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    Health

    Good Girls Talk About Sex

    Good Girls Talk About Sex features the kinds of conversations you usually only have with your best girlfriend late at night over a bottle of wine. Sex and Intimacy Coach Leah Carey talks with women — including all people who were raised as little girls plus transgender women — about the realities of being a sexual person in today’s world.

    The conversations are warm, welcoming, and non-judgmental, featuring people of all sizes, shapes, ages, races, orientations, relationship structures, and more.

    Sometimes you’ll hear your own experiences reflected back to you and realize you’re not alone. Other times, you’ll hear stories very different from your own that broaden your ideas about what is “normal” and introduce you to exciting new possibilities.

    Conversations may be explicit, but are never salacious or exploitative.

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    Latest Episodes:
    I got turned on by Clan of the Cave Bear - Leah speaks Apr 09, 2020
    Show notes

    Good Girls Talk About Sex is now a weekly show! Every other week you'll get these shorter solo episodes where I tell bits of my story and answer YOUR questions about sex and sexuality.

    Thanks to Jessi Kneeland for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails.

    Also, the Am I Normal? question: Is it normal to fantasize about my partner cheating on me?

    Resources mentioned:

    • www.literotica.com – stories about all sorts of sexual acts and fantasies

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I would be happy to never have sex again – Jillian Apr 02, 2020
    Show notes

    Jillian offers us a glimpse into a story that I am intimately familiar with. It's the story of having huge blank spots in your memory along with an aversion to sex. There's nothing specific to grab on to so you can say, "This is what happened," but it's obvious that something happened.

    I usually sit back and let the guests tell their story, but in this instance, Jillian is actively searching for answers and for healing. So in this episode, you'll hear us doing a bit of exploration and coaching. I offer her a couple of exercises. If her story mirrors your own, you may want to try these exercises as well. Or send me an email and I'll be happy to offer you some other resources.

    Jillian says in this interview that she wanted to share her story so that anyone else out there going through something similar will know that they're not alone. And I echo that. If you listen to this podcast because you have difficulty with sex and are looking for a way forward, you are not alone. You are welcome here. And I will be happy to talk with you whenever you are ready.

    Jillian is a 49-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous and married.

    • Jillian is unable to remember her first experience of sexual pleasure and still doesn't feel pleasure.
    • When a boy in kindergarten touched her
    • Jillian has memory gaps, though she has narrowed it down to ages 5-8 where "something" happened that caused her fear of and aversion to sexual touch
    • She starts therapy at the request of her husband after an intense outburst of seemingly displaced trauma response.
    • She tries hypnosis to access memory. She also asks her mother for information about her childhood and is shut down.
    • She meets her future husband to whom she is attracted and despite/because of fear/aversion moves very quickly into sex.
    • Leah talks about impact of being sexualized at a young age, affecting one's ability to determine readiness and how it should fit into a relationship.
    • She talks about the emotional energy it takes to not only fake enjoying sex, but to fake feeling happy or content.
    • Her husband intuits she's acting like everything is ok when it's not.
    • Where her mind goes during sex—fantasy, and sometimes about not being treated well. Or just being anxious to get the sex act over with while thinking she owes him pleasure, doing it for his sake. (**Follow up of how BDSM and ravishment play can be therapeutic.)
    • Pregnancy and childbirth bring up new fears and aversions, particularly around breastfeeding.
    • She finds faith and prayer to be a better and more effective tack at present than therapy for resolving trauma and pain.
    • She still does not enjoy sex but can participate without revulsion about once a month.
    • Leah talks about how to focus on intimate touch that is enjoyable but without genital touch and penetration.
    • She's just now trying masturbation and self-exploration to see if she can experience pleasure, using an external vibrator.
    • Leah coaches how to bring the vibrator into the partnered sexual experience.

    Resources mentioned:

    • My favorite internal/external vibrator - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MRYF9TD/
    • Slim/beginner vibrator (please note – I have not used this particular vibrator, so this is not a recommendation, but rather an example) - https://www.amazon.com/SlimCharger-Rechargeable-Slender-Moving-Bullet
    • My favorite lube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_Ok69EI-ks

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • Jillian's abortion and subsequent breakup with her first boyfriend
    • The extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I used to hide my body, now I'm a fat lingerie model - Voluptuous Leah Mar 19, 2020
    Show notes

    Voluptuous Leah is a plus-size model and Instagram influencer. At the time this episode is released, she has over 166,000 followers and she regularly posts photos of herself, her adorable dog Luna, cute plus-size fashion, and plus-size lingerie. You can find her on Instagram at Voluptuous Leah and her website at www.VoluptuousLeah.com

    She is a 31-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, plus-size, and in a new relationship while going through a divorce from her previous husband.

    The major theme in this episode is sex as a plus-sized women.

    • Leah's first memory of sexual pleasure
    • How she broke her ankle because she was looking at a boy that she had a crush with
    • Her relationship with her ex-husband and how he fetishized her larger body
    • Her new relationship and how he interacts with her and her body

    Resources mentioned in this episode:

    • Curvy Girl Sex book
    • SheBop for sex toys - coupon code HUNKERDOWN (15% off online orders through at least March 31, 2020
    • Sunny Megatron's live stream about how to connect with partners and do sexy things when you're self-isolating due to the virus - bit.ly/sunnygetvokl

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I'm a church mom AND a swinger - Brianna, pt 2 Mar 06, 2020
    Show notes

    Part 2 of our conversation with Brianna! Today she details her recent entrance into the swinger lifestyle with her husband. She spares no details about how they discovered their mutual interest in swinging, their early conversations, and their first experiences. She talks about the state of their relationship and how swinging has affected it, her feelings about monogamy, jealousy, and so much more. If you've ever wondered about swinging – DON'T MISS THIS CONVERSATION!

    Brianna is a 30-year-old cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, married, monogamish, Baptist, and exploring swinging for the first time. She and her husband have two young children.

    Major themes in this episode include exploring swinging.

    • Opening lines of communication with her husband, revealing fantasies
    • Arriving at the Desire resort
    • Body insecurity after childbearing
    • Experiencing role reversal with wild husband being shy, her being wild when free of rules
    • Meeting swingers and becoming open to the idea
    • Going to their first swingers club at home
    • Meeting the first couple they felt compatible with
    • Starting a 4-way chat between the couples
    • A "soft swap" between the spouses for oral play
    • Continued conversation about safety and consent
    • Where they are in terms of doing a full swap
    • The lack of male/male interaction in swinging
    • The issues that have come up around trust and feeling like she's not enough
    • Her emotional processing after encounters
    • The moments that spark jealousy aren't the sexual ones
    • Discussing emotional monogamy
    • Maintaining marital sex life after children
    • Reconciling swinger sexual activity with church community/mindset

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • The extended Lowdown Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I'm a church mom AND a swinger - Brianna, pt 1 Mar 05, 2020
    Show notes

    Brianna grew up in the Baptist church where she learned that sex was sinful. Today, Brianna talks about her childhood sexual explorations with other little girls, her unfortunate first relationship with a boy, and the beginning of her relationship with her husband, including their recent introduction into the world of swinging.

    Brianna is a 30-year-old cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, married, monogamish, Baptist, and exploring swinging for the first time. She and her husband have two young children.

    Major themes in this episode include growing up Baptist, learning about consent, discovering bisexuality, and exploring swinging.

    • Her first memory of sexual desire in first grade while playing "house" with a friend
    • Identifying as heterosexual but kissing girls in high school
    • Her first sexual experience with a boy in middle school, including heavy petting and attempting to give oral
    • Talking with her mom about sexual activity
    • Watching her father cheating on her mother, resulting in trust issues
    • The True Love Waits movement, which gave extreme messaging about abstinence—causing dissociation when she pursued activity anyway
    • Her high school boyfriend penetrated her without consent, but at the time she thought it might have been her fault
    • Believing it was her fault, she decided she must be a slut and experienced grief over the loss of her virginity
    • A discussion about consent, readiness, and choice
    • How she plans to talk to her kids about sex and consent
    • Using sex to get attention, playing the field
    • Meeting her husband-to-be and making him wait to physically engage
    • Childhood masturbation
    • The introduction of swinging into the marriage
    • Talking about what is allowable at the resort, opening up major communication about the relationship as a whole

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • The extended Lowdown Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I used to have sex in mall hallways - Timari Feb 20, 2020
    Show notes

    Timari is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, married and the mother of two children.

    She is a listener who contacted me to say that she'd like to talk about her history with abortion, because it hadn't been addressed much on the show yet. Along the way, we also talk about being raised in the Mormon church, being in an abusive marriage and cheating, and her sex life with her current husband.

    • Timari's first memory of being told not to touch herself
    • What she considers the benefits of frequent masturbation, especially early in life
    • Her first experience with a penis
    • The impact of sex ed
    • Growing up in a Mormon home
    • Timari's "fuck buddy"
    • Feeling empowered by childbirth and sex after giving birth
    • Watching her sisters get involved in abusive relationships
    • Her decision to leave the LDS church over their stance on homosexuality
    • Timari's curiosity about polyamory
    • Healing from the emotional impact of her own extramarital activity
    • How her current relationship satisfies her emotionally and romantically
    • Her history with abortion

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • Timari talks about learning to be comfortable with her period thanks to a boy she dated when she was young
    • Timari talks about the abortion process and the aftermath in her first marriage
    • Extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    Breakdown update Feb 14, 2020
    Show notes

    In this short solo episode, Leah talks about what she has learned since spoke to you directly in January - what she affectionately thinks of as her "breakdown" episode. Also: Valentine's Day wishes and good news about the future of the "Good Girls Talk About Sex" podcast!

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I had to get drunk to have sex - Tenisha Feb 06, 2020
    Show notes

    Tenisha is a 29-year-old, cisgender woman who describes herself as black, heterosexual, monogamous, average body type, currently in a relationship, and Christian.

    A few months ago, Tenisha interviewed me for her podcast Choose Love. During that conversation, Tenisha mentioned that she was a practicing Christian who chose a period of intentional celibacy as an adult. So of course I wanted to interview her here!

    In this conversation she talks about her early conversations in internet chat rooms, needing alcohol in order to have sex, her choice to become celibate at age 23, and the relationship she's in now.

    • Tenisha's first memory of sexual experience – getting kissed by a boy on the bus and being embarrassed
    • Tenisha signed on to AOL chatrooms at age 8, pretending to be older
    • Her early "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" explorations
    • The convergence of masturbation and guilt as a result of her religious upbringing
    • Growing up in a home where Christian teachings are espoused, yet with parents who were lying and cheating
    • Tenisha talks about witnessing domestic violence as a child
    • The lack of sex ed at school and discovering porn online
    • Tenisha's traumatic first sexual experience
    • Her history of having to get drunk in order to have sex
    • Embracing Christianity, getting baptized and deciding to become celibate
    • Realizing she's ready for love again, meeting current boyfriend
    • Tenisha's decision to end celibacy within her current relationship
    • Finally experiencing orgasm and sexual pleasure, while still having to deal with old trauma and issues around sex

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • Tenisha talks about her relationship with alcohol and what sex was like when she quit
    • Tenisha talks about the relationship she ended after her mom's death
    • Extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I bought my first vibrator with babysitting money - Jazz Jan 23, 2020
    Show notes

    Jazz is a 31-year-old gender non-conforming, femme-identified person who uses the pronouns "they" and "theirs". They describe themselves as black, polyamorous, and pansexual with an active dating life.

    The major theme of this episode is gender. Jazz talks about how genitals are not the be-all-end-all of gender. If all of the recent talk about gender as a spectrum has you confused or uncomfortable, this is the episode to listen to!

    • Jazz's "attacks of pleasure" in elementary school
    • Their first time masturbating at age 14
    • How training as a performer left them disembodied and dissociated
    • The emergence of Jazz's gender non-conforming identity
    • What non-binary means
    • Jazz's first boyfriend, including a lack of negotiation and advocacy for themselves
    • Discovering vibrators and toys
    • Discovering attraction to multiple kinds of bodies and kissing a girl for the first time
    • Jazz's defines what "solo-poly" means to them
    • What is a comet partner?
    • Trying out triad relationships
    • How Jazz's body shape has impacted their experience of sex—not being able to be fully themself because partners have identified them as female
    • Being affirmed in a recent relationship and embracing their chin hair
    • The joys of group sex

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • Jazz talks about their journey to discovering non-monogamy
    • The extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    Leah's breakdown Jan 09, 2020
    Show notes

    In this special episode, Leah talks about her recent slide into anxiety and depression.

    The "too long, didn't listen" version is: the podcast will continue on a regular schedule, but I'm taking a step back from everything else to give myself some time to reset and refocus. Also, listener emails mean the world to me, so if you want to send something please do: leah@goodgirlstalkaboutsex.com.

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


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