Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

How can I find and maintain long lasting friendships? Nov 23, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Whitney and addresses the question "How can I find and maintain long lasting friendships?" Friendships change and evolve, and that can be painful. It can be more painful when we have early experiences that tell us the story we are not valuable as a friend.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Whitney through how to challenge her thoughts and beliefs about being a valuable friend, including identifying what the behaviors would look like if Whitney believed she was a valuable friend.
Why Do My Friends Always Leave Me?
5 Ways to Improve Female Friendships
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.
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If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I allow myself to feel anger when others tell me to forgive? Nov 16, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Amanda and addresses the question “How can I allow myself to feel anger when others tell me to forgive?” In the LDS church, we often misunderstand the feelings of anger and believe anger is bad or not Christlike.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Amanda through how feeling anger when we’ve been hurt helps us move forward, and how others often ask us to forgive and move on so they can move on.
5 Myths About Forgiveness
To Forgive or Not To Forgive
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I separate experiences with imperfect people in the church from my testimony of the Gospel? Nov 09, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Caitlin and addresses the question “How can I separate experiences with imperfect people in the church from my testimony of the Gospel?” Caitlin shares a personal experience illustrating the tension between external authority and internal authority, and how she came to own her authority. For many, it can be helpful to separate their relationship with the church from their relationship with their Heavenly Parents.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Caitlin through identifying the grieving process of recognizing leaders can make mistakes, which is a hard transition to make. Dr. Hanks also guides Caitlin through how she can take responsibility for her own faith and her relationship with the church.
Avoiding Mormon Burnout by Saying No
Spiritual Differentiation: Claiming Personal Authority and Revelation

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I maintain my own identity and beliefs in a mixed-faith relationship? Nov 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Sarah and addresses the question “How can I maintain my own identity and beliefs in a mixed-faith relationship?” Sarah shares she recently dated a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and experienced a few challenges finding a compromise between their varied beliefs.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Sarah through ways she can keep her identity and beliefs while in a mixed-faith relationship. A mixed-faith relationship is about creating a partnership through shared values and identifying non-negotiables, and not through trying to convince or convert the other.
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How can I feel confident in my decision to wear garments when I want to? Oct 26, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Elizabeth and addresses the question “How can I feel confident in my decision to wear garments when I want to?” Elizabeth shares her struggle wearing garments as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and her concern about receiving negative comments or judgment from others for that choice.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks validates Elizabeth’s concerns of her choice being misunderstood and teaches Elizabeth that any comments or judgment from others is their problem, not hers. The church leaders give us counsel as seers and prophets to help guide us. Our job is to heed their counsel and in that process we use personal revelation to know how to navigate their counsel.

How can I help support my boyfriend as he struggles with pornography? Oct 19, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Allison and addresses the question “How can I help support my boyfriend as he struggles with pornography?” Reducing the shame surrounding pornography is important, and in most communities in the world, this isn’t a problem. It is a problem because we make it a problem. Viewing pornography doesn’t mean anything about you, your values, or your worth as a person.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks validates Allison’s experience and shares it is not your job to fix, change, or monitor your partner’s behavior. Taking care of you and letting your partner take the lead is going to be really important. If this is distressing to your partner, it is for them to manage it. Pornography does not define who we are.
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How do I resolve shame from my religious upbringing for being LGBTQ? Oct 12, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Kristinya and addresses the question “How do I resolve shame from my religious upbringing for being LGBTQ?” Kristinya shares how she has felt a conflict in her life between her identity as a member of the gay community and her identity as a member of the LDS church.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks validates Kristinya’s experience as painful, real, and damaging. Many individuals Dr. Hanks has worked with have shared this same question and you are not alone. We may feel shame about something, and that may never go away, but we don’t have to let it dictate our life.
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How can I allow myself to feel vulnerable after childhood abuse? Oct 05, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Elle and addresses the question “How can I allow myself to feel vulnerable after childhood abuse?” Elle shares that she’s lost the ability to connect in life and to other people, with a big part of that due to experiencing childhood abuse, and is seeking guidance on how to break out of her shell.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks validates Elle’s experience and talks about how it takes a lot of work to be able to live authentically and to not be fearful. A lot of the work will be nurturing that little girl that didn’t have the nurturing she needed, and actually had harm done by the people she loved. We can learn to be that nurturing place, and with a therapist, learn to heal those wounds.
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

After cutting off my family, how do I stop worrying about their reaction? Sep 28, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches KayJay and addresses the question “After cutting off my family, how do I stop worrying about their reaction?” Setting boundaries can be hard for anyone, but especially difficult for those who are self-defined “people pleasers.”
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides KayJay and shares that this is going to be an exercise in all the things she fears and how to tolerate that. Are people going to be mad at you when you distance yourself? Is it going to impact relationships? All of that is going to happen, and if it’s something you chose, you can own that.
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How can I find peace and contentment in things that I can not change Sep 21, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Shannon and addresses the question “How can I find peace and contentment in things that I can not change?” Living in a remote area of the country without family or social support can feel lonely. You can acknowledge the difficult situations you’re in and that it’s not what you expected, and that’s ok. You can be grateful and grieve.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Shannon working on accepting her reality and grieving her lost expectations. A good place to start the grieving process is spending some time being sad about it, then working towards accepting what it is. Think of feelings of discouragement as grief of lost expectations.
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

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