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I Do, We Do — Society & Culture
I Do, We Do

This podcast is hosted by Billy and Ashley Moyer, AKA Bashley, a millennial couple committed to their careers, lifelong learning, and philanthropy. Bashley believes that TOGETHER they can achieve more. This weekly show is about how they find success as a team of two in business and life in general, and how their differences make them stronger.

Latest Episodes:

EP 32: Enneagram Part 2 Feb 18, 2019

Show notes

We're revisiting the Enneagram! The ever popular Enneagram is back on our minds but we're focusing on what it's like to work with a Type 8 (Billy) and a Type 2 (Ashley). We talk through a few characteristics typical of a Type 8 (The Challenger) & Type 2 (The Helper), how they relate to each of us, and how we work around these traits and embrace them to be a powerhouse team of two. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

A recap on our enneagram types
- Billy is a Type 8: The Challenger
- Ashley is a Type 2: The Helper
- These types are more similar than they seem both desire impact & influence but have different ways about achieving it
- - Type 8 is direct and results oriented
  - Type 2 is people-oriented and altruistic
Type 2 is nicknamed The Helper and it couldn't describe Ashley more perfectly. She has built her career on helping others and takes this on in her personal life too.
Type 8 loves to challenges but loves to give other the opportunity to be challenged and convinces others to take on challenges
- Ashley often tells Billy when she convincible
- When we started this podcast, Billy always asked "What's the end result?" to which Ashley responded "Just to have fun." Later, he convinced her to start business which they officially started in February 2019.
Type 2 can be seen as a fairy-godmother
- Unknowingly, Ashley often jokes about being a fairy godmother to the many scholarship recipients of the non-profit she runs
- How Ashley needs a wand
Type 8s love control and hate being controlled, which completely describes Billy
- Even physically, Billy hates certain positions when cuddling because he doesn't have control of his body
- Ashley had difficulty working with this when before she was always the one who was forced to make plans
- - She doesn't desire control, but likes to fill needs and help others
Type 2s are empathetic and are in tune to others, Type 8s like results and often loses emotional contact
- Billy doesn't walk into situations wanting to make friends, but recognizes that others might & that's where Ashley's skillset shines
- Ashley often serves as a consultant for Billy when communicating emotions with others
Type 2s help others so much, it often is to the detriment of their own health
- When Ashley gets tired or stressed, her emotions come out. Billy then asks himself, "What can I do for Ashley to help her, so she's not always being the helper?"

EP 31: Our Love Story Feb 11, 2019

Show notes

It's Valentine's Day week and we thought it was about time for us to share our love story with you. Isn't it crazy that it took us 31 episodes to share this story? In this episode, we share how Billy Moyer and Ashley Alaniz met, fell in love, got engaged and became Bashley! You get to hear who was smitten with the other first, how we split the cost of our first date, got engaged after dating for 6 months and had one epic wedding. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Where we were in our lives before we met in April 2010
- Billy was almost two years out of college and working to build his business.
- - After trying a bit too hard in past relationships he had decided to focus on work.
- Ashley was almost a year out of college and had just started her first job.
- - She was still in college mode doing some partying and was living with her parents.
- A new work friend of Ashley and Billy's best friend introduced us.
Our first date - We went to a restaurant in downtown Fort Worth, Texas where Billy paid and a Comedy Club where Ashley paid.
- Billy finally went in for a kiss at the door dropping Ashley at home after chickening out many times before
- Ashley told her friends that night that she was going to marry Billy
It took Billy a little longer to know the relationship was for real, but when he did he started looking at rings.
- This was in July only 6 weeks after our first date
We got engaged on November 6, 2010.
- It happened on a picnic at TCU where Ashley went to college.
- Billy had a surprise for her which she finally opened.
- - It was a big box and inside was a football that asked her to marry him.
  - Billy got down on one knee and after about 5 seconds that felt like an hour Ashley, said yes.
We became Bashley on November 5, 2011.
- We got married in Saint Mary Cathedral in downtown Austin.
- Our reception was a ton of fun and it included a Piano Bar!

EP 30: We Do Collaboration Feb 04, 2019

Show notes

In episode 30 of the I Do, We Do podcast, we dig deeper into Collaboration. This subject has been a part of every episode we have done as it is the basis for the show, but we wanted to dedicate a whole episode to it. We talk about the difference between support and collaboration. We share why and how we collab with each other and of course share some of the challenges. We also discuss some collab killers that can kill any team. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

The difference between supporting your partner and collaborating (or collabing!) with your partner
- Support looks like selling your partner's books after a speaking engagement, taking photos, helping each other with events
- Collabing is utilizing you & your partner's differences to achieve epic results
The ways we collab

- This podcast, our business Bashley Collaborative
- Community events like the LEAD Summit and CTX Signing Day
Why we weren't collaborators early in our relationship
- We've learned our different styles and get better results when we embrace this
Challenges we have faced
- Learning new things about each other that we may have never known
- Remembering to not settle into roles that come easy
Our Collab Killers
- Read more about them at: https://www.bashleymoyer.com/blogpost/2018/8/5/relationship-and-collaboration-killers

EP 29: Inspiring Duos - Ed & Janie Alaniz Jan 28, 2019

Show notes

We're so excited to be bringing you another interview. This one is extra special because we are sitting down with Ashley's parents, Ed & Janie Alaniz. Having celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary, they share all their tips for balancing different personalities and using values to ground yourself and your relationship. Plus hear their real opinion of Billy 7 years after joining the family! Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

How Ashley's parents identify as total opposites
- Janie is the social butterfly, Ed is the quiet observant type
The key step in the managing differences in a relationship
- Mutual respect! - There is no need to force the other person to be like the other
The best examples of collaboration in their relationship
- Managing their parent roles equally
- Ed earning his MBA while working full-time and Janie was pregnant with Ashley's sister
The moment when they knew Ashley would build a career in service to others
Where their passion for service came from
- Janie's inspiration from a fellow cancer survivor
- Ed's Catholic upbringing… and how he stole candy during service projects!
The thing Billy & Ed share in common
How Billy's values helped Ed & Janie better understand him as a future son-in-law
Its okay to disagree but you need to understand their values and where the other person is coming from

EP 28: We Do Procrastination Jan 21, 2019

Show notes

Coincidence this episode is the latest we've ever published a podcast? Doubtful. It's because we love to procrastinate. In this episode of I Do, We Do, we are talking all about dragging our heels, putting things off, delegating to our future selves, … all nice ways to say we have a tendency to procrastinate. You'll hear all about our what procrastination looks like to each of us, our key triggers, and our methods for overcoming. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Why each of us has a tendency to procrastinate
- For Billy, it's because he does his best work under pressure and possibly has undiagnosed ADD
- For Ashley, its because she is and efficient worker but always says "Oh, that only takes me 15 minutes to do. I can always do it later."
Our biggest triggers for procrastination
- Our schedules - Ashley procrastinates when her schedule is too open. Billy is the opposite and procrastinates when he has a busy schedule and too much is on his plate
- No deadlines - if it isn't urgent or have a clear deadline, Billy will continue to put it off
- No vision for final result - Ashley won't spend time on a project without knowing the final result because she views it as a possible waste of her time
Our methods for overcoming procrastination
- Accountability partners - We have both given each other permission to hold ourselves accountable
- David Allen's Getting Things Done method & bullet journaling
- Breaking tasks down into smaller ones
- Scheduling time to work on projects & tasks

EP 27: We Do Accountability Jan 14, 2019

Show notes

We've spent the last three episodes talking about our goal setting process and now it's time to get to the most important part -- ACTION. We've given each other permission to hold us accountable to our goals. But to make sure this doesn't turn into nagging, we have built some structure around how we will hold ourselves & each other accountable to our 2019 goals. We share more about our Action + Accountability plan, our regular check-ins, and structured work sessions. You can grab your own copy of our Action + Accountability Plan at bashleymoyer.com/action. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

The key document we created to hold ourselves accountable to our goals
- In a spreadsheet, we track our goals, start/end dates, who is responsible, and important notes
- Grab yours at bashleymoyer.com/action
How goals and action go hand in hand
- Action is what makes goals different than resolutions
The importance of giving your partner permission to hold you accountable to your goals
- This isn't permission to nag!
Our two methods for getting stuff done - regular check ins & scheduled work sessions
What we talk about in our regular check ins
- Daily - where we discuss immediate needs & actions, allows us to make sure we working on our goals every single day
- Weekly - scheduled on calendar, a time to regroup & revisit our Action + Accountability plan (link) and figure out who is working on what for the next week
- Monthly- where we get a bit more strategical, determine what tweaks (or pivot) we need
- Quarterly- more of a retreat like (link) check in, a time to hit the reset button
- Each check-in we zoom out a bit more and take a look at the big picture
Giving you all permission to hold us accountable to our goals
- Once a quarter, we will come back on the podcast and give you all an update on our progress to our goals
Some of our personal tactics to hold ourselves accountable as individuals
- For Billy, this is a habit tracker or 1-31 tracking list
- For Ashley, this is worksheets that are personally designed with key questions and reminders

EP 26: 2019 Planning Retreat Jan 07, 2019

Show notes

Taking time away to plan for a new year is really important for us. But we understand that not everyone does it! That's why in this episode, we're sharing more about our 2019 planning retreat. We explain the decisions leading into us taking time away (versus staying home), our agenda for the 3 days, and how we turned goals into a timeline. It's was a time for us to relax, reflect on 2018, and set our goals and intentions for the new year. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Why every set of partners should go on a retreat
The prep work required to go on a retreat with your partner
- The deciding factors that led us to pick Lakeway Resort & Spa for our retreat
- What made us plan for a three day retreat
- The homework we gave ourselves
Our first night's agenda
- Prioritizing our conversation around our marriage, relationship, and personal needs
- That vulnerability really opens you up for some powerful conversations
- The one question that set the tone for the next day: Is this podcast a hobby or do we want to build a business? (Spoiler alert: a business)
The questions we asked ourselves to move this from hobby to business
- Identifying who we have connected with the most through this podcast and social media
- What we want to get out of our business together
The need to separate while on a retreat to focus on personal goals
- You'll hear how Ashley wanted to start over on her list
Coming back together to discuss personal goals and identifying goals that we need to set together to be successful
The number of goals we find manageable for a year
Moving our goals into action plans

EP 25: Looking Forward to 2019 Dec 31, 2018

Show notes

Another year come and gone! Last week (EP #24) we reflected back on 2018, the highs and lows. In this week's episode, we are focusing on the goals we are setting for ourselves in 2019. We're sharing what we plan to do in our 9-5s, our work together, individually and even some other goals we have together. Let us know how we can help you with all your goals for the new year! Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked about in this Episode:

The thing we are most looking forward to in 2019
- For Ashley, this is her sister's wedding
- For Billy, it's all of the travel we have scheduled for 2019
- - including… a bachelorette/bachelor party for Ashley's sister and future husband
Ashley's goal to work more efficiently
- especially, turning off the TV when working from home
Our individual goals to be a better spouse to one another
- For Billy, this is getting more vulnerable and opening up about his feelings
- For Ashley, this is being a better listener and speaking to Billy in his love language
How learning is always a goal of ours
- Billy is challenging himself to read a book a week, Ashley is a book a month
- Ashley constantly listening to podcasts, but Billy's goal is to listen to at least one a week
- Our desire to attend conferences in areas we can still learn in
- Billy's desire to take a finance course and Ashley's want to journal more
Our work goals
How we are prioritizing our involvement in the community
- Embracing the learning opportunities and the opportunities to mentor others
- Being the board member our commitments need and deserve
The relationships Billy is working on repairing and the one he is letting go
Our desire to keep improving our health and wellness
Our financial goals
How we plan to go all in on our online community
- Our goal to build an online course
- How we want to connect with more couples working together
- Our desire to write a book together
- How we plan to deliver constant and consistent content to you every week
Our process for setting annual goals together

EP 24: Looking Back on 2018 Dec 24, 2018

Show notes

2018 quite literally started off with a bang. And not in a good way. In this episode, we discuss our best moments in 2018 and those not so great moments. Rather than just giving the Instagram highlight reel, we dig a bit deeper and share the lessons we learned throughout the year. We've had so many great and challenging experiences this year and are so grateful for each one for everything we have learned. Stay tuned for Part II, where we will Look Forward to 2019. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked about in this Episode:

Carrying too many distractions into 2018 and the result
- managing a car accident at a terrible time
- resetting financial goals
Our accomplishments in the community
- For Billy, this was serving as the Chair of a board of directors
- For Ashley, this was a special recognition she received
Our travels and our favorite trip of the year -- Rome!
- Ashley's first intercontinental trip
- Experiencing a different culture
Our health journey
- What caused it
- How we kick-started healthier eating habits
The need for more of a challenge
- Ashley operated in cruise control throughout most of the year
- Procrastinating on several committees out of familiarity
How our work together has satisfied our need for a challenge
- Facilitated programs & hosting corporate workshops
- We learned so much about each other and ourselves
- We've learned to meet each other where we are

EP 23: The Art of Compromise Dec 17, 2018

Show notes

The holidays are here! For many couples, 'tis is the season to compromise. Deciding where to be for the big holidays was one of the hardest conversations we had early in our relationship. There was some tears and there was some yelling, but we have learned that compromise is key. That's why in this week's episode we are digging a little deeper into that early conversation, sharing a few other ways we compromise, and providing a few tips for you to keep in mind the next time you are struggling to reach a compromise. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked about in this Episode:

The inspiration for this episode - the holidays! ...and managing expectations for family get-togethers
How we started the conversation of dividing the holidays
- What the non-negotiables were for each of us
Creating more win-win situations
Where we have combined our families for even bigger & greater celebrations
Billy's Grinch-like feelings about holiday get-togethers
Other areas of our relationship that require compromise
- Billy's desire to live in different neighborhoods in Austin
- Selling our second car & continuing to share one car
Not compromising on our values, clearly communicating
Compromise is not easy, but get easier by
- Picking your battles
- Keeping an open-mind
- Seeking to understand
- Communicating with your partner

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