Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

How can I reframe the way I think about my job? Jun 21, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Tessa and address the question “How can I reframe the way I think about my job?” Growing up, Tessa was taught that finding a job she loves meant she wouldn’t work a day in her life. As she has grown and entered the workforce, she is yet to find a career she is passionate about. Tessa wants to reframe her thinking so she can be grateful for the job that provides for her family, not just focus on it not being her passion.

Tessa shares with me that she went to school for fashion design. While she works in a completely different industry, she has not given up her passion; in fact, she sews almost every day. I share with Tessa that it is okay if her passion doesn’t make money and invite her to celebrate what she has while allowing space for herself to grieve unmet expectations.

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks, browse DJH merch, and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.
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If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

Bonus: Making Peace With Your Body Q&A with Dr. Hanks Jun 14, 2022

Show notes

In this bonus episode, I answer audience questions live about making peace with your body. I answer questions like

How do you accept your body after weight gain?
How can I expand my self definition beyond my appearance?
How can I appreciate my body’s functions more than its form?
How do I set boundaries with family members when they comment about my body or clothing?

Our bodies are with us our entire lives, and they do a lot of things that we take for granted. If you want to continue this discussion with me, please join my membership where this month we are learning about making peace with your body. You’ll get access to:

Group coaching with me
A private Facebook group moderated by me
Digital downloads including journal prompts, affirmations, and more
All previous membership themes and content
All of my courses
Early access to events.

Visit drjuliehanks.com/membership to learn more and sign up!

Do you love the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast? Click here to leave me a review! And don’t miss an episode—follow me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

How can I initiate difficult conversations with non-receptive parents? Jun 07, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Lauren and address the question “How can I initiate difficult conversations with non-receptive parents?” Lauren wants to break the cycle of negative experiences she had as a child to protect her young daughter. During our time together we talk through how she can have these difficult conversations and advocate for herself if her parents are not immediately receptive to what she has to say.

Part of transitioning to adulthood is claiming your life instead of existing to please your parents. This can be a hard step to take! Lauren and I talk through several situations and practice setting boundaries with respect. I affirm to her that she has the right to say what she thinks and to stand up for herself and her daughter.

How do we change judgment culture? With Suzy Holman May 31, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Suzy Holman and answer the question “How do we change judgment culture?” Suzie recently decided to stop wearing her garments and worries that the clothing she wears will lead others to think that she is no longer a safe space. Garments are a reminder of covenants made I. The temple. Culturally, they often give individuals a sense of trust among others of the same group, and she is grieving the loss of this automatic acceptance in her life.

During our time together we talk about the sadness and judgment that she is feeling as she goes through this change. I share that the way we change judgment culture is to take responsibility for ourselves and our judgmental thoughts. We are responsible for our own journey, and not for anyone else’s.

Why is it hard for us to make a mutual decision about where to move? May 24, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Amanda and address the question, “Why is it hard for us to make a mutual decision about where to move?” Amanda and her husband have been practicing a partnership approach to their marriage, but sometimes she feels their decision-making power is still unevenly distributed.

Amanda and I discuss ways she and her husband can decide who will take the decision-making lead in different situations. Instead of thinking about who has more power, I advise her to think of it this way: she and her husband both have a say, and they won’t come to a decision unless they both agree.

How can I support my kids in our blended family? May 17, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Jessica Frew of the Husband In Law Podcast and address the question, “How can I support my children in our blended family?” Jessica, her husband, and her ex husband have worked together to create an ecosystem of support and acceptance within their blended family, but some sensitive situations still arise.

Jessica shares how she wants to encourage Church attendance without forcing her children or stepchildren to attend. We discuss how she and her husband get to set the rules for their home. They get to decide which things are negotiable and which are mandatory under their roof.

Bonus Episode: Healing Mother-Daughter Relationships with Madeline Hanks May 10, 2022

Show notes

In this bonus episode of the podcast, I have a very special guest: my daughter Madeline Hanks. We have a vulnerable conversation about Madeline’s decision to leave the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as a teenager and how I reacted to her decision. We also tell the story of how we healed our relationship and the conversations that helped us grow closer together.

This month in the DJH membership group we are continuing this conversation about healing mother-daughter relationships. When you join you’ll get access to a group coaching call centered on this topic, journal prompts, a private Facebook group moderated by me, and more. Join today at drjuliehanks.com/membership.

How do I combat my need for control as a mother so I don’t hinder my child’s growth? May 03, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Chelsea and address the question, “How do I combat my need for control as a mother so I don’t hinder my child’s growth?” Chelsea is considering homeschooling her son but worries that this desire comes from a place of fear and control. As we talk it becomes clear that Chelsea is struggling not with a need for control but with unresolved abuse.

I recommend that Chelsea attend therapy to help process what happened to her when she was a child. This will help her begin to approach parenting decisions out of love rather than out of fear. She also comes to see that whether her son attends public school or is homeschooled, everything will be okay.

How can I support my partner when they are going through a difficult time? Apr 26, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Ali and Andrew and address the question, “How can I support my partner when they are going through a difficult time?” Our conversation covers love languages, articulating emotional needs, tolerating others’ suffering, and more.

I advise Ali and Andrew to remember that they are individuals with unique thoughts and feelings. Sometimes in a partnership it is hard not to adopt the other person’s feelings–to have good emotional boundaries. It is important to let your partner have space for their own experiences. You can be there to comfort them, but you don’t have to “fix” them or let how they feel dictate your moods.

Why don’t I do the things I know would be good for me? Apr 19, 2022

Show notes

In this episode, I coach Felicia and address the question “Why don’t I do the things I know would be good for me?” Even though she knows self care would help her feel less stressed, she has found herself utilizing avoidance tactics to manage her feelings.

During our time together, Felicia and I discuss her current unmet needs because when parents are irritable, it’s often from a combination of high stress and low self care. I remind Felicia that taking care of herself makes her a better, healthier model of adulthood for her children. Doing what is in your best interest is in the best interest of your family!

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