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    The Savvy Sauce

    Do you want ideas for questions to deepen your conversations? Do you want to feel intimately connected to your spouse? Do you desire to parent with purpose? If so, tune in each Monday with Laura, a licensed marriage and family therapist who specialized in Christian sex therapy. She interviews the best faith-based speakers to answer our questions and doesn’t shy away from a wide range of difficult topics. Sexual intimacy is discussed once a month so that you can delight in your marital relationship, feel equipped to teach your children about sex, and learn practical ways to overcome hurt or addiction. Episodes on health and wellness cover topics of hormones and free lifestyle swaps, perimenopause, and what simple practices yield HUGE health benefits. Marital experts teach conflict resolution that actually works, parenting pros share wisdom from newborns to adult children, business leaders let us in on secrets of the trade, and the foundation of everything is Jesus Christ!  Find joy here and live on purpose as you consider, “What’s your savvy sauce?!”

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    38 Practical Steps for Discipling Our Children with Licensed Professional Counselor, Jen Rathmell Feb 04, 2019
    Show notes

    38. Practical Steps for Discipling Our Children with Licensed Professional Counselor, Jen Rathmell **Transcription Below** John 10:10 (ESV) “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” or John 14:6 (NIV) “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Jen Rathmell is a wife, mother to three, missionary, and Licensed Professional Counselor. Her family currently lives in Thailand where and she works as a school counselor at the school her children attend. At The Savvy Sauce, we only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.comand affiliated sites. Parenting by Paul David Tripp Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: This episode was made possible by an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank. They paid the sponsorship fee to help spread the word that Midwest Food Bank works to alleviate hunger and poverty throughout the world by gathering food donations and distributing them to nonprofit agencies and disaster sites. If you would like to learn more about Midwest Food Bank, make a donation, or see what volunteer opportunities are available, please visit them at MidwestFoodBank.org. Jen Rathmell is a wife, mother to three, missionary, and licensed professional counselor. Her family currently lives in Thailand, where she works as a school counselor at the school her children attend. You will quickly hear her passion for teaching as she shares practical steps for discipling our children. Here's today's chat. Hello, Jen. Jen Rathmell: Hi, thanks for having me. Laura Dugger: Yes, we're so excited to have you join us today. Let's just begin by hearing a bit of your story. Jen Rathmell: Well, it's a little bit complicated. I was born into a Christian home, pretty faithful parents, really heard the story of Jesus from a very, very early age, but kind of really had an elementary view of what that looks like and kind of thought that this was more about just being safe and secure and not going to hell. So that was the kind of beginning birthplace of my walk with Jesus, which is not a bad birthplace. It's a good birthplace. But it then evolved later into a more full understanding of what the gospel does for each of us. [00:02:07] As an early Christian, it's a lot about what we do and if we do it right or if we do it wrong, and then that kind of grows and matures into why do we do what we do? And had some really intentional mentors helping me through my high school time and began to really scratch at, what is driving you? What are your motives? And then that really begins to unpack the gospel. So very thankful for faithful parents who were faithful, teaching us the Bible, teaching us that church was really important. And then other people who came alongside of us. Thankful to youth pastors, thankful to college professors, thankful to just friends that came alongside of me. That's some of the story, the maturation of my walk with God. And now here I am, you know, it's been probably 30 years of walking with the Lord. So that's kind of where I'm at now with my own children that I'm teaching to hopefully walk with the Lord. [00:03:11] Laura Dugger: That's awesome. Just a few more details. Before we started recording, you mentioned you were born in Japan. Is that right? Jen Rathmell: Yes, my parents were teachers overseas so I lived overseas my whole growing up years till really I was 25. Then they moved back here to America. I then moved to Germany. I was kind of transient most of my life. That was a shaping influence. I had friends that moved. So while I stayed in one place kind of on a military base and my parents were teachers, a lot of my friends were transient. They moved around a lot. So I got really good at goodbyes. I got really good at hellos. I got really good at assessing whether I was willing to be friends with people, a lot of those third culture kind of kids. Now we live overseas and are missionaries, and our kids are those same people. My one child said to me, "Wow, if we're the children of third culture kids, we're really messed up." So my husband was a chaplain's kid. So he was also a pretty transient military family. [00:04:17] Laura Dugger: And your husband is Buddy, and you all have three kids. Jen Rathmell: Yeah. Laura Dugger: You said you're visiting back in America right now, but currently you're living in Thailand. Can you just tell us a bit about what you're doing over there? Jen Rathmell: We had done youth ministry overseas in Japan for 10 years. My husband is a person who wants to change the world and I'm a person who changed a few people in my life. So he is a big picture guy, I'm a small picture guy. He was very moved by atrocities of human trafficking and he went on a trip to Cambodia and began to do some work with some underprivileged people and some anti-human trafficking things. And when he came back and landed in Japan, I saw him walk off the plane and I knew I was like, "We're moving. We are moving to Thailand. I know we are." So that was the beginning. That move kind of helped facilitate us in various ways of joining the fight against human trafficking, which I mean, most of your listeners will know that that's a very prevalent problem, especially in Southeast Asia. [00:05:24] Then I began to work at my kids' school. I'm busy making sure that the family is staying reasonably upright and my husband is changing the world. Laura Dugger: Wow. And you are definitely a big part of that. Do you mind sharing the ages of your kids currently? Jen Rathmell: Totally. We now have a senior. I'm a senior mom. She's 17, our oldest. Her name is Adrienne. We have Jack, who is our sophomore. He's just turned 16, and we have a 14-year-old 9th grader. Laura Dugger: Well, our social media lead, Lauren, is the one who connected you and me, and I just asked her to describe you, and here's what Lauren had to say. "Jen is the best disciple-maker I've ever seen." How would you even define disciple maker and why is that an important goal for all of us to have? Jen Rathmell: Wow, really funny story about Lauren. I think I feel like I should tell you. She was at our house in Thailand — we met in Thailand — and we were sitting there, she was telling me all about this farm in Illinois and how they were just in Thailand for a little bit and they're going to go back and be farmers and all those kinds of things. [00:06:44] And the Lord really kind of whispered in my ear, she will be on your couch someday. And I'm a counselor. I remember that night saying to my husband, "That girl's going to be in my life someday. I just know it." And fast forward five years later, she's someone that I've got to be in a big part of her life. She is so dear to me. So I think if I was to define disciple-maker I would say that it's a person who is a teacher. Disciple means to teach basically. And discipline means the same thing. So what that would mean to me is that you are intentional about connecting and growing a person. And then we also, as people, are doing that. We're missionaries and you know, the good old missionary verse that's at the end of Matthew 28, where it's like, go into all the world and preach the gospel and make disciples. [00:07:46] And I will tell you, going to the world and preach the gospel is probably the most concentrated part of that verse. Because of course, we got to raise support. We got to get out into the world. We need to preach the gospel, because without preaching the gospel, there's really not disciple-making. But disciple-making is really kind of the end goal of all of missions, of all of our lives, of going across the street. I remember saying to my husband once, "No one will support us. No one will give money to us to make disciples, babe. Nobody will. It's just not trendy enough. It's not sexy enough. It's not saving people from child trafficking. Nobody's going to give us money to raise up and make disciples." And he was like, "Well, then we have to be faithful, because that's what Jesus says to do. So we're going to do that." So it's a calling on our lives. It's who we are. There's other people doing amazing things in other places, but we really take seriously that part of Matthew 28, where we are called to make disciples. [00:08:53] It's a slow and steady pace. It's not an easy win. It's a long haul. Laura Dugger: That's such a good definition. I even love how you said it's intentionally teaching and disciplining, which totally sounds like the definition of parenting. Jen Rathmell: Yes, it does. Laura Dugger: Now will you just share what you did through different seasons of parenting to disciple your own children? Jen Rathmell: Sure. Okay, so we have three kids. We now have a senior in high school. We have a sophomore and a freshman. At one point, they were all under 4 years old, and it was really fun for me to think through these different seasons. I really leaned heavily on Paul David Tripp and Ted Tripp and their philosophy of gospel-centered kind of parenting, so that I don't want to steal their thunder. This is really a lot of their thunder. [00:09:47] Toddlers are so unique in that, you know, as a counselor and a teacher of psychology, they have the most neurons ever in their brains, but they are everywhere and they need to learn. They need to learn to obey. That is not something that people necessarily find as an important goal. But I would say as toddlers, the most important thing we could do to teach our children was to obey. We needed them to come to us when we called them. We needed them to not delay in responding to us. We needed them to trust that there was someone who cared so deeply about them that they needed to submit to. It's not trendy, but it's important for us to tell our children, you must obey. So as they can learn that, it creates a submission to God, because ultimately we're transferring these little toddlers off to the world at some point in time. [00:10:58] So I would say that for toddlers, that is the most important intentional teaching was. You must obey and learn to submit. So that's toddlers. Grade school, things begin to move into a little bit more understanding. I think in grade school, the thing I would most encourage parents to do is to reflect the good gifts and talents that you see in your children. They're at a stage where they're starting to learn these things. They're starting to cook. They're starting to find interest in things. They're starting to feel like: I can actually press on the world and make a dent in it. There is no greater time for you to just lavish awareness in their lives. You're great at soccer. You're great at asking questions. You're great at forgiving. You're so great at being creative. We all have one child that's like this, and she's our last one. [00:12:00] And in Thailand, cheese is kind of like gold. And you buy it in this very large five pounds of cheese, and it's like $30, you know? So it's just precious. So we had this log of mozzarella cheese, and it's meant to last us for a couple months. And I come home to my third child, who's our creative genius, and she has it submerged in water. $30 is submerged in water. And I remember just being like, "I so badly just want to throw the bank account book at her." And she goes, "Mom, I know I'm figuring out how to make string cheese because I miss those little string cheeses from America." Because this mozzarella doesn't really do that, right? So she goes, "No, I'm just going to kind of melt it all down, and then I'm going to roll it." Of course, none of this is going to happen. And I know this is not going to happen. And I remembered that God gave me the strength to just look at her and say,…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    37 Being Intentional with Marriage, Parenting, Rest, Personal Development, and Leadership with Pastor, Podcaster, and Author, Jeff Henderson Jan 28, 2019
    Show notes

    37. Being Intentional with Marriage, Parenting, Rest, Personal Development, and Leadership with Pastor, Podcaster, and Author, Jeff Henderson **Transcription Below** Matthew 6:33 (KJV) “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Jeff Henderson is an entrepreneur, speaker, pastor and business leader. For the past 15 years, he has helped lead two of North Point Ministries multi-site locations in Atlanta, Georgia - Buckhead Church and Gwinnett Church. He also helped launch North Point Online which now reaches over 200,000 people. He is the founder of several organizations including Champion Tribes, a rite-of passage experience for fathers with middle school sons; Preaching Rocket, an online coaching program with over 20,000 participants; Launch Youniversity, a podcast for entrepreneurs; and the FOR Company, helping businesses and non-profit organizations grow. Jeff was recently named by Forbes Magazine as one of the 20 speakers you shouldn’t miss. Prior to working as a pastor, Jeff started his career in marketing with the Atlanta Braves, Callaway Gardens, Lake Lanier Islands and Chick-fil-A Inc., where he led the company’s regional and beverage marketing strategies. Jeff and his wife Wendy have been married 22 years and have a daughter, Jesse, and a son, Cole. At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Jeff’s Website Champion Tribes Launch Youniversity Gwinnett Church Connect with Jeff on Instagram @jefferyhenderson or @gwinnettchurch Look for Jeff’s upcoming book release on Oct 1st (FOR: How 2 questions can grow your business and change your life) Jeff’s Recommended Book List: Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard Jeff’s Notes on Good Reads Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:19] <music> Laura Dugger: This episode was made possible by an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank. They paid the sponsorship fee to help spread the word that Midwest Food Bank works to alleviate hunger and poverty throughout the world by gathering food donations and distributing them to nonprofit agencies and disaster sites. If you would like to learn more about Midwest Food Bank, make a donation, or see what volunteer opportunities are available, please visit them at MidwestFoodBank.org. Today I have a very special guest to share with you. Jeff Henderson is a pastor, podcaster, and author who lives near Atlanta, Georgia. Jeff was recently named by Forbes magazine as one of the 20 speakers you shouldn't miss. When my husband and I lived in Atlanta, Jeff was our campus pastor at one of Andy Stanley's satellite locations. There were thousands who regularly attended Jeff's campus each week, yet when I was baptized there, I received a handwritten letter from Jeff in the mail. That is a small example of the intentional and thoughtful leader Jeff is. Today he's going to share how he lives intentionally. Here's our chat. [00:01:37] Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Jeff! Jeff Henderson: Laura, it's great to be with you. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for letting me invade The Savvy Sauce. I love it. Jeff Henderson: Well, we're so glad to welcome you. Many people already know who you are, but for any of the listeners who are unfamiliar with you, can you just share a bit about your story? Jeff Henderson: Sure. I'm the lead pastor at Gwinnett Church, which is part of North Point Ministries. We started Gwinnett Church seven years ago. And Gwinnett's a suburb of Atlanta, so I've lived here most of my life. My wife and I went to high school in Gwinnett, so we're pretty boring. We haven't really strayed far from home. But before that, I was the lead pastor at Buckhead Church, which is North Point Ministries' first multi-site campus. And this is where you and I have some similarities, Laura. Before that I worked in marketing at Chick-fil-A, so I spent a number of years in marketing. My wife, Wendy, and I have been married for 22 years. We have a college sophomore, Jesse. She's nineteen and a high school junior. Cole, he's 17. They're very involved here at church. My father-in-law asked my son how church was going, and he said, well, Mom's in guest services, Jesse works in elementary school ministry, I work in high school ministry, and Dad does nothing. So that was his perspective of kind of my job here at the church. [00:02:52] So they helped us start the church, and it's been fun. But that's a little bit of the Henderson story. Laura Dugger: That's incredible. Even that brief little introduction and then hearing you speak in the past, it just seems like you are such an intentional family man. So, first, how do you keep your marriage a high priority in your life? Jeff Henderson: It's something I saw modeled for me, and Wendy saw this modeled for her as well. We have a lot of younger couples that we're mentoring now, and we just kind of laugh and say, You know what, we really don't have any excuse. We really saw marriage modeled really, really well. For me as a preacher's kid, I saw this. I worked in church for a number of years, but he did everything from Wednesday night service to Sunday morning, Sunday night hospital visits, care ministry, fundraiser, all that kind of stuff. But he never let that overcome his most important role as being the husband to my mom and our dad. [00:03:46] I'm often reminded by a mentor of mine, John Woodall, will call me very frequently at the end of the day and say, "You're actually headed home to your most important ministry. You're not leaving your most important ministry. You're headed home to your most important ministry, which is to be the husband of Wendy and the father of Jesse and Cole." My friend and boss, Andy Stanley, says, "Hey, there's always going to be another pastor of Gwinnett Church. There's always going to be another pastor or another this person or Chick-fil-A operator, but there's only going to be the first husband to Wendy and the father to Jesse and Cole." So those roles are my most important ministry. I think the scriptures are really clear for husbands that we're charged to love our wives like Christ loved the church. That's the highest calling. We'll never get there, but that's the goal. That's the aim. So as a result of that, I can't let my ministry or work here overshadow my ministry as Wendy's husband and Jesse's and Cole's dad. So I never want to lose sight of that. Because at some point, I will no longer be here at Gwinnett Church, but I'll hopefully have their respect. My friend Mark Batterson says this, "I want to be famous in my home." That's where I want to be famous. [00:04:56] Laura Dugger: Oh, I love that quote. That's so good. You and your wife, Wendy, do seem to care so much about parenting. Did you have any certain goals that you aspired to achieve as you raised your children? Jeff Henderson: Ultimately, we wanted our kids to know Jesus, and we wanted to model that. That was goal number one. We also were very, I think, clear that our marriage and our family really are number one. Now, it's easy to say that, and it's hard to do. And there are seasons that it's just incredibly difficult. It doesn't mean that there aren't seasons where, you know what, you're at work more than maybe you're at home. But for us, one of our tactical things that would allow us to know whether we're trending a little bit more toward the busyness of life and not focus on our family is if we went three or four nights without having dinner together. I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm just saying for us, that was a warning light on the dashboard of our family going, you know what, we haven't had dinner together in four nights. And just that awareness... I know a lot of people travel. When I worked at Chick-fil-A, I traveled quite a bit. So I totally understand that world. So it may be something different. But for us, it was, you know what, we haven't had dinner together. So those times we're just really, really important. So we fought for quality time and we fought for quantity time. [00:06:15] Then we would make some decisions to go, you know what? There are some decisions we're going to make financially right now in this season that probably not great financially because we're going to sacrifice some money. But in order to sacrifice that money, what we're doing is we're actually building time with our family. So if you've got young kids, I would really encourage you to ask the question, What are you willing to sacrifice? And for us there were times where Wendy and I were willing to sacrifice financial opportunities but we weren't willing to long term sacrifice time with our family. So what are you willing to sacrifice as a family is a really important question to ask. So Wendy and I try to be on board with the answer to that question. And ultimately, at the end of the day, we were not willing to sacrifice consistent family time. Now, we're almost anti-nesters, so that's going to change now. And we're able to do a lot more now, and we're able to go and travel and do some things that we weren't able to do in those younger years. So I think that's a good question. What are you willing to sacrifice as a family? [00:07:20] So for us, that was in those early days that helped kind of steer and guide us to where we are today. Laura Dugger: You said you're almost empty nesters. As you reflect back on that time, were there any seasons either with your kids' stages or with you or your wife for work that were especially hard to fight for family time? Jeff Henderson: Yes. I would say seven years ago when we launched Gwinnett Church. Anytime you launch something... and I'm a starter. I like starting things, Laura. That's just kind of who I am. Starting Gwinnett Church was a difficult season because we went through a season where we just went through a lot of tragedy. My dad passed away. We had a five-year-old son of a staff person die of cancer. We had two of our staff members were hit by a drunk driver, one was killed. And then we had an intern two months after that, he was killed in just one car accident. So we went two months there was just this tragedy after tragedy and it just wrecked us from a grief standpoint. [00:08:24] But at the same time you're like, Hey, God's with us, and God's doing great thing, and then you're walking through this middle of tragedy. So it was really hard on our family emotionally. Then you've got all this pressure of trying to raise money and where we're going to meet and set up and tear down. And if you've got any listeners out there that are in portable churches, you totally understand that and you have my immense respect. So it was just really, really hard for us emotionally. But fortunately for us we have a group of people, you know, a small group around us, mentors, advisors that were really pouring into us and helped us get through that time. But those years were really, really tough. Laura Dugger: No[00:09:04] Jeff Henderson: No. Everybody grieves differently and grief is a really odd thing in the sense that... Like when my dad passed away, you're like, Okay, Father's Day's coming, Father's Day coming, and you kind of build yourself up emotionally and you kind of get through Father's Day. But then you're watching a television commercial that comes out of nowhere and just kind of wrecks you, you know? So you try to plan and prepare for grief. I would say the most difficult thing was grieving and then also planting a church. Because you kinda have to have this positivity and enthusiasm while privately and personally you're really struggling because you've lost your hero, you've lost a staff person who was not only close to our staff, Celeste was a mentor to my…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    36 Gender Differences and Common Relationship Conflict with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Jan 21, 2019
    Show notes

    DISCLAIMER: This message contains some adult themes and is not recommended for little ears 36. Gender Differences and Common Conflict in Relationships with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George **Transcription Below** Philippians 2:4 NIV “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Vickie L. George, M.Ed., M.S., LMFT, LPC, CST is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Therapist, and is an AAMFT Approved Supervisor, an Approved Clinical Supervisor (ACS) by CCE of the NBCC, and a Certified Professional Counselor Supervisor (CPCS) by the State of Georgia. She has a Master’s degree in counseling from Georgia State University, a Master’s degree in Christian Psychological Integration with a specialization in Sex Therapy from Richmont Graduate University (formerly the Psychological Studies Institute), and also has completed post-graduate work in marriage and family therapy training at the University of Georgia and training in supervision. Vickie has been counseling, teaching and consulting with several organizations since opening her practice in 1984. During her 30 plus years, she has gained extensive experience as she has helped clients work through difficult issues such as couple problems, sexual problems, addiction, abuse, women's issues, and examining spiritual issues. At The Savvy Sauce, we only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Vickie’s Website For Men Only and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn Thank You to Our Sponsor: Chick-fil-A East Peoria Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message. Today's message is brought to you by Chick-fil-A East Peoria. Stay tuned for insider tips we're going to share during the episode. We have appreciated all your positive feedback, especially on these episodes where we've featured various Christian sex therapists. We're going to do our best to keep interviewing more experts in this field. So definitely reach out to us if you have a particular person or topic in mind that you want to hear covered at The Savvy Sauce. Our general email address is the best place to reach us, and it's simply info@thesavvysauce.com. Due to the popularity of all those previous episodes, we are bringing on another Christian sex therapist today, Vickie George. I had the privilege of being supervised by Vickie while I was studying marriage and family therapy. Today the two of us are going to be discussing how to understand each gender a little bit better to enhance our enjoyment of the special relationships in our lives. [00:01:32] I am so very happy to get to share her with you today. Hello, Vickie. Vickie George: Hi, Laura. Laura Dugger: So glad to have you. It's great to join you today in your cozy office as we record near Atlanta, Georgia. Can you just start us off by giving us a brief snapshot of your life? Vickie George: Well, I was born a missionary kid for two years, my parents in Italy. But my father was in the ministry, worked with Billy Graham Association and also the Navigators. So, in essence, in many ways, I'm a preacher's kid. I was kind of called and felt the desire to be a therapist even at 13 years of age. So, I took everything in high school and college, and grad school that I could, and I've been a therapist for 35 years. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, licensed professional counselor, and also, a certified sex therapist, which I adore being all of the above. Laura Dugger: And you are phenomenal at those. During my time in Atlanta, I very much enjoyed you as one of my supervisors. [00:02:39] So, I've always appreciated our special relationship. Vickie George: Well, good, because that is also one of the things that I am as a supervisor, and it's 30% of my practice. I adore being a supervisor and mentoring the next generation of therapists, marriage and family therapists, sex therapists, because there's such a great need for that across all ages, cultures, socioeconomic status in our country. Laura Dugger: You have a unique perspective. Do you mind just sharing ways that your faith intersects with your work? Vickie George: Well, I went to an integrative program for graduate school and so essentially have a degree in both psychology, counseling, and also in theology. So the marriage of those two together is my background. And that is what I bring into the counseling room, either directly or indirectly, depending on what my clients' needs are, what their desires are, how much they want that to be a part of it. [00:03:43] So if they need me to not talk about that, I can. And if they are needing the biblical counselor who can back up everything with what I'm saying, from scripture and biblical principles, I can do that too. And I can do it indirectly in the gospel, paraphrased according to Vickie George, to bring it into the room if I need to. Laura Dugger: Brings a lot of clarity. You often see a lot of males in your practice, and it seems that they feel safe opening up to you. Why do you think that is? Vickie George: I have always gotten along really well with males. My personality lends itself to quote-unquote some more traditionally male characteristics than just female. And so I think that also that I was gifted in that way besides my personality which of course we have from birth, so I'm claiming that fully. [00:04:42] My husband was a cop and also an athlete so I learned about men firsthand and from man's man. And just so often in our society now, it's troublesome being a male because we have swung as we've needed to from it was such a patriarchal society and allowing now for understanding more about women, etc., which is great and we've needed it. Well, anytime you swing from one extreme to the other, because that's how change takes place, then males have kind of gotten a bum rap and not understood. Everybody's trying to understand women, which we need, of course, but they have not really tried to understand males and where do they come from, what makes them tick, et cetera. So I wanted to know about that because I wanted to understand 50% of the population, especially that came into my practice, and so that I could connect with them and they would feel comfortable being in counseling, which is a hard gig for men anyway. The fact that they would feel understood by a female counselor was one of my goals, and I was on mission to make sure I learned how to do that well. [00:06:08] Laura Dugger: Love it. How did you learn how to do that well? Vickie George: I started doing research and trying to get inside their minds and what is important to them and what's not and just the things that were so surprising that women do not think about or know. For instance, for males who want to take care of their family, especially financially, money is always running in the background. Always. Always. And so they will work more, especially as their family may grow, which then the wife so often, especially if she doesn't work outside the home, gets really frustrated because "you don't spend time with the family. We want you to be here more." Well, what he's doing is working more and harder so he can be providing for the family. So that is his way of trying to do family better that's misunderstood so often. That's just one example. [00:07:08] Another thing is that for most men, they view the family and their relationships as important, but work will be number one, because they are the ones who feel that responsibility for the most part. Now, I'm making some generalizations, of course. And then relationships will be second. Well, so often what we find in the way women are hardwired is that they will be first relationship and if they work outside the home, then that is going to be secondary to them. It's a part of who they are. It's not the whole of who they are. Well, if you think about that, work is number one and relationships are number two for men. For women, so often relationships are one and work would be second. But the thing here is we're not so far apart because they're still in the top two. Laura Dugger: And so maybe we have more in common than we would think. Vickie George: Yes. Yes, we do. And so the more that you try to understand, seek first to understand and then be understood. That's the way. [00:08:17] Getting inside what makes your spouse tick. And what is important to them? What do they value? Because, of course, 70% of the fights that couples have are usually the same ones over and over again. And that's because we're dealing with gender differences, personality style differences, and values differences. Values, for most couples, their morals are generally along the same line. And values can be, too. But, for instance, My husband valued baseball way more than I did, okay? So, once again, even if it's a value of what a hobby may be or something along that line, it's not a bad thing or a wrong thing. It's just what did they value more? For instance, a lot of males will value sports more than what a woman would. Laura Dugger: So taking that example, if that is a fight that you see in your office where the husband values sports a lot more and the wife doesn't as much, how do you begin to work with that to get them to celebrate that difference rather than resent it? [00:09:30] Vickie George: That's a good word of "how do we celebrate?". And I just say, viva la difference, because we complement each other. If we view the differences as a way to make a great team and to utilize those strengths or differences, etc. Like in a work setting, what makes a good team is not everybody being homogeneous. It's that they have different talents and so that makes up a good team in the business world. Anybody knows that in the business world. So why would marriage be any different? And the fact that God created it that way. Sometimes people will say, well, it feels like God's cruel joke. Well, it's not. It is a way to complement us and to grow us and mature us and to make us better people. Laura Dugger: You even mentioned that some of your personality traits you relate more masculine side. Could you share a few ways? Because maybe some people listening today are relating to that. [00:10:30] Vickie George: Generally speaking, males will be more direct in how they approach things and women a little more indirect. And that comes in many varieties in how they approach life. I am a very much more of an involved therapist and pretty direct. I work a lot with highly conflictual couples. I work a lot with addiction. So those populations require more of a directness and involvement with them, and so that traditionally is more male. Women will be a little more soft-peddled in how they may come across about something. If you are watching a group of men, they can be pretty direct and gruff about how something is. Women in a group will not be that direct or gruff. Laura Dugger: Okay. You also mentioned when you wanted to understand males more, you did some research. [00:11:39] Do you have any books that you would recommend or anything that helped you get inside their minds? Vickie George: Yes. Shaunti Feldhahn did a great book for both men and women. For instance, men are more visual. One of the stories she said that a man may notice a female in Home Depot, but even if they only saw her a split second, she still may be in his mind because he knows she's still in the store. Okay, well that does not register with a woman at all. That is literally a brain difference, gender difference between men and women. So women do not understand in our culture that is so sexually saturated the complete 24-7 assault on males with visual images that they have to fight. It's on every billboard, one click on your computer, with porn, etc. So, you know, the everyman's battle, there is truth to that. And women do not understand the nature of how impactfu…

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    35 Taking a Step Toward Your Goal, Dream, or Idea in 2019 with Podcaster and Author, Sarah Bragg Jan 14, 2019
    Show notes

    35. Taking a Step Toward Your Goal, Dream, or Idea in 2019 with Podcaster and Author, Sarah Bragg **Transcription Below** Do you have an idea, business, or project you want to launch this year? Is fear or doubt holding you back? Sarah shares her launch story and offers tips for you to move forward with your own dream in 2019. And if you have ever wanted to start your own podcast, this is the episode that will give you a jump start on that goal! Scripture: Genesis 1:27 NIV “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Surviving Sarah Podcast Sarah’s Book Are My Kids On Track Podcast Want to learn more about the enneagram? The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile Off Camera with Sam Jones The Next Best Thing with Emily P Freeman Dais with Rachel Hollis Guide to Start and Grow Your Podcast Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: Are you aware of our newly launched Patreon? If you want an opportunity to access additional podcasts and other freebies, please check out our website, thesavvysauce.com, and click on our "Patreon" tab. For as little as $2 per month, you can unlock some of these freebies as you support our work at The Savvy Sauce. If you want to keep listening for free, we totally understand, and we simply ask that you share this episode with a friend. It should take you less than 10 seconds. And this grassroots approach is the best way to spread The Savvy Sauce throughout the world. Each one of you plays an important part. Thanks for participating. Today's episode is brought to you by one of my favorite brands in Central Illinois, Leman Property Management. With over 1,600 apartment homes in all price ranges throughout Morton, Pekin, Peoria, Washington, and Canton, they can find the perfect spot for you. Check them out at MidwestShelters.com or like them on Facebook by searching Leman, L-E-M-A-N, Property Management Company. Thanks for sponsoring today's episode. [00:01:31] Today I'm excited to interview Sarah Bragg. Sarah is an author and podcaster based in Atlanta, Georgia. Her podcast is called Surviving Sarah. If you've ever wanted to start your own podcast, today is the episode you can't miss. We will go over many practical tips for how to get started. Here's our chat. Hi, Sarah. Sarah Bragg: Hi there. Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce. Thanks for coming on today. Sarah Bragg: I'm so excited to get to hang out. Laura Dugger: Well, let's just start off. Can you tell all of us briefly a little bit about yourself? Sarah Bragg: Yes. I will try to do that in a little snapshot here. So I am turning 40 this year, which I still can't believe. I still feel like I'm like, aren't I just like 23? Isn't that true? So I'm turning 40 and I've been married to Scott for... I guess we're celebrating 13 years this year. I have two girls. Sinclair is in fourth grade, she's about to be ten and Rory is in second grade. So she's gonna be eight. [00:02:39] I'm the only one who like rounds up. I start rounding up ages about ten months before I actually turn that time. I'm like telling my youngest attorney, I mean, she still has like six months to go, I need to slow down, she's seven. So we'll make myself slow down here. But anyways, currently I am a podcaster and I am a writer and a communicator and host and I've always had a heart for ministry, ministering to women specifically. I can remember... I just shared this with some friends last week. I can remember being... I guess I was 20. I don't think I was even 21 yet. And I was at this leadership kind of thing for this internship I was doing and they had us write a purpose statement. And at the time I wrote to inspire, encourage and serve women for the glory of God. I just love that because I was 20 years old. At that time, my emphasis was working with young women, so middle school girls and high school girls, people that were just one step behind me. And I just love that 20 years later that is still the heart of what I'm doing. [00:03:42] And so I have a history of just working in ministry. I worked in full-time ministry for almost a decade — that was student ministry — and then I've been working for a non-profit organization called Orange off and on for the last 12 years, just helping to create resources for churches to use to help them partner better with parents and to reach the next generation. That's kind of a snapshot. I'm an author. I wrote a book forever ago. I always laugh. I was like 27 when it came out, but it's called Body. Beauty. Boys: The Truth about Girls and How We See Ourselves. Again, it's that heart for ministry for those young girls. I just thought if they could understand what I know now, what I wish I had known then, and that's really what that is my story of body image and learning how to find contentment and who God created me to be. The podcast is called Surviving Sarah, and it has been around for just over two years and it is just the most fun thing. It is so fun to get to sit down with women and men, I have been on the show too, and have conversations with people to get to hear their story and how they're contributing to the world and just really get to be a megaphone for who they are and get to cheer for them. And so that's been a really great highlight of what God has kind of pushed me in the last couple of years. [00:04:55] Laura Dugger: I love that because it sounds like even as young as age 20, He planted this seed. And now He's being faithful to carry on to completion what he's put in your heart. Sarah Bragg: Yes. And you know what? It's so funny. I was telling someone the other day how my dream job when I was that age, when I was in college, like graduating college, was to be the co-host with Regis Philbin. He was going to be like, Live with Regis and Sarah. That's what I wanted. So it's so fun to go, Oh, this is like... I'm hosting. I get to host a show now. And sure, I don't have Regis by my side, which would be very fun, but it's that same dream of what I was dreaming then, I'm getting to do that now. so that's been really fun. Laura Dugger: You mentioned a few of them, but you've accomplished some amazing goals. You've completed seminary, written a book, launched a podcast. So is all of that typical of your personality type or did you have to overcome some obstacles? [00:05:49] Sarah Bragg: You know, it's funny, I don't think I would have said it's my personality type when I was younger. I don't know if I even knew that about me. I wasn't a driven kid. My mom would say I was the most easy-going child. She's like, "Bringing you home from the hospital was like bringing groceries home. You were just easygoing I could leave you anywhere., I could put you in anyone's arms and walk away and you're like, 'Okay, see you later.'" So easygoing. But something I feel in me as I grew older this drive really kind of appeared. I think that it was one of those things where I love ideas, I have ideas all the time, but I still would have never thought of myself as an idea person. So I feel like there has been something in me that has this drive or this... I do have a fear of failure, but at the same time, when I feel like, no, this is what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I have a very strong confidence about what I'm supposed to do. And I think it's confidence in God and confidence in what He is pushing me towards, even if I don't totally feel I know what I'm doing. Even with ministry, my first job was actually at a minor league baseball team. [00:06:58] That's where I began my whole career. I thought I wanted to work in baseball, but I think I just probably wanted to marry a baseball player, if I was being real honest. My first job in ministry was in California, and I was living in Tennessee at the time, and I didn't blink an eye at that. I was like, "Yes, let's go to California. Let's do this." So I feel like I have always kind of, maybe as a young adult and leaning in, I have definitely always had this sense of "What's next?" It can be a bad thing, but it can also be a great thing. It pushes me forward to try things and to do something new. I think I love meeting new people and so all of those kind of things always open themselves up to being with people. I think that's part of who I am as well. Laura Dugger: That's so cool. And then unpacking your personality a little bit. I've heard on your podcast, you've said you're an Enneagram 3. Is that right? Sarah Bragg: Yes. Laura Dugger: Well, let's totally just take a rabbit trail. How did you discover that was your number? Did you take the paid test? Sarah Bragg: I took a free test online. It was going around our office. We were all talking about it. And I was like, Okay, I'm fascinated by all that kind of stuff. And so I took it and then I just like, Oh, three with a two. That's when it first came back. And I was like, Oh, whatever. Like I didn't even look into it. Then the more I started looking at it, I was like, "Oh, this is kind of depressing. I need to feel valued and I need to feel loved." And I was like, "Oh, this doesn't sound very good." Like I was kind of like, Ah. Then the more I started reading into it, I got The Road Back to You by Suzanne Stabile and Ian. I can't remember Ian's last name. But I read that and I started reading online and it was those things where you're going, Oh gosh, someone has been spying on the corners and the insides and the cobwebs of my brain and they wrote it in a book. And I don't know how they did that. The more I kind of researched and learned... like Suzanne Stabile was on the show and she really kind of unpacked, you know, what each number was and did kind of this big overview of it all. I think I'm probably a three with a four rather than a two I think in the state of life I am in, where I'm a mom and I feel like you kind of have to be a helper a lot, but that's not generally who I am as a whole. [00:09:23] If you look back on years past, there's a lot more of that creative kind of brain. And it's funny because I can't remember now what the four is called. Five is the investigator. I can't remember what the four is. But anyways, it's one of those where they value authenticity and they value being real but then I'm a three who is playing this game of like, who do I need to be in order to be valued by this group of people? So I always feel like the four in me is prosecuting the three in me of going, "Oh, you're not really you. That's not who you are. This isn't..." You know, and it's like this crazy... I'm like, I feel like I'm going to be checked into a mental home at some point for my personalities. But it has been fascinating. It's been really helpful to learn who my husband is. He is a five. And it's been helpful to just kind of be able to understand him and things that... What a lot of times frustrate me, like, why don't you have enough energy to go and do this? Why can't we have people over every weekend? You know, why can't we do that? And it's going, Oh, this is who he is, and this is how he operates and sees the world. And this is what he gains from this and this is what he loses and all of this. So then it helps me to have a little bit more grace for who he is and how he operates of going, This is just how he is wired. This is not a bad wiring. This is good wiring. And if I can understand that, then I can offer him a whole lot more grace for who he is. [00:10:41] Laura Dugger: You've said before that you've been through seasons of finding your voice, then losing it and finding it again. Can you elaborate on…

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    34 Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Jan 07, 2019
    Show notes

    *DISCLAIMER* This message is intended for adult listeners. 34: Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter **Transcription Below** We are SO excited to share this episode with you to help you feel equipped with scripts to use as you have ongoing conversations with your kids about sex as God intends. We cover specific conversations to have with kids of all ages, from birth to adulthood. You don't want to miss it! Genesis 1:26 (KJV) “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.” Brian and Alison Sutter have been married for 12 years and have three kids, ages 6, 5, and 2. Brian is a licensed professional counselor at Apostolic Christian Counseling and Family Services and Alison is the founder and designer for Fae & Monroe. Together, they speak at conferences across the midwest on topics related to marriage and family. At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in. We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. God’s Design for Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones Dannah Gresh Secret Keeper Book and Website Passport to Purity Apostolic Christian Counseling and Family Services Fae & Monroe Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message. I want to say thank you to Leman Property Management for being such a loyal sponsor of The Savvy Sauce. They're located in central Illinois. With over 1,600 apartment homes in all price ranges, they have listings throughout Morton, Pekin, Peoria, Washington, and Canton. They can find the perfect spot for you. Check them out today at MidwestShelters.com, or like them on Facebook by searching Leman, L-E-M-A-N, Property Management Company. We'll make sure and put a link in our show notes. Thanks again for the sponsorship. Brian and Alison Suter are dear friends of ours. I met both of them in junior high through our church connection. And when my husband and I moved back to Illinois, it was so fun to get to reconnect with them as adults in a similar stage of life. [00:01:21] Brian is a licensed professional counselor at Apostolic Christian Counseling and Family Services and Alison is the founder and designer behind Fae & Monroe. They have three great kids, and they are often asked to speak about marriage and parenting at conferences around the Midwest. It's an honor to host them today. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, friends. Brian Sutter: Hi, Laura. Great to be with you here. Alison Sutter: We're so honored to be a part of this podcast. Laura Dugger: Well, why don't you guys just first tell everybody a little bit about yourselves. Brian Sutter: Well, Brian here. Father, husband, and a counselor. That's what I do most of my day. I met my lovely wife here, Alison, in college. Alison Sutter: We've been married for 12 years now, and we have three kids. Kennedy is our daughter. She's six. Cash is our son, and he's five. And Ivy is our spunky little two-year-old. Brian Sutter: Yep, she brings a lot of life to the home. Laura Dugger: Well, Brian, you work with a lot of children in the private practice that you're a part of. What are some common themes that are coming up in your sessions? [00:02:28] Brian Sutter: You know, just depending on what's going on. But I think one of the things that we see more and more of is just anxiety. With the pressures and things that come along with social media, it's so easy to compare, and for a lot of kids, it creates a lot of anxiety. I would say that's a big focus or a big thing that we're seeing more and more of today. Laura Dugger: So if you could give all of your clients a voice, what do you think that they're desiring from their parents? Brian Sutter: A lot of them long for just a place to feel heard and understood and supported, this safe place where they can just be. And I think with parents, I wouldn't say that doesn't mean you can't have any expectations. But in that, how to navigate that place that there's expectations, but love isn't conditional in the midst of those expectations. Laura Dugger: And what does that look like, the difference between conditional or unconditional love from a parent? Brian Sutter: Well, I think just that continual message that says, I'm here for you and I care about you, and that's not dependent on the grades that you bring home. It's not dependent on your behavior that maybe I like or don't like. [00:03:34] Accidentally, we can give a lot of messages that say, as long as you make me happy, then I'm okay with you, when you don't make me happy, then I'm not okay with you. So that piece of just saying, I'm here, you have my love and support no matter what, and there are expectations I want to challenge you to move into. Laura Dugger: And with that anxiety, is there a specific age that's really struggling with this? Brian Sutter: I wouldn't say so. I think, in general, that's just more and more we see that across the age range. And depression, too. Those things are just seeing a lot of that. Now, whether that's because more people are aware of it and they're reporting it more, or there's actually more of it. There's a fair amount of, you know, arguing over those sorts of things. But there's a lot of it, and it's certainly on the rise. Alison Sutter: But even us with a toddler, I find myself responding to her behavior. With, Ivy, you did a great job cleaning up your toys. I love you so much. And I tend to attach 'I love you' to the end of positive reinforcement. [00:04:35] I think that is just a building block to teaching your kids that your love can be conditional. And I've really tried to make an effort to also attach that to the end of "Ivy, you shouldn't have treated your brother like that. I love you and I want you to learn a different way to treat your brother." So to just be conscious of how that can naturally become a part of our language, telling them, even though we don't mean to, that our love is attached to their behavior. Laura Dugger: That helps even just to have an example of a script that we can use as parents. For all the parents that want to do their part to set their kids up well, what advice do you have for them? I Brian Sutter: I think one of the things that can be very difficult for parents in our day and age is to let our kids fail. Right? One of the skills I really try to encourage parents to give their kids is the ability to fail well. Like, too often, I think our goal becomes, how do we keep them from hard things? But rather, I think we want to train them to work through hard things. That's going to give them the skills, whether we're talking about anxiety or depression or their friend's done something mean or whatever it would be, how do we help them learn how to walk through hard things rather than set them up for, how do I avoid hard things? [00:05:52] Laura Dugger: Do you have any kind of stories or examples to illustrate what that might look like? Brian Sutter: One thing that comes to mind, even just in my own experience growing up, that I look back on and I think, what in the world were my parents thinking, right? My brother and I, we were like 12 and 13 and we're walking through... there's like Bass Pro or something like that. And we just had to have this little boat, this two-seater boat. We had it. We had a perfectly good John boat at home, but we thought we just had to have this. And it was like 400 bucks. So for a 12-year-old boy, that's a lot of money. And for some odd reason, Mom and Dad let us buy that. A few years later, it was just destroyed. We didn't take care of it. It actually ended up down the Mississippi. But looking back on that, I think it taught me that through that failure, through that poor mistake that my dad let me make, it was really unwise. And I learned that through experiencing it rather than him protecting me from making that poor decision. Laura Dugger: That makes sense. Even financially, that was a $400 mistake instead of a $40,000 mistake. [00:06:56] Brian Sutter: Exactly. And as we age and move forward through life, the stakes get higher and higher and higher. Like you're talking about, a $400 mistake at 12 turns into a $40,000 mistake when you're talking about college or a house and so on. Laura Dugger: Well, let's just get more specific and dive into a topic that makes most parents a little bit nervous, which is talking to your kids about sex. Are there any basic "shoulds" or "should nots" that we need to be aware of? Brian Sutter: One of the things you might think about is just to visualize this table. There's different seats around this table, and those seats are ministering into your child's heart. You get to pick who is going to sit in some of those seats and some of those seats you don't get to pick. So let's say there's 12 seats. You want to sit in the seat that's there for you. So that's the "should". Like if you're talking about ministering or speaking into this area of sexuality that's so important, take your seat at the table. Sit down and speak truth into their heart. [00:07:58] And make sure that this seat over here that you find a mentor for church that you respect that's going to be able to speak into their heart. And surround peers into their lives that you know are growing up with the same sort of values and expectations that you're trying to speak into their heart. Don't try to take away the seats or control the seats that you can't fully control. Like there's going to be things in society that you can't control. You don't get to remove that seat, but you want to join that seat so you can speak into whether it's lies or truths that are coming from that. So at a high level, just to keep that in mind, there's a seat for you at the table. Sit down and speak into their hearts, even on topics that are really scary like this one. Alison Sutter: I think it's easy for us to say out loud... of course, it's important that we're speaking to our kids about this topic, of course, it's something that I want to have a role in. But when the time comes and you're kind of caught off guard by this question that your child has or you find them doing something and your first reaction tends to be really awkward, and you don't know what to say, and you get nervous, and you tend to avoid it. Or maybe that's just me. [00:09:08] But it's really easy in the moment to say, Oh, it's too soon to talk about this. We'll talk about this when you're 13, or we're going to ask your dad when he gets home, or just to brush it off. What that is actually speaking to your child is there's a wall between you and me in this conversation. Then if that child has a question for you they're going to see that wall. "The last time mom reacted really oddly and she actually didn't want to talk about it. So maybe I should ask my friend at school instead, who seems more than willing to talk about it." So just to recognize that every time you engage your child, you're telling them that this conversation is open, that I'm willing to hear all of your questions. I'm not going to run away from your questions, even when I don't have good answers. So just be willing to sit in those awkward spots in conversations. Laura Dugger: What I think I hear you saying is that even if you don't have the right answer, it's better as a parent to engage in that instead of avoiding it. [00:10:08] Alison Sutter: Yes, just to let your child know that you're willing to discuss it. I think it's so healthy for your child…

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    33 Pursuing Health in the New Year with Functional Medicine Expert, Dr. Jill Carnahan Dec 31, 2018
    Show notes

    33. Pursuing Health in the New Year with Functional Medicine Expert, Dr. Jill Carnahan **Transcription Below** Psalm 46:10 (NKJV) “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” Dr. Jill Carnahan completed her residency at the University of Illinois Program in Family Medicine at Methodist Medical Center. She received her medical degree from Loyola University Stritch School of Medicine in Chicago and her Bachelor of Science degree in Bio-Engineering at the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana. She is dually board-certified in Family Medicine and Integrative Holistic Medicine. In 2008, Dr. Carnahan’s vision for health and healing resulted in the creation of Methodist Center for Integrative Medicine in Peoria, IL where she served as the Medical Director for 2 years. In 2010, she founded Flatiron Functional Medicine in Boulder, Colorado where she practices functional medicine with medical partner, Dr. Robert Rountree, author and expert speaker. Dr. Carnahan is also 10-year survivor of breast cancer and Crohn’s disease and passionate about teaching patients how to “live well” and thrive in the midst of complex and chronic illness. She is also committed to teaching other physicians how to address underlying cause of illness rather than just treating symptoms through the principles of functional medicine. She is a prolific writer, speaker, and loves to infuse others with her passion for health & healing! If you would like to read more about Dr. Carnahan, visit www.drcarnahan.com. Dr. Jill’s Website Thank You to Our Sponsor: Midwest Food Bank Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: This episode was made possible by an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank. They paid the sponsorship fee to help spread the word that Midwest Food Bank works to alleviate hunger and poverty throughout the world by gathering food donations and distributing them to nonprofit agencies and disaster sites. If you would like to learn more about Midwest Food Bank, make a donation, or see what volunteer opportunities are available, please visit them at MidwestFoodBank.org. You may have already heard of Dr. Jill Carnahan, who is our guest today. She's a leader in the growing field of functional medicine, and she's also dually board certified in family medicine and integrative holistic medicine. She and I also grew up in the same small town farming community, and I think she even babysat me a few times. She's an incredible clinician, so she is in high demand. I apologize for some of the background noises that you may hear today, but I hope it doesn't take away from this incredible conversation. Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Dr. Jill. Dr. Jill Carnahan: Thank you. Good to be here with you. Laura Dugger: For those who don't know you yet, can you just share your personal story with us? [00:01:37] Dr. Jill Carnahan: You bet. We'll jump right in. I always wanted to do something in the wellness field and I ended up going to medical school. I always joke I have the heart of a naturopath because I think much more like natural and holistic and food-based alternatives. But I felt like going into the allopathic world would be the best way to actually get in the system and make a change. So that was my journey. I got to medical school, was going along fine until my third year when I was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer at 25 years old. So that was a real turning point in my life. I share faith like you. And so this was definitely a time where God just really was very near to me in that journey and healed me from that cancer. I used a lot of the holistic principles, nutrition and supplements and food in the journey and so I really became more empowered and passionate about how to heal and help people through more natural means even in the face of something as scary as cancer. And you know now I'm thriving 17 years later but the truth is at that time, I didn't know if I had six weeks or six months or six years. It was a very scary time. It was really a point of really understanding what it felt like to be the patient in the face of unknown and fear. [00:02:52] I've always had hope and I've always had a sense of God guiding my life. I feel like that was the first part of my journey and really giving me the knowledge of understanding what it felt like to be on the other side of the office table. Laura Dugger: Certainly. Maybe that's one of the reasons you come across so compassionate. Because it seems that you encourage your patients to optimize their health and wellness rather than simply treat symptoms. Today, I'd just love to hear your opinion on various factors that impact our health. Dr. Jill Carnahan: You got it. Laura Dugger: First, let's just start with water because we always hear that's incredibly important. So why is that and what happens to our body when we don't get enough? Dr. Jill Carnahan: I love it. Go back to the basics. Something I always teach when I'm talking to physicians is we need clean air, clean water, clean food. Clean water is right in the middle there and such a priority. People forget how important it is. Every single cell in our body is made up of majority of water and so it lubricates and it hydrates and it allows all the enzymatic processes to happen and it helps digestion to occur and helps our blood flow. [00:03:56] Pretty much every process and every fluid in our body wouldn't be the same without water. I see this in clinic all the time when I see patients who struggle with dehydration syndromes and pots which is an orthostatic type of thing where when they stand up they get dizzy or where they just are thirsty a lot or urinating a lot. Those are all things that affect their hydration and they get very sick from that. The sources of water are really key.. A lot of times people put a whole house filter like reverse osmosis, which is wonderful because it's clean. But the problem there is it depletes the water of minerals, so they're going to have to make sure they're drinking or eating or taking foods with minerals or mineral supplements or things like that, so they're not too acidic with that water that's depleted of toxins and minerals. Something I love is the countertop Berkey filter. It's the one I use at home because it cleans the water very well and doesn't deplete the minerals quite as significantly as the other types of filtrations. And just making sure you're drinking water throughout the day. I'm a fan of a little bit of coffee and some tea. That's okay. But you don't want to use that as your sole source of hydration. And if you have trouble, you can slice, you know, cucumber or lime or all kinds of things and put it in your water for taste. [00:05:01] I'm also a big fan of European mineral waters because they're really heavy in minerals. So like San Pellegrino, Perrier, some of those kinds, Gerald Steiner from Germany is really high in different things. So those can be helpful too because they're full of minerals, which makes the water very alkaline. Laura Dugger: Those are great recommendations. Let's talk about exercising. What are the implications of either choosing a lifestyle full of exercise or choosing a sedentary lifestyle? Dr. Jill Carnahan: Movement is huge. It's interesting because I've always been... that's been kind of one of my outlets for stress. I love to exercise.. And usually I'm doing it at a very like either running or high intensity. Something pretty intense. And I've learned over time for myself and my patients, that's great. Actually high intensity interval training is one of the best things you can do in a short period of time to get a good workout. And all that is, is just when you have a very like maximum capacity put out and then you rest for a bit. Maybe walking. [00:06:02] So you maybe do 90 seconds or let's say 30 seconds of intensity and then 90 seconds of walking and 30 seconds of intensity and alternate something like that. But bottom line getting back to my point was that a lot of people with our high stress lifestyles actually don't need an adrenaline rush and that will also raise cortisol. So some of the things I often recommend implementing are walking, yoga, just moving. I know some of my best times in the morning are just walking the dogs. I'm not doing anything vigorous, but I have time to walk it and pray. And that really, really rejuvenates me. Sometimes more than the high-intensity stuff. Laura Dugger: Oh, that's an incredible suggestion. You had briefly alluded to supplements earlier. So are there any that you recommend to the general population, or is it all individualized? Dr. Jill Carnahan: I think so a lot of people are at the mindset of why would we need to get vitamin, we should be able to get it all from food, which in theory is wonderful if our soils weren't so depleted. So nowadays the soil contains maybe a fifth of the magnesium and some of the minerals we need. So an apple today compared to an apple that our grandparents would have eaten is so depleted of nutrients that we really cannot get enough just through food alone. [00:07:10] And it's sad, but that's just the way our world and our soils and everything are. And so I'm a big fan of introducing some sort of a multi-mineral, multi-vitamin. Most people need extra vitamin D unless they're outside in the sun all day long. Then probiotics are really important. Again, part of this is just because the stresses on our environmental toxic load and our stresses psychologically, they're so much greater than they used to be. So we just need more resources to actually combat the stresses of everyday life. So probiotic, vitamin D, multivitamin are some of the basics. Most people could take a fish oil or just eat plenty of wild-caught fish. Those are ways to do that. Then I'll individualize different things like mitochondrial support or liver support like N-acetylcysteine or lipoic acid or melt thistle. Things like CoQ10 for the heart and extra magnesium can be great for the bowels or for sleep. So depending on the problem, there's other little things you can add. That's probably the basics that almost anyone could benefit from. Laura Dugger: Let's just touch on the topic of sleep as well. How does consistent lack of sleep affect us? [00:08:18] Dr. Jill Carnahan: Oh, you are hitting on all the good topics. Sleep is so critical. And if I get a patient comes in and they have a myriad of problems, but sleep is one of them, usually I focus on sleep as a huge priority, maybe the number one priority. Because our cells are able to regenerate our liver and body is able to detoxify our immune system is able to find infections and restore and regenerate and all of that happens... a lot of it happens at night when we sleep. So we really need that time for our brain. Our brain even there's processes that they clean up areas and said that reorganize memories. And so much happens... I remember I learned this, didn't know the science behind it but in college and medical school so many of my friends would pull all-nighters before a big test, and I would study really hard up until 9 or 10 p.m., and then I would go to sleep. And what I learned is I actually had a much better memory or recall by studying it and then having eight hours of sleep before the test, because my mind would actually go over the material while I slept. I felt like it was cheating, but I realized that that was a really powerful way, way better than an all-nighter, to actually reorganize our brain and our memory and prepare for something that was stressful the next day. [00:09:26] Laura Dugger: Wow, that is fascinating. And related to this topic, a lot of listeners struggle with insomnia. So what are some of the most common causes and solutions to overcome this frustrating symptom? Dr. Jill Carnahan: Great, because you're right, people are struggling. You can try simple things without knowing the cause. I'll go into a couple of causes in a minute. But things that you might try simply and safely would be magnesium and magnesium glycinate, because of its calming effect, and it's pretty neutral for the bowels. It tends to be my favorite for sleep. And most people can go pretty high, li…

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    32 Spiritual Maturity with Ministry Leader, Jonna Harkness Dec 24, 2018
    Show notes

    32. Spiritual Maturity with Ministry Leader, Jonna Harkness **Transcription Below** 2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV) “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” Jonna Harkness is married to Tim and mother of two adult daughters and one son-in-law. Jonna is both the women’s ministry director and biblical counseling director for Harvest Peoria, which is the church where her husband is the head pastor. Harvest Peoria Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: Hey friends, we wouldn't be here without our sponsors. If you're interested in sponsoring an episode of The Savvy Sauce, please reach out to us at info at thesavvysauce.com. Today I want to say a big thank you to our awesome sponsor, Leman Property Management in Central Illinois. With over 1,600 apartment homes in all price ranges throughout Morton, Pekin, Peoria, Washington, and Canton, they can find the perfect spot for you. Make sure you go check them out today online. You can look them up at MidwestShelters.com or like them on Facebook by searching Leman, L-E-M-A-N, Property Management Company. We'll make sure and link to all of this in the show notes. Thanks for the sponsorship. Today I get to introduce you to Jonna Harkness. Jonna is both the women's ministry director and biblical counseling director for the church where her husband is the head pastor, Harvest Peoria. Jonna has been married to Tim for 24 years. She's the mother of two adult daughters and a new son-in-law, although, through all of this, she will share how her true identity is as a child of God. Today we get to hear her story of spiritual growth through various seasons. We learn where to start praying scripture over our family, and she shares some incredible examples of powerful stories she and her husband taught their two daughters. I hope you enjoy this chat. [00:01:54] Welcome to the Savvy Sauce, Jonna. Thanks for joining us today. Jonna Harkness: Thanks for having me. Laura Dugger: Well, for anybody who's listening and doesn't know you already, we'd all want to get to know you better. So can you just share what your life was like before becoming a Christian? Jonna Harkness: Well, I actually became a Christian when I was seven years old, so my life was pretty tame, I would suppose. Although I did grow up in a kind of a difficult situation. So even though I became a Christian at a young age, the home that I grew up in with my mom and my stepfather, they didn't take me to church. So I started by taking a bus to church. And then as I got older, I would go with friends. And so even though I became a Christian at a young age, it was kind of a weird situation because I wasn't living in a Christian home. Laura Dugger: Okay, so you piqued my interest. You started taking a bus to church. How did you even find out about a church that was available? Jonna Harkness: Well, actually, I think a friend of mine was taking the bus, so I took it also. [00:02:58] I think my sister... I actually recently asked my sister how she ended up becoming a Christian, and she did the same thing, but we didn't go together. I know that's kind of crazy. My parents divorced when I was a year old. They met at Bible school. When they divorced, my mom was really kind of hurt by, felt like the church had let her down in a way, or Christianity had let her down. My dad continued going to church and stuff, but they were like a thousand miles apart. I mean, literally, my dad lived in a state so far away from us. So I only saw him mostly during the summer. But when I was with him, he would take us to church. It was very evangelical. Southern Baptist, you know, so I heard the gospel from him and I saw the life that he had and it seemed like such a calm environment, which of course wasn't perfect. But you don't know that when you're a kid. [00:03:59] But I thought, well, I want to know this Jesus, too. That's actually how I was interested in knowing Jesus as my Savior. And then went to the church, and it was a Baptist church, and they presented the gospel in Sunday school, and I said I wanted to receive Jesus as my Savior. Laura Dugger: Wow, that's incredible. Seven years old. If you're looking back, how did your life change from that point forward? Jonna Harkness: Well, I would love to say that my life was perfect from that point forward, but we had a rough situation. My mom married a man who had been to Vietnam and was not a believer and his father was an alcoholic. And so there was a lot of hard stuff that went on in our home. It was a very volatile situation. They separated several times. The first time was when I was nine. Then when I was 15, they divorced. They remarried again when I was 16, and then when I was 17, they divorced again. So on the one hand, I would say that my life... I don't know if I would have survived if I didn't have the Lord. But on the other hand, I made a lot of bad decisions. [00:05:16] I was hurting and felt like even the Lord didn't really want me and that my salvation was a mistake. That He was kind of like, well, you prayed the prayer, so I'll let you in, but don't bother me. That was kind of my view of God. The amazing thing is that God never stopped loving me and proving that that wasn't true. My sophomore year of college, I had gone to visit my old youth pastor. So when they divorced the first time... I grew up in Florida, and they divorced the first time we moved to Illinois. I started going to church. When you grow up in a situation where you're not going to church with your family, you always feel a little bit like an outsider anyway. But there I felt welcomed. But my sophomore year of college, I was visiting my youth pastor and he told me that if I had died when my mom and my step dad divorced the second time, that I would have gone to hell because I got angry with God when it happened. And I believed him, which was really dumb. [00:06:26] I tell people I believed a man over the Word of God. God used those next several years to show me that it wasn't the case. Scripture does clearly say that when you receive Jesus as your Savior, you have the Holy Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing your inheritance with him, and there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, and so many other scriptures. Some people will say, are you angry with him that he said that? And my answer is no, because I really believe that God used that moment to throw my life out of kilter so that I would stop living a roller coaster life. Over the next couple of years, I questioned God and wrote down all my questions and through a series of several things that happened, God proved to me who He was, which He had no responsibility to do that, no obligation, but He just loves us. I was not entitled to that, but He gave it anyway. [00:07:34] The day before I graduated from college, I turned my heart back over to Him and I've pretty much never... I mean, I've messed up since, but I've never turned away from the Lord since. My life verse is from 2 Corinthians 5:14. It says, "The love of Christ controls us." And my prayer is that His love would... We haven't quite achieved that yet, but my prayer is that His love will be what motivates me in all that I do. It goes on to say that we would no longer live for ourselves, but for Him who died and gave Himself for us. So my prayer is that I would live for Him, which means that He's going to be part of every aspect of my life. Laura Dugger: That scripture is so powerful. If somebody's listening today and they want to find or identify their own life verse, could you share with them what your process looked like or any recommendations you would have? Jonna Harkness: You know, I just have a love for God's word and I believe that that is one of the most important things we could possibly do with our lives is know his word. I don't know science great, I don't have good grammar and there's a lot I don't know, but I definitely want to be so knowledgeable of His word. [00:08:55] For someone who's looking for a life verse, I would say we're really fortunate in this day and age to have Google. There are so many times I type in what does scripture say about dot, dot, dot. So, if there is something that you really want to focus on in your own walk with the Lord, Google scripture about that subject and you'll find tons of scripture that will line up with that. When one really, really hits you and you feel like, wow, if I could have this be what defines me by the end of my life, that people could say this about me, then that would be the verse you would choose. Laura Dugger: I love that. You gives us something so practical that we can all go home and do today. Let's just look through your spiritual walk. So you became a Christian when you were seven, walked us through a little bit of that, really turning your full heart over even in college. And then you got married. How did you grow spiritually as a newlywed? [00:09:57] Jonna Harkness: Well, I think you really need the Lord as a newlywed. You know, I think one of the best-kept secrets is that the first year of marriage can be one of the hardest years. I think so many people, they don't want anybody to know that it's hard. And marriage is hard. You're two sinners living in the same home. For Tim and me, my husband's name is Tim, we were both fighters. I came from a pretty rough background, he came from a very good home, where his dad was an elder in the church, his parents had been married for 55 years now. And he had been through difficult circumstances, but not from blow-ups in his home. But we were two sinners living in the same home, and still are after 24 years. So it was probably that I needed to rely on the Lord in order to learn to love him well. And I'm still needing to do that. If he were sitting right here, he might say, yes, she has a little bit more work to do. But learning to get on my knees before the Lord, literally get on my knees before the Lord, and beg Him for help. [00:11:12] Like I said, I really believed that God didn't want me. That carried through. I mean, I think today, when I get up, there are many times where I struggle with thinking that God's angry with me or disappointed in me, and it's something I have to lay before Him every day. I am a runner, and I had big problems with my ankles where I had to wear braces on my ankles for about seven months. I obviously couldn't run during that time. And even though I'm not in braces anymore and I'm running again, I still wake up every day with tight ankles. I have to loosen them up so that I can walk around. And once I get them loosened, I'm fine. And I compare that to I wake up every day with a hard heart and it needs to be loosened up. For me, and this may not be true for everybody, but for me, part of having a hard heart is waking up feeling that God isn't happy with me or doesn't love me or whatever. And so I immediately have to start speaking the truth of his word from the moment I get up. I have to hand that over to the Lord and start speaking the truth of His word over what my feelings are. And that softens my heart so that I can give Him the rest of the day. Throughout the day, I need to continue to speak truth. [00:12:36] But that definitely affected my marriage early on, and probably continues even to today, although it's tons better than it was back then. But when my husband told me he loved me, I didn't hear it. I thought, for me, that it just didn't mean anything to me. And so learning to be able to receive his love and accept that when he says he loves me, He means it. And learning to be able to pray for him, and to pray scripture for him, and to give our relationship to the Lord. I do have a scripture that I pray for us. I pray lots of scripture for us, but there's one particular passage that I pray that our... I guess if you could choose the life verse for our marriage, the hope and prayer that I have for our marriage, it's Romans 15:5-6, and it says, "May the God of endurance and encouragement grant y…

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    31 How to Lead When You’re Not in Charge with Author and Pastor, Clay Scroggins Dec 17, 2018
    Show notes

    31. How to Lead When You’re Not in Charge with Author and Pastor, Clay Scroggins **Transcription Below** Luke 16:10 (NIV) “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” Clay Scroggins is the lead pastor of North Point Community Church, providing visionary and directional leadership for all of the local church staff and congregation. Clay works for Andy Stanley and understands firsthand how to manage the tension of leading when you're not in charge. Starting out as a facilities intern, he has worked his way through many organizational levels at North Point Ministries and knows all too well the challenge of authority deprivation. Clay holds a degree in Industrial Engineering from Georgia Tech as well as a master's degree and a doctorate with an emphasis in Online Church from Dallas Theological Seminary. He lives in Forsyth County, Georgia, with his wife, Jenny, and their five children. At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in. We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Clay’s Website Clay’s Book Find Clay on social media platforms @clayscroggins North Point Community Church The First 90 Days by Michael D. Watkins The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg 360-Survey to Ask Others About Yourself: 1. What did I do over the past few years that inspired you? 2. What did I do that frustrated you? 3. What do I not know about myself that has become a blind spot? Thank You to Our Sponsor: A Perfect Promotion Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: A Perfect Promotion is a promotional marketing company with locations in Illinois and Indiana. They specialize in logoed items as well as screen printing and embroidery. Contact them through their website, aperfectpromotion.com, and let A Perfect Promotion help you with your next business event or promotion. Today is going to be a special episode because my husband, Mark Dugger, is going to join as a co-host today, and our guest is Clay Scroggins. Mark Dugger: Clay and I go back to our days at Georgia Tech. I always remember Clay being an impressive leader, but he's since gone on to be the lead pastor for North Point Community Church's campus in Alpharetta, Georgia. He has recently come out with a new book titled, How to Lead When You're Not in Charge: Leveraging Influence When You Lack Authority. We're really excited to talk with Clay today. Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Clay. Clay Scroggins: Thank you, Laura. It's a pleasure to get to be here. Thanks. [00:01:25] Laura Dugger: Well, are you willing just to start us off by sharing a bit about your journey before coming on staff with North Point? Clay Scroggins: Sure. I have done a few podcasts along this process of writing a book, but I have not done one with someone that I have known as long as Mark Dugger. So I have to be super truthful and honest about my background. Mark Dugger: We're going to be double-checking everything. Clay Scroggins: No, I'm not actually tempted to lie, but I do have to be extra honest. So yeah, I grew up in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Great family, parents that were loving and terrific and, older sister, younger sister. So I am the only boy with an older sister, younger sister. I felt very comfortable in shopping malls. They do a lot of shopping those two. Moved to Atlanta in 1998 to go to Georgia Tech. That's where me and Mark met. Go Jackets. Mark was one of the most sought-after recruits in the Georgia Tech fraternity system in 2000. [00:02:30] I majored in industrial and systems engineering. I was not very good at it. I say this about my situation, and it's not a joke. This actually happened. I knew I was going to do professional ministry. I knew I wanted to be a pastor, I don't know, maybe at least halfway through my college experience. So I was trying to finish this engineering degree, and it was not going very well. There were some classes that I felt like I needed to take over again just because I hadn't started the content yet, and the school agreed. So I'm in the registrar's office telling this lady, "Ma'am, I really need to get out of here." At Georgia Tech, you don't say you graduated. You say, "What year did you get out?" So I said to her, I said, "Look, I don't even want to be an engineer. I just need to get this degree because I'm trying to go to grad school." I said, "Why don't we do a deal? You will promise to give me this degree, I will promise to never use it." That was the exchange we made and an agreement was reached. [00:03:32] I ended up passing those classes, finished Georgia Tech in 2003, promptly moved to Dallas Theological Seminary in Dallas, Texas, which is where I met my gorgeous, lovely, awesome, amazing wife, Jenny. We got married and moved to Atlanta. It was back to Atlanta for me, but it was a big deal for Jenny because she grew up in Texas. I was raised in Texas, went to college in Texas, so to move to Atlanta was a pretty significant move. I started working at North Point Community Church. I did student ministry for about five years, and then I have been a campus pastor for the last eight years. And the last four of those, I've been at North Point Community Church, which is our original campus. We have five kids. We've got a nine, seven, five, three, and a one-year-old, and we are having a great time. A lot of activity, but a lot of good, a lot of exciting things. That's my life. [00:04:34] Laura Dugger: That's an incredible backstory. Now moving on to your book, Mark and I have both read this. Great job, by the way. Clay Scroggins: Thank you. Laura Dugger: Who would you say is your target audience? And what is one main thing that you want them to walk away with after completing your book? Clay Scroggins: I never set out to write a book, definitely did not set out to write a leadership book. But Andy's got this, Andy Stanley, my boss, actually my boss's boss, he's got a bunch of things that he says often. But one of the things that I feel like has really shaped our organization, our church, is that we are not responsible to fill up the cups of other people, we're just responsible to empty our own. That's the way we try to lead, and it's the way we try to live, and it's the way we try to operate as a church. So this book was really just an opportunity for me to empty my cup and here's everything I know about my professional journey. [00:05:37] Honestly, I wrote it for people like myself. I wrote it for people who were in a church context who were trying to get their senior pastor to do church the way they thought it needed to be done. Throughout the process, I started realizing that church people, pastoral people, are not the only kinds of people that feel this tension of authority deprivation, but it's really.. I mean, it's rampant in every organization. So it's been an interesting process because I think writing it for a church audience, I thought that's who would be the audience. But as it turns out, most of the speaking stuff that I've done as a result of the book has been to business leaders, non-profit organizations, for-profit organizations. And that's been a whole lot of fun. To answer your question, what do I want for people? My hope would be that if somebody could read this book or digest some of the content, it would allow someone to be able to get to the point where they really could believe that influence is what leadership really is, and it would equip them enough to where they would feel like they could be dropped into any organization at any level at any point in time and make a difference, move an idea forward, or make a change, or create positive impact. That's what I hope for people. [00:06:54] Mark Dugger: And I love that your book is written in Clay Scroggins, meaning that it's in your language. I can definitely hear you speaking it as it's written. Clay Scroggins: Oh, well, thank you. Honestly, I think I wrote about two or three chapters. I have my boss to credit for that because I sent him a couple of the chapters and he came by my office a couple days later and he's like, "Hey, I read the chapters you sent me. It's good, it's good. You need to be you. You need to just be yourself." And I was like, "Huh." I mean, I don't have a problem being myself, but I think originally I just thought, Oh, I need to sound like a leadership person. And I'm not really a leader. I mean, I enjoy having a good time and enjoy laughing and I'm not super serious most of the time. I thanked him in the little acknowledgement section up front because I feel like it was so significant for me to get to the point where I could go, "Okay, I've got to be me. I can't write like I think a leadership book is supposed to be."[00:07:52] Now the book, I've had numerous people who've said, hey, I was at a pilot truck stop or a Flying J truck stop and I saw your book. I think initially that kind of made me cringe because no one ever dreams about being in a truck stop. But I really fancy it as helpful leadership content for the average person. That's what it is. Mark Dugger: That's awesome. I've started recommending this as a resource to my team at our Chick-fil-A restaurant. How large is your organization to give some context at North Point? Clay Scroggins: So we're in Atlanta, we have six churches in the Atlanta area, and we have about 600 employees all in. At the campus that I lead, we have about 110 employees. On any given Sunday, we'll have 10 or 11,000 people at the location that I'm at. In total, we'll have, I don't know, maybe like 30, 32,000 at all of our campuses on a Sunday. So it is a large... You know, from a business side, I would say it's mid-sized business. But it's definitely a large church in the church world. [00:09:02] Mark Dugger: Wow. So in that large of an organization, when you're talking about this idea of leveraging influence when you lack authority, how do you incorporate that into your organization's culture? Clay Scroggins: Well, I can't take credit for implementing this as an organization. I would say this began by me personally going, Okay, I don't know that I can make other people do this, but I know for me, in order for me to be able to have influence... I mean, it started as a selfish thing. If I'm going to get people to listen to what I think we ought to do, then I've got to learn to cultivate influence with them because I don't have authority over them. I would say it began more of a personal journey or voyage for myself. And then I think over time, what happens is people start to see, okay, well, he's not in charge of everything, but he shifted the plans for next Sunday or even the plans for next year or the agenda for, you know, how we're going to operate. And so maybe I can as well. I think what I've learned is that modeling it, I mean, that's the most effective way to change a culture anyway. And it's really the only place to begin is to say, hey, well, I can't change everything, but what I can change, what I'm most in charge of is myself. So I think it begins with me. It begins with you. It begins with each of us as individuals. [00:10:19] I don't remember what chapter it is now. Maybe one of the first chapters, I call it the Oasis of Excellence, that every one of us has to figure out what am I most in charge of? Just because you're not in charge doesn't mean you can't take charge. And every one of us is in charge of something. And what every one of us is definitely in charge of is me, is ourself, is my own agency as a person. You got to start there by modeling. Then secondly, you know, celebrating it in other people is another important way to help others see that this is of value. At every staff meeting we have, I try to bring up an example of someone who changed something that they weren't in charge of. Because to me, that's the greatest way that you know the culture is being affected by influence an…

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    30 Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Dec 10, 2018
    Show notes

    *DISCLAIMER* This episode contains some adult themes and is not intended for little ears. 30. Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt **Transcription Below** Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭(NLT‬‬) “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Emma Schmidt, MA is a professional counselor, certified sex therapist, and certified clinical sexual addiction specialist licensed in the State of Ohio. She is a graduate of Cincinnati Christian University’s Master of Arts in Counseling program. Emma received her sex therapy education at the Institute for Sexual Wholeness at Richmont Graduate University in Atlanta, Georgia. Emma is certified through both The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and The American Board of Christian Sex Therapists (ABCST). She has specialized training in treating sexual addiction, trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, sex therapy, victims’ advocacy, crisis intervention and advanced training in emotion-focused therapy for couples. She earned her Bachelor of Science in Psychology and Biblical Studies from Cincinnati Christian University. Emma has two years of doctoral training from Union Institute and University’s PsyD Clinical Psychology program. She currently owns a group practice, Emma Schmidt & Associates, Sex + Relationship Therapy, in Cincinnati, Ohio. Emma’s Website Connect with Emma on facebook: Emma Schmidt & Assoc., Sex + Relationship Therapy Instagram: @emmaschmidtandassociates Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message. I want to say thank you to Leman Property Management for being such a loyal sponsor of The Savvy Sauce. They're located in Central Illinois. With over 1,600 apartment homes in all price ranges, they have listings throughout Morton, Pekin, Peoria, Washington, and Canton. They can find the perfect spot for you. Check them out today at Midwestshelters.com or like them on Facebook by searching Leman, L-E-M-A-N, Property Management Company. We'll make sure and put a link in our show notes. Thanks again for the sponsorship. If you're interested in sponsoring The Savvy Sauce, we would love to hear from you. Make sure you reach out to us. You can email us at info@thesavvysauce.com. It's my privilege to introduce you to Emma Schmidt. Emma is a certified sex therapist and her private practice is in Cincinnati, Ohio. Today we're going to discuss five topics. They include pain, pornography, erectile dysfunction, anxiety, and emotional distance. Here's our chat. Hey, Emma. Emma Schmidt: Hi. Laura Dugger: I'm looking so forward to getting to ask you more questions about your expertise. But first, will you just share a little bit about yourself, including how you decided to become a sex therapist? [00:01:53] Emma Schmidt: Yeah. So I've been in private practice for about eight years now. I'm out in the Cincinnati, Ohio area. I have two little girls, a one-year-old and a three-year-old and I've been married for 11 years now. So whenever I was first married, so I got married when I was 20, and one of the pieces that really resonated with us is that we were virgins whenever we got married and we didn't know that we might experience some kind of sexual pain and or some kind of sexual dysfunction. We thought that sex would just be kind of what everybody had told us from movies or books, and so we were really excited about it. Then that started a very long years of journey trying to figure out why we could not have successful intercourse. I was in my undergrad for psychology at that point, and I tried to look for different resources and therapists. There were so many great family relationship couples therapists out there, but no one who really knew how to address that core piece of sexual dysfunctions or sexual-related topics. [00:03:07] Though there were many who tried and I really appreciated that and so we kept getting tossed around from therapist to therapist. That's when I decided, you know, I want to be able to grow this field. I felt really comfortable talking about this area. Even from whenever I was younger, I really enjoyed human sexuality. That was my focus in my psychology undergrad. So whenever I went to my counseling and master's degree, I just heavily focused my trajectory on sex therapy. So I was doing my master's in counseling in Cincinnati and then I would drive down to Atlanta on the weekends to do sex therapy certification, the sex therapy certification program. That was about eight years ago whenever I did that. I was an individual practitioner. Then in the last, it's been almost two years now, I started the group practice of other clinicians who were interested in sex therapy, wanted to figure out how to become sex therapists and relationship therapists. Since then, most of our clinicians are either certified as a sex therapist or are in a program for becoming certified as a sex therapist, which is pretty cool because there aren't many in our area. The idea is that we grow as a population to be able to help more people in our community on a number of different levels. [00:04:33] So that's where we're at right now and a little bit of my story. Laura Dugger: Thank you for sharing that part of your story. Have you been someone who has experienced healing through the sexual part of your life? Emma Schmidt: Yes. I experienced vaginismus kind of off and on, but definitely for the first three years of our relationship. Then we sought out pelvic floor physical therapy, sex medicine doctors. And we had a lot of success with that and then it came back postpartum. So we had to kind of dive into that. But what was really cool is that we had to learn how to be intimate versus just having physical sex. And that was a pretty amazing experience to understand what intimacy looks like versus what does the performance-based sex looks like. So we have experienced healing through that sexual part, even though it kind of ebbs and flows still. But the intimacy piece, I think, has been pretty close to us, even if that goes off a little bit. Laura Dugger: That definitely makes sense. Just to clarify, or if somebody is in your same position, how can they grow in intimacy or what does that look like? [00:05:49] Emma Schmidt: We had to figure out because we weren't sexually illiterate. We had to slow everything down and explore and figure out what do I like, what do you like, how can we have more conversation? So we could get pretty frustrated by intercourse not working, let's say so we developed a plan where we sit down... Well, we don't sit down anymore, but we did. We communicate about sex pretty frequently. Even today as a sex therapist We talk about our sex life almost every other day at least or at least once a week where we just dive into what was good, what are you meeting, what am I meeting, how can we be vulnerable and kind of show up verbally naked. That took a lot of hard work and trying to figure out what language we needed. That in itself helps us become closer because we are having to be so vulnerable with "Actually I know that you like that but this is how it makes me feel" or "Do you actually like doing that because I don't like it when you do that?" And so are we just doing something that neither of us actually enjoy. So there was a lot of conversation about it, which was really helpful, and then a lot of exploring and experimenting which was good to figure out what's gonna work and what's not, and then readdressing that maybe months or years later to figure out, is that something we want to try again or not or let's talk about this because our bodies are changing during different seasons of life or our personalities are changing. [00:07:22] There's some things that or some discussions that we had early on that didn't really work for us but now work for us post-kids. So having that ongoing conversation, being able to... I think this is cheesy, but it makes sense, saying like, into-me-see, so allowing someone to really see into you and then you diving into that person as well. So being really transparent and vulnerable. That's what intimacy is about. If I just go in to have physical active sex, there might not be any intimacy there. But what we were trying to create is how can we show up for each other and allow for a deeper connection than sexually when we were able to express our needs and desires and refocus on the purpose of what we wanted sex to look like. Laura Dugger: I love that explanation. That does broaden your perspective and really intimacy is so rich. So I love that you've shared that. From your expertise, how do you think that sex therapy can benefit a couple, singles, parents, kids, and even families? Emma Schmidt: I mean I've gotten a lot of interesting comments about what people think sex therapy is. The way that I like to think about it is sex therapy can help on a broad level any kind of sexual difficulty that one might be having. [00:08:45] So for a couple, let's say, a typical couple might have desire discrepancy. So one person has more desire for sex than the other person or it's been a while since you've had sex now just feels awkward how to start that again. There might be some infidelity or some addictions that might be happening within the relationship or even just confused about what to do with your body. It feels like going into a sexual situation when you haven't had it before seems like it would be normal, but how do you move your body? This feels awkward. So even diving into some of those pieces with couples is really important. Or the rectal dysfunction or vaginal pain, infertility. There's so many different aspects to sex therapy that can benefit a couple. So that's the couple piece. For an individual, I think exploring one's sexuality, exploring how to get to know your body and you being a sexual self. So I see a lot of clients who come in who have shame around sex because of cultural messages or religious messages or familial messages. So trying to address some of those shame pieces. [00:09:59] Or even I'll have some women who come in who want to explore how to have an orgasm and what does that even feel like. Or guys who are coming in and saying, I'm 20 and I have I'm not able to sustain an erection, like this doesn't feel normal, or I have premature ejaculation or I'm just trying to figure out how to date and I feel awkward in this new world where it seems like you're supposed to go on 50 dates all the time and am I monogamous am I not monogamous. So we explore relationships, we explore how to become more in tune with one's sexual self and really try and decrease some of those shame messages. But we do a lot of exploration around what does that look like. Then for parents, This gets really tough because you're used to maybe a certain way of behaving sexually, and then you have kids and it completely rocks the boat maybe. Maybe your body and the way that you experience sex feel so much better postpartum. And then maybe sometimes there's a lot of stuff that's going on. So I'll see women who experience sexual pain maybe because of the scars, scar tissue that they might have because of tearing or the vaginal canal can just really change, your body shifts or if you have a C-section, sometimes you go numb. Some of the nerve endings can be damaged from a C-section. [00:11:19] So that can be really disheartening when you have had this, you've created such a miracle of life and now you're trying to figure out, well, how do we behave sexually again? Not only that, but you might be functioning on waking up every two hours and you have absolutely no desire. So you feel like you've gotten into the cycle of maybe fighting a lot or you have no energy or the male partner feels like, I want to be there for my partner but I don't know…

    Full show notes at the publisher

    29 Ideas for Meaningful Holiday Traditions with Mentor, Shawn Mazelin Dec 03, 2018
    Show notes

    29. Ideas for Meaningful Holiday Traditions with Mentor, Shawn Mazelin **Transcription Below** 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Shawn Mazelin is a wife, mother, and grandmother. She loves to host strangers and friends in her home and she is known in her community as a mentor to many. In addition to serving at her church, Shawn also works at Hannah’s House as the Community Outreach Coordinator. At The Savvy Sauce, we will only recommend resources we believe in! We also want you to be aware: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Saint Valentine by Robert Sabuda Patrick: Patron Saint of Ireland by Tommie dePaola Resurrection Rolls Recipe Resurection eggs from Family Life French Toast Casserole Recipe Bonus Resources/Ideas not mentioned: *Many of these ideas come from book lists mentioned on Read Aloud Revival: Children's Picture Books: The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Colesfor Black History Month Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch by Eileen Spinellifor Valentine’s Day The Legend of the Easter Egg by Lori Walburgfor Easter How to Make a Cherry Pie and See the USA by Marjorie Pricemanfor 4th of July Popcorn by Frank Aschfor Halloween The Thanksgiving Story for Thanksgiving Saint Nicholas by Julie Stiegemeyerfor St. Nicholas Day The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado For the adults: Everyday Confetti: Your Year-Round Guide to Celebrating Holidays and Special Occasions by Karen Ehman Bonus Ideas: Let the family use the stockings all month long: use them as mailboxes and drop letters of love and encouragement throughout the month Gather a group of friends to Christmas Carol at a Nursing Home or at the homes of recent widows/widowers. Consider writing letters to the people you will be singing to or bring them a candy cane with a note of encouragement. Thank You to Our Sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” **Transcription** [00:00:00] <music> Laura Dugger: Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. [00:00:17] <music> Laura Dugger: The principles of honesty and integrity that Sam Leman founded his business on continue today over 55 years later at Sam Leman Chevrolet Inc in EUREKA. Owned and operated by the Bertschi family, Sam Leman in Eureka appreciates the support they've received from their customers all over Central Illinois and beyond. Visit them today at Lemangm.com. When I think about intentional holiday traditions, Shawn Mazelin is the first person who comes to mind. She has been a personal mentor of mine and many others. I've heard her grown children say how much they valued her intentionality and purposeful traditions. I hope you enjoy our chat. Hi Shawn. Thanks for coming on The Savvy Sauce. Shawn Mazelin: Hi Laura, it's great to be here. Laura Dugger: For anyone who has not met you yet, can you just share a little bit about yourself? Shawn Mazelin: I am in my 30th year of marriage. I have two adult daughters, two son-in-laws, a son that is a senior in high school, and another son that is a freshman in high school. [00:01:30] I work at a local maternity home for the last couple years, and I've been very busy with our church and other projects in the community. Laura Dugger: And you have always poured so much into your family. Why was it important for you to make holidays special with your family? Shawn Mazelin: You know, I think that it's so important to build memories. Those are more important, I think, than even the gifts that you can purchase. When my kids get together, even now as grown adults, they'll talk about some of the fun memories of growing up together and the things that we did, and the ways that we celebrated. But I never hear them talk about an item that was purchased. It's always about the quality time that we spent. Laura Dugger: And for people that didn't know you as you were raising your children, were you a part-time working mom, a full-time working mom, stay-at-home mom? What did that look like? Shawn Mazelin: You know, at various times in our marriage, I've done all of those things. It depended on how I needed to be the best helpmate to my husband. [00:02:35] We were also missionaries for 17 years of our marriage. And when you do that, you're living on faith support. So sometimes I would need to work a part-time job or a full-time job and sometimes God allowed me to stay at home full-time with my children. So it was a different season for each time, but it was something my husband and I came together on and prayed through. So we had to learn how to be organized and to make family a priority because that was always my trump card. I didn't want my children and the things that were important to fall between the cracks because I was working outside the home. Laura Dugger: Even in those really busy seasons, how did you carve out time to plan and prepare to make holidays special? Shawn Mazelin: Well, I would do a little research before each holiday. I wanted my kids to have a clear understanding of what we were celebrating and why we were celebrating it. I think that's one of the keys to parenting is to give the "why" behind something and so that they understand it and make it their own. [00:03:43] There's a lot of cultural ideas around every holiday. But most people don't realize there's a Christian meaning behind all the holidays. And so I wanted to dig to the root of each time and celebrate those moments. For example, Christmas, everyone knows, you know, it's the birth of Jesus, but then there's also Santa Claus. Easter, you have the risen Christ, but then there's the Easter bunny. St. Patrick's Day, people talk about shamrocks and green beer, different things like that. And it's really about a man who became a Christian and went back to a country that had enslaved him and He taught the gospel. As I go through and I look at those things, then we've talked about what is important. so for Christmas, I didn't always do it. You know, as young moms, you're kind of figuring different things out. But we had certain stories that we would share or movies that we would watch that were about the birth of Christ. And when we gave gifts to each other, it had a meaning to it. We look for places to serve and give to other people besides ourselves. [00:04:52] Laura Dugger: Okay, friends, get your notebooks out if you're looking for ideas related to specific holidays or even birthdays. Shawn, let's spend some time and go through the whole calendar year so you can give suggestions. Let's begin with family members' birthdays. What traditions did you do? Shawn Mazelin: When they were little, especially, our finances were very tight. So we couldn't afford to always go out for a big fancy dinner. But I would ask each child what their favorite dinner was and make that dinner on their birthday. And we would set the table very ornately. So we would pull out our nicest dishes and might have a special Birthday placemats and champagne kind of a glass. I made a birthday plate. It's a glass plate. And you can hand paint it and you bake it. I've had it for the majority of their growing-up years. Now the paint's kind of all scratched off and it's not as pretty as it was when we first started but every time I talk about making a new one the kids all protest because they want me to still use that same plate for them. [00:06:00] As we sit around and we eat your favorite meal and we have this really nice dinner, we go around the table and we say something that we value about that birthday person. So we take turns. It's really been amazing to watch my children bless each other and say things that are about their character traits that will build their siblings up. Words have a tendency to take a root in your heart. And those things I've just watched bless our family so much to see positive and good things spoken over them. So we do that every year. And it's been amazing because as friends come in, or maybe they'll share their birthday with us, and we go around the table and friends are there. We've watched people incorporate that in their families and in their homes. It isn't just about a cake and a present. It's about, hey, let's look at who you are on the inside. We notice who you are, how hard you work, how much you give, how funny you are, all of the good things about the person that God has created that's in our family. [00:07:05] Laura Dugger: What about moving on to New Year's Eve and New Year's Day? Did your family do anything special for that? Shawn Mazelin: You know, it's just simple. Sometimes we've had game nights and we'll all stay up and you know, I've made little hors d'oeuvres and we'll invite other families in and we'll have maybe a family versus family game night and keep score of whose families beat the other family and just made it a little competitive and had fun with it. You know, we watched the ball drop or, you know, different things like that. It's just been more of a free night, but it's a night we've invited people in and just shared bringing in that new year. Then as the clock strikes midnight, we usually stop and we pray together. And we bring that new year in with a prayer for the coming year and for the people in our lives and for our country and for our leaders. Laura Dugger: And what about anything special you recommend for Valentine's Day? Shawn Mazelin: Valentine's Day, I think that's just something that's in between your family. [00:08:04] I love to give all of my kids something sweet and remind them of the sweetness of God. I'll write them cards, or I'll do something for each one of them individually. But words of affirmation are a really big deal for us. So I like to write down things that I love about them, and then write down things that we see how God loves us and remind them that they're loved. Especially as you're growing up and you're in school, sometimes you don't feel loved, and the enemy can come in and rob, steal some of the good things that God has done in your life. And so we want to remind our kids that they're loved, maybe when the world is cold and hard. Then just my husband and I, we try to make sure that we go on a date because we want our kids to see us dating. We want our kids to know that we love each other. And I think it's healthy for the kids to know that we have family time, but we also have time for mom and dad. Laura Dugger: I remember you sharing with a group that you mentored that you used a certain resource. I believe it was just called St. Valentine. [00:09:08] Shawn Mazelin: Yes, it's just going back to the root of the history of how Valentine started. Valentine, this man, he was a priest and he was put into prison because he was marrying people at a time when marriage was illegal. The soldiers were supposed to be going off to war, and they thought the men would be distracted if they were married, so they made it illegal to be married. So this priest married people in secret. As he was caught and put in prison, he was getting ready to be persecuted and put to death, he wrote a valentine to the jailer's daughter, and he signed it "My Valentine". As I've talked to my kids about this, we just talk about the importance of marriage and what are you willing to do to uphold what God has created and ordained, and how can we love each other? You know, it's one of the biggest commandments is to love God and to love others. This holiday encompasses that. So we have a way to share that and say that and talk to others about it. [00:10:15] Laura Dugger: I also remember that St. Patrick's Day was always one of your favorite holidays. Can you tell us more about that? Shawn Mazelin: Sure. I love that day because it is about a man who was captured into slavery in Ireland and then he escaped and some Bishops found him, and he was taught the gospel, and he accepted Christ as his Savior. He went back to Ireland, and then he shared the gospel with people. And he shared it in a way that it impacted the entire nation. The clover is a representation of the Trinity. It's what He used to teach about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit—t…

    Full show notes at the publisher

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