Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Latest Episodes:

You are Responsible TO Your Feelings, Not FOR Your Feelings | Episode 141 Jan 03, 2022

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I first heard the phrase, “You are responsible TO your feelings, not FOR your feelings,” from the book by Cheri Huber, There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate. While I didn’t understand what it meant until I went through recovery, I now appreciate this phrase a lot. That’s why episode 141 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how you are responsible TO your feelings, not FOR your feelings!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of the responsibility you have to feel the feelings you have and actionable steps you can take today to learn to just feel the feeling.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

The relationship I had prior to recovery with my feelings and how they stemmed from a phrase I heard in my childhood.
The benefit to crying openly in front of others is that it lessens the grief.
How, and when, to analyze where feelings are coming from.

So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

Check out the “Feelings, Not Fixing” bundle of curated content.

This bundle is for people who struggle with emotional discomfort—especially those who avoid their own feelings or feel responsible for fixing others'. If you've been told you're too sensitive, or you learned to disconnect from your emotions to survive, this bundle helps you come back to yourself. It’s especially powerful for people-pleasers, over-givers, and anyone raised in a family where emotions were minimized or punished.

Details here.

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Loving Someone Through Addiction with Jane Macky | Episode 140 Dec 27, 2021

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I met Jane Macky professionally through the Innovation to Impact project through Yale. When I heard her story I knew she had to be on the podcast. That’s why episode 140 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about loving someone through addiction!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, Jane and I are sharing the importance of learning how to communicate with your loved ones who are going through addiction and a deeper understanding of a little-known method called the CRAFT method.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

Jane’s personal story of loving someone through their addiction, and why she’s decided to dedicate her life to helping others love their partners through addiction.
What the CRAFT acronym is and why it’s important to understand the steps associated
CRAFT teaches family members how to identify their loved one's triggers, break patterns, develop communication, and more
The 7 Elements for Positive Communication that Jane mentioned from the CRAFT method

Jane truly believes as a society if we learn to not only identify but talk about addiction in a loving and understanding way, through the use of the CRAFT method and love, addiction as a whole would be more difficult to go unnoticed and unhelped. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

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Jane’s organization, which coaches people on how to love people through addiction, is called We The Village. You can access the online skills program at: https://courses.wethevillage.co/ and the free community here: https://wethevillage.co/. You can also follow along for daily encouragement on Instagram @wethevillage.co

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LINKS MENTIONED:

The book Jane mentioned by Dr. Robert Myers is called “Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading and Threatening*.” This book describes the CRAFT method (Community Reinforcement Approach to Family Training).

*This is an affiliate link. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

How You Can Go From Hating Hope to Loving Hope with One Simple Practice | Episode 139 Dec 20, 2021

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The most important thing that I want to give you through this podcast is hope. I want you to have hope because I know from personal experience what it’s like to be without hope. That’s why episode 139 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how you can go from hating hope to loving hope in one simple practice!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of loving hope and actionable steps you can take right now to love hope with this one simple practice.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

One time in my life when I have been completely hopeless and why I want you to have hope and understand the importance of having hope.
How I went from “hope sucks” to hope being my main mission and something I love, all through gratitude practice!
What hope does for you, and why I fully believe it’s important for each and every one of you to experience.
Some quick tips on how to start implementing gratitude into your life.

Allow my story, my recovery, and my stories to help provide you that hope. There is always hope. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

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LINKS:

Ep #8 Gratitude

https://higherpowercc.com/2020/11/05/fragmented-to-whole-podcast-11-gratitude/

Article

How Gratitude Journaling Can Give You a Better Life: Lessons learned from my 20 year practice

6 minute video “How to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude”

Toastmasters International - public speaking and leadership development organization

Setting Boundaries around Family - when they love hiking, and you hate it | Episode 138 Dec 13, 2021

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I wanted to share the message I got from a client that I believe that a lot of you will resonate with, and really how this message truly shows how to live your life on purpose. When we have healthy boundaries, we learn to trust ourselves and feel integral. When we are whole, we don’t need things from others and we can be closer to the people in your life. That’s why episode 138 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about Setting Boundaries around family!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of setting boundaries around family and actionable steps you can take right now to live your life on purpose.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

How this client demonstrated breaking a pattern and put herself first
Not only did she not do the thing she didn’t want to do, but she did allow herself to rest and alone time, and why this is so important
How setting boundaries didn’t put distance but rather gave her more availability to be present with her family
The power in saying “I need alone time”; especially around the holidays

Imagining the scenario if this client hadn’t set boundaries with her family, but instead did the hike and didn’t get alone time, and probably would have been resentful and not as pleasure or available for family dinner. Thank goodness she utilized the tips she learned through coaching with me, to set family boundaries gracefully. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

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Links mentioned:

#39 Wholeness, Integration & Integrity

Learn to Love Yourself: 16 things I Learned about Self-Love in Recovery, Part 2 | Episode 137 Dec 06, 2021

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Last week I shared the first 8 of 16 things I learned about self love through recovery. If you haven’t yet, I want to encourage you to go back and listen to that episode first. Episode 137 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the other 8 of 16 total self love lessons I learned through recovery!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of self love and the lessons I learned throughout my recovery process; part 2.

The other 8 ways I learned self-love through recovery include:

Asking for help and allowing others to love me; if you need help learning how to ask for help, I would love for you to check out this article: How to Start Asking for Help When You’ve Never Done It.
Being present; being aware and grounded in my body
Using gentle language with myself; if you’ve followed the podcast for any length of time, you know I swear a lot. However, after recovery I found that unintentionally I wasn’t swearing at myself when I screwed up any more.
Boundaries; setting healthy boundaries was something that became easier and easier the more I did it because I felt better about myself by standing up for myself each time I set boundaries.
Giving myself peace; for me, that means doing all the things on this list and more so that I feel peaceful.
Stopping the negative self-talk; recovery taught me that I had negative self-talk beliefs that were “the truth”. I discuss many ways I manage these beliefs and how I am teaching myself to believe differently.
Using Affirmations; you don’t have to believe them, you just have to say them and you will eventually come to believe them.If you need help with affirming ourselves, check out this episode: https://higherpowercc.com/2020/11/05/bonus-episode-2-affirmations-for-addicts/
Stopping myself from violating my own values, such as littering and lying.

What’s on your list? What have you done to love and grow yourself? So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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Learn to Love Yourself: 16 things I learned about Self-Love in Recovery, Part 1 | Episode 136 Nov 29, 2021

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If I had to boil down the 12 steps to recovery into one thing, I would say it all has to do with learning to love yourself. Now that I’ve grown to love myself, I can look back and see where I have put in that effort. That’s why episode 136 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the first 8 of 16 things I learned about self-love in recovery!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of self-love on the journey through recovery and actionable steps you can take right now to start the practice of loving yourself too.

The 8 ways I go over in this episode include:

Putting down the substance; the first step to loving yourself is to stop putting the poison in your body.
Stopping the self-criticism; I found when I stopped being so judgemental of myself, I also stopped being so judgemental of others too.
Reparenting and Inner Child Work; this process, which happened organically for me, helped me love and trust myself again.
Mirror Work; while I didn’t mean it at first, I truly mean it now when I look in the mirror and tell myself “I love you, Barb, just the way you are,”
Taking care of your physical body; I make an effort every single day to take care of this vessel that I walk around in each day.
Contacting my higher power; I do this multiple times a day consciously.
Walking away from crazy; I used to walk towards crazy because it was familiar, but now it’s not and I make an effort to walk away from it whenever I notice it.
Taking care of my physical environment; I make my bed every day so that there is no chaos in my sanctuary of a space.

This is part one, and only 8 of the 16 total things I learned from recovery about self-love. I don’t expect you to do all of these things, but I hope you found some to try and see what works best for you. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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LINKS:

Episode #6: Fear of Being Judged

"The Reason" by Hoobastank

“Second Chance” by Shinedown

Shazam Music Discovery

Go From Envy to Inspiration With One Simple Mind Shift | Episode 135 Nov 22, 2021

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The idea that we should envy someone rather than be inspired by them is based on the notion that we can’t have what they have because what is possible for them must not be possible for us. That’s why episode 135 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about going from envy to inspiration with one simple mind shift.

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of making the distinction between envy and jealousy and actionable steps you can take right now to shift your mindset to believe that what is possible for another person is indeed possible for you as well.

The simple mindset shift you need is to believe that you can. That’s it. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

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LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

The Structure of Scientific Revolutions by Thomas Kuhn

You Spot it, You Got It- Psychological Projection in 12 Step Recovery | Episode 134 Nov 15, 2021

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Oftentimes, the things that you notice or that bother you in others are a reflection of a trait, habit, or behavior that you have yourself and don’t particularly like. That’s why episode 134 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about psychological projection in 12-step recovery!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of recognizing when you are projecting onto others or when others are projecting onto you and giving these individuals the same compassion you would ask for if you were in the same ill position.

Just remember, when someone projects their psychological issues onto you, it is not about you. It is about them. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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I Got Over My Fears Because Courage is Contagious | Episode 133 Nov 08, 2021

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I always thought courage meant that you had no fear but rather, it’s the ability to take action in the face of fear. That’s why episode 133 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how I got over my fears because courage is contagious!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of being courageous to show yourself it is possible to do it again and actionable steps you can take right now to feed off of others’ courage to take courageous action for yourself.

I challenge you to think about that one thing you haven’t had the courage to do yet, and talk about it in your next meeting, and eventually once you’ve done that thing, share it with others so that they can take their own courageous action. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

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Here's How to Overcome Disappointment So That You Can Have Peace | Episode 132 Nov 01, 2021

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Peace is important to me and I have learned that I cannot have that peace if I don’t live in the present moment and accept what is actually happening rather than what I wanted to happen instead. That’s why episode 132 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about overcoming disappointment so that you can have peace!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of accepting what you cannot control and actionable steps you can take right now to overcome disappointment by finding the positives in every situation.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

The connection between acceptance and disappointment and how your higher power plays a part in this.
Having the faith that the things that are meant for you, will come to you.
Reframing a situation to think about the positives that may have come of it rather than the negatives.

The true way to overcome disappointment is to accept things as they are. So be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening!

If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Fragmented to Whole Episode 2: Acceptance