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    Health

    Good Girls Talk About Sex

    Good Girls Talk About Sex features the kinds of conversations you usually only have with your best girlfriend late at night over a bottle of wine. Sex and Intimacy Coach Leah Carey talks with women — including all people who were raised as little girls plus transgender women — about the realities of being a sexual person in today’s world.

    The conversations are warm, welcoming, and non-judgmental, featuring people of all sizes, shapes, ages, races, orientations, relationship structures, and more.

    Sometimes you’ll hear your own experiences reflected back to you and realize you’re not alone. Other times, you’ll hear stories very different from your own that broaden your ideas about what is “normal” and introduce you to exciting new possibilities.

    Conversations may be explicit, but are never salacious or exploitative.

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    Latest Episodes:
    I had to learn to feel sexy while breastfeeding - Diana Aug 01, 2019
    Show notes

    Diana is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, married and monogamous.

    Diana had a traumatic birth with her older son, which led to a disconnection from her body and her pleasure. She was able to have a vaginal birth with her younger child, which helped reconnect her with her body and sexuality.

    Major themes in this episode include sexuality after trauma from childbirth and reclaiming your body after motherhood.

    • Diana's first sexual experience
    • Masturbation as an important component of self care
    • Diana's belief that everybody masturbates and how she's handling it with her young sons
    • Diana's experience with consent in a long-term relationship
    • The messages she heard about sex growing up in a conservative Christian home
    • Diana's relationship with her body and the impact of the male gaze
    • Figuring out her body and how it works after each pregnancy
    • Reclaiming bodily autonomy away from the needs of small children
    • PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex after childbirth
    • How birth trauma affected Diana's experience of her body and sex
    • How her second birth helped heal Diana's trauma from the first birth
    • The pain of a previous divorce leading to extra care in her current relationship

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • Diana talks about the work that she does to support other mothers who have been through traumatic birth experiences to heal.
    • The extended Q&A.

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I used to need orgasm, now I want connection - Davina Jul 25, 2019
    Show notes

    Davina Bookbinder is a 33-year-old, transgender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, queer, polyamorous and actively dating.

    Major themes in this episode include being transgender, discovering and navigating gender identity, and sex as a trans woman.

    Davina is a good friend and she and I have had long conversations about gender in general and her gender in particular. It is because she and I have developed a foundation of trust that I'm able to ask questions that we wouldn't normally ask. PLEASE KNOW that many of the questions I ask in this interview are NOT questions that are appropriate to ask a trans person in regular conversation. But that's true of all the conversations on this show, right?!? I ask deeply personal questions that you would never think to ask someone at a dinner party. The problem for trans people is that there is such curiosity around their bodies and their genitals that people end up believing they're allowed to ask those questions at the dinner party.

    So consider this your opportunity to listen in on the questions you WISH you could ask - yes, we talk about having sex as a trans person and how it works. Yes, we talk about the current state of her genitals and how she likes them to be interacted with. And yes, we talk about the intersection of mental health and being transgender.

    Many, many thanks to Davina for showing up and being willing to have this conversation. I love you, girl!

    You can find Davina at www.therebelliousjewess.com and on Instagram at @therebelliousjewess. Davina is also the Programming Director for Sex Positive Portland.

    • Davina's early sexual experiences with both genders
    • The difference she felt between physical pleasure with boys, emotional connection with girls
    • Davina's early experience with porn
    • How gender norms impacted Davina's recognition of being trans
    • Davina's feelings about being in male settings
    • The nail polish blow up
    • Discovering her gender identity and getting divorced
    • Diving into therapy around gender identity
    • Gender and the brain
    • Davina talks about having top surgery
    • Waiting for bottom surgery
    • Her body in gender transition and how it has affected her sexuality and orgasm
    • Terminology for genitalia in transition, function, sexual pleasure
    • Going through multiple puberties
    • The positive impact of transition in every area of Davina's life

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • Davina talks about dysphoria and about the intersection of the transgender community and mental health issues
    • Davina talks about gender norms and her desire for things that are considered feminine when she was a child
    • Davina discusses the ins and outs of gender confirmation surgery (also known as top and bottom surgery)
    • The extended Q&A!

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I think my belly's too big to be attractive – Jane Jul 18, 2019
    Show notes

    Jane is a 36-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heteroflexible, monogamous and with a partner of three years.

    Jane went to Catholic School while she was growing up in Scotland and in her family she learned that certain topics should never be discussed – including sex.

    Major themes in this episode include difficulty in communicating about sex, body image and sex, and exploring BDSM.

    • The meager sex ed classes Jane received in Catholic school
    • How Jane found access to contraception
    • Jane's relationship to her body and how it has changed over time
    • Jane's personal "Dementors" and how they impact every aspect of her life
    • Jane's struggles with communicating with partners about body image issues
    • Difficulty communicating about sex and her desires
    • Jane and her partner's explorations into kinkier sex and BDSM
    • Navigating communication around BDSM activities, including Leah's Yes / No / Maybe checklist that's available for download at www.leahcarey.com/checklist

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • Jane talks about feeling undereducated when she began experimenting with BDSM and how her relationship with BDSM activities changed as her feelings for her partner grew and deepened.
    • The extended Q&A

    Resources:

    • Get the FREE Yes / No / Maybe checklist at: www.leahcarey.com/checklist

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I didn't know I liked pain until I tried it – Betsy Jul 11, 2019
    Show notes

    Betsy is a 38-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous and in a relationship.

    Betsy had sex for the first time at age 27, and after a brief period of one-night-stands, married a man whose sexual desires were significantly different than hers. She says her naturally high libido was "beat right out of me." Today, divorced and reclaiming her sexuality, Betsy is with a new partner and exploring her long-suppressed interest in BDSM.

    Last year Betsy came to me to do sexual communication coaching. She tells some of that story in this episode.

    Major themes in this episode include exploring new sexual realms (with support from a coach), navigating a changing relationship with her body, and BDSM.

    • How Betsy started to feel better in her body by doing a sexy dance workout
    • Her relief at losing her virginity at age 27
    • Betsy joins the bar scene and has sex with lots of different men
    • Settled into marriage, Betsy and her husband had mismatched libidos
    • Betsy's dawning desire for BDSM activities
    • Betsy met her current partner and experienced immediate trust and opening of communication
    • The yes/no/maybe list (download at leahcarey.com/checklist)
    • The dynamics of a BDSM play sessions, including sub-space and post-mortem talk sessions
    • Betsy shares some of the specific activities she and her partner do during play sessions
    • Anal play, learning to use pain for pleasure, role playing and restraints
    • The role trust plays in her current relationship and how it affects all aspects of Betsy's life

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • Betsy talks more about her BDSM relationship with her partner, including specific activities they enjoy and how important trust is in their relationship.
    • Extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I learned my body would cause men to sin – Shelly Jul 03, 2019
    Show notes

    Shelly is a 44-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, lesbian, living with her girlfriend and monogamous. She grew up in the Mormon church, got married and had seven children as she was expected to do. Then several years ago she started questioning her faith and left the church. She then realized that she's also a lesbian, which is an extreme no-no in the Mormon church.

    Major themes in this episode include the interplay of Mormonism and lesbianism, and recovering from guilt and shame from rejecting childhood teachings.

    • As a teenager, having to "confess" all sexual activity and thoughts to an older male bishop
    • How consent is impacted when alcohol is involved
    • Shelly's earliest experience of same-sex attraction
    • Opening to curiosity around lesbianism while letting go of the disgust she had been taught
    • The difference in intimacy shared between women and men
    • Shelly's first gay experience
    • How Shelly talks to her seven children about sex now that they are out of the Mormon church

    The audio extras for this episode:

    • The full Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I get turned on looking at my body in the mirror - Laina Jun 27, 2019
    Show notes

    Laina is a 33-year-old cis-gender woman who describes herself as Chinese, heterosexual, married, and monogamous.

    Laina has one child and struggles with body image. She believes that nobody would want to have sex with her, and that her husband only does it because she's his only option.

    Major themes in this episode include body image, libido, and changes in sexuality after giving birth.

    • The objectification of Asian women in culture and media
    • Connecting pleasure to sex and sexuality
    • How media conditions us to find women attractive and a sexual turn-on
    • It's okay to have varying levels of sex drive, even to the point of demi-sexuality
    • Laina's husband told her he wishes they had more sex
    • Different types of turn-ons, like feeling warm and safe during cuddling
    • How Laina's body image impacts her sex life
    • How Laina's relationship to her body has changed since giving birth

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • Laina discusses her sex drive and how the book 50 Shades of Gray opened her eyes to the idea of female pleasure.
    • The extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I thought women wouldn't find me "gay enough" - Jessi Jun 20, 2019
    Show notes

    Jessi Kneeland is a 32-year old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, bisexual, single, and monogamish.

    Jessi gets up-close and VERY personal about her recent explorations into sex with women. This is Jessi's second appearance on the show and she is the body image coach who has supported me through my own sexual exploration over the past few years. You can find her online at www.JessiKneeland.com and on Instagram @JessiKneeland.

    You can find her writing on queer sex HERE.

    You can find my season 1 conversation with Jessi HERE.

    The major theme of this episode is Jessi's detailing her first serious explorations into queer sex and partnering with women.

    • Realizing that not everyone is attracted to all types of people and bodies
    • What does hetero-romantic mean?
    • How she dresses and presents herself determines the people who are attracted to her
    • How people socialized as female communicate and respond differently than people socialized as male
    • Why it can be challenging as a female to "hit on" other females, especially given the work that Jessi does
    • Jessi's hot night with a beautiful woman in Portugal

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • A detailed conversation about how Jessi discovered her g-spot, learned how to stimulate it, and has now learned about squirting. This is a not-to-be-missed conversation, which is why I am making it available for EVERY patron.
    • Jessi and I talk about how people respond when we call ourselves bisexual, how we signal gender and sexuality through our appearance, and also dive into the ever-thorny question of … how do you define sex?
    • The extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I married a man who doesn't understand consent - Inez Jun 13, 2019
    Show notes

    Inez is a 32-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, married with children, and monogamous. She lives with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

    Inez is dealing with chronic illness and is in a currently sexless marriage.

    Topics covered in this interview include: recovering personal pleasure after abuse/trauma, body image, chronic illness and its impact on sexual activity, and how a partner's mental health diagnosis impacts the relationship.

    • How it felt as an adult to tell her father about childhood sexual abuse
    • The culture difference around sex between the Midwest of the United States vs. the west coast
    • Discovering she was pregnant while on drugs
    • How weight fluctuations affect her experience of sexuality
    • How a partner having short stamina can be desirable for a survivor of sexual abuse
    • How her partner violated consent and led to her feeling unsafe and cutting off sexual contact

    Audio extras for this episode are:

    • Inez talks about the difficult relationship she had with her mother and stepfather and the effect that has on how she parents her own children.
    • Extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I gave blow jobs so I wouldn't have to have sex – Danielle Jun 06, 2019
    Show notes

    Danielle is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, heteroflexible, married and monogamous.

    Danielle and her husband Adam host the podcast Marriage and Martinis, where they explore every hilarious, heartfelt, shocking, embarrassing, and completely inappropriate facet of marriage and parenting.

    Major themes in this episode include how OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) affected Danielle's early experience of sex, how we allow our assumptions of what other people think affect our actions and decisions, and how sex changes after marriage and kids.

    • Making out with boys in 7th grade for a sense of belonging rather than pleasure
    • Danielle's experience with a type of OCD called scrupulosity
    • The cultural pressure to lose our virginity
    • The mismatch between Danielle's body image and how her body actually looked
    • Does the number of partners we have equal the amount of sexual "experience" we have?
    • How Danielle's sexual relationship with her husband changed after having kids
    • A sexual experience Danielle would love to have, but doesn't think her relationship could handle it

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • An extended conversation about body image and how it affects her relationship with her husband
    • The extended Q&A

    Resources mentioned in this episode:

    • The Tenga Egg – a GREAT toy to use on a partner with a penis!

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I thought being strong meant never being vulnerable - Shana May 30, 2019
    Show notes

    Shana is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as biracial (half black/half white), heterosexual, monogamous and currently in a relationship.

    Major themes explored in this episode include healing from old hurts, learning about consent, and discovering our own pleasure, rather than just focusing on pleasing our partner.

    • How she came to relate running late to eroticism
    • Her first sexual experience, and how it conditioned her to not trust white men
    • The moment Shana first had intercourse and why it was so devastating … and why she pretended it was okay
    • Why Shana has never felt comfortable calling that experience rape
    • The expectation that women are supposed to please their partner and not ask for anything
    • The conversation she had with her current lover after their first time having sex
    • How tenderness and masculinity go hand-in-hand

    The audio extras for this episode are:

    • An extended conversation with Shana about how two men decided whether or not she had been raped, and how listening to other women tell their #MeToo stories has helped her
    • The extended Q&A

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


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