Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

Latest Episodes:

EP52 Recovery, Connection, and Healing Through Love May 27, 2022

Show notes

Join Heather as she explores three vital messages that can transform your perspective and help you navigate your journey with renewed strength and resilience:

1. Your Personal Recovery Matters: Discover the significance of your own healing journey and why it's equally important alongside your child's recovery. Heather shares insights into dispelling the stigma surrounding addiction and the transformation of understanding.

2. You Are Not Alone: Suffering in silence is a heavy burden. Explore the healing power of community and the importance of connecting with others who share similar experiences. Together, we find solace and support.

3. Connecting Through Love: Learn why connecting with your child through love, not guilt or shame, is paramount. Through personal stories, Heather illustrates the profound impact of love in building resilient relationships.

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

September Invitation to Change Learning/Support Group Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The Invitation To Change Group⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist! Be the first to get details.

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Follow Heather on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow Heather on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

EP51 How To Stop Fixing Your Child And Start Connecting With Them May 13, 2022

Show notes

We're always dancing with the fine line between help and support that comes from a place of love and fixing that comes from a place of fear. Fear can show up in such sneaky ways that you don't realize you're trying to fix your child again. The way out of that is going to the "safe zone" of focusing on connection. In this episode I give you 4 ways to identify that you're in fear and 3 ways to stop fixing and start connecting again.

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM – Join the waitlist – New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

EP50 Three Things I Wish I Did Differently Last Year Apr 08, 2022

Show notes

Even I struggle with fears of enabling. For many years I was a student of the tough love approach, trying to control, and beliefs that didn’t serve me about addiction. No matter how much time I put into creating beliefs that serve me and learning healthy ways to support Helanna, the fear of enabling rather than helping her was always there.

As the result of much introspection about where things went wrong and insight from Helanna’s journal, I want to share 3 things I wish I did differently last year and why I wish I had done them differently.

This is not about blame. It’s about being open minded and learning from the past.

I went into this episode with intention and 3 important factors:

1. Tons of self compassion

2. Knowledge that I could have done all three of those things differently and Helanna still could have died

3. Hope that sharing my experience will make it easier for you to make the best possible decision for your family when faced with similar situations

I can’t change what happened, but I can use it to give you perspective in the tremendously difficult area of navigating your child’s addiction.

Are you interested in the Implementing CRAFT Workshop that starts Monday 4/11/22?

Click here to find out more and sign up!

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/SampleSession

For additional resources:

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

EP49 Beyond Addiction How Science and Kindness Help People Change author Nicole Kosanke PhD Mar 23, 2022

Show notes

Guest Nicole Kosanke, one of the authors of the book Beyond Addiction How Science And Kindness Help People Change and I talk about the book. Hear powerful insights about using CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training), positive reinforcement, and other strategies to help yourself and your child that's struggling with addiction.

In this episode we discuss:

What's happening in your child's brain during active addiction & during recovery.
What CRAFT is and what people struggle with the most to implement it in their life.
Enabling and tough love.
Is relapse a part of recovery?
Is using a choice?
How we can mitigate the risks of fentanyl.

More resources about CRAFT:

https://cmcffc.org/

https://invitationtochange.com/

https://motivationandchange.com/family-services/resources-for-families/

Resources From Heather Ross Coaching

New Support Group Starting in June Use the link below to find out about the Invitation to Change support group Heather is hosting.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Learn More & Sign Up For The Invitation To Change Group⁠

If you're interested in working with me Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call using the link below

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠

GUIDE ABOUT ENABLING - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you!

https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow Heather on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow Heather on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction⁠⁠⁠⁠

EP48 The Struggle is Real -How To Do It Well Feb 22, 2022

Show notes

How you show up for yourself determines how you experience your child's addiction. We aren't wired to be happy all the time. Struggling is inevitable and it's normal. There's wisdom in all our emotions, even the most difficult ones. We need to honor all the feelings that our life circumstances are triggering. Struggling well gives us new perspective so we don't get stuck in apathy. When we embrace the growth and change that our struggle is showing us we can grow and move forward through trying and even traumatic events.

Guest Andrea Seydel and I discussed:

Honoring where you are in your individual journey

Struggling well looks different at different times in your life

How we struggle well and build resilience in the process

The 5 steps to struggling well

What to listen to next:

Episode 37 Post Traumatic Growth

Episode 38 How to Have Self Compassion

Episode 06 Your Words Create Your Quality of Life

Watch the YouTube video of the interview for episode 48

Watch the YouTube Video Andrea and I made last year about struggling well

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Join the free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

Andrea Seydel is the Author of the book and host of the podcast Saving You Is Killing Me We Loving Someone With An Addiction.

Andrea's website https://www.andreaseydel.com/

Saving You Is Killing Me Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-saving-you-is-killing-me-loving-someone-with/id1549250469

Saving You Is Killing Me Book https://www.amazon.com/Saving-You-Killing-Me-Addiction-ebook/dp/B08SR5WLYX

EP47 How Parents Who Heal Help Their Children In The Process Feb 17, 2022

Show notes

Healing starts for us when we connect with other parents like us to hear their stories and share our experiences. When we do that we're no longer alone on this journey. Meeting and engaging with other parents gives us access to insights and resources we need. When we get the support we need, we find the safety and strength to accept ourselves and our children as we are in this moment. That's why my guest Casie Fariello is one of the founders of a new online support community called Other Parents Like Me (OPLM). In this episode we discuss:

How connection is the key to hope, help, and healing

Supporting more than one child with addiction or other challenges

Our first experiences with joining a support community and what we got out of it

Rebuilding a family after addiction

The importance of taking everything you learn about addiction, making it your own, and choosing what you want to implement in your life

The wonderful experiences we've had being a part of OPLM

Watch the video of the interview on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkp0f5AA3zw&feature=youtu.be

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Link to my free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

https://www.facebook.com/groups/434135437166166/?ref=share

Join OPLM and get a free 7 day trial:

https://oplm.com/join/

Follow OPLM on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me

Follow OPLM on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/other.parents.like.me/

EP46 Grief Provides Healing For All Losses, Not Just Death With Guest Julie Cluff Feb 11, 2022

Show notes

There’s a gap between what we expect in life and what we’re experiencing. In that gap is a loss. As parents we have hope and expectations. We expect a fulfilling relationship with our kids, family gatherings, milestones like prom and college, and we expect being a parent to feel good. When addiction shows up we experience the painful gap between what we expect and our reality. We have to grieve those losses so we can let go of what we expected. We can stop wishing the past were different and focus on what we can intentionally create in the future.

In this episode Grief coach Julie Cluff and I discuss:

· Discounting and comparing losses

· We should only compare the impact of our own losses

· What misplaced guilt is and how it affects you

· Finding forgiveness in grief

· Our experiences can be hard and also possible to move through

· We can grieve gently

· The only way to heal from trauma is to choose the empowerment of change

· You don’t have to carry grief the rest of your life

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM – Join the waitlist – New Group Starting soon! Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Link to my free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

https://www.facebook.com/groups/434135437166166/?ref=share

Contact Julie Cluff:

website: buildalifeafterloss.com

free webinar: buildalifeafterloss.com/gift

facebook: Build a Life After Loss with Julie Cluff https://www.facebook.com/buildalifeafterloss

instagram: @buildalifeafterloss

EP45 Honoring Helanna & How I'm Working Through My Grief Jan 26, 2022

Show notes

This is the hardest episode I've ever recorded and also the most important episode I ever recorded.

There's no way I can move forward helping other parents without stopping to honor Helanna's life and what her time on this earth gave to me.

This podcast wouldn't exist without her.

I wouldn't be who I am today without her.

The day that Helanna died I started wondering if I could continue my work helping other parents with their child’s addiction.

I didn’t know if I could face it anymore.

I wanted to hear Helanna’s voice and be close to her somehow, so I listened to the podcast episodes she was on & I realized that it was more important than ever for me to keep doing this work.

Having a child struggling with addiction is the hardest thing some parents will ever face.

Until I lost Helanna to fentanyl poisoning, her addiction has had more of a long-lasting impact on my life more than anything else.

So many parents are struggling alone and in silence because of shame and the stigma that goes with addiction.

There’s no way that I can step aside and not continue helping those parents.

Right now, that’s what is keeping me motivated to live a life that doesn’t include my daughter.

In this episode I share some of the things that I learned while dealing with her addiction and how they’re helping with my grief as well:

· Why we all need our own recovery & how mine saved me from regret in my last conversations with my daughter
· Why you shouldn't carry the pain of your child's addiction alone - Connection is a survival skill for us parents as much as it is for our kids
· Why we need to build the skillset to have difficult conversations with our kids about their addiction & how that's helped me
· Connecting to your child through LOVE instead of guilt, shame, or anger

Link to the episode that explains the model:

https://anchor.fm/heather-ross9/episodes/Episode-16-The-Self-Coaching-Model-eref06

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM – Peace of Mind Group for moms
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Link to my free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

https://www.facebook.com/groups/434135437166166/?ref=share

BONUS One Poisonous Thought Can Affect All Areas of Your Life Nov 05, 2021

Show notes

Your thoughts create your reality. One poisonous thought can cause you a lot of unnecessary pain. It can be the difference between discomfort and great suffering. Recently I realized I had one thought about my future that was draining my creativity, making me feel like I had a limited time to enjoy myself, and it was setting me up to create a bad experience when I have the ability to create a really positive experience.

Link to the episode that explains the model:

https://anchor.fm/heather-ross9/episodes/Episode-16-The-Self-Coaching-Model-eref06

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM – Peace of Mind Group for moms
https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Link to my free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

https://www.facebook.com/groups/434135437166166/?ref=share

EP44 Interview With My Daughter Helanna Johnson- Part 2 Oct 15, 2021

Show notes

We had some great questions come up after my first interview with Helanna (episode 41) so did a second interview.

We discussed:

Suboxone - how it helped - what she wishes she knew before she started using it - why she tapered off it.

How I handled her getting off suboxone.

Fears about losing her sobriety.

What her brain says about why being sober won't work.

How she knew she would use drugs from a young age.

Why she didn't trust me for a long time and what made her start trusting me again.

What made her decide to go to sober living this time when she wouldn't go other times.

How a shift in perspective about parenting can help your child and your relationship with them.

If you want coaching about your child's addiction or anything else Sign up for a 45 minute $17 call with me using the link below

https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery

For additional resources:

Sign up for my free guide 3 Steps To Stay Sane When Your Child Is Struggling with Addiction - How to Move Forward With Confidence TODAY

http://heatherrosscoaching.com/3-simple-steps/

Follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching

Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/

Link to my free Facebook group for parents who are struggling with a child's addiction

https://www.facebook.com/groups/434135437166166/?ref=share

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