The Purposeful Career Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Ep 065: The Three Types of Perfectionism and What to Do About It Mar 06, 2022

Show notes

A few weeks ago, I came across a Harvard Business Review article from back in 2018 related to Perfectionism. And it changed the way I think about it. So, I did a lot more research and reading on the topic and I wanted to share it with you. Because it really opened my eyes. Not only to the realities of perfectionism and the fact that it’s not only a growing problem – no big surprise in the age of social media, right? – but that it can show up in more ways that you probably realize. I know it was news to me.

So, in this episode I’m going to walk you through the three types of Perfectionism – I know…who knew there were three? – the impact each type has on the person (and maybe others) and, what to do about it.

I thought this would be a great episode even if you *don’t* feel like you’ve got Perfectionist tendencies. Because once you learn a little more about it, I think you might recognize some of these behaviors in those around you. People you love. Maybe people you lead. And so, I wanted to share this information and give you some tips and insights that might help.

So, let’s dive in.

Let’s start with what for me was the big news. And that is that Perfectionism is not a one size fits all thing.

To be honest, I’ve never thought a lot about Perfectionism probably because I didn’t consider it to be a big issue for me. I thought Perfectionists were just people with a super high bar who were never satisfied with themselves and always criticizing themselves. So, while I’ve had friends and colleagues who I might put in this bucket, I never considered myself anywhere close to that. I mean, I have high standards and sometimes I have a little voice inside – my Inner Critic – that whispers that something I’m trying to do isn’t good enough, but I considered it a minor annoyance. It certainly hasn’t stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do, though I realize that at times my minor little perfectionist qualities did occasionally cause me to Procrastinate. But to be honest, I always thought of Perfectionists as being far more exacting. Some shade of grey just shy of well, being Perfect. And so, I never identified with it.

But as I dove into the article on Perfectionism, it was a real revelation for me.

Turns out, two Canadian psychologists – Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett – have led a decades-long research study (that went from the late 80’s to like 2016). And they used the insights from this study to create something called the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale.

And the scale they developed reveals that there’s a range of Perfectionism. It’s categorized into three types based on where the Perfectionist lens is placed, which I’ll explain more in a minute.

The three types are:

· Self-Oriented Perfectionism

· Other-Oriented Perfectionism

· Socially Prescribed Perfectionism
For more on each and what you can do about it, give the episode a listen.

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Ep 064: How to Drive Change and Influence People Feb 27, 2022

Show notes

Today we’re going to talk about how to drive change at work.

Now this isn’t about the actual development of the idea of the change you want to drive because that’s something you already know how to do. You already know how to come up with ideas. Today we’re going to talk about what happens when you share your idea with others. You can also think of this as being about how to influence others.

And the model I’m going to share today will help you understand the human behavior behind adopting something new. Because while some people are very adaptable to change and some are highly resistant to change, the truth is, everyone goes through four phases of the model I’m about to share. Some just do that more quickly than others.

As a person who’s introducing a new idea into your organization – no matter how big or small the impact might be – it’s helpful to know. Whether you want to introduce a new strategy, recommend changing outside partners, streamlining internal processes, shifting an organizational model or team structure or pretty much anything else you think of that’s about moving someone else’s cheese, this approach will help you.

This was a hot topic recently for one of my private coaching clients.

She’s in a CMO role inside a Fortune 500 organization. She’s still kind of new, having taken the role six months ago. And given the C in her title and the fact that she’s new, pretty much everything she does it about change. All day, every day.

In the short time she’s been there, she’s repositioned the brand, introduced a new advertising company and now she’s starting to look at some bigger disruptors like changing a long-time agency relationship, streamlining her organizational model, and shifting some of how the work gets done inside her team. And those changes in and of themselves are easy for her. Innovating and finding new and better ways to do things is her superpower.

But for her, doing this inside a big, established, set-in-it’s-ways Fortune 500 is very different from doing so inside a startup. And that’s where she’s spent most of her career. Startups by nature are still being formed so they’re naturally more nimble and agile.

So, as she’s recently taken on this role inside a large decades old – and maybe slightly stuck corporation she’s found that driving change – honestly, even sharing new ideas – inside that type of environment is a very different thing.

Instead of finding numerous allies who see her vision and readily expand on it, she finds herself endlessly explaining the ideas again and again. And in general, just being met with this ‘wall of resistance’ (that’s what she calls it) whenever anything new is even proposed.

She’s frustrated. Irritated. And feels more than a little defeated.

As a result, just six months into the role, she’s dubbed most of her peers and many of her direct reports ‘the no people’ and lately has been fantasizing about greener pastures, which for her is about moving back into the more pliable start-up environments where she cut her teeth.

As we discussed it, I could empathize because I’ve spent most of my career in brand driving change as well. So, I know it’s not always easy. But I was lucky because in my first corporate role, I had a very wise boss that was amazing at driving change inside the global corporation where I worked. And he shared with me the model I’m going to talk about today. I call it The Change Curve.

And by the way, this is helpful to know whether

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Ep 063: Self-Image and Your Career Feb 19, 2022

Show notes

Today I wanted to talk about something foundational to having the career or life you want. And that is your self-image.

You’ve heard me say it many times on this podcast, but it’s impossible to say it too often because it’s just not something we hear about much. And yet it’s so incredibly important. So, I’ll say it again.

Everything that you want in your career, your business OR your life starts on the inside.

Today we’re going to dive deeper into what that means because it is critically important when it comes to creating the life you want. And once you understand the concept of self-image *and* learn how to create a positive one, your career and really every other part of your life as well, is going to change for the better.

I know that self-image isn’t usually what comes up when we talk about career. Most of us are taught to pay more attention to influencing what *others* think about us – our boss, our colleagues, our partner, our customers. And of course, it is important.

But there’s something even more important that needs to come *first*. And that is, what we think about ourselves.

Here’s why.

We can only create a career or life to the edge of our self-image. To the edge of what we believe is possible for ourselves.

That’s why we sometimes say we really want one thing but then we do the opposite. So, we may say we want to lose 20 pounds but instead of staying on our health eating protocol, we binge on chips or cookies when we’re stressed.

That’s where the behaviors we have that confound us come from. And it’s where those feelings of self-doubt or worry or fear come from as well.

So, we must believe in our ability to have, do, and be the things we want BEFORE we can actually have, do, and be them.

Here’s how it works in practical terms.

If we don’t believe we can get the promotion, we won’t.

If we don’t think we can be successful in that new career path, we won’t.

If we don’t believe we can have that level of income or savings, we won’t.

If we don’t believe we can have good relationships, we won’t.

If we don’t believe we’ll be successful in the new business, we won’t.

Or let’s to take it to your health, if you don’t believe you can lose the weight, you won’t.

And it’s important to say also that this isn’t spiritual woo woo. This is about cold, hard practicality. This is about as real as it gets. After all, I’m a Midwest girl through and through so practicality is my thing. And this inside out approach is just the way the universe works.

Once you know this, it explains so many things that never seemed to go our way, but we could never figure out why. Because the truth is if we don’t believe in our ability to have, do or be something FIRST, we will either not make it happen or if we do, we won’t be able to hang onto it. It’s that simple.

So inside is where it all starts.

And once you do that inner work and create a strong self-image, *then* you’re ready to focus on all the external factors that are also important. You know…the ones we talk about most when it comes to career, like learning new skills or improving relationships or taking risks or networking or mastering public speaking or whatever it is for you. They’re all important. But they are all secondary to how you see yourself and your possibilities.

This is going to be a super interesting episode that can help you in literally every area of your life.
For more

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Ep 062: Five Steps for Staying Calm When Getting Feedback Feb 13, 2022

Show notes

Today I want to talk about something that most of us dread but that everyone in business contends with on occasion – whether you’re in a corporate job or you run your own business – and that is getting feedback on our performance.
Because for those of us in corporate America, it’s high season, right?
While it varies, in general most American companies have an annual performance review cycle that runs through the calendar year.
So, employees set goals at the beginning of the year that outline what we want to do in the year ahead and, when we finish the year, we note our achievements, measure progress against the goals we set, and we’re given a rating based on that.
Sometimes we’re even stack ranked with our peers, a practice I still don’t think should happen but it’s how many companies differentiate between good and amazing performances in that year. I get why they do it – to award standout performance – but there’s something so inhuman about it. But I digress…because that’s not what we’re here to explore.
So, our boss will then assign a rating to our performance based on whatever system of measurement they use, and the process usually concludes with a meeting with our manager. In that meeting, they’ll give their feedback, usually sharing both strengths and opportunity areas.
This process varies a bit from company to company. Some have a more frequent and less formal feedback process, and for some it’s annually and very formal. But any way you do it, the experience for most people is the same. Whether you had a challenging year or a great year full of accomplishment, there’s something unsettling about having your performance reviewed.
Even more, for most, the process is important to our livelihood because the feedback is tied to bonus percentage, maybe merit raise percentage, promotions or whatever. So, we’ve usually got a lot riding on the quality of the rating. And once concluded, both the rating and feedback are entered into a database, so they stay with you for the life of your tenure.
So, the stakes are high. This isn’t a one or done process.
As long as you’re with that employer, anyone who manages you will be able see the feedback and the rating. It’s on your ‘permanent record’ so to speak.
And as any business owner will tell you, for them, *every* day is like annual performance review day. Especially in the age of social media.
Customer’s rate and provide reviews based on their experience with a brand and over time, all those ratings and reviews combine to create a holistic view of that company or brand. And that view can significantly influence the likelihood that other people will either buy or not buy that brand. And once that general customer view is entrenched, it becomes part of their reputation which can be *very* hard to undo.
And then there’s the internet trolls who’ve never even done business with you but that trash you. Or the live interactions with unhappy customers – whether in person or on Zoom.
No matter how negative feedback is delivered, anything less than glowing praise is hard to hear.
Honestly the long-lasting significance of a rating and review is true for a corporate career as well.
Once you’re “known” or have a reputation for certain things – whether positive or negative – that reputation follows you and becomes a key part of your personal brand. And it’ll either serve you or potentially become the mechanism that holds

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Ep 061: How to Go All In on Your Career and Life Feb 05, 2022

Show notes

It’s hard to believe that it’s already February. Right?

So now that we’re one month in, I wanted to ask you how you’re doing on your goals.

Are you looking at 2022 with intention?

Do you know the results you want to create in your career and life this year?

I don’t know about you, but with the pandemic limiting so much of our possibilities over the past few years, the idea of setting and pursuing specific goals this year is more important than ever for me.

So let me ask you…

Do you have specific goals you’re going after this year?

If so, how’s it going?

Have you stayed with them over the past month?

Or did you abandon them a few weeks in?

And if you haven’t set goals for 2022, why not? I mean, have you really thought about that?

Is it because you don’t know what you want?

Or is it because you don’t believe in your ability to achieve them?

I think these are some of the most important questions we’ll ever ask ourselves. Because the career and life we want isn’t going to happen by accident.

We have to know what we want. Then we must decide to commit to it. Take consistent action. And stay with it. No matter what.

That’s what it takes to make big things happen in our lives.

And I ask these questions not to guilt or shame you.

I ask because I want you to answer those questions for yourself.

Not for anyone else.

And then hopefully to deliberately choose and commit to what you want to create in 2022.

After all, that’s the entire purpose of my business. I’m here to help people just like you live into the career and life YOU want. And the truth is, you’ll never get there if you don’t know where “there” is.

You won’t get there by just going with the flow. Or waiting to see what happens. Or hoping that by some miracle the perfect life will fall in your lap.

Maybe it will.

But for most of us, we only get what we want when we know exactly that is and then fully commit to making it happen.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 060: How to Stop Making Decisions from Fear Jan 30, 2022

Show notes

Today I want to talk about two things that should never go together, and that is Decisions and Fear. Now, I’m usually not big on “should-ing yourself” so, when I say those two words decision and fear should never be used together, I mean it. It’s one of the most important rules for living a life free of regret.

Making fear-based decisions will never serve you. And I think we can all look at that statement and agree that it’s true. But still, when I reflect on my life and my experiences – friends, colleagues, myself, my coaching clients – it does feel like something we all do.

I mean, think about your own life experiences. How many times have you made a certain decision so you could avoid an outcome you don’t want instead of making a choice based only on what you DO want?

As humans, this is kind of how we roll. So, if this sounds like you, you’re not alone. In fact, according to a recent study, more than 80% of our choices are fear-based. That study defines fear-based decisions as ‘being afraid of what will happen if we don’t make a certain choice as opposed to making decisions based on what we really DO want in our life.’ So basically, making the safe choice instead of the choice we really want is a good way to think about it.

Fear is part of life. And as humans our primitive brain is wired to keep us safe. So, it’s natural that when we’re faced with a big and potentially scary decision, our primitive brain will kick into high gear and try to influence our decision-making so we avoid the potential downsides of that decision.

But we can overcome that part of our brain. And doing so requires conscious decision-making. So in this episode, we’re going to explore this issue and how to make decisions in a way that serves you.

For more, give the episode a listen.

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Ep 059: Five Steps to Knowing and Getting What You Want Jan 23, 2022

Show notes

Ever since I aired episode #56 on “Your One Big Crazy Goal”, I’ve received so many DMs and emails from you guys. So. Many. And they all say some version of the same thing, which is “But I just don’t know what I really want.”

If that’s you, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

“I don’t know what I want” is absolutely one of the most common things my clients say. And if you think about it, that’s not particularly surprising. After all, we’re talking career and business on this podcast. So, knowing what you want is ideally guiding you along your path. I mean…who wants to get 10, 20, 30 years into your career, only to find yourself miserable and going through the motions. Living for Fridays and dreading Monday mornings.

It happens to too many of us.

To reinforce this theme, episode #3 of this podcast which talks about “Knowing what you really want” is a different way into that same topic and it just happens to be the most listened to of the podcast even though it’s a year old now.

And I’m sure you’ve heard friends, family (or maybe even yourself) say something like, “Well I know what I don't want but I have no idea what I do want.”

This is a human challenge. It’s not unique to you.

So, I share all of that because I want you to know that if you haven’t figured out your thing yet – even if you’re well into your career at this point – you’re not alone. And the sad truth is, some people NEVER do. Because it takes a little work.

And I REALLY don’t want that to be you. Because I believe that knowing what you want is related to your purpose. To the reason you’re here. Without getting too into the woo here, I believe we all came into this world with our unique set of strengths. And those strengths are strongly related to what we’re meant to contribute to the world during our time here. I deeply believe this.

So, because this theme of not knowing what you want is so widespread, I wanted to do an episode dedicated to anyone who hasn’t yet connected to their heart’s desire. And I wanted to give you five steps to doing that.

Notice I didn’t say ‘easy’ steps. Because while it’s very important that we do connect to what we really want and these five steps will get you there, it’s kinda complicated. And here’s why. Because to really connect to it, you’ll have to get past the voices of others and your own inner fears so you can listen to the part of you that knows the truth.

And while I know it might not feel that way right now, you DO know the truth. Some part of you DOES know what you want. There’s just been a lot of distraction and noise and outside influences that have gotten in the way. And it’s made it really hard to hear what that part of you is trying to tell you.

I did a worksheet for this episode to help you do the exploratory. So, you might want to hit pause while you go out to thepurposefulcareer.com/whatyouwant and download it. You can also get there by going to Insta and hitting the link in my bio which will take you to that page. And while you’re there, please follow us. We’re just starting to focus on growing our social presence and there’s going to be lots of fun new things coming. So, head on over to Insta and let’s connect. Also, we’d just love to get to know you.

So, this episode is going to be a good one. It’s going to be a very step by step how to with a little context behind each so you understand some of the issues that’ll come up for you as you try to connect to what you reall

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Ep 058: How to Stop the Chronic Overworking Jan 16, 2022

Show notes

Today I want to talk about the issue of chronic overworking. It’s a widespread in corporate America but for entrepreneurs as well.

A few decades ago, laptops and cellphones blurred the lines between work and home. And for many, it took away clear boundaries. It made it harder to be clear around when work for the day stops, and for many people, quite simply, it doesn’t.

And now, with the rise of remote work during the pandemic, the boundaries are even blurrier because now our home IS the workplace. And if THAT’S true, can we EVER stop working?

And it’s not just the corporate types that struggle with this. It’s long been an issue for entrepreneurs as well. While in theory, business owners can set their hours and work when they choose, the truth is, it’s not that simple for many. And this is getting to the heart of the issue. Chronic overworking is about so much more than choosing the hours you work or having a lot to get done or whatever. It’s about something much deeper. And that’s what we’re going to explore in this episode.

Now it’s important to know, when I talk about overworking here, I’m not referring to short periods of intense work when you’re trying to hit a specific deadline. I’m talking here about when overworking has become ingrained. It’s a habit. It’s part of our life.

And for some that’ll happen periodically. For others, it’s just the way they live, permanently. This is going to be an interesting one, so let’s dive in.

When you look at the issue logically, overworking can seem super easy to solve. Just set clear boundaries and live within those. But the truth is, chronic overworking is complicated. It’s about far more than the work that needs to get done. It’s primarily caused by what we THINK and how we FEEL about the work that needs to get done AND by our assessment of our ability to be successful at it.

So, while other well-meaning family and friends might tell you “Just shut it off at 5”, the issue runs much deeper than that. Chronic overworking is typically caused by feelings of stress or anxiety that can get triggered in two ways:

1. They can be triggered by external forces. So, through the expectations or culture of our employer or boss.

2. Or two, and I think even more commonly, the feelings of stress and anxiety get triggered INTERNALLY, because of something we either want to do and fear we can’t. OR, because of something that’s happening around us that we interpret in a way that triggers our stress and anxiety. So, we overwork to self-soothe ourselves. To make it easier to cope with these unpleasant feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, fear, not feeling good enough or whatever.

Whether the feelings of anxiety or stress are coming from external or internal forces, our default response to those negative feelings is the same. We work longer and harder to give ourselves a false sense of control and to ease the anxiety and stress we feel.

So, we work all the time. Nights. Weekends. We answer emails at all hours of the night and it’s the first thing we check when we wake up in the morning. We don’t take a lunch break or any break really. We skip vacations or we work through vacations. While the rest of the family is frolicking on the beach, we’re glued to our phone or sneaking in calls to the office while we think no one is looking.

Sound familiar? I know it does for me.
For more, give the episode a listen.

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 057: How to Take Control of Your Emotions Jan 08, 2022

Show notes

Today I was originally going to talk about something else, but in the past week I had several coaching clients that were all struggling with how they feel about their job or career. Apparently, there was something about being off for a week or two around the holiday and then suddenly being back to work on January 3rd that triggered it.

For some, the abrupt shift from days of leisure to the 9-5 structure that caused them to feel unfocused and overwhelmed.

For others, being back in the routine was a harsh reminder that they don’t like their job or their career path or their business much anymore. (And yes, much as many corporate types might fantasize about it, even successful entrepreneurs sometimes struggle with not liking or being into what they do anymore).

And because this was such a pervasive theme AND because I keep seeing all the headlines around record job resignations, I wanted to talk today about ‘taking charge of your feelings.’

Now before we get into it, I have a little disclaimer. This is not about pretending to feel positive when you really feel crappy. That isn’t true and it doesn’t work. This is learning how to take control of your emotional health. And it’s super helpful whether you’re someone who struggles with impatience (like I used to), if you tend toward pessimism or self-doubt or judgement or defensiveness or insecurity.

And by the way, we all do at times. So, I think this is going to be super helpful for everyone in both their career and life, so let’s dive in.

Before we get into what’s behind our emotions or mood, let’s talk about the impact our emotions have on well everything. Our life, our relationships, our performance, our health. All of it.

And for this, a super helpful tool is called The Mood Elevator.

It was developed by Larry Senn, a leading organizational development consultant. And he’s written a book by the same name, so if you find this concept of interest you might want to check it out.

As an overview, this is a visual tool that looks at our emotional state like an elevator with different floors. On the lower floors are things like impatience, pessimism, irritation, worry, anxiety, burnout, stress, defensiveness, insecurity.

And on the upper floors are things like gratitude, creativity, resourcefulness, hopefulness, optimism, humor, patience, understanding.

The idea with the Mood Elevator is to first understand the relationship between the “level” of your mood and your behavior or performance. And then to learn how to elevate your mood to a ‘higher’ floor if needed.

Because if you’re on the lower floors of that elevator and feeling things like anxiety, stress, insecurity or irritation you can see how that will impact what you do and how you show up around others. It might affect the things you say, how you interact with others, how you treat yourself maybe by overeating or not sleeping or whatever. It might also be the catalyst behind other unhelpful behaviors like procrastination, perfectionism, fear and hiding.

On the other hand, if you’re on the upper floors and feeling things like patience, understanding, gratitude and optimism, you can see how that would have you showing up completely differently. Your relationships with others would thrive. Your productivity and work quality would be great. And you’re likely to stay on plan when it comes to your self-care.

The idea basically is to stay out of the mood basement and get to a higher mood floor.
For

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Ep 056: Setting a Big Crazy Goal for the New Year Jan 01, 2022

Show notes

Well hello Friends!

I hope you guys had an amazing week!

A few days ago, I shared a bonus episode called Starting Strong.

And in that, I shared three filters to keep in mind when choosing your goals for the year. So, if you haven’t had a chance to check it out, do go back and give the episode a listen. Because it’ll be super helpful context for what we’re discussing today which is “One Big Impossible Goal.”

A few years ago, my thinking around goals changed.

You see, in the past, I mostly based my annual goals on where I was in that moment. And mostly, if I’m being honest, they were about fixing or next leveling something about myself or my life that I wasn’t entirely satisfied with. So, it was the usual stuff like eating healthier or making more money or finding the next level job or whatever.

On the one hand, that made sense because it was kind of like giving myself an annual tune-up. I mean, nothing wrong with doing a little course correction, right?

And that’s probably true so long as that’s not ALL you’re doing. If those little course corrections are just part of the goals picture for the year, then using some of your effort to make strategic adjustments to certain aspects of your career or life makes total sense.

But here’s the thing.

If you approach ALL your annual goals like that, it’s limiting. Because that means you’re basing everything on your present self. On results you already have that you now want to tweak.

That’s why I say it’s limiting. Because it’s only focused on the parameters of where your life is right now. If you base your future goals solely on where you are…then that means your future can only be a slightly better version of where or who you currently are.

And while that sounds fine at first glance, the downside is that it means that everything that isn’t in your life right now – anything completely new or transformative – is off the table.

And since this is the start of a brand-new year, I think it’s worth asking yourself an important question: Why settle for a tweak when you can transform?

I know transform sounds like a big scary word. But it doesn’t have to be.

We’ve all transformed a lot throughout our lives. We’ve learned new, life changing things like how to walk when we were a toddler. Or how to read and write in elementary school. How to drive a car when we turned 16. How to be a parent when we have kids. How to master a new job skill.

But somewhere along the line as we get past early adulthood things change. At least for most of us.

It’s like once we’re out of school and we settle on a path – the job, the relationship, the kids, the city, the friends – we start to settle into those boundaries.

I think most of the time we don’t even think about it. Or realize it. It just happens.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

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