The Purposeful Career Podcast

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Ep 075: I'm Not Good Enough (Lies We Tell Ourselves #3 of 5) May 16, 2022

Show notes

For the last few weeks, we’ve been focused on a series called “The Lies We Tell Ourselves.”

This is a relevant topic when it comes to our career because it’s important to understand all the ways that unconscious thinking can hold us back if we’re not careful. Specifically, how the things we tell ourselves – things we may or may not always be thinking at a conscious level – get in the way of what we want to do with our career and life.

The first two episodes in the series explored a few of the most common ‘lies’ we tell ourselves, which are “It’s too late” and “I don’t know how.”

If you haven’t done so already, you might want to check out episodes 73 and 74 because they offer up an interesting perspective about how programmed patterns of thought can get us stuck and some helpful ways to break that cycle. So, you might want to go back and give that a listen.

This week we’re going to talk about another common lie that we tell ourselves. It’s one that so many people struggle with at one time or another in some aspect of their life. And that is the lie, “I’m not good enough.”

To clarify, what we’re going to talk about isn’t about trying something and just not feeling like you were very good at it. That happens. And when it’s something new, it’s usually true that we’re not very good at it. Most of the time, it takes practice and repetition before we master something new or feel like we’re good at it. And that’s not what I’m talking about here.

This episode pertains to a persistent recurring pattern of thought around ‘not being good enough.’ So today, we’re going to explore the impact this thought can have if it’s something you think on a regular basis. And then I’ll offer up a few ways you can start to shift out of this negative thought pattern.

This is going to be an interesting and I think very helpful episode for so many of us. So, let’s dive in.

Now, as we’ve talked about before on this podcast, we’re not always aware of that inner dialogue we all have. Sometimes we’re tuned in to our thoughts. But many times, we’re not. So, if that’s you, you might be thinking, “Well, I don’t know if I think I’m not good enough.”

The important thing to know is that our brain works fast. According to neuroscientists we have around 60,000 thoughts a day. Whatever the actual number, it’s a lot of thoughts. So of course, we’re not aware of each one.

Many times, that internal monologue is just running below the surface, kind of like that ticker at the bottom of the 24-hour news channel. They’re just there, always running, always scrolling by. And sometimes we tune into them and sometimes we don’t.

But even if we don’t consciously tune in, those thoughts are still having an impact on us. They affect our mood. They’re the source of our emotions. And since we know that everything we do or don’t do is caused by how we’re feeling, it’s important to start tuning into or gaining some level of awareness into the quality of your thoughts.
For more, give the episode a listen.

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 074: I Don't Know How (Lies We Tell Ourselves #2 of 5) May 09, 2022

Show notes

Last week we started a new series called Lies We Tell Ourselves. And I know that’s a provocative title. You might see that title and think “I don’t tell myself lies.”

And listen, I get it.

But I chose that title because I think it’s important to acknowledge the ways that our thoughts affect our lives. And how the things we tell ourselves – things we may or may not always be *consciously thinking* – get in the way of the things we really want in our life.

The truth is that we all lie to ourselves at times. And not because we want to or consciously choose to. It’s not on purpose. It’s because of how our human brain works.

It’s about the primitive brain, the oldest part of our brain that’s in the back just above the brainstem. The primitive brain has been around since the dawn of man and it’s the part responsible for fight or flight.

Its job is to sense danger and keep us safe. This is what kept our caveman ancestors alive instead of getting eaten by the lion.

So, that part of your brain doesn’t like change. It categorizes change or “new” as dangerous.

What it *really likes* is for everything to stay the same. It wants you to be safe. So, in order to be safe, it needs to convince you to stay away from high risk activities.

And when it comes to your career, when we let the primitive brain be in charge, it will try to convince you to keep things the way they are. It’ll convince you to not make any big changes or put yourself out into the world in new ways. Ways that have the potential for failure.

So, as we talked about last week, typically these “Lies We Tell Ourselves” happen when there’s something big and new that we want to do in our career or life.

Like a new job.

A promotion.

Starting a side hustle or business.

Or in our personal life, may it’s about losing weight.

Or starting or leaving an important relationship.

Because what we’re thinking of doing is new. Or maybe because you’ve tried the thing before and failed, your brain classifies those things as too risky or dangerous, so it serves up a thought designed to create fear or uncertainty.

It does that because it knows that if you’re feeling uncertain, you’re less likely to follow-through and actually DO that scary thing you’re thinking of doing.

Instead, if you believe whatever lie your brain serves up about the danger of the thing, you instead might choose to just stay where you’re at. To maintain the status quo in your career or life. And that decision makes the primitive brain incredibly happy. It got what it wanted. It kept you safe.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 073: It's Too Late (Lies We Tell Ourselves #1 of 5) Apr 30, 2022

Show notes

Before we get started on today’s topic, I want to officially welcome you to May. Can you believe we’re already a third of the way through 2022?

I really can’t.

But I will say that for me, 2022 has been amazing so far and I hope it’s been that way for you too.

I’ve never been more productive – at work, in my business or at home. I think I’ve told you guys before, but I discovered this cognitive-based coaching approach back in 2018 and since then, I’ve been doing the daily self-coaching that’s at the center of it, I’ve invested in my own coaches, and I’ve discovered things – beliefs and limiting thoughts – that I honestly never knew that I had.

Thoughts around time and age and relationships and reinvention and MONEY. I had no idea until I started to unwind my mind that those were in there. I had to get in touch with what I’m thinking. To get curious about the role those thoughts were playing in my life and to begin to believe new thoughts. Thoughts that served me.

This coaching approach has given me the courage to make very purposeful but unconventional choices in my corporate career. Choices that three or four years ago would have seemed unthinkable, but which have not only served me, they’ve also helped me to fully realize so many dreams. And have made this business possible. It’s helped me tackle some of my biggest personal challenges with being consistent around fitness goals and some personal relationship goals. I’ve started to write again. For those who don’t know, I published a few romantic comedies in 2012 and 2015 under a pen name. They were fun, lighthearted stories that are just intended to offer and escape and a smile. I stopped doing that in 2015 because I told myself I didn’t have time and that my job was too demanding. But now, I’ve started again. About halfway through book three. And it really feeds my spirit. And last but certainly not least, I’ve now got a successful business – THIS business, The Purposeful Career – and I’m getting ready to launch another that will serve a different segment. More on that later.

My point in telling you this is not to brag or not because I want this podcast to be about me, because I don’t. I want it to be about YOU. What YOU want. But I tell you this because the only way these things have become possible for me is through becoming aware of the thoughts that I had that I just thought were TRUE, but which were holding me back from fully realizing my potential and honestly, from what I truly wanted.

This coaching approach has opened my world. It’s changed my life.

For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 072: Your Brand Image (Personal Branding #3 of 3) Apr 25, 2022

Show notes

This episode is the last of our three-part series on personal branding.

So as a reminder, two weeks ago in the first episode in this series, we talked about how to create your brand reputation *on purpose*. That one was all about being intentional about what kind of brand experience you create when you work with others. Meaning, what it’s like for your colleagues and boss to work with you. This is about the things you do day in and day out which, over time, creates the reputation you develop within your career.

And *last* week, we talked about how to create your personal brand positioning statement. This is all about getting clear on who you are, what matters to you and what you uniquely offer that is different from others. It’s about defining your unique strengths and attributes – the things that set you apart from everyone else – and aligning them with what your employer or clients are looking for from you. Its typically one sentence the succinctly and powerfully sums up who you are and what you have to offer.

There are so many ways this comes in handy.

I encourage my clients to use this sentence as the lead headline on their resume.

I teach them how to story tell around the statement during interviews.

And it's also a very helpful filter for evaluating all kinds of things – from potential jobs to the types of companies, cultures or bosses best align with who you are – and ultimately it helps to direct the thing we’re going to talk about today which if your brand image.

So, if you haven’t listened to those two episodes yet, you might want to go back and give them a listen. Because they’re going to offer you so many practical tips on how to get clear on who you are and what you have to offer.

But today I want to talk about a third important aspect of personal branding which is, how to cultivate an intentional brand image.

Which means, how to define and curate the image you project to the world. Not because you’re trying to get anyone else’s approval or conform to anyone’s narrow standard of how you should look.

Just the opposite.

When you cultivate a brand image that truly reflects who you are, it creates feelings of confidence. Pride. Empowerment.

And as we’ve shared before on this podcast, when you feel positive emotions, that leads you to take positive actions and you’ll get positive results. So, when you feel proud of the image you’re projecting in the world – when you truly feel that how you’re presenting yourself is a reflection of YOU – everything you feel and do will be about delivering the kinds of results you want in your life.

So, before we get into the episode, I want to go a little deeper on what I shared a second ago.

What we’re going to discuss about your personal brand image is NOT about pleasing anyone else or conforming to anyone else’s view of how you should look.

It’s not intended to be any sort of statement about what’s acceptable or what’s not.

And it’s not intended to make any sort of statement about any aspect of what makes each of us unique and special. So, we’re not talking gender identity, race, age, body type, ethnicity, or any other attribute.

But what we ARE going to talk about today is WHY we need to be intentional about how we choose to present ourselves to the world. And then how to go about doing that.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 071: Your Brand Positioning (Personal Branding #2 of 3) Apr 18, 2022

Show notes

In last week’s episode, we talked about how to intentionally shape your personal brand experience or what it’s like to interact or work with you. This is part of strategic brand development that works the same whether it’s about developing a company’s brand OR your own personal brand.

Anyway, that episode was so popular, and I heard from so many of you, that I decided to turn it into a three-part personal branding series. This is important for every stage of your career – whether you’re just getting started or whether you’ve reached the most senior levels because it ensures that you’re showing up as the person you’re intending to be.

This is also the first thing we work on in my monthly membership, Next Level. Because before we start working on all the *external things* you want to change – your job, your boss, your career path – we start *first* with working on YOU. We define who you are, what you want, what you’re good at, what’s important to you, how you want to show up, how you present yourself, what it’s like to interact with you. How you see yourself. What you’re telling yourself about you.

And we do this BEFORE we start making any external changes to your career or life. Why? Because no matter how many times you change jobs, bosses, or career paths – no matter how many businesses you start – you’re never going to get the things you want until you change YOURSELF.

Until you define exactly what you want and what you’re great at and how you want to spend your time and what you value in a boss, culture or company, you’re always going to be chasing happiness. And you’ll always believe that it’s somewhere else. And while it very well *might* be somewhere else, sometimes – many times, actually – you can find the happiness and fulfillment you’re looking for right where you’re standing.

If I could tell you how very long and how very many job changes and city changes, I had to go through before I realized that…Holy Moly.

So, think of this three-part series as an inner exploration that makes all the outer success that you’re looking for possible. And trust me when I tell you it can save you time, money, heartache, frustration. All of it.

Anyway, last week’s episode was all about how you conduct yourself in the work environment. The personal brand experience you create when others work with you which goes a long way toward shaping your brand reputation, or the things you’re known for. But today, we’re going to talk about a different aspect of personal branding and that is your personal brand positioning.

Now in marketing terms, a brand positioning is defined as how a brand is *different from* its competition. Or another way to think about it is what its known for in the minds of customers. A lot of things go into this include what a brand is good at, known for and uniquely delivers.

And this is equally important when it comes to you. To *your* personal brand. Because in my experience of working with hundreds of people as either clients in my business or people I’ve led in my career, very few of them can articulate what they’re great at. And this is true across all career stages – even people at the very top of the organization.

Now, you might be wondering why this is a problem. Like, why isn’t it enough that I’m just good at the job I do? And my answer is that if you want to truly be fulfilled in your career – to max out your earning potential, to love what you do AND the people you do it with – you have to understand

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 070: Your Brand Reputation (Personal Branding #1 of 3) Apr 11, 2022

Show notes

Today I want to talk about creating and managing your personal brand reputation.

This is a super interesting topic for me because for most of my corporate career, I’ve been a brand strategist. That means that I’ve spent my career creating and reinventing the brand image of the companies I’ve worked for. It’s a fun and creative field and there are a lot of things that go into doing this, but one of the most important things is to create a meaningful brand experience for customers. That is, to intentionally shape valuable and memorable experiences that customers will have with your brand. These things can create trust and loyalty and passion.

This is important because more than the things a company says through its advertising or marketing, the actual experience customers have with the brand will do more to shape its image and reputation than almost anything else a brand can do.

That’s where hardcore brand loyalty comes from. And, once that image is established in the minds of customers – whether good OR bad – it can be hard to change. And they can do all the strategy work and spend millions and millions of dollars in advertising trying to reposition, but if a certain image or reputation exists, it can be really hard to shift out of that.

Meaning, if a brand is beloved by customers they’ll put up with mistakes and stumbles, unfortunate decisions, price increases, lack of inventory and more before they’ll stop buying. It’s like a well of trust has been built and it can take quite awhile before that goodwill starts to erode. Anyone remember the see-through yoga pants scandal from Lululemon a few years ago? For a more fledgling brand, this could have shut them down for good but for Lululemon’s customer base, it was barely a blip on the radar. Or how about the diehard loyalty of Apple enthusiasts. I know I’m one of them. So much so that I’d never even consider a phone from another manufacturer, and I don’t even look at their attributes or price compare. For me, it’s just always going to be an Apple iPhone and that’s that.

Conversely, for a brand that hasn’t built up a lot of customer goodwill, it only takes one or two significant bumps before its reputation or sales can take a nosedive. That’s because there’s a lack of brand reputation and trust so whatever goodwill they might have built up is shallower and it doesn’t take long for it to erode.

But what I wanted to ask you today is whether you’ve thought about this same paradigm when it comes to YOUR personal brand reputation within your career? Because it’s the same for you as it is for the companies I just described.

Within the businesses we work in, each of us are ‘known’ for a set of things. And every time we do something or interact with people – our boss, our teammates, or colleagues – whether it’s in a formal setting, around the watercooler or on Zoom, the things we say and do combine and build to become how we’re perceived by others.

Most of us recognize this to the extent that we know the quality of work we do is important.

BUT what many of us DON’T know is how the more informal things we do – the day-to-day or moment-to-moment interaction we have with others – comes together to create the reputation we have with our colleagues. And once we’re known for a set of things – whether good or bad or whether fair or unfair in our view – it can be very hard to shift that image in the minds of our boss or colleagues.

This is important to know and understand.

And that’s

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 069: Getting & Staying Motivated Apr 03, 2022

Show notes

In today's episode, we’re going to talk about what’s behind motivation. Meaning, what galvanizes us to do or not do the things we want in our lives.

Because I’ve always wondered that, haven’t you?

Like how come sometimes we can feel an unstoppable drive to go after or tackle something new or hard. And other times we just ignore the big things we want to achieve and instead of going after them, we camp out on the sofa binge-watching Netflix.

Do you look for motivation within yourself or do you expect it to come from something outside of you – like a reward or inspiration or maybe for you it’s about an impending deadline.

How many times have you told yourself “I’m just not motivated right now.”?

And how has that affected your life or career?

For example, let’s say you want to lose the 30 pounds you gained during Covid. But you keep putting off the healthier eating protocol and the trips to the gym because you tell yourself you’ll do it later. Either tomorrow or next week or next year.

I think the idea of later has stolen more dreams from more people than almost anything else. Because when we tell ourselves we’ll do it “later” we feel better in the moment because we’ve told ourselves that we’re still going to do it…just not right now. So, we take the pressure off ourselves because we don’t have to endure the discomfort of starting something hard and we keep the dream alive by telling us we’re going to do it someday.

But then what usually happens? For most of us, later ultimately turns into never.

Or let’s say you really want a new job or maybe you want to start that side hustle or business you’ve been dreaming about. You know the market is hot right now but for some reason, you just can’t get yourself motivated.

You tell yourself you want to get ahead, you want to make more money, but you keep putting off the networking, the searching for new opportunities. You don’t dust off the resume or start working on the business plan because it feels too hard. You just don’t feel motivated to do it.

So many of us make the idea of motivation mean that it’s something outside our control. That it’s something we will feel only after the right thing is said to us or there’s an important enough deadline or consequence looming to finally get us off the couch and doing something.

We think motivation is a magical thing that comes from somewhere else, and we’re sort of waiting for it to, metaphorically speaking, fly through an open window and whip us into action.

But that idea of motivation never works over the long term.

The idea that something outside us can make us motivated just doesn’t work. Like a looming deadline or the promise of a big reward might galvanize us ahead for a short time, but it won’t be sustainable.

In today’s episode, I want to offer up a psychology-based theory on where motivation comes from and how to cultivate it in yourself. It’s called the Self-Determination theory. And I think you’ll find it super interesting.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 068: How to Be Kinder to Yourself Mar 27, 2022

Show notes

Today we’re going to discuss how you talk to or treat yourself when you’ve made a mistake, or maybe when you’ve not shown up as your best. And specifically, what to do when we have a habit of beating ourselves up for that.

For example…

Let’s say you lose your patience with a friend or co-worker and say some things you wish you hadn’t.

Or maybe you take on new responsibilities at work and give it your absolute best but in your view (or maybe your boss’s) you come up short.

When you do something that you regret or show up as less than your best, how do you handle it?

Do you roll with it and vow to do better next time? Or do you obsess and overthink and beat yourself up?

How many mistakes and regrets from your past are you still punishing yourself for – either in your personal or professional life?

This is important to know because how we talk to and treat ourselves matters.

We all know that none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. We all show up sometimes as less than we know we can be. But some of us find it easier to accept that while others spend their entire lives punishing themselves for every way they believe they’ve stumbled a little.

Being self-aware that you’ve fallen a little short of expectations – your own or others – is a good thing. We can learn from those situations and ideally vow to show up better next time we’re in that situation.

But too often, instead of using that self-awareness of the mistake or failure or regretful thing to improve how we show up going forward, many of us will instead compound that thing we regret by lashing out at ourselves.

Because for some, the self-awareness and feelings of regret can trigger an overactive Inner Critic who might make the problem even worse by beating ourselves up. And instead of looking for the lessons to fuel a better performance in the future, we can erode our self esteem and confidence by bullying and berating ourselves endlessly for what we did wrong. And that can really hold us back in our career. It can keep us stuck in fear and uncertainty and regret and make our life less joyful than it could be.

For so many of us it’s too easy to be tough on ourselves and it’s a regular habit. And the problem with that is that instead of realizing that the problem is coming from habitual negative patterns of thought, we can make the mistake of thinking that nasty voice in our head just knows the truth about us.

So, for all you perfectionists and overthinkers and self-doubters, this is for you. Even if beating up on yourself has become a life- long habit that’s deeply ingrained. The important thing to know is that you can shift out of that habit by learning how to practice self-compassion.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 067: The Luck Adjustment (#2 of 2) Mar 20, 2022

Show notes

So last week I introduced you to the work of Dr. Richard Wiseman who did a ten-year study on Luck. And we talked about the four principles he says that all lucky people share that he developed based on that study. So, if you haven’t listened to that, go back, and give Episode 66 a listen. It’s a great perspective.

But that episode might’ve left you wondering what you do if you’re at the opposite end of the spectrum. If you feel like you’re Unlucky. Or maybe that, no matter what you do or what you try, you just can’t seem to catch a break.

Well, this episode is for you because I’m going to share some wisdom from Max Gunther, a British American journalist who, like Richard Wiseman, also wrote a book called The Luck Factor. And in that book, he shared five rules for changing your luck.

If all this talk about luck, has you feeling like you need a little Luck Adjustment, this episode is for you. So, let’s dive in.

As a journalist exploring the idea of Luck, Max Gunther claims to have spoken to and interviewed close to a thousand people from all walks of life. Gamblers, business leaders, psychiatrists, and everyday people. These people ran the gamut from extraordinarily lucky to incredibly unlucky. And from those conversations, he learned that of course, the ideas about what makes people lucky varies widely. But when he looked deeper, he found that there are five outstanding characteristics that distinguish lucky people from Unlucky people.

These five characteristics are their ways of being. And they reflect everything from attitudes about themselves and others and an inner talk track that serves them. So first, I’ll share the five characteristics and then we’ll take them one by one.

1. Lucky people use a spiderweb structure.

2. Lucky people have a very strong hunching skill.

3. Lucky people live boldly.

4. Lucky people move quickly to mitigate the downside.

5. Lucky people have a healthy pessimism.
For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

Ep 066: The Luck Factor (#1 of 2) Mar 13, 2022

Show notes

So, in just a few days, we’ll be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. And in honor of that day when we tend to celebrate Irish culture and all things Irish, I wanted to talk today about “Luck.”

That might seem a little ‘out there’ when talking about career but hang with me because I’m going to talk about what it means to have “The Luck Factor” and four principles you can use to apply this to your own career and life.

You’ve probably heard the term “Luck of the Irish.” I did a little research on that term because I always thought it referred to the good fortune of the people of Ireland. But, according to Edward T. O’Donnell, a profession of history at Holy Cross College and author of 1001 Things Everyone Should know about Irish American History, the phrase *isn’t* about that.

The phrase Luck of the Irish was coined in the late 19th century during the gold and silver rush years in the U.S. Apparently, some of the most famous and successful miners were of Irish and Irish American birth. Mining – especially in those days – was highly speculative and of course, many speculators flamed out. But many of those of Irish descent seemed to have an intuitive knack for it. And over time, the association between success and Irish became known as “Luck of the Irish.”

But we’re not going to talk about mining or celebrating Irish Culture on today’s episode. Instead, we’re going to talk about how to be luckier as it relates to your career and life. And how anyone can follow four principles to learn *how* to be luckier.

So, pour yourself an Irish Coffee or a glass of green beer, and let’s dive in.

Now, I want to begin by asking you a few questions when it comes to luck in your career or life.

· Have you ever wondered why opportunity seems to chase some people down while others struggle to get ahead?

· Have you ever wondered why some people seem to race up the corporate ladder while others, just as talented or maybe even more talented, struggle?

· Have you ever wondered why some people go from miserable job to miserable job (or relationship to relationship) while others find themselves making decisions that better serve them?

· Is luck random? Or do you believe anyone can learn to be luckier?

Well, according to Richard Wiseman, a professor of psychology in Britain, who wrote a book called The Luck Factor, there are indeed people who are luckier in life but it’s not a random thing. He says that lucky people tend to take advantage of life’s good breaks while minimizing the effects of bad breaks.

And he should know because his observation came from a study of hundreds of people – both lucky and unlucky – that he did over a decade. From that study, he developed four psychological principles used by lucky people to create their good fortune. And these are principles any of us can learn and put into practice.

From that study he hypothesized that lucky people invest themselves in a wide array of activities, which means they then have a greater potential for more experiences, more connections with people and therefore, more chances to experience good luck.
Join us for this episode to learn practical ways to bring more good fortune into your life.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.

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