Millennial: Pretend Adulting, Real Talk

Latest Episodes:

Episode #2x30: His Own Worst Enemy Aug 17, 2016

Show notes

Golden ticket winner Claire toughs out a packed show about Trump's downward spiral. But first: Bucket Lists: what's on ours, and why do they all entail the same thing. Trumpster Fire 2016: further and further down the rabbit hole we go. The Donald doubles down on his "Obama is the founder of ISIS" remarks, then claims sarcasm, then says he wasn't being sarcastic. Some people are saying he's become psychologically unhinged. We're not saying that, but some people are. An ideological screening test for immigrants - coming to an authoritarian regime near you! Hidden from the Headlines asks why the recent shooting in Milwaukee has fallen of the media's radar so fast. The Number. Sponsored by generational poverty. And this week's After Dark is ratchet AF: Fuck Off, Cupid! features our latest gems from the online dating world. We read another part of Andrew's now-famous Scorpius/Albus Severus fan fiction... some of us in front of our parents.

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Episode #2x29: Hear Hear Aug 10, 2016

Show notes

Golden ticket winner #2 hails from Australia and brings her pet wallaby onto the show! Not really, but you fucking believed it for a second. Team USA is dominating the Olympics right now, so when the GOP completes our country's transformation into a fascist hellscape, maybe Brazil will take us. A new report says Millennials are having less sex than any other generation of the past 60 years. In related news, a newer report says #Millennials have offered up their services for the greater good. What's a podcast without a little emotional whiplash? AP Choice takes us from fun to tragic in 5 seconds flat. Dumpster Fire 2016 has some bad news for the country's resident demagogue, but also WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK is this about assassination rhetoric? How can we become complacent to this? No kidding guys, normalizing implications of violence is how despots begin removing their political foes from power. Jenna takes us down under and quizzes us on everything Australia. We know enough to know we'll never visit without a suitcase full of anti-venom. And in this week's After Dark: "Many people are saying..." is how Trump has been getting away with outlandish statements. So we cultivate a few of our own, and Andrew asks us to defend them. Two Truths, One Lie: Aussie Edition. We learn that Aussies wear thongs all year round. Even the men. Sisqo would be proud.

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Episode #2x28: Dissing The Baby Aug 03, 2016

Show notes

This week's episode welcomes guest host Zach to the program, because Zach was unlucky enough to win a Golden Ticket from our t-shirt sales. Sorry Zach. Andrew realizes the fate of his sister's marriage is in his hands. Surprise, Bitch! takes us to Portugal, a country wisely deciding to avoid Trump over-saturation. But we're not. Dumpster Fire 2016 covers the final convention controversies and looks ahead to the campaigns' general election strategies. With primary season over, will Trump change course? Will we see a more presidential candidate? Do pigs fly? YOU get an anxiety disorder! YOU get clinical depression! WE ALL. GET. A PROBLEM!!! Mental health issues are surprisingly common and shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing. Zach leads the conversation with beautiful candor and a killer accent. Which organization's donation average is $69? Find out why it's not fucking us on "The Number." And in this week's rousing installment of After Dark: With the Cursed Child play officially in bookstores, Andrew introduces us to the new world of Albus Severus/Scorpius fan fiction. No foreplay. He just makes us dive right in. You might say he inserted it.

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Episode #2x27: Fill That Core Jul 27, 2016

Show notes

This week's episode of #Millennial will just be Michelle Obama's DNC speech on an eternal loop. Thank you and goodnight. Harry Potter and the Cursed Fan Fiction comes out this weekend - only one of us defends its honor. Dumpster Fire 2016 takes aim at the DNC: Tim Kaine is a bowl of warm grains, but he's cute, so fuck it. In more important news: San Diego Comic Con revealed some cool new info and the first superhero trailer worth a damn. Hidden from the Headlines gets real about climate change destroying the oceans and how we should all enjoy our sushi while we can. Surprise, bitch! Goodbye, bitch!

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Episode #2x26: Anyone Can Ride Andrew Jul 19, 2016

Show notes

This episode brought to you by Monday Afternoon: a great time to record if you want to make your convention coverage as dated as possible. The night is always darkest before the dawn, and this week, "the dawn" is Roger Ailes getting thrown out of Fox News. AP Choice and listener feedback asks us about dealing with ignorant family members, the new gay Bachelor, and more. A failed military coup in Turkey initiates a massive despotic crackdown by President Erdogan, and we bring on a Turkish native to give us his POV. How much is your butthole worth? Andrew's boyfriend is ready to pimp out our favorite host on a new escort service disguised as dating app. Devil's Advocate asks whether the RNC should walk the walk by allowing open carry at this week's convention. Speaking of the convention: our new election coverage segment, Dumpster Fire 2016, discusses Trump's VP announcement and puts in a call to Mike Pence's press secretary.

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Episode #2x25: GO-ing Nowhere Jul 13, 2016

Show notes

Bitch we're back. By popular demand. Brave new world: a lot has changed in two short weeks and we're still working to process it. Dumpster Fire 2016 is upon us, and #Millennial has some live Google hangouts planned for the upcoming conventions. All bones matter. But when you need a doctor, it's because one of them is fucking broken and requires additional attention. How difficult of a concept is this? We discuss the horrific murder of several black men, as well as the tragic murders of five cops in downtown Dallas, welcoming people of color to the show to speak on the matter. Goodbye, job. Goodbye, friends. Today we pledge our lives and livelihoods to Pokemon Go, God of Smartphone Apps. George Takei has a problem with new!Sulu being gay, which is weird, because George Takei is kind of gay himself. Do you even #pride bro? And this week's After Dark might be our funniest installment yet. Douchecanoes of the Internet, starring: Mischa Barton being tone deaf as fuck; A former podcaster endorsing violence; And creepy ass fundamentalist Christian Jennifer Mayers spying on her kids' vaginas. Culminating with a phone call to said psycho, wherein we interview Mayers about ham sandwiches and the antichrist.

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Episode #2x24: What's Your Status? Jun 22, 2016

Show notes

It's our last show before a two week summer break, so eat it up sycophants. Andrew is, officially, an Uber driver. Welcome to the jungle. The Department of Justice is editing the Orlando shooter's 911 transcripts -- is this what everyone means by "PC culture"? "Here's a novel idea," they said. "Let's do nothing," they said. The Senate votes down all four gun control bills. A new era of Trump? Campaign manager Corey Lewandowski gets fired and The Donald embarks on a scapegoat tour of the U.S. Britain, you already lost the American colonies. Don't also lose your marbles. We explain "Brexit" and why it's the worst idea since Yorktown. Welcome, redcoat! Laura from Englandtown joins us for a jolly good spot of tea. Fuck Off, Cupid features new dramatic readings and grave concern over OKCupid's matching methods. And in this week's After Dark: You have been granted the opportunity to send a birthday gift to your 16-year-old self. What would you give them? We answer for ourselves, and for each other. Someone needs the gift of adult supervision. Associate Producers' Choice asks us about wrestling and we meander down a twisted road toward gay stuff. We're also asked about celebrities running for office and offer up one of our own.

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Episode #2x23: Orlando Jun 15, 2016

Show notes

A major tragedy in the United States calls for a special episode of #Millennial. We discuss the horrific Orlando shooting in-depth.
- The facts as we know them so far.
- What issues were at play? And what aspects are standing out this time?
- Connections to politics: The GOP blocked a bill in December that could’ve prevented this from occurring.
- We listen to a town hall from a couple of weeks ago in which Obama predicted that something like this would happen. Eerie.
- Given the gravity of the situation, we speak to a few of our LGBTQ listeners to get their feelings on what happened, and how they’ve responded to the tragedy. Thank you to Mark, Sarah, Jerry, Haley, and Nancy for speaking with us.
- We turn back to Obama to give us a laugh as he slow jams the news on Jimmy Fallon. - Andrew was in London last week for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, so we discuss the J.K. Rowling’s eighth story. Warning: MAJOR spoilers during this part of the show. Don’t listen to this part of the show if you don’t want to be spoiled! We offer a spoiler warning before we get into the juicy details.
- This week in After Dark we play a spin on “The Number” and discuss whether or not authors should let go of staying in their fictional worlds.

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Episode #2x22: Director Despot Jun 08, 2016

Show notes

Andrew survives his flight across the Atlantic, eliminating any hopes we had of being on CNN. Primary season sings its swan song as California and five other states go to the ballot box. If I call Laura an ill-begotten slag, is that hate speech, or historical fact? Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft and others implement a new content policy in Europe and we straddle the fence between "okay sure" and "okay... no." BREAKING: Great swimmers everywhere exonerated of moral responsibility. Talented writers now free to commit acts of treason. In related news, the Stanford rape case is serving as a grotesque but important flashpoint for rape culture. FBI Director James Comey asks Congress for help spying on American citizens' internet history without a warrant. That's not how this "legal system" thing works, Director Despot. If your senator sits on either the Senate Judiciary Committee or Senate Intelligence Committee, call or email them -- tell them your porn preferences are yours and yours alone. Devil's Advocate puts Laura in a super awkward position. And in this week's After Dark: We plan our election season coverage, including a new segment idea and the possibility of a live in-person show in Washington, D.C. We pack a Trump survival kit and decide we're giving it away to a listener. Surprise, bitch! I mean Secretary Clinton. Sorry. Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

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Episode #2x21: Welcome, Summer Jun 01, 2016

Show notes

Trash ass alcohol. Melancholy music. Gays. Welcome, summer. Two new confessions ask for our advice about coming out of the closet and online dating, and we handle the quandaries with the grace of a lemming. This week in uplifting news: Johnny Depp turns out to be an asshole and the Catholic Church turns out to still have some assholes. No NSA? No problem. For a couple million dollars, you too can spy on your citizens! New York City is officially recognizing 31 different genders and it means… well, nothing for us. But potential acceptance for others. A new segment examines a day in the life of social media and rewrites these platforms' Terms of Service. Our Surprise, Bitch! guest realizes she's super qualified for a 19-year-old.

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