It Can’t Be That Bad

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Episode 60: Small Soldiers & The Boys Throw Down Mar 10, 2020

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60 EPISODES WHAT?! The boys tackle and defend Small Soldiers (1998) starring Gregory Smith, Kirsten Dunst, Tommy Lee Jones, Phil Hartman, David Cross, Denis Leary, the cast of the Dirty Dozen and the cast of Spinal Tap. Christian throws down. Alejandro thinks he can beat Christian in a Throw Down Show Down. The boys are Thanos and the Hulk. Alejandro loves 7-11 food and has a tight bod. Christian looks good in a sweater from far away.

Episode 59: Sex and the City 2 & Beers in the Shower Mar 06, 2020

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Miranda (Alejandro) and Charlotte (Christian) take a break from the real world and watch this delight, Sex and the City 2 (2010) starring the Fab Four, Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrell, and Kristin Davis. Surprisingly the Boys have so much to say about this franchise, one that is not intended for them at all. The Boys also debut their idea for a new reality show “Rich Enough”. And Christian thinks there’s hundreds of women who listen to this podcast. Alejandro thinks it’s closer to ten, yet thinks more people listen to this podcast whilst drinking a beer in the shower. Alice Eve has the smallest part in the movie yet the largest part in the podcast. And let us know if you can, in less than an hour, explain the entire franchise to us, you will get “Baddie of the Year” award. Bonus points to the Baddie who can explain how Ron White got a role in this film.

Episode 58: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard & We Start a Boy Band Mar 03, 2020

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Your favorite boys review and defend The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009) starring Jeremy Piven, Kathryn Hahn, Ving Rhames, David Koechner, James Brolin, Ed Helms, Ken Jeong, Jordana Spiro, Rob Riggle, Alan Thicke, Tony Hale, Craig Robinson, Will Ferrell, and so many more. Christian finally hugs his dad and wants to get his chest waxed. Alejandro sells pens and wears underwear that makes him feel big. Rob Riggle is Rob Ribble and Adam Driver is a whacky name. The boys sell M&M's and start a boy band.

Episode 57: Mr. Right & Richard is Long For Dick Feb 28, 2020

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Christian "I Can Grow a Mustache" Baltazar and Alejandro "I Can't Grow a Mustache" Middleton review and defend Mr. Right (2015) starring Sam Rockwell, Anna Kendrick, Tim Roth, and RZA. This the most distracted and whacky episode yet. Alejandro might see a doctor for 90 likes and hates his new pornstar name: AleXXXjandro. Christian might grow a mustache for 45 likes and calls himself Tommy Salami. The boys argue semantics for a while. They discuss the tastiest part of the body and enjoy meatloaf in the lungs. They summarize the movie in Russian and rap to weird beatboxing.

Episode 56: Venom & The Beefy Flows Feb 25, 2020

Show notes

Swing in for this one Baddies, Dig Bick Christian and Schlong Blong Alejandro peek at a film where Tom Hardy gets super powers. They watched Venom (2018), starring THE Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, and Jenny Slate. It’s happened Baddies... Fat Christian makes a return, even if it’s just for a brief, yet beautiful, moment. Alejandro still can’t remember birthdays and shaves his armpits and insists everyone should do the same. This episode is FULL of speculation from Alejandro so take most of it with a grain of salt... like most other #Alejandrofacts. Christian likes when his B.P.o.S. is a surprise for Alejandro. They discuss the terms finger gun and finger bang and dive deep into why villains are scary. Then by the end of the episode Alejandro talks himself out of liking this film.

Episode 55: Horse Girl & #AlejandroFacts Feb 21, 2020

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Hey there Baddies... let’s get spacey with this one. The Boys watched the newly released Netflix Original, Horse Girl (2020). Alison Brie kills this crazy film, also starring Debby Ryan, John Paul Reynolds, Paul Reiser, and Molly Shannon. Definitely watch this one before listening to the episode Baddies. Alejandro goes Full Nerd and straight up Tin-Foil-Hat Conspiracy Theorists on this one. Christian has to sit there and let it happen. Christian then lets the secret out on the differences of “Facts” and “Alejandro Facts”. Alejandro tries to convince Christian his girlfriend has been replaced by an alien-human hybrid. And if that’s not enough for you how about the Boys discuss a human’s souls, consciousness, and death, exactly what you want from a comedy podcast.

Episode 54: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation & Otis the Biting Winker w/ Otis Parker Feb 18, 2020

Show notes

FIGHT!! Christian and Alejandro take on the task of defeating the behemoth, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997), starring Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, Sandra Hess, James Remar, and Lynn Williams. Otis is allowed to speak up on this episode. Alejandro unknowingly ruins Johnny Cage for Christian. Alejandro finally stands up to Christian’s bigotry... Power to the people! ALL PEOPLE! Both Christian and Otis know this franchise front to back which is perfect because Alejandro doesn’t know anything about MK and still tries to recast the film. Otis has perfected reverse psychology and it pushes Alejandro over the edge. All the boys described their versions of “Fatalities”. Alejandro claims to be the smartest man in the room, and is immediately tested, and immediately fails. Then the Three Amigos get weird, like, they go straight bananas. #kissesforchristian

Episode 53: Valentine's Day & Alejandro the Best Friend Feb 14, 2020

Show notes

Happy Valentine's Day Baddies! We hope you have a special night planned for that special someone in your life, and we also hope it involves listening to Christian & Alejandro discuss a Gary Marshall Classic (a GMC if you will). Valentine's Day (2010) stars (in no particular order) Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Carter Jenkins, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifa, Taylor Launter, Shirley McClain, George Lopez, and Taylor Swift. The Boys can agree on one thing for sure, and that's the fact that, of Gary Marshall's holiday three pack, this one hits a home run. Full of plot twist and turns, Alejandro and Christian can barely contain themselves talking about this rom-com that has more set up and payoffs than the Avengers franchise. Christian reveals that as a kid he was forced to look at Richard Gere's ass, then Alejandro is forced to listen to Christian's plans on seducing an older generation of women, "GILFS" as some calls them. But lets not forget what this holiday is all about... a saint who refused to listen to the Emperor of Rome and was killed for the sinister act of marrying people who were in love.

Episode 52: White Chicks & Busty Philipps Feb 11, 2020

Show notes

Your favorite Zaddy Baddie Boiz tackle the Wayans Bros. classic, White Chicks (2004), starring Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Trrry Crews, Busy Philipps, and Jaime King. They acknowledge Mr. Elephant in the room ask the question, “is it racist?”. Alejandro is bad with names. Christian points out he’s bad with names. The boys change Busy Philipp’s name.

Episode 51: Dark Crimes & Mr. Fun Facts Feb 07, 2020

Show notes

Toughen the F*ck Up Baddies this one will test your grit. Christian and Alejandro put their serious hats on for this one, Dark Crimes (2016) starring Jim Carrey, Martin Csokas, and Charlotte Gainsbourg. This movie has ALL of the things you can think of as a “dark” crime and thus is not intended for those of us that don’t do well with graphic content. But if you’ve ever wondered what a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes looks like... well it looks like this.

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