So, Here's My Story... - TopPodcast.com

Latest Episodes:

Ep40: There is an I in team Mar 13, 2018

Show notes

It isn’t uncommon for businesses to be stalled by interpersonal conflict, which seems like it might call for some serious Business Couples Counseling. But at the root of that conflict can be a more technical problem with an easier fix.

When the emotional meets the operational – that’s the topic of this episode of So Here’s My Story.

Why is that important for business?

Interpersonal conflicts – that bone on bone friction; the assigning of intent with assumptions instead of being curious – often bubbles to the surface more than simply dysfunction in dealing with personal disputes. Often, it points to operational issues that require attention.

There is conflict because something needs to be defined; there needs to be structure. There is a special chaotic hell when you don’t have enough structure – it is what gives freedom.

“There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. 'How much do you love me?' And, 'Who's in charge?' Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief, and suffering.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

The key here is finding the right amount of guardrails that allow you to go fast without careening off of the cliff.

So often we separate the personal and the science (the operations and the structures) of business without realizing that they influence each other.

“Let’s move away from this ‘there is no I in team’, to ‘teams are made of nothing but I’s that just want to fit in’”.

When you shore up an operational flaw, it immediately relieves pressure on the interpersonal relationships; it puts cartilage back in between the bones and reduces the friction.

Everyone’s decision matrix is invisible to everyone else. When you can make that invisible piece visible, it can help take care of the individual I’s that make up your team.

What story do you want to tell?

So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup

OR...

Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast

Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

Want to support us?

Love this podcast?

Please tell your friends, post about us, or take moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

Ep39: How to Combat Your Inner Business Toddler Mar 06, 2018

Show notes

In business, emotions can run high. And when emotions are high, often our inner Business Toddler comes out, which can make professional discourse seem impossible. In those moments, all of our instincts are counterproductive to a healthy work environment.

So what do we do about it?

Let’s talk about it in this episode of So Here’s My Story.

Why is that important for business? Often, sorting out business issues often comes down to what is essentially business couples therapy. And these individual disputes often come down to a simple decision: “Am I more attached to being right, or solving the problem?”

Almost all of our instincts in highly emotional situations - especially those situations where we are trying to be professional – actually make the problems worse. Like when a toddler is acting out, we need to ask ourselves what unmet need is being expressed by the unwanted behaviour. And when things go wrong in business or life, adults often revert to the flailing emotional responses of a toddler. In those moments, we can either be superior, or we can address the problem from a place of empathy and curiosity.

It can feel great to put the person acting out “in their place”. It feels good to acknowledge “Mic Drop” conversations. But it is counter intuitive; the cutting comment rarely solves the problem. Like eating 2 Krispy Kreme donuts, it can feel satisfying in the moment, but leave you with regret later.

In those moments, as a leader, we need to ask ourselves “do I want to lead, or do I want to win?” Because the person who has the opportunity to change this dynamic is not the person having the bad reaction. That is the role of the listener.

But what if the person behaving badly is the leader? People tend to think leadership is a destination, but the further up you go, the more insecure you are, and the less certain you are about your choices because there is less of a path to follow. People stop telling you that you are doing a good job and start treating you like you are infallible. We must listen to our leaders with the same empathy, the same curiosity, and try to discern the unmet need.

We need to see through the lens of empathy, even if they are the leader, and just be curious.

What story do you want to tell? So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours! Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup OR... Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

Want to support us? Love this podcast? Please tell your friends, post about us, or take moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

Ep38: When Knowledge Isn't Enough Feb 27, 2018

Show notes

Have you ever been given information – fascinating information, even – that you almost immediately forgot? There was most likely a critical piece missing in your education on that topic - the stark difference between knowledge and knowing just enough to get hurt.

And that is the subject of this episode.

Why is that important for business?

Generally speaking, people know the right thing to do. What they need is practice on how to do it. This is the difference between hearing something and knowing something, and it can make all the difference to the culture and the operations of a company. We are too often given knowledge, but not made comfortable in the art of conversation of conveying that information or using that information in practice.

When you hear something - even if you are amazed by that information – the brain is still in a relatively dormant state. If you introduce it into practice, however, then neurons start to fire, and the information begins to be coded in your brain. In fact, if something is explained to you, 10 minutes after you will retain but 10%. But if you are involved - if there is a story that you can place yourself into the context of the information, or if you interact with the information in some way - retention goes up to 60%.

Companies often go through long process, and somehow stumble their way through complex issue to get to a conclusion that is really well thought out. But then they want to tell everyone in the company their conclusion and expect people to catch on where their brain left off. The journey is important; it is critical to find ways to involve people along the way. Not including them doesn’t preclude their ideas or stop them from sticking their oar in after the fact, so you aren’t saving time by doing it yourself.

If, as a leader, you are frustrated that your people don’t think things through thoroughly or in the way that you do, it’s because they don’t have line of sight to the same things that you do. Play the mental video for them in slow motion so that they can see all of the things that you are thinking about, and then they will start to see what you see, as well as things that you don’t see.

It is important to not just know the right thing to do, but to really dive deep on equipping people with the familiar ground of how to do it.

What story do you want to tell? So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Pull up a chair and join the conversation in our Facebook Group: bit.ly/shmsgroup OR... Shoot us an email: talktous@soheresmystory.com Connect with @SHMSpodcast on Twitter: https://twitter.com/shmspodcast Text the word STORY to 345345 to get access to bonus content and weekly episode delivery.

Want to support us? Love this podcast? Please tell your friends, post about us, or take moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

Ep37: Of Paper Towels and Nespresso Machines Feb 20, 2018

Show notes

Over at the World Wide So Here’s My Story Podcast Headquarters, we have lots of great discussions. But this one is special, because it all started with a trip to the washroom.

Solutions often have unintended consequences, consequences that could have easily been prevented with a little bit of forethought. And that’s what we are talking about in today’s episode.

Why is that important for business? In order to prioritize service, you have to make assumptions about what kind of services your customers want. And sometimes those solutions have unintended consequences, or completely misread the customer need.

Often, we neglect to ask ourselves: What would it look like to implement these strategies? What problems can we see if we think it through? It is really easy to throw out big ideas that sound like great solutions without thinking through how you would actually implement them operationally. And in order to think it through operationally, you have to talk to the people who are actually going to be taking the calls.

Sometimes, solutions offer access, but since part of your job may actually be anxiety management, knowing everything is often not a benefit to the client. If solutions aren’t focused on the user experience, they may not be helpful.

This isn’t about creating paralysis, of believing we must think of every possibility. But it can be helpful to have a heightened awareness that every solution comes with a new set of problems and trying to think through what those next set of problems might be.

At times, a short term solution can create a bigger long term problem, or a solution that makes sense operationally can cause cultural issues in a company. You are not going to decide the best escape route while flames lick under the door. You need to rehearse change. This is not about predicting the future, but about becoming a learning organization; this is not about stacking up regrets or creating indecision, but about being a beta test organization.

Want to support us? Love this podcast? Please tell your friends, post about us, or take moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

Ep36: The Massage Saga Continues... Feb 13, 2018

Show notes

Have you ever walked into a space, and something in the environment made you uncomfortable? Or maybe you entered a work space and thought “this space is perfectly suited to the work being done in it.”

Creating a space – whether the actual physical space, or even the virtual space – that supports the work you are trying to do is an oft ignored, but important aspect of your business. In this episode, we talk about what a massage treatment room has to teach us about matching our space to how we want our clients to feel.

Why is that important for business? The work environment can have a lot of impact on how clients feel. Yet not a lot of thought is given to “what do I want clients to feel?” and creating an environment to support that. Conference rooms, for example, are often interchangeable – they say nothing about the work being done in them, or the needs of those who use the space. What would it look like if you had an environment that worked for you?

You might think, “no one has ever walked in a room and said, ‘the ceiling height in here is perfect’”, yet people will walk into a space and think “I don’t like this environment”. They won’t usually ascribe it to the ceiling height – they may create a new story about what they don’t like (and that very well might become YOU) - but the stimulus that they are reacting to may actually be the ceiling height. These are the feelings that a space can create for people, including clients and potential clients. All without saying a word.

A big part of designing a space that supports your work is being clear on what your client is worried about and how you can assuage those worries and provide for those wants and needs in small ways. It is important to always be aware of the client’s emotional experience, and how you can craft it. How do you want people to feel, and how can you make them feel that way? What would make them feel the opposite?

This is more than just physical environment as well. You can create an environment with your words and emails and procedures. How you communicate says a lot about how you work.

You have an opportunity, in designing your environment, to demonstrate your priorities. What is your environment saying about you?

What story do you want to tell? So, that's our story... now, we want to hear yours!

Want to support us? Love this podcast? Please tell your friends, post about us, or take moment to review us & subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast!

Ep35: Want-Shaming Free Zone Feb 06, 2018

Show notes

Have you ever asked someone a question – a deeper question that gets at who they really are – and received an “I don’t know” in return? This episode is all about the really good conversations that are possible when you ask - in just the right way – who a person is and what their dreams are.

Why is that important for business? Sometimes, the best conversations are the ones you have to keep plugging away at. You are guaranteed to fail the first few times you try to get to the good conversation, but what you get – from your partners, your coworkers, your employees, or your clients – can change everything.

You may have to ask people things in different ways to get to their real response. It can, for instance, be easier to articulate what you don’t want than what you do want initially. You can’t always walk through the front door of learning; you have to find different ways in. This involves a real commitment to communication; it means fundamentally wanting to know what matters to someone else. When you do finally get to the real answers, often you will also find “want shame” – what people really want, they are often embarrassed to say. It is a vulnerable thing, to say what you really want, and most people aren’t going to give that up to someone the first time they ask. It requires a lot of trust.

If you are asking someone what they want, and you aren’t being genuinely curious, or you have an idea of what you want the answer to be, then don’t ask. If you get a response, part of your obligation of having pursued that response is – as it is in improv – “yes, and”. Start conversations because you want to understand the filter through which they view their experience, because that’s the wellspring of satisfaction. Seek first to understand; be curious. Stop short of making guesses about their behaviour.

What story do you want to tell? So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours! Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

Want to Connect? You can connect with us or tell your story… Email: talktous@heresmystory.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast Join the Facebook conversation at: bit.ly/SHMSGroup Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

Want to support us? Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast. We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement. Stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!

Ep34: Vibrancy in the Low Places Jan 30, 2018

Show notes

January can have a weird energy for many people, both personally and in business. And all of us, whatever our season of lower energy, could use a proactive plan to help us cope. In this episode, that’s exactly what Eliot and Jodi share.

Why is that important for business? Just like in our personal life, we can have hard seasons in our business life; a time of year where it is particularly hard, mentally, to be “up”. For Eliot, this is the time to focus on connecting with people, and with his points of light.

We can falsely create a sense of isolation around these seasons of lower energy and ignore that there are not only others who are experiencing similar feelings, but also that there is often an external factor at play, like the weather.

In these times, it can help to remember that when you feel lost in the forest, the trees know where you are.

“Lost” by David Whyte Stand still. The trees ahead and the bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here, And you must treat it as a powerful stranger, Must ask permission to know it and be known. The forest breathes. Listen. It answers, I have made this place around you, If you leave it you may come back again, saying Here.

No two trees are the same to Raven. No two branches are the same to Wren. If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you, You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows Where you are. You must let it find you.

The key to these low times is to plan something, proactively, that helps you through. For some, it fills their tank to see lots of people; for some, that drains their tank. But we all need some source of renewal when we feel this way. We all need to proactively find sources of nourishment; we need to make a conscious effort to find vibrancy in the low places.

What story do you want to tell? So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours! Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

Ep33: Own That Rant Jan 23, 2018

Show notes

Have you ever actually felt the exact moment that you lost all respect for a professional associate? In this episode, Eliot and Jodi discuss how straddling two messages in an attempt to be liked often ends in no one being served. For those moments when you are dedicated to something higher than “what the clients says they want”, this episode is for you.

Why is that important for business? Helping clients doesn’t always mean doing exactly what they say they want. You must make sure you are maintaining your professional responsibility to do not only your best work, but work that aligns with your values. The task of discerning and assigning where your allegiance and loyalty is critical. This allegiance is not just to a certain party – sometimes it is to an ideal or value, or to the client’s best interest. Sometimes it is displaying allegiance to say, “we can’t work together”. It is important to also consider the other side. This is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength, and of you being grounded in your profession and the desire to give the client’s what they most need, which is honest advice and not a cheerleader.

It is an act of love to be truthful and honest about what is really going on in the moment for your clients. And making sure you are not losing a sense of yourself when you are deciding what the client needs right now. Is that something I can provide? Can I do my best work with this client? If you are truly doing your best work, you are always willing to get fired. Often, the most important work you will do with clients isn’t to do what they ask of you. It is instead about separating the emotional response from the real need, and helping them find another way to get their real needs met. The most important skills you can cultivate are the ability to get to the bottom of the need they are trying to meet, and asking “What other solutions might scratch that itch?” This means asking “what problem are you trying to solve with that solution?” before deciding it is the best solution.

What story do you want to tell?

So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours! Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

Want to Connect? You can connect with us or tell your story… Email: talktous@soheresmystory.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast Join the Facebook conversation at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/429224897474701/about/ Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

Ep32: You Need a Kristi Jan 16, 2018

Show notes

Do you ever get stuck in overthinking? Either indecision or second guessing the decision you already made? Well, so has Jodi (not Eliot – he’s perfect!), and in this episode, we try to figure out why, and maybe even some solutions when you catch yourself in overthinking mode.

Why is that important for business?

Overthinking makes business not only harder, but getting stuck all of the time can also be really draining. And, as suggested by Jodi’s former coach, “stuck” often means that you know what you want but your are just not ready to admit it yet.

“Over-analysis is a form of denial. To over-analyze means that you have the correct answer but are refusing to accept it - you go on searching for the answer you would prefer rather than accept the truth. Remember that the truth for one is not necessarily the truth for another, and that the truth has a tendency to drive you crazy just before it sets you free. Perhaps what you once thought was craziness is simply what it takes to free yourself from outdated beliefs.”

Overthinking comes with a weird sense of pride, like perfectionism. It also comes with a lot of slogging. Often it shows up as either second guessing or indecision, and neither are fun.

The interesting thing about indecision is, as Jodi’s sister said: “if you are having that much trouble deciding, it probably doesn’t matter which you choose.”

There are no right answers in business. As an entrepreneur, you are almost always the front goose, parting waters that haven’t yet been parted. There is no path already laid for you.

This is why having a team in place is so important. When we slog, it is often because we are asking ourselves to use part of our brain that isn’t the best part of our brain. Sometimes over-analysis is a great sign that you need to do more delegation.

What story do you want to tell?

So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours! Where do you get “sloggy” with overthinking? We’d love to hear!

Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

Want to Connect?

You can connect with us or tell your story…

Email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

Want to support us?

Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement. Stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!

Ep31: The Price is Right Jan 09, 2018

Show notes

Feeling like you can’t get clients to understand your value? This episode of So Here’s My Story is all about showing potential clients the difference between your work as a commodity, and your work as an art form.

Why is that important for business?

It often feels like a billable hour model punishes efficiency and rewards inefficiency. Just as you don’t care how many hours workmen put into building your car, you want clients to see the value in the end product. But it is often a much more complicated thing to get clients to understand, and appreciate, that value. It requires you to educate clients on the art of what you do, the relevance of the art, and the downside of options that are less artful in their delivery.

But as with butter and margarine, sometimes people don’t care about the difference. A client may not be your client if they don’t care about the difference between you and your competitors. This requires you to be very honest with yourself. If you provide value and your target market doesn’t find it valuable, it’s not actually value. You must find the value in what you offer, which means you have to understand your clients’ needs.

Part of that value may very well be in helping clients digest what they already have purchased from you.

Points of distinction that matter to your target market – that’s what value is. If you don’t have points of distinction that matter to your market, that is the definition of a commodity, and you can expect to be paid as such.

What story do you want to tell?

So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

Want to Connect?

You can connect with us or tell your story…

via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

Want to support us?

Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement. Stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!