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    Business

    So, Here’s My Story…

    So, Here’s My Story… is the only business podcast that promises wildly useful lessons from the absurd, the poignant and the seemingly irrelevant. This project arose out of a burning hatred of bullet point blogs, canned solutions and highlight-reel business conversations that look nothing like the realities of leadership. Business is messy and unpredictable. Business has depth and nuance. Business is more than spreadsheets. Business is stories.

    Advertise

    Copyright: © Eliot Wagonheim & Jodi Hume

    • Apple Podcasts
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    Latest Episodes:
    Ep30: New Years Evolutions Jan 01, 2018
    Show notes

    New Year’s Evolution

    It's New Years. Want to avoid setting the same ole' “just add water, have shame in 3 weeks" resolutions? This is the episode for you! It’s that time of year where many of us make some resolutions. But we have a love-hate relationship with New Year’s Resolutions, and think it might be a time to rethink how we make them.

    Why is that important for business?

    What you measure will determine so much about your business. New Year’s is a great time to notice what and how you measure.

    Resolutions are often large by their very nature, yet breaking them down into chunks is often much more effective. It’s like what Coach Krzyzewski at Duke University said about winning a game with a 20 point deficit: instead of focusing on the seemingly insurmountable spread, think about winning just the next 5 minutes. Once you string together some 5 minute wins, the bigger deficit will take care of itself.

    With resolutions, often the goals themselves are laced with shame to begin with. Like with diet, sometimes it is more effective to focus on adding in the good, not so much about what you need to take out. When you focus only on what is not working, it fuzzes out the system. Focus on what you need to be adding more of in your life instead.

    The new year offers the opportunity of a fresh start. Instead of feeling like a failure in 3 weeks, setting looser goals based on a theme or a guidepost – a litmus test for your decisions that year – can be more effective. And always remember to ask: How do I want to feel? What do I want to feel more of? Not in the moment, necessarily, or you may end up having eight more shortbread cookies. But in your life – what do you want more of? If you are so focused on the goal and not on the feeling that you want, you might miss a better opportunity to achieve that feeling you are seeking.

    This isn’t about doing away with resolutions, but right sizing them, bring some kindness and grace to them, focusing on the right parts (not numerical achievement, but how you want to feel) and finding a rhythm of measurement that feeds you, as well as the right kind of support. Support more like that described in Winning with Accountability: The Secret Language of High-Performing Organizations – accountability not as punishment, but as an opportunity to set self up to not go off the rails in first place; tether back to what you want, because you will get off track.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement. Stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!


    Ep29: Cancer & Kudzu Dec 26, 2017
    Show notes

    Sometimes we set goals – like business growth – not because they are true goals, but because it feels like we are a failure if we don’t achieve them... Have you started your 2018 goal planning? We have some ideas on how to make that planning more effective, and we share them in this episode. Jodi also speaks Swedish-ish and coins the term “Zen Mama”, so there’s something for everyone!

    Why is that important for business?

    The practice of hitting pause and looking back is incredibly important, in life and in business. To be myopically focused on where the gaps are – what you have yet to accomplish, what you still have to do – cheats you out of something. You need to recognize what you have achieved and the solid ground that you can build on for the next thing.

    There is also a fierce, tough love piece to this: a need to insist on this reflection, because if you don’t, you are skipping the true and honest act of looking in the mirror.

    Sometimes we set goals – like business growth – not because they are true goals, but because it feels like we are a failure if we don’t achieve them. But the only thing that grows for the sake of growth is cancer. And kudzu. Cancer and kudzu. (Hey! That’s the title of this episode!)

    A better question than how much did we grow: How well did we do in advancing our core principles?

    It is harder to paint yourself into a corner if you are looking around regularly. Don’t forget that there is somewhere in business that we wanted to go, and the occasional pause is helpful in making sure we are still on that path.

    And there are breadcrumbs along the path that indicate what is truly important to us. As in politics, we vote with our feet; we can tell where we stand by our behaviour, not what we say. So, it is important to ask: What tasks am I putting to the top of my list? What things do I have to force myself to do?

    It is a deeply kind act to make someone pause and check why didn’t do something. Often, a goal set and not done would have required them be someone they fundamentally are not. Rather, it is better to plan your business around your quirks and idiosyncrasies and your natural autopilot, so you can enjoy it.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement. Stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!


    Ep28: Quack, Quack Dec 19, 2017
    Show notes

    Quack, Quack

    You know those early American Idol contestants? The ones with…less than stellar singing skills? Have you ever wondered why none of their friends pulled them aside and said “listen, dearest friend – you can’t sing”? This episode is all about the business version of “you can’t sing”. And Jodi and Eliot have a few different perspectives to share about it.

    Why is that important for business?

    We make assumptions that there is only one way to do things when we give advice, instead of trying to custom fit the advice to the person.

    When people stop trying to fit into a solution, they can come up with a solution that is a fit for them.

    This doesn’t mean we can’t help push friends and colleagues out of their comfort zone. But we have to make sure that the path they are on is their own; if you push your comfort zone on someone else’s path, you won’t get traction.

    There is a difference between pushing past something that is scary, and pushing a limp noodle.

    The problem often isn’t that someone doesn’t like the means so they shouldn’t pursue the end; it is that they are the wrong means. The “it” has to fit. It is flawed to think that there is only one way to do something and if that way doesn’t fit, you can’t succeed. We all need a custom fit version of business development. We don’t have to change end goal, we just have to back it up and custom fit the means to the end.

    We need to get super clear on exactly what problem we are solving. And then often there is a way faster way to get to the solution than the way we are imaging.

    It’s a special kind of hell to get your ducks in a row, only to realize that they aren’t your ducks.

    You have to bake a cake that you are going to want to eat.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement. Stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!


    Ep27: Patre-OFF Dec 12, 2017
    Show notes

    Are you in the mood for a rant? This week, Jodi and Eliot air some grievances about the newest changes to the Patreon fee structure, all in the spirit of championing honest business practices and taking care of you, the listener.

    Why is that important for business?

    Patreon, the organization we work with to help fund our podcast, has changed its policies in a frustrating way. They have raised their fees, and have decided those extra fees will be added to the money pledged by the patrons. And all of this has happened without the consultation or consent of us, the beneficiaries of that patronage.

    The fees are a small amount, but the amount isn’t the point. When you are dealing with such small amounts, it is just proof that it isn’t just about it being “worth it” in the sense of dollar value alone. Sometimes, fee changes are about pushing some button far more core or primal than they are about the dollars. And often that comes down to how the change is communicated. When trying to control a message so that people react in certain way, that is not communication. Don’t navigate their reaction and call it communication.

    Most importantly, this is a great time to look within. When something like this happens, something that triggers a passionate response, it is important to look at your own business and your own business practices – what specifically is frustrating me, and is there any where in my business where I am doing this?

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@soheresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    We are in the process of rethinking our Patreon involvement – obviously – so stay tuned for more information about how you can support us!


    Ep26: Mental Feng Shui Dec 05, 2017
    Show notes

    Episode 26

    Have you ever found yourself adding unnecessary steps to a project? Made something simple way too complicated? This week, Jodi and Eliot talk about the mental feng shui that happens when the mundane creates space for real business magic.

    Why is that important for business?

    Often, we overcomplicate things in our business. It may just be the way we have always done something, or it may be that we are too close and cannot see what is possible – often we need someone else to point out where our processes are overcomplicating things.

    When a process is developed, it initially served a purpose. But where do we stop trying to make things better or more efficient?

    Perhaps it is not only a matter of having a rock in your shoe, but it is about also having at rock at the exact time when you are in a position to be able to take off your shoe. Fixing an issue with procedures isn’t just about the irritant being sufficiently…irritating, then. It is also about having the time and resources - and perhaps even the personality - to no longer put up with the irritant. Maybe we all need someone in our life that has no patience for little irritants, and helps us to fix them.

    Sometimes irritants somehow make it into our blind spots, and here, there is value in the pause.

    Training someone is such a great way to uncover your issues and processes that aren’t necessary. It is a great way to pull out magnifying glass and see where there are places where things can be easier. There is the innate value that increased efficiency brings, obviously, but an even more important benefit comes from simplicity. Efficiency doesn’t just buy you productivity; it buys brain space. It helps you create less overwhelm moving forward. It creates mental feng shui. Instead of focusing on tasks, you are focusing on pathways and harmony, even in something as mundane as office procedure.

    Processes and procedures can feel mundane, but there is something so magical about what they can unblock. There is more to what a really well-honed process can do for an organization than just make sure Ts get crossed. They can free up really smart people in a company to be able to act as really smart people.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    Visit our Patreon page. (http://www.patreon.com/SHMSpodcast)


    Ep25: "Does This Look Infected to You?" Nov 28, 2017
    Show notes

    This week, Jodi and Eliot talk about the situations where you don’t want to collaborate; there are times when you want the experts to lead. And it all starts with a trip to the doctor.

    Why is that important for business?

    In business, one of the most challenging things to figure out is when is the time to stop listening, and do the thing that they came to do; when to stop collaborating, and be a leader.

    If you are a professional, you need to find that place where it is time to stop listening and time to do the thing that they came to you to do.

    In the book, When Breath Becomes Air, a doctor becomes a patient, and it becomes important for him to have space to be that –a patient.

    Nobody wants an authoritarian leader who tells them what to do without taking their opinion into account. But there is unease when there isn’t clear leadership, and a clear idea of where we, together, are going.

    There needs to be an underlying trust when having these conversations, that setting boundaries and limits are not the limits of professional expertise, but instead of guidelines to get the best results.

    This isn’t just about who we are as leaders. The best clients are the ones who are coachable, and who are committed to their priorities, but not attached to those staying their priorities.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.


    Ep24: Is There Anything ELSE I Can Help You With? Nov 21, 2017
    Show notes

    Episode 24 We’ve all had the experience of feeling like a company doesn’t care about us, but how many of us have examined how our own clients experience working with us? This week, Jodi and Eliot talk about Thanksgiving and whiskey, Saturday Night Live spoofs, and how all of it relates to keeping your customers and clients happy.

    Why is that important for business?

    "You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space age technology that is so sophisticated - even we can't handle it. But that's your problem, isn't it? So, the next time you complain about your phone service, why don't you try using two Dixie cups with a string? We don't care. We don't have to. We're the Phone Company." – Saturday Night Live, September 18, 1976)

    Companies often differ in how they treat external and internal customers. As an acquaintance of Jodi’s once said – you date the external clients, and all of your effort goes there. Your internal customers are the ones you already married – they’re stuck with you, and you get complacent.

    Sound horrible? Setting aside how pleasant it may or may not be to be married to the person making the analogy, a lot of businesses do this. It often feels like they are primed and ready to not care about issues from internal clients.

    Part of the problem is with company culture – there may be an issue of not setting up the organization and operations to make anyone care.

    Zen of the Hand and the Chair. Every part of the chair has its own function. If someone takes a leg, all other parts of the chair will notice. Despite knowing they are all going to fall, they can do nothing to stop this. The hand, on the other hand (pun probably not intended), cares. If someone wants to cut off the pinkie finger, the entire hand will curl all of the fingers into a fist to defend against it.

    So which is your organization – the hand or the chair? If someone were to talk to anyone and everyone in the organization, would they all know the key problems and the key threats to the health of the organization, but no one does anything about it? Or do you have a culture at your business where your people, if they see a problem or threat, come together to solve it?

    (speaking of chairs, be on the lookout for Jodi’s Booby Trap Chair on Chairs in Predicaments: https://www.facebook.com/chairsinpredicaments/)

    It is easy to see and even to rant about these problems as something those companies do, but it is critical that we uncover where we do it. Often it is a matter of falling into the trap of taking care of the squeaky wheel and ignoring your other clients.

    And remember: it is one thing to avoid making people feel unimportant; it is a completely other thing to make people feel important. But that is the level at which you create loyalty and a stronger relationship. And it doesn’t cost a lot to make someone know that they matter. (Check out the book The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath.)

    One of the most important places to make someone feel important is in that first contact with someone who is upset. If you don’t communicate empathy, especially in moments when someone is angry and frustrated, it doesn’t matter how well you do your job - what they will remember is you not appearing to care.

    Just by creating transparency, you can make people feel like you care. Helping people understand what is going on behind the scenes can alleviate frustration.

    So how are you treating your internal customers? Or, for that matter, your husband/wife?

    What story do you want to tell? So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours! Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect? You can connect with us or tell your story… via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY Email: talktous@heresmystory.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us? Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast. Visit our Patreon page. (http://www.patreon.com/SHMSpodcast)


    Ep23: A Story Taylor-Made Nov 14, 2017
    Show notes

    This week, Eliot and Jodi discuss Taylor’s car shopping experience, implicit bias, and the benefits of curiosity.

    Why is that important for business?

    As Taylor’s story illustrates, ignoring a decision maker is an excellent way to lose a sale. Who we choose to ignore often relates to our implicit biases, about who is important and who is not.

    (Check out this episode of the NPR podcast, Hidden Brain, for more on implicit bias).

    The hardest part of addressing your biases is that you cannot actually self-diagnose. They feel like rational conclusions, not biases, and are hard to see, let along overcome. Nobody wants to see themselves as the person who makes these judgements, yet they continue to happen, and they cost us more than just sales.

    So how do we deal with these biases if we don’t even know they are there? The best first step is to start all interactions by being curious and seeking to understand. And the better you know something, the more curious you need to be; you have to counter-steer your own knowledge. Bias often feels like knowledge; be curious instead.

    It can also help to seek outside observers who can see issues with a fresh set of eyes. Asking for feedback from different areas within your business – suppliers, workers, and customers – can help leaders see their blind spots. Make an effort to do outreach and get feedback about work you didn’t get – what went wrong? And when someone asks a question, direct the answer to the person that asked.

    And most importantly, be curious about your own biases. You can’t resolve a problem if you adamantly refuse to acknowledge that you have one.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    Visit our Patreon page. (http://www.patreon.com/SHMSpodcast)


    Ep22: Controlicating (Yes, that's exactly what we meant.) Nov 07, 2017
    Show notes

    This week, Eliot and Jodi talk about those moments in business where we have irrational, emotional reactions and what that intrepid traveler, Indiana Jones, teaches us about how to deal with them like adults.

    Why is that important for business? We need to remember that it’s not just business; it’s personal. And when things get personal, we don’t always have the capacity to respond rationally.

    We all make irrational decisions; we all think like petulant children sometimes. And even though these irrational reactions are by definition irrational, they are still every bit as real. Ignoring them, or dismissing them as silly, is dangerous. Acknowledging “yes, I am having the emotions of a 5 year old” and owning it helps you move past it.

    As long as, in these emotional states, it feels like an issue of winning or losing, there is no place to go.

    When your value feels threatened, blood goes away from your smart, nuanced prefrontal cortex and goes to your instinctual fight or flight lizard brain, making it very hard to see the gray scale in the middle.Things start feeling binary, and you can’t see the options in between. In these moments, our brains are amazing at generating unsatisfying solutions.

    And just like in Indiana Jones and The Holy Grail, when you have to deal with these uncomfortable and irrational emotions, you have to walk the path and just have to have faith that there is something solid under your feet. Because, as Susan Campbell’s important work points out, most of communication is trying to get someone to react or not react a certain way. That is not communication; that is control. When talking about these hard things, you have to talk about what is real. And instead of focusing on winning or losing, in these conversations you need to focus on the third entity: the relationship. What does a healthy next step forward look like for the relationship? When you are standing in the ocean, the place where waves crash hardest are when the water is at torso level. You have to either push through to get to the deeper water so you can ride the current, or retreat and go shallower. When you go deeper with these conversations, even if doesn’t go the way you were hoping for, it is still way easier than the crashing waves where you were. There is no way, in that place of being battered by the waves, that you can do your best work.

    So ask yourself: what helped release the tension of those irrational fears in the past? Is there a way to do that with intention the next time you recognize yourself standing where the waves are crashing into you the hardest?

    What story do you want to tell? So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours! Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect? You can connect with us or tell your story… via our confidential toll free line at 1-833- 83-STORY Email: talktous@soheresmystory.com Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us? Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast. Visit our Patreon page. (http://www.patreon.com/SHMSpodcast)


    Ep21: What Kipling Saw Oct 31, 2017
    Show notes

    This week, Jodi and Eliot talk about that famous business poet, Rudyard Kipling, and what he has to say about riding the ups and downs of business.

    Why is that important for business?

    “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same.” -- from Rudyard Kipling’s If.

    Just as in life, business involves both triumph and disaster. Sometimes people are better with the triumphs and some are better with the disasters. But it is important to remember that both the peaks and the valleys are temporary.

    There is a special hell that comes sometimes after you have achieved what you wanted to achieve, and the effort of keeping that success becomes your torment.

    And there is nothing inherently wrong with triumph, of course; it is the imagining that the goal is to get to triumph and STAY there that is the problem. The white knuckle attempt to keep the success often makes us less agile; the fear of another valley, of the next disaster, can actually cause the next valley.

    The imposter in Kipling’s poem, then, is any sense of permanence. If you can treat both failure and success as being temporary – if you can make it so they don’t define you, they are just the current state of being – entrepreneurship and business become easier. Because business and entrepreneurship change so much that there really isn’t a point where you “make it”. Every entrepreneur worth their salt knows it is like a saw blade, with ups and downs. And you need to invest more energy in riding that saw blade than in either revelling at the top or despairing at the bottom.

    In Mandy Len Catron’s “A better way to talk about love” Ted Talk, she talks about how love is a collaborative work of art. And just as the trick to really wonderful art from young children is to take it away from them before they finish (and fill every inch with every color) the trick to love is to know when to start a new canvas. The same is true in business: not having a good relationship with impermanence can make us hold onto businesses long after they are no longer serving us.

    And the businesses that stick around need a relationship with impermanence – they need to embrace evolution. They need to develop a strategic sense of impermanence to succeed over time.

    You can fail without being a failure. And you can succeed without making it your identity.

    [We also recommend you check out Derek Sivers “Why You Need To Fail”]

    “If you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough”. Jillian Michaels

    If you are simply hanging out in success, what you are experiencing is actually stagnation. It just looks like success because you are comfortable. Real success is allowing failure and allowing evolution. Because evolving inherently involves trying new things that you aren’t good at yet, and letting go of things that no longer fit.

    Triumph and Disaster aren’t destinations; they are simply milestones.

    What story do you want to tell?

    So we told you our story – now it’s time to tell us yours!

    Go to SoHeresMyStory.com and share your story.

    Want to Connect?

    You can connect with us or tell your story…

    via our confidential toll free line at 1-833-83-STORY

    Email: talktous@heresmystory.com

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SHMSpodcast

    Twitter: @SHMSpodcast

    Want to support us?

    Review us on iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to the podcast.

    Visit our Patreon page. (http://www.patreon.com/SHMSpodcast)


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