On Attachment

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Relationships
**On Attachment**

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy – sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.

Latest Episodes:

#52: 6 Tips for Avoidant People in Becoming More Secure Feb 28, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm offering 6 tips on how avoidant people can become more secure in their relationships.

We cover:

the importance of getting to know your inner world
learning to feel safe with healthy interdependency
increasing your tolerance for disharmony and conflict
getting curious about your triggers before acting on them
communicating with words rather than actions
the benefits of co-regulation for your nervous system

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#51: How to Initiate Hard Conversations with an Avoidant Partner Feb 23, 2023

Show notes

In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing tips for initiating hard conversations with an avoidant partner. This is a question I get a lot - how to express needs to an avoidant partner, how to set boundaries, how to share feedback. These conversations are already intimidating for many anxiously attached folks, and when combined with the sensitivities of the avoidant partner, can be a perfect storm.

We cover:

how to set yourself up for success in initiating hard conversations
the importance of a regulated nervous system
tips for reaching a mutually beneficial outcome
how to cultivate greater safety during conflict & challenging conversations

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#50: Navigating Perfectionism in Anxious-Avoidant Relationships Feb 22, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I'm talking all about perfectionism - but probably not in the way you've heard it spoken about before. Perfectionism is often thought of as a personality quirk - a commitment to high achieving and having things a certain way. But when it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be a powerful protective strategy that keeps us from being seen and known as our authentic selves.
We cover:

how anxiously attached people hold themselves to standards of perfection as a way to gain and keep someone's interest
how avoidantly attached people use perfectionism & criticism as a distancing strategy to avoid intimacy & vulnerability
what happens when these strategies collide in an anxious-avoidant dynamic

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#49: "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." Feb 16, 2023

Show notes

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!)
We'll cover:

why it's normal to feel hurt by a partner moving on faster than we do
why it's so important to monitor the stories we tell ourselves post break-up
reasons why people process break-ups differently
how anxious vs avoidant people tend to move through the break-up period

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#48: 5 Questions to Assess the Emotional Health of Your Relationship Feb 14, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional health & safety in relationships. If you've ever wondered what "emotional safety" actually means, look no further - we'll be discussing some guiding principles and questions you can ask to assess how emotionally healthy your relationship is. And most importantly, what you can do to improve the emotional state of your relationship - because let's face it, this is going to be a work in progress for most of us.

We cover:

voicing needs, concerns & boundaries
navigating life's challenges as a team
ability to safely & effectively repair after conflict
feeling loved, cared for & respected
how your nervous system can give you insight into your relationship's emotional health

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#47: "We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" Feb 09, 2023

Show notes

"We've been together a year and I've just seen he's still using Tinder. Can trust be rebuilt?" Today's episode is a community Q&A, and I'm answering a hard question about rebuilding after discovering a breach of trust.

We'll talk through:

Things to look for when deciding whether to stay & rebuild after infidelity
The importance of the other person taking ownership & responsibility for the harm caused
What it really takes to rebuild trust

Recommended resources

For a deeper dive on deciding whether to stay or go, check out Episode 19 of the show (Should I Stay or Should I Go?).

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#46: 5 Tips for Rebuilding After a Long-Term Relationship Ends Feb 07, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I'm sharing 5 tips for rebuilding after a long-term relationship ends. Let's face it: break-ups are painful at the best of times. But when the relationship was a long-term one, it can be even more challenging to navigate our "new" life without our ex in it. I'll be sharing tips to support you through the life cycle of your break-up - from the initial grieving process all the way through to re-entering the dating world.

We cover:

How to grieve your break-up in a healthy way
Why it's important to have support people around you
Using your break-up as an opportunity to spring clean your life
How to step outside your comfort zone
Tips for starting to date again

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#45: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so we can do the work?" Feb 02, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, I'm answering a question I receive all the time which is: "How do I tell my partner they are avoidant so that we can start doing the work?"

We cover:

The importance of being honest & self-aware about our intentions in introducing a partner to personal development work
Navigating anxious attachment tendencies around the saviour complex, over-functioning and taking responsibility for what's not ours
Why "the work" might look different for everyone
How to approach conversations about relational growth in a productive, balanced & healthy way

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#44: 5 Reasons You Might Struggle to Apologise Jan 31, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, we're talking all about apologies - and specifically, why they might feel so hard sometimes. Being able to apologise is so fundamental to healthy repair, but for many of us, can feel inexplicably challenging. After listening to today's episode, my hope is that you'll have greater clarity around why apologies can feel so hard, and how to address the underlying resistance so you can foster greater connection and emotional maturity in your relationships.

What we cover:

Why apologies can feel so hard
What to do when we feel unseen and misunderstood
The difference between intent and impact
How people-pleasing & perfectionism can hold us back from taking responsibility

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#43: "How do I navigate the tendency to lose myself in a long-term relationship as anxiously attached person?" Jan 26, 2023

Show notes

In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

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