The Way You Show Up

Latest Episodes:

How Ignoring Time Together Can Destroy Your Marriage Oct 15, 2024

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Could the secret to a thriving marriage lie in the simple act of intentionally spending time together? Join me and my husband, Rob, as we recount our own experiences of navigating the demanding world of military life while keeping our relationship a top priority. We share candid stories and insights, emphasizing the importance of consciously setting aside time for each other amidst the chaos of family and work commitments. Discover how neglecting these moments can lead to a loss of intimacy and even jeopardize family dynamics, offering a cautionary tale to those who may be caught up in the whirlwind of everyday life.
In this episode, we uncover simple yet powerful techniques for rekindling intimacy and passion through spending time with your partner. From morning coffee chats to 15-minute daily check-ins, these seemingly small gestures can make all the difference. We also discuss the balance between nurturing your relationship and spending time as a family, highlighting the need to keep these interactions separate and distinct. The message is clear: be proactive, take ownership, and prioritize these moments to ensure your marriage not only survives but thrives in the face of life's pressures. Whether you're juggling hectic schedules or just looking to strengthen your bond, tune in for practical advice and inspiration to enrich your relationship.

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Thursday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com

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Are You PROTEIN Deficient Without Even Knowing It? Oct 08, 2024

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Discover how much protein you truly need for optimal health and why animal protein is often heralded as the go-to source for essential amino acids. We'll tackle the everyday obstacles of meeting protein requirements, particularly when dining out, and share a compelling study that pits high-protein snacks against their high-fat counterparts in the battle of satiety.
Ready to transform your body composition and boost your weight loss efforts? You'll find the answers in our exploration of protein's powerful impact on fat loss and muscle development. We dissect fascinating research that highlights the benefits of a protein-rich diet, showcasing how it not only helps shed fat but also supports lean body mass retention in older adults. Practical tips on daily protein intake will guide you in achieving a higher resting metabolic rate and a more effective path to reaching your fitness goals.
Gain insights into the strategic timing and tracking of protein intake. Our discussion covers the pros and cons of varying sources like soy and meat, with a focus on the practicality of spreading protein consumption throughout the day to enhance muscle protein synthesis. We emphasize the significance of regular strength training and the mindful monitoring of dietary habits, offering a tried-and-true approach to improving your nutrition. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or just getting started, this episode provides the tools you need to optimize your diet and fuel your health journey.

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Navigating Intimacy And Passion For A More Fulfilling Marriage Oct 04, 2024

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Ever wondered why some relationships thrive in emotional closeness while others struggle to maintain even a semblance of connection? Discover the intricate dynamics of the "Triangulation of Love," where intimacy, passion, and commitment play pivotal roles. Through personal stories, we'll unravel the complexities of intimacy and how disparities between partners can lead to misunderstandings and long-term impacts, especially when one feels criticized or rejected early on. We tackle how these differences manifest across various relationships—be it romantic, familial, or platonic—and explore the underlying reasons for these gaps.
Join us for practical advice and heartfelt anecdotes aimed at nurturing intimacy and ensuring it's a reciprocal journey. We highlight the significance of recognizing when your partner might be holding back and how to gently open lines of communication. By sharing relatable scenarios, from sports rivalries to drink preferences, we encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationships and embrace open dialogue. Tune in to gain fresh perspectives on fostering deeper connections and cultivating a safe environment for emotional vulnerability.

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Accepting Each Other Changed Our Marriage COMPLETELY Oct 01, 2024

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Have you ever felt superior to your partner or viewed them through a critical lens because of their struggles? This episode could reshape your perspective. Today, I'm joined by my wonderful husband, Rob! We begin by unpacking the profound importance of true acceptance in marriages, sharing a poignant story of a friend's failing marriage to illustrate the corrosive effects of seeing a partner as "sick" or lesser. Through this narrative, we emphasize the necessity of meeting your spouse where they are and fostering a relationship built on equality and mutual respect.
Next, we delve into the insidious nature of contempt and how it can dismantle the foundation of any relationship. We'll walk you through real-life scenarios where partners viewed each other as fundamentally flawed, leading to the erosion of respect and emotional distancing. By discussing the impacts of perceived intelligence and educational disparities, we reveal how overcoming these superiority complexes can pave the way for personal growth and healthier future relationships.
Finally, we explore the bridge to full acceptance, drawing on insights from experts like Dr. Joe Beam and Dr. John Gottman. From navigating high-stress environments to rebuilding trust after deceit, we share our personal journey and highlight the gradual yet essential process of achieving mutual acceptance. We'll also touch on the critical role of intimacy in relationships, using the Triangulation of Love model to dissect how intimacy, commitment, and passion interconnect. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, we offer a roadmap to fostering a strong, enduring marriage. Join us as we share our experiences and insights to help you navigate the complexities of acceptance in your relationships.

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Is Contempt Killing Your Marriage? Sep 27, 2024

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The full episode releases on October 1st!
Does contempt silently poison your relationship? Discover how a sense of superiority and lack of respect can erode intimacy and trust in marriages. My husband, Rob, and I share powerful stories of couples who faced these challenges and transformed their relationships through acceptance and understanding. Through real-life examples, including our own early struggles with acceptance, we reveal how recognizing and embracing your partner's flaws can pave the way to a healthier, more loving connection.
Join us for a compelling discussion on the importance of seeing your spouse as an equally flawed human and the profound impact this perspective shift can have. From dealing with mental health issues to learning to cherish each other's differences, we offer valuable insights and personal anecdotes that highlight the importance of acceptance in maintaining a strong, compassionate relationship. Tune in to learn how to build a more genuine connection with your partner and heal the wounds that contempt may have caused.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Marriage Therapist Reveals How To Have More Fulfilling Sex Sep 24, 2024

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This episode was recorded in 2022.
Unlock the secrets to a more fulfilling marriage with the insights of Dr. Corey Allan, a marriage and family therapist, licensed professional counselor, and author of "Naked Marriage: Uncovering Who You Are and Who You Can Be Together." Dr. Allan shares compelling research on the impact of religiosity on marital and sexual satisfaction, revealing how higher levels of religious dogma correlate with lower sexual satisfaction. Learn why open conversations about sex—even before tying the knot—are vital for overcoming shame and guilt from upbringings, and how these dialogues can pave the way for stronger relationships.
Ever wondered why desire differences create friction in marriages? This episode sheds light on this often-taboo topic. Dr. Allan and I dig deep into how communication issues in relationships frequently extend to the bedroom, affecting both high and low desire partners. We challenge the stigma around lower desire and offer actionable strategies to better understand and respond to each other's needs. Discover how foreplay and connection can go beyond physical touch, and how reevaluating the quality of sexual experiences can help mitigate feelings of rejection and frustration.
Looking to reignite the spark in your relationship? Dr. Allan offers practical advice on rebuilding intimacy and connection through honesty, emotional regulation, and leadership. We discuss a real-life story about a couple struggling with financial transparency and emphasize the importance of self-regulation in fostering trust. Learn how introducing novelty and spontaneity can enhance sexual intimacy and why staying present and attuned to your partner can lead to more fulfilling experiences. Don't miss the exploration of personal growth within marriage, as Dr. Allan shares insights from his book and podcast, "Sexy Marriage Radio," and highlights resources available through his online practice.
Dr. Allan's site - https://smrnation.com/
Naked Marriage book - https://amzn.to/3G9mpVm
Subscribe to the Sexy Marriage Radio podcast: https://smrnation.com/subscribe/

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

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Does Your Menstrual Cycle Affect How You Work Out? Sep 20, 2024

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Can your menstrual cycle make or break your strength training progress? Today, we unlock the truth behind cycle-synced workouts and auto-regulation using the Rating of Perceived Exertion (RPE) scale. By examining how sleep, nutrition, and lifestyle intertwine with hormonal changes, we guide you on crafting a personalized fitness approach that navigates the highs and lows of your cycle. You’ll gain actionable insights on tracking your phases and adapting your workouts to maximize effectiveness and support your physical and emotional states.
We also bust myths around exercise during perimenopause and post-menopause. Discover why high-intensity and strength training are non-negotiable for combating muscle and bone loss during these life stages. We delve into strategies for balancing high-intensity workouts with recovery to stay active and healthy. By acknowledging the unique experiences of menopausal women, we present a roadmap for maintaining fitness and well-being through tailored exercise routines. Tune in for a comprehensive discussion that empowers you to embrace your body's needs at every stage of life.
Today's Guest: Dr. Alyssa Olenick
Dr. Alyssa Olenick holds a Ph.D. in Exercise Physiology is a certified sports nutritionist and Crossfit Level 2 Trainer. Alyssa completed her doctoral training in exercise and human metabolism, sex differences and menstrual cycle physiology. She is currently a postdoctoral research fellow researching the areas of menopause and metabolism. As a coach she specializes in the areas endurance, strength and hybrid training. She runs her online business ‘Doc Lyss Fitness’ and is a strength athlete, ultra-marathon runner, and all-around fitness lover who is passionate about educating people on science-based fitness to get them into the gyms and on the roads/trails — or often, doing both at the same time! You can learn more about Dr. Alyssa Olenick and her programs at www.doclyssfitness.com

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Marriage Expert Reveals What Leads To Relationship Failure Sep 17, 2024

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What drives relationships to their breaking point? In this episode, we uncover the intricate dynamics that influence the success and failure of romantic and personal connections. Discover what a 2017 study revealed about environmental stressors, trust issues, and personal challenges like depression. These critical predictors of relationship dissolution provide a comprehensive lens through which we can understand the complexities of human connections.
I bring to light the common reasons couples grow apart, such as communication breakdowns and infidelity, and explore how these issues can severely affect mental health post-breakup. You'll also learn about the lasting impact of parental divorce on future relational trust and how fostering positive relationship experiences can mitigate anxiety and avoidance behaviors.
Finally, we turn our focus to the building blocks of strong, enduring marriages. Mutual respect, compromise, and communication are essential, but how do preconceived notions about gender roles play into this? Hear real-life stories that illustrate the power of forgiveness and sensitivity in creating loving and loyal partnerships. We also emphasize the importance of commitment and respect, discussing how a strong marital foundation helps couples navigate life's challenges together. Join us as we offer valuable insights and practical advice for nurturing healthy, long-lasting relationships.
Link to our research: https://bit.ly/3B50K26
Link to the Forbes article:
⏰ Time Stamps ⏰
0:00 - Predictors of Relationship Dissolution

2:46 - Contextual and Relationship-Level Predictors

5:24 - Personal Experiences and Marriage Helper’s Teachings

7:22 - Divorce Statistics and Reasons for Divorce

9:28 - Cohabitation and Relationship Duration

12:46 - Gender Differences in Perception of Relationship Problems

15:30 - Impact of Past Experiences on Current Relationships

23:10 - Characteristics of Loving and Loyal Marriages

33:50 - Traditional and Non-Traditional Marriages

34:13 - Protective Factors of Marital Stability

36:27 - Global Perspectives on Marital Stability

37:37 - Key Takeaways and Final Thoughts

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Top Fitness Expert Reveals Best Workout Techniques for Women Sep 10, 2024

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Get ready to transform your fitness journey with insights from Dr. Alyssa Olenick, a certified sports nutritionist and exercise physiologist. Have you ever wondered how to fine-tune your workouts for maximum efficiency? In this episode, you'll uncover the secrets of zone two training, strength training, and the nuances of fasting as it relates to exercise. Dr. Olenick’s extensive research on human metabolism, especially concerning sex differences and menstrual cycle physiology, will shed light on optimizing fitness routines for both men and women.
Dr. Olenick takes us on an exploration of cardiovascular fitness and fat-burning thresholds, explaining how training zones can enhance mitochondrial efficiency and cardiovascular health. You'll also learn practical ways to incorporate zone two training into your routine without breaking the bank on fancy equipment. We discuss the 80-20 rule in endurance training and how to balance high-intensity workouts with lower-intensity sessions to achieve optimal results tailored to your fitness level.
We dive into the complexities of balancing extreme endurance training with strength training, especially if you're gearing up for an ultra marathon. Dr. Olenick shares essential tips for women on navigating training around menstrual cycles and menopause, debunking myths and emphasizing personalized approaches. Finally, we dissect the benefits and potential pitfalls of CrossFit, and discuss the intricate relationship between nutrition and fasting for women athletes. This episode is packed with expert advice that promises to elevate your fitness game.
Zones Calculator
Zones Mini-Guide

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Top Fitness Expert Reveals Zone 2 Training Secrets Sep 06, 2024

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Full Episode Releases September 10th!
Ever wondered why Zone 2 training is the secret weapon for boosting mitochondrial health and not just another buzzword in fitness? Join us as we unlock the science behind exercise intensities and navigate through the five distinct training zones. You'll discover where Zone 2 fits in—just below the first lactate threshold—keeping fat oxidation high and preventing lactate buildup. We break down how heart rate can be used as an indirect measure of these zones and emphasize the importance of understanding individual physiological differences. We also delve into how your fitness level dictates when lactate begins to accumulate, influencing the effectiveness of your workouts.
Maximizing your Zone 2 training can drastically enhance mitochondrial efficiency and build essential physiological systems. We'll reveal why lower-intensity exercise harnesses fat for energy, unlike high-intensity workouts that shift towards carbohydrates. Understand the crossover concept, where your body transitions from burning fat to carbohydrates, and get insights into sex differences in exercise. Premenopausal women, in particular, may have an edge in fat oxidation during sub-maximal exercise. We also explore the mitochondrial capacity in female training, comparing moderately trained females to their male counterparts, and discuss why training status and response are crucial for metabolic health. Don't miss out on this comprehensive guide to mastering Zone 2 training and optimizing your fitness journey.

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