Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

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Bonus Episode: Setting Healthy Boundaries with Callings, Interviews, & Cultural Expectations with Rosie Card Apr 12, 2022

Show notes

In this bonus episode, I meet with Rosie Card, owner and CEO of Q.Noor. We have a rich discussion about setting healthy boundaries and advocating for yourself in Church settings. Boundaries are tools to protect ourselves. Since you know yourself better than anyone else, you can know where you do and don’t need to set boundaries.

People often worry that boundaries are bad or rude, but Rosie shares that this is simply not true. We all have limitations. You do not have to say yes to every calling that comes your way because it is unrealistic to think that we can do everything all of the time. Boundaries set us up for success by making sure we do not “run faster than [we have] strength” (Mosiah 4:27).

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

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If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

What do I do when my husband and I disagree about Church topics? Apr 05, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Keslie and address the question “What do I do when my husband and I disagree about Church topics? Keslie’s husband is a traditional member of the Church while she is more nuanced in her beliefs. After experiencing a disagreement, Keslie is looking for strategies for finding middle ground.

I tell Keslie that differences do not have to mean disconnection. Different views in a marriage are an excellent opportunity to practice differentiation of self. We also discuss how she and her husband can identify and express their core values both individually and within their marriage.

How do I let go of others’ emotional burdens? Mar 29, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Ali and address the question, “How do I let go of others’ emotional burdens?” Ali remembers taking on others’ burdens from a very young age. She has come to feel that her value and identity are connected to helping other people carry their loads. She sometimes feels like a bad person when she has her own difficult burdens and emotions to work through.

During our time together I help Ali see that it is important to process, talk about, and feel her emotions. Difficult emotions don’t make you an unhelpful or bad person. They just make you a person! Big emotions are part of being human.

How can I re-find joy in motherhood while balancing the demands of caregiving? Mar 22, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Sarah and address the question, “How can I re-find joy in motherhood while balancing the demands of caregiving?” It was important to Sarah to be a stay-at-home mom when her children were little. Now that they are older, Sarah feels less fulfilled in this role and notices this is affecting her relationship with her kids.

Sarah and I discuss how household chores and parenting are not synonymous. I suggest that Sarah sit down with her spouse, delegate household chores to each family member, and then hold them accountable to their jobs. In taking these tasks off of her plate, Sarah will be able to redefine herself and what she does with her time.

How can I support my husband with his mental health struggles while also holding boundaries for my mental health? Mar 15, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Regan and address the question “How can I support my husband with his mental health struggles while also holding boundaries for my mental health?” Together we discuss partnership, mental health, supporting self and spouse, and how to talk to someone about getting therapy.

Regan’s husband had a negative experience attending therapy and has been hesitant to return. I coach Regan through how to explain that her husband can better support his family by returning and attending to his mental health. I also encourage Regan to expand her family’s support system–whether that be through friends, neighbors, therapists, or more.

Bonus Episode: Sasha Piton Mar 08, 2022

Show notes

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Sasha Piton (known on Instagram as @themormonhippie) and have a conversation about claiming personal authority. Sasha shares her conversion story, answers audience questions, and talks about how she has learned to connect with God.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe in personal revelation. We believe that the prophets guide and direct the Church, but we as individuals are in charge of how we will learn, grow, and progress throughout this life. Sasha shares how she has learned to look internally for personal revelation to guide her life instead of relying on external sources.

If you are interested in learning more about personal authority, please join my membership where we are focusing on this topic in the month of March. For $39 per month, you get group coaching with me, journal prompts and affirmations about claiming your personal authority, access to an exclusive Facebook group, and recordings of all my past courses and webinars. Register now at drjuliehanks.com/membership.

In a religion where families are everything, what if I don’t want a relationship with a sibling? Mar 01, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Heather and address the question "In a religion where families are everything, what if I don’t want a relationship with a sibling?” Heather shares that while she has forgiven her siblings, she doesn’t want to be around them after what they did. I reaffirm that she has every right to decide who she wants in her life. You can fully forgive someone and choose not to have a relationship with them.

During this episode we also discuss that Heather is not responsible for the way her family will react to her decision. Her parents’ dream of having all of their children together and happy was broken by the sibling who harmed her, not by Heather choosing not to spend time with them as a result of their actions.

Bonus Episode: Communicating with Family about Faith Transitions with Simply Sadie Jane Feb 22, 2022

Show notes

In this bonus podcast episode, I met with Sadie of Simply Sadie Jane. We spoke about how she has handled differences with family members in how she practices her faith and how she’s found tools of healing.

While it can be uncomfortable for people to see you live your life differently than they live theirs, that doesn’t mean you cannot be true to yourself. Variety makes the world a beautiful place! During our time together Sadie shares how she has set loving boundaries with those around her and has given herself permission to change and grow.

If you are interested in learning more about communicating with family about faith transitions, please consider joining my membership. We are focusing on this topic throughout the month of February, and it is not too late to join. For $39 per month, you get access to group coaching with me, journal prompts and affirmations about communicating your faith transition, access to an exclusive Facebook group, and to recordings of all my past courses and webinars. Register now at drjuliehanks.com/membership. Next month, we will explore personal authority versus general authority.

If you have found this information helpful, you can also find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How do I reconcile my faith with abuse done in the name of righteousness? Feb 15, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Katelyn and address the question "How do I reconcile my faith with abuse done in the name of righteousness?" I tell Katelyn that she doesn’t have to reconcile bad things that other people have done. Those people were wrong, and the gospel can still be true. And you can still participate in it if you want to, even though there are broken people all around you.

We also discuss personal authority and general authority. I help Katelyn see that not everything that is said by someone in a position of authority is gospel truth. Each of us has personal authority to decide by personal revelation what applies to us and our lives.

How can I stop seeking my family’s approval of my life decisions? Feb 08, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Melissa and addresses the question "How can I stop seeking my family’s approval of my life decisions?" Melissa is ready to move forward with her life after a divorce, but she feels held back by the need to prove to her parents that she made the right choice.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Melissa through these feelings. They discuss that while it would be amazing to have, as an adult she no longer requires her parents’ approval. Melissa knows in her heart that she made the best decision, and that is all that matters.

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