Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

Bonus Episode: Instagram Live Q&A Celebrating 10,000 Downloads Feb 20, 2021

Show notes

Thank you for joining me to celebrate 10,000 downloads of my new podcast, Ask Dr. Julie Hanks. I’m thrilled with the response and so grateful to all of you who have downloaded, listened, and reviewed the podcast. Thank you so much for your support!
Some of the questions answered in this episode include:

- What is a triangle or triangulation?

- How do I set a good boundary?

- How do I manage my own suffering when other people have it worse?

- Why is it so easy for me to end a friendship that shakes my trust and is that healthy?

- I need to step away from the LDS church and my spouse is still active. What happens to the kids?

- How to learn how to accept love for myself and believe people when they say they love me?

- How to get along with and get along with siblings you have nothing in common with?

- How to feel fulfilled as a stay at home parent?

Creating Partnership Families
Managing Difficult Family Relationships
Finding the Middle Ground in the LDS Church

Rediscovering Yourself While Mothering
Grieving and Healing Unmet Childhood Needs

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.
Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How do I overcome resentment that I didn't explore options other than motherhood? Feb 16, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches her cousin, Tyler, and addresses the question “How do I overcome resentment that I didn't explore options other than motherhood?” Tyler shares her experience growing up in a religious and familial culture that idealized motherhood. Painting a romanticized picture of motherhood as the path to bliss, the cure to loneliness and suffering, and the only path to a purposeful life, is doing young women a great disservice.

As mothers, we need to include ourselves and what we want in our life. During this episode, Dr. Hanks talks about the cost of idealizing motherhood, the resentment mothers may feel, and shares ways mothers can stop feeling mom guilt and reclaim their identity.
5 Ways to Reduce Mom Guilt
5 Motherhood Myths Making You Miserable

Ted Talk: The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood

Does my child’s behavior problem mean I’m a bad mom? Feb 09, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Cheryl Cardall, host of the Fight Like a Mother podcast, and addresses the question, “Does My Child’s Behavior Problem Mean I’m a Bad Mom?” It is common for parents to take responsibility for the behavior of their children, especially when the behavior is negative.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks talks about how we invest so much time into our children that it can be hard to manage the feelings when things aren’t going well. The idea that “if I were good enough as a parent, this wouldn’t be happening” is a pain point for many, and Dr. Hanks gives guidance for how to separate parenthood from behaviors of our children.
Cheryl Cardall on Instagram
Fight Like a Mother Podcast

5 Ways to Reduce Mom Guilt

5 Motherhood Myths Making You Miserable

TedX Talk: The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood

Do you have a question for Dr. Hanks? Apply to be on the podcast.

How to manage guilt and shame in motherhood? Feb 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Ali and addresses the question, “How to manage guilt and shame in motherhood?” We use guilt and shame interchangeably in society but they are different things. Guilt is about behavior, whereas shame is about who I am as a person. Guilt says “I feel bad about this specific behavior” and shame says “I am a bad human being. I am worthless. I am no good.”
During this episode, Dr. Hanks talks about how society defines motherhood by always being home and present with your children. There is no right way to be a mother. You will mess up your kids but the goal is to do it unintentionally. Letting go of the idea of perfection in motherhood can help pull you out of the mom guilt cycle.

Show Notes:

5 Ways to Reduce Mom Guilt

5 Motherhood Myths Making You Miserable

Ted Talk: The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood

How to deal with divorced parents? Feb 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Tori and addresses the question, “How to deal with divorced parents?” Divorce changes the family dynamic and can put strain on family relationships, particularly when the divorced parents do not want to engage with each other. Evan as adult children, having to hold separate birthday parties, holidays, and other family events can be tiring and cause individuals to feel like they have to pick and choose.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks discusses the importance of grieving the family you once had, and communicating boundaries with parents and other family members about what you will discuss, who you will visit, and what you will be a part of moving forward.
Show Notes:

Course: Managing Difficult Family Relationships During the Holidays

Improving Family Communication

How to tell family about faith transition? Feb 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Mikayla and addresses the question, “How to tell family about faith transition?” During a faith transition it is normal to have fears about disappointing your parents and feeling alienated from your family. Taking charge of your faith is a normal part of growth and development and there is nothing wrong with you.
If you are wanting to talk to your parents and/or family about a faith transition:
1. Ask parents to select a time they are available to have a hard conversation

2. Write down the main points of what you want to convey to them and what you want from them

3. Make that request
Show Notes:
Course: Finding the Middle Ground in the LDS Church

25 Things NOT to Say to Believing Loved Ones

25 Things NOT to Say to a Loved One Leaving the Church

Read Dr. Hanks’ popular Mormon Cultural Commentary Blog Articles
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com

Introduction to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks Jan 20, 2021

Show notes

Each week Dr. Hanks coaches a real person through a common life challenge.
Listen to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks for healing conversations that educate and empower women to prioritize their needs, revolutionize their families, and personalize their faith.
DrJulieHanks.com
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