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Estrangement And The Path To Reconciliation With Kreed Revere Dec 15, 2021

Show notes

Estrangement is a trauma filled, emotional experience for parents and adult children. And as we head toward Christmas, the emotions of estrangement are especially being felt by over 25% of us out there.
Kreed Revere is here to share her very vulnerable story of her own estrangement from her adult children and what she did to heal herself and start down the road of reconcilitation.
In this episode we discuss:

Estrangement generally refers to a close relationship that ceases communication and and contact and there is a level of rejection.
Know that if you are a parent estranged from your adult children or a child estranged from your parents, you are not alone.
Estrangement carries significant shame.
The published percentages of estrangement say it’s somewhere around 25%, but it is probably much higher.
Estrangement can throw you into a a tidal wave of emotions. Sad, mad and back and forth.
Once you realize that you are are dealing with estrangement, find a support group. It’s important to know that you are not alone.
The only control you have is over yourself. The rest of the situation is totally out of your control.
Most mothers just want to get back to where they were, but you don’t want it to go back to the way it was because it probably wasn't healthy.
You have to learn how to let go. Get to the point where you know it is okay if your kids never want to be in your life again.
Estrangement is a Little T trauma that happens. And it stays with you whether you end up reconciling or not.
Therapy can witness all your emotions. It lets them be seen, told they are okay and validated as normal.
Once your emotions are validated then you can start to have some empathy and compassion for your kids, too.
The age in which estrangement usually happens is when kids are in their 20s and 30s.
Children are here as our teachers and we as parents are students. And we usually have that backwards. Our children are trying to become who they were meant to be.
Don’t give opinions unless asked. Let your adult children find their own way.
Remember that estrangement can be gift. Because you can learn how to do things differently and your relationships can be so much better.
Keep you eye peeled for Red Flags - When your kids ask you to stop, when there is decreased amount of communication, and when you start getting information about your kids through a 3rd party.
If you know someone going through estrangement, know this is super emotional. Do not judge and let them know you aren’t going anywhere.
If you are estranged, maintain hope, but also let go so that you can find joy again. You are deserving of a life outside of your children.
It’s up to the parents to lead the way in reconciliation. We need to learn to love ourselves so we can love our children in much healthier ways.

Kreed's podcast is The Estranged Heart on all platforms: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-estranged-heart/id1589244018
Her email is theestrangedheart@gmail.com or you can leave her a voice message if you listen to her podcast at her host at anchor.fm.
Thanks for listening - please SHARE and RATE and REVIEW this podcast. It is so appreciated.
I can be reached at https://llmcshane.com or on instagram at http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane. Or you can join the Facebook Group for this podcast at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewoldyou/
Peace and Love to All!

Find me on my Website:
https://www.lesleylmcshane.com
Questions? Email me: lesley@lesleylmcshane.com
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Online Dating After 50 With Laura Brockel Dec 08, 2021

Show notes

Author Laura Brockel is with me today on The New Old You to talk about her experiences in dating and online dating after 50 and her practical advice and suggestions if you decide to jump into this World yourself.
Her book, Still Kissing Toads, is packed full of hilarious stories and lessons learned along the way. Some of her suggestions include:
1. To get started know that all the dating apps are basically the same, but because it can be so time consuming, pick ONE app to work because you’ll see a lot of the same people on all of the apps.

2. Just because you and a guy may both swipe right on each other, you may not hear from him or you may not reach out to him. Just be willing to throw your hook in the water and see what you catch. Don’t be afraid of the catch and release of online dating.

3. The dating profile speaks volumes about the person. For instance, if there is nothing really written in the profile, then this person more than likely will make zero effort. Look for the RED FLAGS.

4. Before you put out your profile, come up with YOUR list of non-negotiables and things you ARE willing to negotiate on. Hone in your filters. What are you willing to accept and what are you NOT willing to accept.

5. Do work on yourself first. Are you the best version of you because you get back what you put out. Decide up front what you really want in your next relationship.

6. Put your selections through your “friend filter” or “kid filter”. Make sure to tell them to be honest with you.

7. For safety, keep your communication through the app. Be careful of giving out your personal information like address and phone number until you are familiar with that person.

8. Don’t automatically discount someone if you don’t initially click on the app or over text. Give people a chance or two. Can lack of an initial spark grow over time? None of us were put here to go through life alone. Everyone wants connection. Don’t discount someone because of their profile or your first meeting - get to know them. They may end up a good friend or someone you can turn to.

9. Learn a lesson from each encounter. Each time you go through the experience you may learn something about someone and or yourself. Use it moving forward.

10. What should you include in your dating profile. Put something about what it is you are really looking for. Be Positive. Put down what your interests are and be honest. Look at your profile and see it through someone else’s eyes.

11. Go online - you are not going to meet someone sitting at home. You have to make yourself available. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. You need to get comfortable with conversation. Force yourself out of your comfort zone.

Laura's book is available at Amazon at this link: https://amzn.to/3deGuMs
Or you can purchase from her website: https://stillkissingtoads.com/
Laura is on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/laura.brockel/
Thanks for listening in today! I encourage you to SHARE this podcast with your friends and have a good laugh! And when you’re done laughing, head to the bottom of the podcast page and RATE and REVIEW - these things help get this episode be found by other people.

If you’d like to get in touch with me: My website is lmcshane.com and that is where my Friday Night BeerBlog lives along with the podcast links to this show and the Friday Night BeerBlog podcast I do with my husband. Or join my The New Old You Facebook Group at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewoldyou/
Or you can follow me on Facebook or instagram - @lesleylmcshane.

Move The Needle Forward In 2022 | Goal Setting Tips To Help You Follow Through With Sports Psychologist Cheryl Hart Dec 01, 2021

Show notes

Goal Setting can be extremely overwhelming if you don't have the right techniques in place to help you create a good plan. It all starts with your foundational beliefs and if you don't know what those are, then you will struggle to reach any goal.
Cheryl Hart is back on the podcast today to talk to us about some Goal Setting Techniques to make sure that we start goal setting in a successful way so that we have all reasons to believe that we will reach those goals.
We'll talk about:
1. First, Take time for introspection. It is foundational to goal-setting. Sit and be quiet and write out your top 5 values and priorities in life and why.

2. Ask yourself these Foundational questions:
Who has influenced me the most in my life?
How would I like to be remembered?
Who are the people in my life that I admire the most and what qualities do they have?
When I’m at my best what - fill in the blank?

3. Write a mission statement for your life. Set how you want to be remembered and work back from there in making decisions. Do your goals align with what you think your values are?

4. If the WHY of your goal is big enough then your purpose will be fulfilled. Vague goals produce Vague results.

5. The number one way to boost your confidence is to recall our past success. And if you are constantly comparing yourself to others and nothing is ever good enough, then we have nothing to draw from. Don’t let your ego of comparison get in the way.

6. Set goals by using the SMARTS system: Make your goals
- Specific
- Measureable
- Action-oriented
- Realistic
- Timely
- Self-determined

7. Set your A goal (End), B goal (Halfway point), C goal (Short Term goals), Daily intentions and incremental steps to help you get to each point.

8. Remember that EVERYONE, even people who seem to always reach their goals has failed, experienced downtimes and dips, but they get back up. You have to practice being resilient.

9. Reaching a goal is a personal journey. Your goal is just that. YOUR goal.

10. At the beginning write down 5 obstacles that you may come up against and then a corresponding strategy to offset that obstacle

11. Find accountability partners - someone or someones who can help you overcome your obstacles. A network of supporters. And then let them know what they can do to best support you.

12. Have a new goal on the back burner so that when you have accomplished a goal you don’t have “let down”, you move onto the next thing. But be sure to pause and reflect. And celebrate how far you’ve come.
Thank you so much for listening today. Be sure to FOLLOW or SUBSCRIBE. And if you would, please RATE or REVIEW - it means so much.
Cheryl can be reached through her website: http://2ndwindmotivation.com/
You can follow me at my website: https://llmcshane.com
I am also on Instagram http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane
You can join the private The New Old You facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewoldyou/
Thank you and think about where you want to be in a year and start sketching out some obtainable goals this next year and get there!
LLM

[BONUS] Hope Is Powerful With Karen Sebastian-Wirth Nov 27, 2021

Show notes

I have a little holiday BONUS episode for you today. Now that Thanksgiving is over and we head straight into this holiday month with all of the pressures it brings, my friend Karen Sebastian-Wirth is here with a message of HOPE. Just in time!!
Karen is such a joy to talk and listen to. I hope that you will agree after listening today. Some of the nuggets of truth that she shared are:

Hope isn’t about pushing down your feelings and telling yourself that everything is going to be fine. Admit that things can be awful and then look for the sliver of sunshine in the darkness and move toward it. Believe that there is a purpose and no matter what you are going to come out on the other end even better.
Sometimes the only thing you can change about a situation is YOURSELF
Life is full of pivots, but you can choose your attitude.
When you have hope you attract good things.
Hope can be born out of the worst of circumstances if you are willing to take advantage of it.
Mourning is a gift. If you are experiencing sadness or loneliness this holiday - it’s okay. Hope comes in dark places.
Give yourself permission to cry. It’s your body’s response to show love and to shed emotions.
Your life doesn’t have to be exactly what you thought it would be - it may look different, but have same impact.
The biggest Lie is “It’s too late”.
Don’t judge someone else’s hopelessness because you have no idea what they are going through - show compassion even when you don’t understand. Your job is to make a space to listen.
Relax during this time of year. Modify your traditions if needed. Be Nice to yourself and find joy wherever you can.

Thank you again for listening today - if you know someone that is struggling to find hope - open up some space to listen and share this podcast with them.
Please FOLLOW or SUBSCRIBE to this podcast so that it will drop automatically into your library and remember to RATE and REVIEW - I'm going to be giving out special thank yous at the end of the year to a couple of people who leave a Review, so get your name in the hat.
Follow and Subscribe to Karen's podcasts as well - they are Stance for Health and the Hope is Powerful podcasts on Apple, Spotify and all the places.
I can be found at my website: https://llmcshane.com. And on instagram http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane. Or you can join my private Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewoldyou/
Until next week - all the absolute best!
LLM

Thankful Isn't Just For Thanksgiving - How To Have Gratitude Every Day Nov 24, 2021

Show notes

It's been a hot minute since I presented a solo podcast, so here I am just in time for Thanksgiving. Which is apropos because I'm talking about Gratitude or being Thankful, the reason for the season which we are entering.
I think it is very important not to just give credence to being thankful on the fourth Thursday of November, I think it is important to have gratitude EVERY DAY. Being grateful is free and gives so many benefits to ourselves and those we shower with those feelings.
I'm talking about benefits, tips on how to realize feelings of gratitude, and tips on creating a gratitude habit. We're touching on:
1. Gratitude is an emotion AND a feeling. It is also contagious.

2. Gratitude is free medicine. It can help strength your immune system, improve sleep patterns, help you become more optimistic and reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. Most importantly it helps reduce stress.

3. Gratitude takes practice. It’s more than just a habitual thank you. You have to observe the meaning and reason BEHIND the thank you.

4. To find more gratitude: use your senses, remember the bad, Share your gratitude, Go through the motions, keep a gratitude journal or list.

5. Keeping a gratitude journal may seem corny or time consuming, but it’s important to remember that what we write, we remember.

6. The key to gratitude is to be specific about the thing you are grateful for. It’s always about what does that “thing” bring to my life.

7. Make your gratitude practice part of your habits. It doesn’t have to be everyday, but sitting down and writing our what you grateful for 1-3 times a week is super beneficial.

8. The hardest part of any beginning is the start. So just start. If you don’t start today, start tomorrow. Try it on. See how doing this simple thing makes your life so much brighter. I dare you.
I'm wishing you all an amazing day to spend with friends, family, or yourself. And sending out good vibes and hugs.
Thank you for listening today and I encourage you to share with friends as a gentle reminder to always feel grateful is a plus. Please RATE and REVIEW so that others can find this episode. Don't forget to FOLLOW or SUBSCRIBE so that future episodes will automatically drop into your podcast app library.
Follow me at https://llmcshane.com or on instagram at: http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane
My private The New Old You Facebook group is at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewoldyou/
I have a bonus episode with The Hope Lady next Saturday, so be sure to come back and get your dose of HOPE for the holiday season.
Till next week - LLM

How To Get Clarity & Make A Pivot With Melissa Hoffmann Nov 17, 2021

Show notes

I hear it all the time when I ask the question, "What is your biggest issue in midlife". More often than not I get answers like, "Finding my purpose", "Figuring out what is next", "Trying to discover my next passion", "Trying to make a shift in my career". All very common, but then what do we do about it. Nothing.
Melissa Hoffmann is here to start giving us clues about how to get some clarity of what our next thing is and how to successfully make that pivot.
Some of the things we'll talk about are:
1. If you are looking to make a pivot make sure to have a plan. - create your exit strategy of where you are and work on your own thing on the side so that you can leave gracefully.

2. Get clear on what you want to do. Believe in yourself. Belief comes in knowing you are on the wrong path right now and need a new one.

3. Listen to your body for clues that it is time to make a change. Feeling that you don’t want to get up in the morning and wishing your weeks away are a sure sign you need to pivot. Catch them early - don’t wait until you are at rock bottom.

4. Watch your jealousy tendencies because these might be pointing you in the direct you want to go. And if that person can have it, so can you.

5. Don’t compare yourself to others - Realize you may be comparing your start to someone else's middle or end.

6. To get clarity - go deep within - go back to who you were as a young person. The keys to our passions are in our younger days. The clues are there. Just connect the dots.

7. Pivoting requires that you do your research - learn everything you an about the thing you are interested in. It requires a plan and then it requires a mentor who is already in the place where you want to be to help you get you to where you want to go.

8. To gain confidence just do the thing. You can’t have confidence if you haven’t done the thing, so just get started. The more you do the thing, the better you’ll get.

9. Doing it messy is so much better than not doing anything at all. You can’t be afraid to not be perfect. No one is perfect.
If Melissa is your vibe and you feel like you need to work with someone like her, she offers coaching and can be reached at her website, https://www.melissahoffmann.com/
It's there you can also download her free workshop PIVOT: The three keys to discovering the business you were meant to create.
She can also be reached on instagram: http://www.instagram.com/melissamhoffmann
Thank you for listening today. It means so much. This is where you can find me:
My website: https://llmcshane.com
The New Old You facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thenewoldyou/
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane
Please enjoy and then RATE or REVIEW the podcast so that others can find it. Also, SHARE if you found it helpful and you think that someone else as well.
Mike and I will see everyone on Friday for the 40th - that is 4-0 th Friday Night BeerBlog. The written blog will be at my website and you can listen to the pod on any of your favorite podcast apps.
Till then - L

Finding Yourself Single, Yet Strong Over 50 With Coach Lori Linford Nov 10, 2021

Show notes

On this week's podcast episode I am talking with Lori Linford who is talking with me about how to be strong and single over the age of 50. After two marriages that ended in divorce, her second at the age of 45, three months after her youngest daughter was born, Lori embraced what she calls cocooning. She turned inward to learn more about herself and her responsibility in those relationships ending.
This is a powerful episode - the takeaways being:
1. You have to have strength as a single woman, but just because you choose to embrace your singleness doesn’t mean that you don’t want a relationship. Choosing singleness doesn’t mean that you hate men or hate relationships.

2. Always choose yourself - the decisions that you make that are good for you will be good for all of those around you.

3. It is not okay to loose yourself to please somebody else. That not where you get love or power. Those things live inside you.

4. Dating is like trying on shoes. You usually only try on the shoes that attract you, but you need to see how others fit too. You might surprise yourself.

5. The best thing to do when a relationship ends is to SIT down and write out everything you are grateful for from that relationship. The only way to get through is the gratitude and lessons that you learned from that person.

6. Don’t just settle for someone new - don’t look for a band-aid to make it appear that your life is normal.

7. At the end of a relationship, use your time to do some cocooning - turn inward. You have to give yourself time to figure out who your are. Get Still. Being busy is an escape mechanism because You don’t feel when you are moving. Getting still allows you to look at yourself and really get a picture of what your part in the situation is. And remember, it’s no one’s fault, it all just part of the story.

8. Divorce is good in the sense that you can toss that old identity that doesn’t fit you anymore and figure out who you are now.

9. Stand up, choose yourself and move forward. You past doesn’t define who you.

10. Remember, it’s your thoughts that are the only thing standing in your way.
Lori's podcast, Strong and Single begins in December and her trailer is already there for you to follow: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/single-and-strong/id1591103756
You can find her on Instagram: http://instagram.com/lorilinford
or on her website: https://www.lorilinford.com/
Thanks for listening today and don't forget to REVIEW to be put in a drawing for special Christmas thank yous. FOLLOW and SUBSCRIBE so that new episodes appear in your podcast app without you having to go search for them.
Follow me at my website: https://llmcshane.com
or on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane
You can join my Facebook The New Old You Podcast group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/546411409771512/
You can get the 5 Moves For a Chair-Ready Booty here: https://www.subscribepage.com/five-booty-moves
Sending much love - Till Friday on the Friday Night BeerBlog!
LLM

Inspiration Series - Japanese Internment Camp & Living Generously With Peggy Tojo & Paula Hensley Nov 03, 2021

Show notes

I'm back with another episode of the Inspiration Series. This time I get to sit with 90 year old Peggy Tojo and her daughter Paula Hensley.
Peggy shares with us stories of her husband's time in a Japanese internment camp during World War II, how they met, raising 9 children together and the prejudice they and their children encountered post war. We then turn to the amazing life of service that Peggy has led and hear from Paula the things her parents passed down to her and her siblings.
All of it boils down to the importance of family and the total acceptance that lives there. Peggy has been a role model to her children and now to all of us.
Thank you for listening today. Please go out and after hearing Peggy and spread kindness.
Please FOLLOW or SUBSCRIBE if you would like to make sure that are aware when new episodes are available. And RATE and REVIEW if you have time. I would appreciate it.
My website is https://llmcshane.com if you would like to check it out for the Friday Night BeerBlog or sign up for weekly updates. My instagram is http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane and I would love to engage with you there.
If you are interested in my private Facegroup group for this podcast where we discuss in more detail and I give insider info on upcoming conversations, then follow this link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/546411409771512/
Till next week - give out some smiles! LLM

Achieving Functional Fitness After 50 With Mary Glover Oct 27, 2021

Show notes

Functional Fitness is not about being skinny. Having some level of fitness is so very important to everyone - it can help make all the years you have that much more enjoyable. As you age, it will help you be able to climb the stairs, get on the ground with your grandchildren, and travel to fun places after you retire.

Mary reminds us:

You can be creative and work on functional fitness IN your home. You do not have to go to the gym or have a lot of equipment.
Functional fitness is about using the whole body, rather than focusing on one muscle at a time.
Every functional fitness workout combines Cardio, Strength, and Flexibility
Just walking is amazing exercise - you do not have to run to get benefits.
A coach or trainer helps reduce your learning curve on exercises needed and could keep you from getting injured.
Exercise is medicine. Sometimes it is even better medicine than pharmaceuticals
Health is the new wealth. It is an investment. And you can’t put a price tag on it.
We have one body to live in - you have got to take care of it. You have to commit and you have to be consistent to be successful. Remember, You have to get out of your comfort zone to get any better.
It is NEVER too late to start taking care of yourself.
If you don’t make time, not taking care of your fitness will take time away from you.

If you would like to find Mary and her amazing Alabama accent, go to her website: https://yourfitnessbydesign.com/ to find out all about her and the services that she provides.
She has also provided the listeners with a PDF of some easy functional fitness moves that you can do yourself in your own home. Get the PDF by joining my private The New Old You podcast group on Facebook. You're a member of so many groups, at least you'll be getting something out of this one! :)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/546411409771512/

Thank you so much for listening. If this episode has struck a chord with you - don’t be shy to SHARE it with a friend that you could work on functional fitness with. Fitness is always more fun together.

And of course, please go to the top three dots and FOLLOW this podcast so that new episodes will drop into your Apple podcast app without you even having to go search for it.

All the links you need are at my website, llmcshane.com. And don’t forget to FOLLOW my other podcast, Friday Night BeerBlog - the podcast I record with my husband, the Pickle, every Friday night. We sit down, drink a beer, and I actually read him the weekly blog and we discuss. It’s a great way for us to wind down the week.

I’m always looking for people to RATE and REVIEW, so if you have time to do that, I’d appreciate it.

I’m on instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane - I got a lot of social media crap going on there.
Sending so much love and many hugs to all of you today. Love yourself and show as much compassion for others as you need yourself. Give and you shall get.
LLM

Dealing With Change Through 5 Phases With Lindsay de Swart Oct 20, 2021

Show notes

Lindsay de Swart is a Shamanic Coach, Energy Medicine Practitioner, Life Coach and Hypnotherapist. She has been coaching women for 16 years, helping them ignite or rekindle their 'inner spark' and courage.
In today's episode, Lindsay gives us a quick background of the Shamanic medicine wheel and it's teachings and leads us through the 5 phases or steps of dealing with big change in our lives whether it is planned or unplanned.
The Five Phases / Steps we discuss are:
EXPAND: If you feeling like you need a big change, you will start in the EXPAND phase. On the Shamanic medicine wheel it is represented by the Hummingbird. In this phase, you know you need a big change so you expand and begin to think about what that change should be. You actually get to CHOOSE what you are changing.

EMERGE: Next is the EMERGE phase. This is represented by a snake. If you feel like you need change and find your next thing, there may still things you need to SHED to be able to make the change. Or if big change happens on you without warning you dive STRAIGHT into the EMERGE phase. This is where we learn to shed the things that are keeping us from enjoying big change. It could be your job, a relationship, certain friends, etc.

EXPLORE: Third is the EXPLORE phase represented by the Jaguar. This is where we delve into ourselves and do a lot of background work without the input of friends or family to figure out what we REALLY want to do.

EARTH: Next is EARTH - The Tree of Life. This is where we find everything is connected. We start to dig deep - putting down roots in our change - then we have the branches that teach us to aim high. Then we have the trunk that connects the two - this is where all of the structure is formed between the plan and the goals. The HOW. This is where we are tying our hopes and dreams to a real plan - you position of being empowered.

EVOLVE: And LAST is EVOLVE, the eagle, where we stretch our wings and take the leap and do the thing.

You can follow Lindsay at the follow:
Her coaching website is: https://soulfuladventureliving.com/ - you will find all kinds of information here.
Her Podcast is Magical Midlife and is available on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/magical-midlife/id1567640554
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Lindsaydeswartonline
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lindsaydeswart
Thank you for listening and taking the time to really hear what Lindsay has had to stay.
If you have enjoyed this podcast please SHARE it with friends and don't forget to FOLLOW so that you are made aware when new episodes are available. And then RATE and REVIEW.
Also take a listen to my other podcast FRIDAY NIGHT BEERBLOG where I read my weekly blog to my husband and we banter all while drinking a beer on Friday night. It is also on Apple Podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/friday-night-beerblog/id1577416179
Sign up for my weekly newsletter or actually READ the blog at my website: https://llmcshane.com and follow me on instagram at: http://www.instagram.com/lesleylmcshane
Sending lots of love to all of you - Be good to yourself!
LLM

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