Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

How can we balance motherhood and work? Jul 06, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Alexis Bradley and Chante Stutznegger, sisters and founders of Let’s Talk Sis, a platform promoting education on race, diversity and creating connection. As new business owners they ask, “How can we balance motherhood and work?”

During this episode, Dr. Hanks reframes the idea of seeking to achieve “balance,” and suggests making work life harmony the goal. There’s never going to be a balance, it sounds unattainable, but having things blend together in a way that works for everyone is a more realistic goal. They also discuss mom guilt and the impact of emotional and mental labor.

Let’s Talk Sis on Instagram
5 Ways to Reduce Mom Guilt

Ted Talk: The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through my membership program, Empower Her Circle. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

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If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I minister to those who are questioning and doubting their faith? Jun 29, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Leo and addresses the question, “How can I minister to those who are questioning and doubting their faith?” One of the best things we can do is to listen more than talk no matter where they are and validate their experience and their feelings, even if you don’t agree.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Leo through recognizing that someone blaming the church or being angry with the church institution is not personal and has nothing to do with him or members personally. It doesn’t feel that way, but if you can think of it that way, it’s not a threat.

Course: Finding the Middle Ground in the LDS Church

25 Things NOT to Say to Believing Loved Ones

25 Things NOT to Say to a Loved One Leaving the Church

Read Dr. Hanks’ popular Mormon Cultural Commentary Blog Articles

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How can I keep fear and insecurity from getting in the way of dating after divorce? Jun 22, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Coral Ward, founder of Gluten Free with Coral and author of the newly released book, No Matter What: Choose joy whether you stay in or leave a hard marriage. In this episode, Coral asks “How can I keep fear and insecurity from getting in the way of dating after divorce?”

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Coral through how to tolerate loneliness and become comfortable being alone. We can consciously practice this by turning off the phone, avoiding distractions, and doing things to get to know ourselves. If we are comfortable in our own skin and with our own company, we will pick a healthier partner in the future.
Coral on Instagram
Gluten Free with Coral
No Matter What: Choose joy whether you stay in or leave a hard marriage

How can I repair relationships I have neglected while dealing with postpartum anxiety and depression? Jun 15, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Bree and addresses the question, “How can I repair relationships I have neglected while dealing with postpartum anxiety and depression?” With relationships that have become distant, if it is something you really want, you’re going to need to take the lead and initiate the repair.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Bree on how to reach out to her friends and separate her apology from the explanation of what has been happening in her life. Friendships can often be repaired, though they may be different, and that’s ok. It’s also ok to grieve for the way the friendship was before the separation.

Why Adults Need Close Friends
How to Survive Friendship Breakups

Should we force our son to participate in church activities? Jun 08, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Janet and addresses the question, “Should we force our son to participate in church activities?” There’s no right way to make this decision. As a parent, you need to decide what your non-negotiables are based on your relationship with the child, who the child is, and how to best parent that child.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Janet through fear that by not letting her son have a say or a choice, her son would make some of the same choices she made. We can’t prevent our children from making the same choices we made, and this fear can get in the way of being in tune with what your children need.
When It Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love
Read Dr. Hanks’ popular Mormon Cultural Commentary Blog Articles

How can help build relationships with my step children in a blended family? Jun 01, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Lisa and addresses the question, “How can help build relationships with my step children in a blended family?” After listening to the second episode of Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, Lisa wondered what she could do to help her blended family while they’re young to create a culture of unity. There is no perfect way to do this, every family is different and unique. The way we can show our family we care is by caring and making an effort.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Lisa through identifying ways she can improve communication among the parents, ideas for including her family who live in another state when and where they can, and how she can continue to show her family how much they are loved.
Managing Difficult Family Relationships During the Holidays

Improving Family Communication

How will I know when I’m ready to have a baby? May 25, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Alicia and addresses the question, “How will I know when I’m ready to have a baby?” Part of Alicia’s family story or mythology is “having kids means giving up your own desires and being unhappy.” With this perspective, it is easy to see how fear may get in the way of being able to make a decision about when to have a child.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks shares with Alicia that she doesn’t ever need to step away from her personhood, ever. Having children may shift the pace and time frame of things in your life, but it doesn’t have to stop it if you don’t want it to. The key to not abandoning everything when you have children is creating a partnership family and taking your children with you on your adventures.
Creating Partnership Families
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How do I create a partnership family after my husband’s death? May 18, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Elizabeth and addresses the question, “How do I create a partnership family after my husband’s death?” Elizabeth’s family had been working towards a partnership model when her husband passed unexpectedly. While moving through grief and trauma, Elizabeth asks how she can implement a partnership model in her home and create a system for taking care of the home.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks introduces Elizabeth to the idea of more often than not. “More often than not, my house is clean. More often than not, my kids do their chores.” Dr. Hanks also shares ways Elizabeth’s children can contribute to the family, and ideas for building in additional support during this time.
Creating Partnership Families

How do I move through pain and anger after years of infertility? May 11, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Krista and addresses the question, “How do I move through pain and anger after years of infertility?” There’s a finality in Krista’s grief now, where there was hope before, and that’s a different phase of grief. Even though the process has been long, this new realization and acceptance that a baby is not going to happen is still new.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Krista through the phases of grief, embracing self-compassion, and giving voice to her grief and resentment. Right now, grief may be right in front of your nose. Over time, it doesn’t go away, but it can move out of the center if you give your grief a voice and allow yourself to feel it.
Has Infertility Impacted Your Relationships

How can I manage anxiety related to social media? May 04, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks Coaches Ashley LeMieux, host of the I Am Podcast and author of I Am Here, and addresses the question, “BLANK.” Being a public personality means you’re in a relationship with thousands of people, and with that comes a lot of feedback and pressure. However, the feedback is not about you, it’s about the post, the image, and the authentic expression of you.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks helps Ashley identify that what people are reacting to is the expression, not the individual. The criticism or the praise is about the idea or the image and is not personal. This frame of mind creates distance between a person and the feedback. We get to be the gatekeepers of what we take into our heart.

Ashley LeMiuex on Instagram

The I Am Podcast with Ashley LeMieux

I Am Here: The Journey from Fear to Freedom
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

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