I Do, We Do

Latest Episodes:

EP 42: Our Ego Is Showing Apr 29, 2019

Show notes

Ego is a dirty little word and we are dedicating an entire episode to it. We recently noticed others disguising their self-serving actions as the acts of a servant leader. We then challenged ourselves to look inward and determine how our egos affect us. In this episode, we discuss the dirty side of our egos, what our ugly egos look like, the ways it affects our relationship, and how it impacts others and our leadership. Plus for some reason, Billy snorts in the middle of this episode. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Examples of ego and self-serving leadership
The ways ego interferes with our relationship
- For Billy, its putting himself into every situation and giving advice or a coaching session when Ashley shares a struggle or issue
- For Ashley, it's an inability to apologize when in the wrong out of fear of looking like the lesser person
Why Billy snorts in the middle of a podcast episode
How ego disables us as leaders
- Our shared "my way or the highway" mentality that possible stems from an egotistical view of being the smartest person in the room
- Reminding ourselves why we are doing what we do
- - For Ashley, is it for praise?
  - For Billy, is it for power?
What reality star reminds Ashley of Billy
- Hint: They have a massive ego

EP 41: Struggling To Be Our Best Selves Apr 22, 2019

Show notes

We talk a lot about goals, action, and achievement on this podcast. But we are human. There are things that hold us back from being our best selves. Rather than pointing the finger at external obstacles, we are looking inwards and sharing the ways we hold ourselves back. There is lots of vulnerability in this episode. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Looking at external factors that gold you back is easy, but it's hard to look internally
- The biggest obstacle to every goal is yourself
The ways we hold ourselves back
- For Billy, it is thinking too far in the past
- - He overanalyzes his past actions and their impact on the present
- For Ashley, it is being too concerned with what others perceive
- - There is an interesting balance of managing credibility and maintaining humility
- For or us together, it is being too comfortable with one another
- - We fall into our roles and do not challenge ourselves

EP 40: Q1 Goals Check-In Apr 15, 2019

Show notes

Back in episode 38, we discussed some changes with our plans for 2019. But just how much did those changes affect our progress on our 2019 goals? In this week's episode, we take you through each of our joint goals & action steps and grade our progress over the last quarter. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Our 2019 started off really strong, but come February we were thrown a major curveballs
The effects of this curveball on our work habits
Our progress towards our 2019 goals
- Complete 2 consulting or philanthropy projects
- Speak together 4 times
- Build social media presence
- Grow email list to 1,000 subscribers
- Stay consistent with our podcast
- Blog every week
- Host online course
- Write book

EP 39: We Re-Do Dreams Apr 08, 2019

Show notes

In this episode of I Do, We Do, we re-do one of most popular episodes. We each share and discuss 10 new dreams and work them out together in order to add to our official combined Dream List. We love dreaming and setting goals. Hopefully hearing us go through this process will show you just how simple it is.

Click here for a free Goal Setting for Partners download.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

We each share and discuss our 10 dreams

Ashley's Dream List

See the Northern lights
Take a trip with both sets of parents... and pick up the tab
Take an immersion trip into a cultural trip (like SBE)
Learn Spanish
Make a large philanthropic gift somewhere
Own property = (i.e. owning a building downtown, a chunk of land, etc.)
Have an impact on education policy; provide a lot of testimony like policy change locally, at the state, or national level
Speak to a large group of people (thousands)
Make a career change for the challenge
Host an international exchange student

Billy's Dream List

Live in Center City Philadelphia
Go to the Kentucky Derby
Live in another country
Write a novel (wrote 4 business leadership related books)
Star in a musical
Own a Philly sports team
Make a 6 figure donation
Play a basketball game in the Palestra arena in Philadelphia
Have a beer with Chase Utley
Run for political office
- "We talk a lot about our problems, we complain a lot about our problems, but rarely will people step up and do something to put a stop that problem.

Added to Combined Dream List

Take a vacation with both sets parents... and pick up the tab
Spend a significant amount of time in another country to culturally immerse ourselves
See the northern lights
Go to Kentucky Derby
Learn Spanish
Speak to a large crowd together → turn into a goal
Make a 6 figure gift
House an international student
- "Have an open-mind. Be excited for your partner's dreams. Push them. It's okay to question them a little bit, but don't tear them down right away."

Ashley is motivated by Will Smith's recent YouTube video, because he preaches the importance of how you should do things that scare you so that you'll grow

"If you can be disciplined and write down everything you truly want to do and discuss it with your partner, it leads to a lot of "ah-hah" moments."

"It's not about whether you need more of in life, because you should be happy with who you are and where you are. This is about whether or not you want something more and if you want more then you really are searching for growth."

EP 38: Change of Plans Apr 01, 2019

Show notes

We put together our best plan ever for 2019. We got off to a great start crossing off action items for our most important goals. We were holding each other accountable. We were communicating. We were collaborating. We knew for sure 2019 was our year. And then our plans changed. In this episode, we share what happened to change our plans for 2019. This is a must listen episode!

EP 37: We Re-Do Goal Setting Mar 25, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, we do a re-do of one of our most popular episodes. Goal Setting! We share why we set goals and how. We believe setting goals together ensures that we are always growing together rather than apart. Billy has a long history with goal setting. Ashley drank the kool-aid and together we consider setting and achieving goals one of our greatest and most important collabs.

Download a free goal setting lesson for partners at BashleyMoyer.com/goals.

Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

Billy went through his first goal setting program when he was just four-years-old
- He has continued learning about goal setting and teaching others about the subject ever since
- Paul J. Meyer, the founder of the personal development industry said, "If you are not making the progress you would like to make and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined."
- Goals bring out the best in us.
Ashley shares the story of Billy asking her about her goals and sharing his goals when they first met
- Some companions from Billy's past were turned off by this, but Ashley was intrigued and of course stuck around to learn more
- Ashley shares more about her own personal thoughts on goal setting and how they have changed with Billy
Ashley is go with the flow, Billy is the planner
- But we both enjoy setting goals.
The goal setting process begins with a Dream List
- This is how we got started goal setting together and they continue adding to their list every year.
- A Dream List is exactly what it sounds like. Some call it a bucket list. This is simply all the things you want to do in your life together.

Next comes creating a short list of goals - no more than 10
- We do this every year as well.
- We start by setting individual goals and then coming together for a date night to share the goals and work on our combined list.
- Through this process especially, it is important that we fully support one another.
- - There are no stupid goals. This should be a real discussion.
  - What do we really want to accomplish together over the next year? What are the benefits of the goal? What obstacles stand in our way? What steps need to be taken to achieve it?
Set challenging goals together that are realistic
- There are no unrealistic goals just some really bad target dates.
- Goal setting is supposed to be uncomfortable.
Goal setting begins with an awareness of where you are right now and a desire to change your future together
Goals are a prelude to action, they are a course to take; they are an expression of your strengths; they are an exercise of your desire for becoming better together
Growing together is a choice all partners must make
- Growing apart is an excuse.

EP 36: Self Care, Together Care Mar 18, 2019

Show notes

Mental-health day or self-care? We millennials love to develop our own phrases for everything. Either way you call it, it is something we practice regularly. In this episode, we discuss what self care is and what it isn't, what we do separately to practice self-care, and what we do together to practice what we call "together care." Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

What self care is/isn't
- It is not just doing something for yourself
- It's an activity that puts you in a better mind place, zen out,
Self-care solo
- What Ashley does
- - Blowouts
  - Journaling
- What Billy does
- - Reading
Self care together
- Travel/trips
- Spas
- Walks/workouts
- Conversations, listening to each other
- Listening to Audible together
Couples who self care together stay together
- Did we just coin Together-Care?

EP 35: Rejecting Gender Norms Mar 11, 2019

Show notes

We just celebrated International Women's Day, so we're approaching everyone's favorite topic… gender norms. Before we met, there's so many norms we fought. But once we got married, we took this to another level. We love identifying as a modern couple, but we are not perfect. In this episode, we share our opinions on gender norms, identify the norms we fight, and the ones we fall right in to. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode

Our perspective on Gender Norms
- Awareness is key
How we fight some gender norms
- Ashley choose to hyphen her last name after marriage, and now Billy wishes he would have done the same
- We hold each other's careers with equal importance, Ashley even held the title if "breadwinner" for several years
- Billy likes "girly" things - Musicals, Chick flicks, spas/pampering,
- Ashley likes sports!
How we play into other norms
- Through our enneagram episode, we learned our personalities play right into the stereotypical roles of "mom & dad"
- Chores - She does dishes, he takes out the trash

EP 34: Becoming Mar 04, 2019

Show notes

They are the ultimate #relationshipgoals (even if they hate the title)... Michelle and Barack Obama. We are feeling very inspired after seeing Michelle on her Becoming book tour. In this episode, we provide a recap on her book tour, why we find this couple so inspiring, and how we are BECOMING better together using them as an example. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode:

There are a lot of couples we look up to - Our parents first and foremost. We have interviewed them before. They have 82 years of marriage between them!
Famous Duos - We have talked about three famous power couples before - Chip and Joanna Gaines, Julie and Zach Ertz and Beyonce and Jay Z.
#RelationshipGoals - Michelle and Barack Obama
Becoming Book Tour comes to Austin
- We recap the event
Perception of Austin from Rachel Ray and Michelle
Michelle talked about the pressure of #RelationshipGoals and how they are no different from any other couple. They have worked hard on their relationship to get to where they are. It hasn't always been pretty and it has never been easy
- Remembering it comes it waves
- Couple to admire bc they are both hard workers, but know how to let loose
- Traditional roles since presidential run
How we are Becoming better together
Becoming requires overcoming

EP 33: Married and in Business Feb 25, 2019

Show notes

It is official, we have a newborn business! When we started this podcast, we had no plans that this collab would turn into a business centered on collaboration. In this episode, we discuss what inspired us to start a business together, give a short update on where we are in our business, and some of challenges with starting a business with your spouse. Music "Sunny" by Bensound.com.

What We Talked About in this Episode

Why we decided to start a business together when we had already done so much work together
Our business is a consulting agency centered around collaboration
- Bashley Collaborative is officially an LLC
- We have a handful of projects we are working on
- ...and we got our first rejection!
The fun parts about starting a business with your spouse
The challenges when starting a business with your spouse

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