Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Latest Episodes:

How can I allow myself to be vulnerable and let people help me? Apr 27, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Jenny and addresses the question, “How do I embrace vulnerability and let people help me?” We all grow up with wounds because we have human parents. When we don’t get validation for who we are, what we think, and what we feel growing up, it can show up in adulthood as not feeling good enough.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Jenny through beginning to identify where feelings of insecurity may be coming from, and how to give “little Jenny” the validation, love, and support she deserves. It’s normal to care about how other people view you or feel about you as long as it’s balanced with what you think and feel and believe about you. Other people’s opinions shouldn’t have more weight than your own.

Grieving and Healing Unmet Childhood Needs
Overcoming Insecurities
Overcoming Insecurities Free Printable Worksheet
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.
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If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

How can I get my husband to be an equal partner in household responsibilities? Apr 20, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Krista and addresses the question, “How can I create more equal roles in my home?” A common problem among couples is framing responsibility with one spouse working full-time, and the other spouse being in charge of the household tasks. The problem with this perspective is working full-time has set hours and then you’re off, but being in charge of home and family has no time off.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Krista through ways to reframe family roles to create a partnership family. We also talk about how to hold yourself accountable and how to respond when your partner does not follow through with their household tasks.
Creating Partnership Families

Creating a Partnership Marriage

How Families Can Share Household Responsibilities
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

Is my self-love turning into selfishness? Apr 13, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Kimberly Christenson, Chief Content Officer of Promptly Journals, and addresses the question, “BLANK?” Being selfish is doing what’s in your best interest without regard for others. Doing what’s in your best interest, or your families best interest with regard for others is showing self love.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Kimberly through identifying how she can do what’s in her best interest at work, while also showing regard for her co-workers. Relationships are never all about you, and they are never all about the other person. They are about the space in between. It is including caring about others in your decision to prioritize yourself that makes it not selfish.
Promptly Journals
Get 15% off when you sign up for Promptly Newsletter

Promptly on Instagram

Self-Care Helps Your Relationships

Avoiding Mormon Burnout By Saying No
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How do I help myself and my family thrive while caring for a child with mental illness? Apr 06, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Courtney Brown, Founder and CEO of Cents of Style, and addresses the question, “How do I help myself and my family thrive while caring for a mentally ill child?” Most people who have someone in their family with mental illness need to realize that we have limitations and we need more support.

Your child’s mental illness is not because of you, it’s not something that you can solve, and it’s not your fault. During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Courtney through how to respond to unsolicited advice from others, how to validate the thoughts and feelings that come with raising a child with mental illness, and ways to build in support.

Cents of Style

Cents of Style on Instagram
Courtney Brown on Instagram

Supporting a Loved One With Mental Illness

How To Support a Spouse With Mental Illness

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How can I reconcile my desire to empower women with contradictory messages from the LDS church? Mar 30, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Hannah Olson, creator of FreckledHan, and addresses the question, “How do I reconcile my call to help empower women with potentially harmful messaging from the LDS church?” What I believe is that the church is reacting against the devaluation of caregiving and they’re doing it in a less than helpful way. Caregiving is valuable work, but the way the church presents it leads to an either or.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Hannah through reframing some of the messaging the LDS church has presented about idealizing motherhood, while also valuing caregiving as a legitimate vocation and life choice for men and women. Overall, who you are and how you live is the biggest way you can make an impact, and being bold about that wherever you have a sphere of influence.

FreckledHan
FreckledHan on Instagram

Read Dr. Hanks’ popular Mormon Cultural Commentary Blog Articles

How do I maintain relationships with friends and family who have different political or religious views? Mar 23, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Amberly Lambertsen, creator of A Prioritized Marriage, and addresses the question, “How do I maintain relationships with friends and family who have different political or religious views?” A good rule of thumb is if you know a conversation is going to escalate and not be about understanding each other’s point of view, don’t engage.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Amberly through how to set boundaries when talking with family and friends who disagree, including what to do when discussions move towards personal attacks. They also discuss how to approach differences of opinion within marriage, including maintaining differentiation of self.

A Prioritized Marriage

A Prioritized Marriage on Instagram

Managing Difficult Family Relationships

Improving Family Communication

How do I set boundaries with family without feeling like a bad person? Mar 16, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Cami and addresses the question, “How Do I Express Myself Without Feeling Ungrateful?” Messages we receive as children can impact the way we interact in our relationships as adults, and being labeled “ungrateful” or “rude” when we express ourselves can create a fear of speaking up and setting boundaries.
During this episode, Dr. Hanks guides Cami through identifying where her “ungrateful” feeling is coming from and how to take care of younger Cami by setting boundaries now. They also discuss how to navigate family relationships where aggressive communication occurs, including how to implement boundaries without the need for justification or explanation.

Managing Difficult Family Relationships

Improving Family Communication
How to Be Assertive (Not Aggressive)

The Assertiveness Guide for Women

How do I not become my mother when parenting my own daughter? Mar 09, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Marie and addresses the question, “How do I not become my mother when parenting my own daughter?” Some parents worry that intera ctions and patterns they experienced from their parents will transfer to their own children. It can also be difficult for parents to set boundaries with grandparents regarding what is and is not appropriate to say or do around their grandchildren.

During this episode Dr. Hanks validates and encourages Marie, sharing that simply thinking about this issue will lower the likelihood of her passing on the things she’s concerned about. She also discusses the importance of not overcorrecting her parenting, and engaging her daughter in all aspects of family life.

Grieving and Healing Unmet Childhood Needs
When It Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love
If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com

How do I overcome perfectionism in my professional life? Mar 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Mary and addresses the question “How do I overcome perfectionism in my professional life?” Perfectionism, insecurities, and imposter syndrome can all impact our beliefs about who we are and what we can offer in our careers.
During this episode, Mary shares that many of her beliefs about the need for perfection stem from her childhood. Dr. Hanks guides Mary through a discussion about childhood expectations, how to begin working through those beliefs, as well as how to combat the pull of perfectionism in her current career.
The One Thing That’s Keeping You From Being Happy

Overcoming Insecurities
Overcoming Insecurities Free Printable Worksheet

Five Ways to Boost Your Confidence

30 Ways to Boost Confidence Free Printable

How do I bring more joy into my life during grief and life transitions? Feb 23, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Allyson Reynolds, host of The Sisterhood Podcast, and addresses the question “How do I bring more joy into my life during grief and life transitions?” Many have experienced grief and loss over the past year as a result of the pandemic, adding additional stress to life transitions such as moving and the loss of a parent.

During this episode, Dr. Hanks talks about the need for support, connection, and fun, especially during times of grief and pain. She guides Allyson through the process of reaching out to friends and family through deliberate conversations and asking for support, and provides specific ideas for incorporating fun into everyday life.
The Sisterhood Podcast on Instagram
The Sisterhood Podcast

5 Ways to Develop Resilience

Building Resilience During the Pandemic

When It Comes to Parenting, Worry is Not Love