resources on her website to help you achieve greater satisfaction and passion within your emotional and sexual relationship.

During our time together we cover a wide range of topics from embracing sexuality in or out of a relationship, navigating a relationship where the partners have different desires, and even masturbation.

All during June we’re talking about claiming your sexuality in the Dr. Julie Hanks Group Coaching Membership. It’s an affordable way to work with me and be part of a community of women who are striving for emotional health.

For $39/mo (a fraction of the price of therapy or 1:1 coaching) you get: 3 group coaching sessions(sessions are recorded to view anytime), access to all of my courses (including the NEW Boundaries course), private Facebook community of women, access to all past group coaching calls and more!

Start your membership today at drjuliehanks.com/membership

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse my

Bonus: Frequently Asked Questions Pt. 4 May 16, 2023

Show notes

This week Richie joins me as I answer more of your most frequently asked questions. Listen to hear answers to questions like:

Is my grief over infertility related to the teaching that the most important thing for me to be is a mother?
Does your husband agree with everything you post?
Is lasting change possible?
How do I overcome imposter syndrome?
How do navigate my personal growth while also supporting my children?

If you have a question you’d like to hear me answer in a future FAQ podcast episode, email it to me with the subject line “Podcast Question” at hello@drjuliehanks.com.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session. You can also join my group coaching membership where I host three live group coaching sessions per month covering the topics that matter to you the most.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my membership and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Do I have to end my friendship with a family member’s ex now that they are divorced? May 02, 2023

Show notes

In this episode I talk with Heidi and answer the question “Do I have to end my friendship with a family member’s ex now that they are divorced?” Heidi grew very close with the person who married into her family, and after that marriage ended Heidi’s family member asked her to cut contact with their ex. Heidi wants to be respectful, but she also really misses her friend.

I advise Heidi that her family member does not get to make decisions about Heidi’s relationships. They get to decide not to be married to this person, but they do not get to decide if Heidi can still be their friend. If she wants to, Heidi can reinitiate her friendship.

Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

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