On Attachment

Latest Episodes:

#72: 5 Tips for Loving Someone Well May 09, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 tips on how to love someone well. So often, we think we are being loving towards someone - when really, we are pursuing our own agenda of loving them with strings attached. We love in order to get something in return, and then feel secretly resentful when things don't go our way. So instead, I'm sharing how to love someone in a way that feels pure and open-hearted.
We'll cover:

the importance of gratitude
voicing appreciation and recognition of someone's contribution
how to accept someone rather than control or change them
taking responsibility for your own happiness
staying curious about your partner's inner world

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Additional Resources

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#71: "Is he avoidant or just not that into me?" May 04, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm answering the question of "How do I know if someone is avoidant or just not that interested in me?" This is a question I get A LOT - and the answer might surprise you.
I'm going to share a common misconception about avoidant attachment in early dating, as well as some hard truths about why we seek out people whose behaviour leaves us questioning whether they're interested or not.

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Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
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#70: 5 Tips for a Healthy, Balanced Nervous System May 02, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, we're talking all about nervous system regulation in the context of emotional wellbeing. As many of you know, I'm a big advocate of incorporating bottom-up, somatically focused tools and awareness as part of the bigger picture of growth and healing. And a key piece of that work is understanding how to understand and support your nervous system.
We cover:

why a healthy nervous system isn't about being calm all the time
how to expand your comfort zone and resilience in a safe, sustainable way
how to make a daily practice out of nervous system regulation
how to counteract feeling powerless and overwhelmed
building a toolkit for nervous system regulation and self-soothing

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#69: "When is taking a break in a relationship a good idea?" Apr 28, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm answering the community question of "when is it a good idea to take a break in a relationship?" This can be a really tricky situation, particularly where one person wants to take a break and the other doesn't.
In this episode, I share:

things to consider & discuss before taking a break
do's and don'ts of taking a break
examples of where a break can be healthy & productive
navigating boundaries around taking a break (e.g. around duration, exclusivity, and intentions)

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#68: How to Talk About Sex with Vanessa & Xander Marin Apr 25, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm joined by Vanessa & Xander Marin. She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, he’s a regular dude, and they recently co-authored their first book Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, which became an instant NYT bestseller.
We cover:

The five conversations you need to be having about sex
Navigating mismatched libido & (perceived) sexual rejection in relationships
How emotional intimacy (or lack thereof) impacts sexual intimacy
What to do when sex becomes a heavy, high-pressure topic in your relationship
How to bring back fun, play & lightness to your sex life

Follow Vanessa & Xander on Instagram @vanessaandxander, and tune in to their podcast, Pillow Talks, for totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more.

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#67: Why Healthy Relationships Can Feel Boring Apr 20, 2023

Show notes

In today's episode, I'm answering the question of why healthy relationships can feel boring - especially if you're someone who's accustomed to drama and chaos in your love life.

We'll cover:

why unhealthy relationships are so addictive
the principle of intermittent reinforcement
how to navigate discomfort around stable relationships
how to get your needs for novelty & excitement met in a healthy way without sabotaging your relationship

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#66: How to Leave a Relationship (When You Know You Need To) Apr 18, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, we're talking about how to leave a relationship from the perspective of knowing that you need to. Break-ups are hard - no matter the circumstances - and most of the advice tends to be directed toward people who've been broken up with, rather than those doing the breaking up.

We'll cover:

why waiting for the "right time" is an illusion
how to support yourself as you prepare for a break-up
grappling with guilt around hurting someone
how to cultivate healthy boundaries throughout the break-up

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#65: "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?" Apr 13, 2023

Show notes

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?". I get variations of this question a lot - basically, why wouldn't anxious and avoidant people save themselves the trouble by sticking to their own kind? Well, as always, it's not quite that simple...
We'll cover:

why anxious and avoidant people tend to be attracted to each other
the truth behind why "opposites attract"
what happens when two anxious or two avoidant people date

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#64: The Role of Criticism in Anxious-Avoidant Dynamics Apr 12, 2023

Show notes

Today's episode is all about the role of criticism in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Both anxious and avoidant people have been known to deploy criticism as a strategy to manage fears and self-protect in relationships - but this will often look different (and be motivated by different drives) on each side. One thing's for sure: no matter how it shows up, criticism is really harmful to relationships - so if this is something you struggle with, you've come to the right place.

We'll cover:

how anxiously attached people use criticism as a protest behaviour
criticism as a way to convey our hurt
how avoidant people use criticism to sow seeds of doubt and create distance
how to identify the needs underlying our criticism so we can communicate in a healthier way

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

#63: "How to deal with an all-consuming fear that my partner will cheat on me?" Apr 07, 2023

Show notes

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to navigate an all-consuming fear & paranoia around a partner cheating - particularly in circumstances where that fear is seemingly unwarranted.
We'll cover:

the importance of nervous system regulation when we experience intense fear & paranoia
when to talk to a partner about our fears
the link between fear of cheating and low self-worth
a liberating truth about control in relationships

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
Join my email list 💌
Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
Visit my website

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