It Can’t Be That Bad

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Episode 50: The Fanatic & John Travolta Fatalities Feb 04, 2020

Show notes

The wolves are back, Baddies… they didn’t go anywhere… but they are back… also Christian and Alejandro are the wolves. The Wolves watched the unbelievable film, The Fanatic (2019), starring John Travolta and brought to you via the mind of Fred Durst. Yup, Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst, he’s making movies now. Alejandro uses a new voice for the “Itty Bitty Nitty Gritty Committee”, and… it’s a voice, not the best, but it is a voice. The Boys talk about Travolta’s unprecedented acting in this one. Alejandro weakly tries to get Christian to grow a mustache. And Christian rethinks the phrase “head over heels” for a modern generation. Alejandro has a weird obsession of seeing what’s in other peoples drawers and cupboards.

Episode 49: The Invention of Lying & Fershargle Jan 31, 2020

Show notes

Tea time Baddies! Join Alejandro Baltazar and Christian Middleton as they review The Invention of Lying, starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe, and literally everyone else you can think of... Philip Seymour Hoffman is in this joint. This is the most passive aggressive episode the boys have ever done. Is Christian mad at Alejandro, or is Alejandro done with Christian’s shit, or is it all a lie? You decide. Christian and Alejandro have vastly different views on how cashiers should respond to the question, “how are you?”. And Alejandro comes clean to Nik Lowe three years later.

Episode 48: Robocop (2014) & Free Will or Nah? Jan 28, 2020

Show notes

DEAD OR ALIVE, YOU’RE LISTENING TO THIS PODCAST! Christian “Butterball” Baltazar and Alejandro “Turtleneck” Middleton are joined by a couple of friends, the gorgeous, intelligent, Chris Perry…also Annabella DiFranceso are there but neither of them talk, almost at all. Baddies strap yourselves in for this reboot of a beloved 80’s classic, we watched Robocop (2014), starring Joel Kinnaman, Michael Keaton, Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jay Baruchel. Honestly it’s hard to tell if anyone involved had ever seen OG Robocop but they do their best. Alejandro reveals a shocking low price for certain services. And Christian begrudgingly obliges Alejandro with a “brief” chat about free will and parallel universes. We find out Alejandro and Christian are on opposite sides of the question, “do we trust robots”. Alejandro and Christian throw some “who would win in a fight” scenarios involving Robocop and other 80’s heroes. Christian graces us again with an impeccable Scarface impression.

Episode 47: Wild Wild West & THIS IS FOR KIDS?! Jan 24, 2020

Show notes

Cowboy Christian and Pirate Alejandro venture into the deep waters of Wild Wild West (1999) starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Salma Hayek and Sir Kenneth Branagh. The boys have a collective 37 years of improv experience (not really) and claim they will do anything for hire at work parties or birthday parties. ANYTHING. Alejandro explains how Barbra Streisand's hair dresser and Kevin Smith have a vague connection to the movie somehow. The two can't decipher whether or not this movie is for kids or not. They discuss the amount of ass in the film. Christian wants to be knighted a Sir, and Alejandro wants to be a Don. ICBTB Dildies are also on their way.

Episode 46: Bedazzled & Christian's Vienna Sausage Jan 21, 2020

Show notes

Christian and Alejandro defend Bedazzled (2000) starring Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, and Orlando Jones. They break down how 2020 has been thus far, ask the question, “WTF happened to Brendan Fraser?!” and talk about the lucky number 7. Christian is not smooth with women and neither is Alejandro. Christian has a Vienna Sausage. Alejandro calls Christian a Mister Kisser.

Episode 45: Click & Alejandro Gets Poon? Jan 17, 2020

Show notes

The bangin' boys tackle the tear jerkin' Adam Sandler classic, Click (2006), starring the Sandman himself, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, Cameron Monaghan, Katie Cassidy, David Hasselhoff, Jonah Hill and Sean Astin. They break down their favorite moments in the film, whether they want a son or daughter, and discuss the importance of family. Alejandro talks about what makes him cry and Christian says he cries like a baby as well. The two then get real and the episode actually gets pretty deep. Oh also, they talk about how much they love Rob Schneider's character.

Episode 44: Very Bad Things & Frank Zappa Facts w/ David McEuen Jan 14, 2020

Show notes

Baddies listen up here... even you reading this acting like you’re not a Baddie.. you are, YOU F*CKING ARE! Anyways, the boys are joined by David McEuen who brings the it ti the table not just the movie, Very Bad Things (1998), starring Christian Slater, Cameron Diaz, Jon Favreau, and Jeremy Piven. David also brings two notebooks full of notes. Listen as Alejandro and David go tit-for-tat on facts that have no relevance. Christian and Alejandro reminisce on the tall tale that Marilyn Manson could... well you know the rumor. Then Christian talks about the little boy underwear that Cameron Diaz wore in Charlie’s Angels.

Episode 43: The Bye Bye Man & The PeePee PooPoo Man w/ Rob Glatzel Jan 10, 2020

Show notes

Bye bye Baddies, sorry but according to this film you’re all condemned now for even thinking about the Bye Bye Man’s name. Despite that the Boys are joined by the talented Rob Glatzel aka G-Money Honey as they review The Bye Bye Man starring Carrie-Anne MossDouglas Smith, Cressidra Bones, and Michael Trucco. This movie decides to follow a myth but take no time to explain it’s back story. Alejandro digs deeper and finds that the true story of the Bye Bye Man is way cooler than the movie itself. Rob reviles that he found this movie from a meme. And Christian is confused because they use a land line in 2017.

Episode 42: Suicide Squad & Will Smith Royal Rumble Jan 07, 2020

Show notes

This film tickles them two ICBTB boys pink. Christian and Alejandro review the crown jewel of DC’s cinematic universe, Suicide Squad, directed by David Ayers, and starring Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Jared Leto, Jai Courtney, Viola Davis and Cara Delevingne. This movie is the reason people don’t like superhero films, and to be honest, it’s hard to tell if even the boys liked this one, Baddies. Christian compares Alejandro to Mark Wahlberg and he’s not wrong. Alejandro poses the question, does Will Smith’s characters make less money than real life Will Smith? But in every coal mine there’s a canary, and the canary for Suicide Squad is Jared Leto’s Joker… you read that right, the best part of this film is Academy Award Winner, Jared Leto. The parts are greater than the whole in this film, thus Christian tries to sell his re-edit of this two hour film into a miniseries for Netflix.

Episode 41: Cats (2019) & Taylor Swift Kitty Titties w/ Juliet Farnsworth-Perry & Melissa Lopez Jan 03, 2020

Show notes

The Boys are joined by damsels not in distress, Juliet Farnsworth-Perry and Melissa Lopez. Together, they review Cats (2019), starring Francesca Hayward, Jennifer Hudson, Judi Dench, Revel Wilson, Ian McKellen, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, James Corden and Taylor Swift. This movie is absolutely CRAZY and we try our darndest to defend it. Juliet is sexually attracted to a humping cat and Melissa wins a competition. Christian explains cat physiology and Alejandro defines a hypotenuse. The boys think cartoon characters are THICCC and Juliet’s dad gives us a call.

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