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    Health

    Good Girls Talk About Sex

    Good Girls Talk About Sex features the kinds of conversations you usually only have with your best girlfriend late at night over a bottle of wine. Sex and Intimacy Coach Leah Carey talks with women — including all people who were raised as little girls plus transgender women — about the realities of being a sexual person in today’s world.

    The conversations are warm, welcoming, and non-judgmental, featuring people of all sizes, shapes, ages, races, orientations, relationship structures, and more.

    Sometimes you’ll hear your own experiences reflected back to you and realize you’re not alone. Other times, you’ll hear stories very different from your own that broaden your ideas about what is “normal” and introduce you to exciting new possibilities.

    Conversations may be explicit, but are never salacious or exploitative.

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    • Spotify

    Latest Episodes:
    Season One finale - The Quick Five extravaganza Apr 04, 2019
    Show notes

    It's the season one finale of Good Girls Talk About Sex!

    In each interview I've done a rapid-fire Q&A and not all of those answers have been broadcast, so this episode is a compilation of those answers.

    At the end, I'll share my takeaways from season one of Good Girls Talk About Sex!

    • Approximately how many sex partners have you had?
    • What is your favorite sex position?
    • What is your favorite sex toy?
    • Do you have sex during your period?
    • Do you have hair down there or are you bare?
    • Do you have a single orgasm or are you multi-orgasmic?
    • What is your favorite masturbation fantasy?
    • Do you swallow or not?
    • How much noise do you make during sex?
    • Do you prefer penetration or external stimulation?
    • Do you prefer to be the giver or receiver of sexual pleasure?
    • My reflections

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I didn't know I was allowed to try BDSM - Amy Mar 28, 2019
    Show notes

    In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Amy, a 47-year-old cisgender white woman who describes herself as bisexual and married.

    I was interested in talking with Amy because she teased me with this bit of info: after being with her partner for almost 30 years, they discovered a previously undisclosed mutual interest in a new sexual adventure. How did they go for so long without discovering this shared interest? She tells us in this conversation.

    • The librarian whose support allowed her to dive into more adult material than other kids her age
    • How Amy handled getting her first period
    • The young man Amy chose for her first sexual experience
    • The boundaries that Amy and her husband set for their relationship when they were in college, and how that has developed over the 20+ years of their marriage
    • How Amy discovered her submissive side

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I didn't expect to love wearing a strap-on – Elizabeth Mar 21, 2019
    Show notes

    Elizabeth is a cisgender white woman in a monogamous heterosexual relationship who is approaching 40.

    She has an active sex life with her male partner, which includes pegging. While that is something that might be considered relatively common in some circles, for others it is out on the fringes of "normal" sexual activity. Elizabeth opens up about how they got into it, why she loves it, and why it's scary to admit to when living in a small, conservative town.

    • Her teenage "practice partner" who helped her learn about hand jobs, blow jobs and more
    • What her ex-husband said to her when she expressed sexual desires
    • Why she feels self-conscious during oral sex as a plus-size woman
    • Why anal sex is something she thinks can bring the genders together
    • Why wearing a strap-on penis doesn't make her feel any less like a cis-gendered woman

    In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

    • Online erotica – Literotica
    • The Feeldoe sex toy – Feeldoe
    • Online shopping – Amazon's sexual health and wellness section

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I got pregnant after 15 years on testosterone – Trystan Mar 14, 2019
    Show notes

    Trystan Reese is a transgender white man in a monogamous gay marriage who is 35 years old. In 2017, Trystan gave birth to a baby conceived with his husband Biff. Their story has been shared in People Magazine, CNN, Cosmo and more. You can find them online at BiffAndI.com.

    While Trystan has been living as a man for the past 15 years, he was raised and socialized as a female for his first 18 years. That gives him an intimate understanding of both sides of the gender spectrum – including insight into which aspects are biological or hormonal and which are societal.

    • The conversations gay men have BEFORE they start dating that other couples don't (but should!) have
    • An important thing we can learn from Trystan's strategy of revealing that he's trans
    • Why our relationship to our body is more important than the shape of our body when we're starting a new relationship
    • Should we be telling little girls that they're beautiful?
    • How Trystan's stay-at-home-dad partner manages his energy so he has enough left over for sex

    In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

    • Podcast - Dan Savage's SavageLove podcast
    • Book - Cory Silverberg's book "What Makes A Baby"
    • Book - Cory Silverberg's book "Sex Is A Funny Word"
    • Trystan's website: www.BiffandI.com

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I discovered orgasms under a bathtub faucet – Yaz Mar 07, 2019
    Show notes

    Yaz is a 30-year-old who describes herself as half-Persian/half-European, polyamorous, and single.

    I wanted to interview Yaz because I recently saw her describe herself this way: "My assets include diversity (I am genderqueer, pansexual, a person of color, fat, and make under $30,000/year), a playful attitude (I am really a kid in an adult body), and a know-how of holding space for those whose voices get lost in the shuffle."

    • Discovering the delights of the shower and bathtub faucet
    • Discovering porn and movie sex scenes
    • Yaz defines gender queer, pansexual, and gender non-conforming as she experiences them
    • How being fat has affected her experience of sexuality
    • Her first experience of penetrative sex … and what happened when she realized she wasn't ready
    • The STARS talk (as featured in Episode 8a)
    • Is it still non-consensual if we don't say "no?"
    • What Yaz looks for in a potential partner

    Mentioned in this episode:

    • Sex Positive Portland – Where Yaz and I met, that provides education on sex positive topics as well as organized events in the Portland, Oregon, area
    • Sex Positive World – The parent organization for Sex Positive Portland, with chapters around the world
    • The STARS talk - an easy to remember acronym that will help you begin conversations leading to great, consensual sex. We did an entire episode on it and you can listen here!

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I sell fantasy for a living – Kate Feb 28, 2019
    Show notes

    Kate is a cisgender white woman in a monogamous heterosexual marriage who is 37 years old. Kate is a stripper in Portland, Oregon.

    I met her one afternoon when I visited Sassy's with a friend of hers and she sat down to chat with us between sets.

    The first thing I noticed about Kate was that even though I had just seen her dancing naked on a pole, she was one of the most articulate and intelligent women I'd met in a long time. She forced me to come face-to-face with my own judgments about sex workers.

    • The conversation in Kate's childhood home about sexuality
    • Why being the "pursuer" in a romantic relationship felt empowering for Kate as a teenager
    • How Kate got into dancing
    • The different degrees of sex work
    • Why creating a fantasy is the larger part of sex work
    • The different sexual proclivities of men from different cultures

    In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

    • Strip club – Sassy's
    • Former strip club - The Lusty Lady

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    The STARS method Feb 21, 2019
    Show notes

    In this special bonus episode, Dr. Evelin Dacker explains the STARS method she created. It's an easy-to-remember acronym that will help you begin conversations leading to great, consensual sex.

    But I don't want you to just get the theory behind the conversation, I want you to hear it in practice! So I invited my friend Ray to join me for a sample STARS conversation that you'll get to hear about halfway through this episode.

    • What is sex positivity?
    • The lack of conversation about sex in the medical profession
    • An overview of what the letters in STARS stand for
    • Leah's experience with STARS

    Breaking down the STARS conversation:

    • STI Status
    • Turn Ons
    • Avoids
    • Relationship intentions
    • Safer sex practices

    A sample STARS conversation:

    • Introducing Ray
    • STI Status
    • Turn Ons and avoids
    • Relationship intentions
    • Safer sex practices

    You can find much more about the STARS method at www.maketimeforthetalk.com. You can find Dr. Evelin Dacker at www.EvelinDacker.com.

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I went numb so my marriage would work – Evelin Feb 21, 2019
    Show notes

    Dr. Evelin Dacker is a cisgender half-Mexican, half-Jewish polyamorous woman who is 53 years old.

    Evelin is a sex-positive physician in Eugene, Oregon and the CEO of Sex Positive Portland, an organization dedicated to understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality. She is also the creator of the STARS Talk, a format for talking about your sexuality and preferences so that we can ALL have more satisfying sexual encounters with both current and new partners.

    • Evelin's history with masturbation from the time she was a baby
    • Judy Blume's books as sex education
    • How the ability to self-pleasure replaced a desire for sex as a teenager
    • Learning compersion
    • Distinguishing between open relationships and cheating
    • The relationship Evelin defines as "primary"
    • Meeting her spouse on a beach in Thailand
    • What is NRE? (Hint: New Relationship Energy)
    • The effects of being married to an alcoholic
    • How the story of their meeting kept her marriage together
    • The terrible side effects Evelin experienced with birth control pills
    • The distinction between moving sexual energy and sensual energy while having sex
    • The answer Evelin knew but didn't want to know: she didn't feel safe
    • The discovery that saved Evelin's soul: Roller Derby
    • The re-emergence of Evelin's bisexuality
    • Sober vs. dry drunk
    • Getting turned on by seeing someone flirting with her spouse
    • Becoming anorgasmic and looking forward to menopause
    • Opening the relationship
    • Meeting a soulmate that supported Evelin through deep sexual healing
    • The end of her marriage and discovering polyamory
    • The evolution of the relationship with her spouse now that they are no longer married

    In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

    • Evelin's TEDx Talk - Seeing STARS: A stimulating safer sex talk
    • Evelin's website - www.EvelinDacker.com
    • Book – Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel
    • Movie – Henry and June
    • Television series – Portrait of a Marriage
    • Retailer and education center – She Bop is a women-owned sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I used to think bad sex was normal – Jessi Feb 14, 2019
    Show notes

    Jessi Kneeland is a 31-year-old cisgender woman who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and currently single.

    Jessi is a coach, speaker, writer, and altogether kickass person who is passionate about helping women to understand their bodies and their sexuality. She is the coach who has stood with me through my sexual exploration and reclaiming my body. You can find her online at www.JessiKneeland.com and on Instagram at @jessikneeland

    • The lesson Jessi learned at age 7 about what it meant to desire male attention
    • The lessons she learned about body image in her young life
    • How confusing it is for people who were assaulted as children and didn't understand that it was assault at the time, and how important it is to give accurate language to those experiences
    • The ways Jessi went about healing from childhood assault
    • How detrimental it is to compare our trauma with other people's trauma
    • Jessi's transition from feeling sexy to feeling sexual pleasure
    • Practicing "vagina kung fu"
    • When Jessi learned that what she thought was "great sex" … wasn't
    • The male body worker who helped Jessi recognize how her physical injuries were reflecting the emotional trauma she had been through
    • Jessi offers an easy anatomy lesson on the muscles of the vagina
    • The cultural narrative around women's role in sex
    • Jessi's recommendations for great reading

    In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

    • Book – Becoming Cliterate
    • Book – Come As You Are
    • Video – Jessi's TEDx Talk
    • Sex toy – The Womanizer

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


    I came out when my dad caught me kissing a girl – Jenna Feb 07, 2019
    Show notes

    Jenna is a 34-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, lesbian, monogamous, and engaged to be married.

    Jenna knew from an early age that she was attracted to women, and jokes that she "experimented with boys" when she was in her early 20s. The sex life she shares with her fiancée is helping Jenna to sort through and release some of the sexual trauma she experienced earlier in her life.

    • The first time Jenna realized she was attracted to breasts
    • How she felt when her father compared lesbianism to alcoholism and drug addiction
    • How women are required to remember every detail of an assault from years ago when most of us don't remember what we had for breakfast
    • The important place masturbation holds in Jenna's relationship with her partner
    • The positive connotation Jenna now has for the words "good girl"

    Mentioned in this episode: Jessi Kneeland - Jessi is a body image coach who is featured in the next episode (Episode 7).

    Update: Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

    • Book a FREE no-pressure intro consultation
    • Keep up to date and get your FREE Three-Minute Game
    • All my classes and downloads are at my store
    • Any audio extras for this episode on the Good Girls Talk About Sex website
    • Here's everything I'm up to today
    • I no longer use Patreon — you can now support my work on Substack

    EPISODE CREDITS:

    Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

    Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak


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