It Can’t Be That Bad

Latest Episodes:

Episode 79: Arkansas (2020) & The Type-Cast Buster May 15, 2020

Show notes

Nope, not a Ken Burns Documentary about the state of Arkansas, but the movie that was released in the dead of the night. This is a brand new super intense film that Alejandro and Christian fell hard in love with. Arkansas is an epic crime thriller from the mind of Clark Duke... yeah the guy from Sex Drive (check out our Episode 26: Sex Drive & We Love Taxis). Mr. Duke is flanked by Liam Hemsworth, John Malkovch, Vince Vaughn, Vivica A. Fox, and Eden Brolin. Not a lot of distractions in this one, Baddies, straight movie review on something that you should see immediately. Otis naps in the background as the Boys plan to re-edit Titanic to feature Christian’s Mom. Alejandro thinks hair plugs come from butt holes and Christian praises baby faced killers. Arizona is available on demand, so check it out! Check out our website at https://www.icbtb.com Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/it-cant-be-that-bad/id1470379470 Or listen to us on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/7FsYf47r7B8fyxgG9elgt9?si=o4k6CKcKS96N6k2t-_WBVw

Episode 78: Mother's Day (2016) & We Are Platonic Life Partners May 12, 2020

Show notes

Hey there, Baddies, hows your mother? Hope she’s good and enjoyed her Mother’s Day! Or if you hate your mother, we hate her too. We round out the Garry Marshall Three with this holiday film starring Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts, Jason Sudeikis, and Timothy Olyphant. The Boys take some time out of their busy schedules to sit back and talk all about their mothers. But that’s not all they discuss; left handed-ness and right handed-ness, rare instances of being in a “straight” minority, and using a big birthday surprise to skimp on a Mother’s Day present. Alejandro wants to be Christian’s “Life Partner”, and makes a passionate case. Stupidity is shocking. Also they barely talk about this movie because it’s Garry’s worst of the three, I mean you know... sometimes the boys get distracted but it’s cool.

Episode 77: Roadhouse & OG Bar Rescue May 08, 2020

Show notes

Saddle up to the bar, grab a Miller High Life, light a Marlboro up and comb that mullet because it’s time for the 80’s mega classic Roadhouse. both the Nee York Police Department and Peter Griffin’s favorite movie may now also be Alejandro’s. Starring the man, the myth, the legend, The Patrick Swayze, and also the other man, myth, legend, Sam Elliot, and a third man, myth, legend, Jeff Healey. And don’t get your panties in a bunch... there’s some mythical, legendary women in this too. Alejandro doesn’t want to share comedic bits with Christian. The Boys make up their own synopses. Christian and Alejandro make no effort to hide their infatuation with Patrick Swayze’s looks and karate. And shout out to our friends over at The Reel Buzzed Crew podcast available anywhere this is... I think... Alejandro claims this movie is actually about P-Swaz hiding in plain sight as a serial killer who happens to also be gay, honestly it’s not Alejandro’s craziest claim. Christian wants to learn how to roundhouse kick but won’t let Alejandro teach him.

Episode 76: Love Wedding Repeat & Brave British Accents May 05, 2020

Show notes

Alejandro “Gigante” Middleton and Christian “Pequeño Pequeño” Baltazar dissect the multilevel labyrinth of a mind f*ck that is Love, Wedding, Repeat (2020). Christian “Pequeño Pequeño” Baltazar and Alejandro “Gigante” Middleton dissect the multilevel labyrinth of a mind f*ck that is Love, Wedding, Repeat. Alejandro “Pequeño Pequeño” Middleton and Christian “Gigante” Baltazar dissect the multilevel labyrinth of a mind f*ck that is Love, Wedding, Repeat... wait a minute am I stuck on endless time loop like Netflix’s newest rom-com!? A coke head, an out of work actor, a philandering bride, and a war journalist walk into a wedding reception and no this isn’t a joke it’s a movie starring Olivia Munn, Sam Caflin, Joel Fry, and Aisling Bea are in. Christian doesn’t know when he’s being too nice but uses it to hide behind so Alejandro can’t get made when Christian is late. Alejandro defends polygamist and Christian thinks he’s being manipulative. Lastly Alejandro claims he can talk his way out of anything.

Episode 75: Space Jam & He Doth Protest Too Much May 01, 2020

Show notes

Welcome to the Space Jam Baddies! Michael Jordan isn’t just hot in pop culture this week but let us not forget that he and Bugs Bunny once lead a charge against the most annoying aliens to ever grace the silver screen. Space Jam is a childhood favorite that Alejandro thinks is full of a conspiracy theory that shackled Michael Jordan to make this film. Christian swears that Alejandro would still enjoy Animaniacs cartoon. Alejandro and Christian explain the differences between the competitiveness in sports and entertainment. Listen up Baddies we got some questions for you...Who would win in a Basketball game between Alejandro and Christian? Jesus or Jordan? Is Daffy Duck a Laker fan? Did the Looney Toons have superpowers? Lola Bunny or Lt. Judy Hopps? Let us know who you think wins at our website icbtb.com or on our instagram @icbtbpodcast . Also don't forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, it really helps! Link Below https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/it-cant-be-that-bad/id1470379470

Episode 74: The Girl Next Door (2004) & We Can Talk About This When My Dick Blows Off Apr 28, 2020

Show notes

Grab you backpacks and acne cream we’re headed back to high school for this on Baddies. The Girl Next Door stars Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Chris Marquette, Paul Dano, and Timothy Olyphant, keep a peeled eye out Baddies because Olive Wilde makes a sneaky cameo. Alejandro offers to be the biological father to Christians babies. Also in this episode Christian reads the synopsis and does a better job than Alejandro ever did. Alejandro was an asshole in high school (no surprise) but he also lorded that power over younger students (also not a surprise). And Christian thinks Alejandro is disgusting, he responds like a child. Alejandro thinks he understands movie finances... he doesn’t. Christian goes Chess board shopping. Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/it-cant-be-that-bad/id1470379470 Check out our website at https://www.icbtb.com

Episode 73: Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Whoop Gold Apr 24, 2020

Show notes

Lock and Load Baby, Alejandro and Christian suit up for the romantic-action-comedy-coming-of-age tale that is Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005). Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie literally fall in love in front of our very eyes. Alejandro shares an experience he had with a Creationist Museum. And Christian can’t disagree with the fact that this is a perfect movie, he didn’t say that, but I’m sure he’ll read this and agree. Armie Hammer throws Christian for a loop. Alejandro gives Christian a chance to redeem himself when it comes to holding a baby. The Boys question, “Is John Smith actually good at his job, or is he just lucky?”. Vince Vaughn writes Alejandro’s next pick up line. Christian hates money sequels and is actually happy they won’t be making a sequel.

Episode 72: Snakes on a Plane & Riblets n' PCP Apr 21, 2020

Show notes

Slither in for this python of a movie that we all know and love (?). Samuel L. Jackson does all the classic things in this rollercoaster ride of a movie, he says MF’er, he shoots guns, he saves the day, we all remember this one, Snakes On A Plane (2006). Right off the bat Alejandro makes a claim that bullies are a good thing, which is just an unbelievable thing but not the craziest thing for him to say. Christian and Alejandro unveil their rating system for movies. Alejandro talks about how he killed a snake to save a bunch of children. The movie is the most Chaotic Good movie ever made, as Alejandro says, “The assholes get eaten, the good guys get eaten.” The Boys are blown away by the surprise must video at the end of the film. And Christian gets very hungry during recording and he can’t stop thinking about food. Lastly they touch on last words in a zombie apocalypse.

Episode 71: Spanglish & The Egg Sandwich Movie Apr 17, 2020

Show notes

Fri-yay Baddies! Unwind with this super intense gore-fest... oh wait no no sorry that’s a different movie, this one is Spanglish my mistake this is a way different flick starring Adam Sandler, Téa Leoni, and Paz Vega. James L. Brooks has a chance to direct one of the worlds greatest comedians and makes the bold choice to have him not be funny, don’t run off yet because it totally works. Both of the Boys has a large black coffee prior to recording and it makes itself known. Alejandro does a dead on impression of Christian. And Christian learns how to roll his R’s. The Boys list off Téa’s many bad traits that lead to her being the worst person in this film. And Alejandro is brutally honest in all senses. Christian also thinks this movie has the weirdest sex scene in the history of cinema.

Episode 70: The Three Musketeers (1993) & PG Game of Thrones ft. Matt Middleton Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

All for one and one for all Baddies! Christian of Baltazar and Alejandro of Nazareth cross the dunes to bring a review of the modern contemporary art masterpiece that is The Three Musketeers (1993). Kiefer Sutherland, Oliver Platt, and God-Fearing Charlie Sheen helm said musketeers, and Chris O’Donnell joins in with the group, at great risk to the tittle, when he finds out Tim Curry is playing the bad guy. Alejandro thinks neither of the Boys could survive if they time travelled to any time before 1990. Christian is far more familiar with the candy Three Musketeers than he is with the actual story written in 1844. And Christian drops semi-reliable knowledge about the classic Colt 45. Alejandro thinks this film takes place in the 14th century and has zero clue that he’s off by about 500 years, then he calls his brother, Matt Middleton, to get his thoughts on the film that was a staple in their house growing up. Christian and Alejandro have a hearty laugh at the idea of Christian being tricked into starring in the worst produced porno. Alejandro has the same BPOS as his brother and hates it.

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