Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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Ep 5. Affirming Ourselves

Bonus ep between episodes 31 & 32. Bonus: Affirmations for Addicts

Online course: “6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb”

Promo code for “6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” is LaunchPromo100off

Good for $100 off through August 2, 2022 at 11:59 p.m. EDT

I’m More Than Just an Addict with Nicholas Cialdella | Episode 170 Jul 25, 2022

Show notes

Warning: This episode contains discussions of suicide, sexual assault and trauma, childhood abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, and depression.

There are a lot of stigmas around addiction that stop people from getting the help they need for recovery, or even talking about their experiences. Nick knows both sides; being an addict and going through recovery, as well as helping others no matter their financial situation get the help they need through Never Alone Recovery. Nick also knows what it means to help the family unit, not just the addict, when it comes to the recovery journey. This week’s episode 170 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the power of a united family recovery journey!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding the shame around addiction and actionable steps you can take right now to start to unearth the route cause of the emotions you feel before and during recovery.

Some of the talking points I go over with my guest Nick in this episode include:

How Nick’s childhood played a huge role in his journey through addiction and now through recovery.
How familial relationships and stigmas can impair a person’s journey to and through recovery.
Why it’s just as important to treat the person with addiction as the family unit, and how cancer cells are a good analogy for addiction in the family
What Never Alone Recovery is, how to get involved or get help, and why the non-profit was started in the first place.

There’s a lot of work in recovery, and it’s not just with the person who has addiction but also for the family involved in that person’s life too. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Never Alone Recovery website

LINKS:

NAR Facebook

NAR Instagram

info@neveralonerecovery.com

Text NAR: 844-364-4445

Top Apps to Keep You Happy Joyous and Free (Revisited) | Episode 169 Jul 18, 2022

Show notes

In 2020, I shared my top apps to keep you happy, joyous, and free. Recently, I was asked to share some more of the apps I frequently use to help keep my life and business organized while keeping things simple and fun. So, this week episode 169 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my top apps to keep you happy, joyous, and free!

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Here are the apps that I use most frequently:

Blinkist – allows you to listen to or read abridged versions of books
Calendly – a calendar scheduling app so you can manage your appointments more efficiently
Drink Water Reminder – a tracker for how much water you are drinking in a day (Apple App Store & Google Play)
Game apps I like to play – Wordscape, Solitaire, Card Games IO
Google Keep – a notes app to help track your thoughts or copy and paste written things you might need, i.e., Affirmations and links you use often
Built-into=the phone notes app
LastPass – password manager to help you keep your passwords secure
Telegram Messenger – voice memo and texting app to connect without a phone number
Trello – a project management tool to help you manage the projects, communications, and documents you might need to share with a team or client
Wunderground – weather app that gives you a greater level of detail than most of the other ones

Don’t forget that you can go back to episode 69 and episode 70 for more apps. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

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LINKS MENTIONED:

Ep 69 - Part 1

Ep 70 - Part 2

Why Consistency Is So Hard and How To Get Over The Hurdle | Episode 168 Jul 11, 2022

Show notes

I’ve been thinking a lot about consistency lately. One of the things I’m able to do now that I have been in recovery, and now that I have healthy boundaries, is I’m able to be consistent in my self-care, and I trust myself now. I was incapable of doing things consistently before recovery. This week’s episode 168 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about why consistency is so hard and how to get over the hurdle!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of consistency and actionable steps you can take right now to get over the hurdle of becoming consistent. If you are trying to accomplish a big task, like getting through to school or being healthy, consistency in small things, like homework and healthy meals, is far more important and more achievable than doing grand gestures. The beginning step is always harder, because it takes a lot of mental energy to get over the inertia of going from nothing to something, and this is why developing good habits is really important. They help you get past that inertia by developing momentum.

Consistency over time gives you momentum of the habit, and it *does* become easier over time. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

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Don't Go To The Hardware Store for Milk | Episode 167 Jul 04, 2022

Show notes

I was having lunch with a friend recently and she was really agonizing over whether or not she should leave her job. She’s torn because the circumstances she’s under aren’t great but she loves the work. In recovery we have a saying that applied to this situation: “Don’t go to the hardware store for milk.” That is, stop expecting someone or something to give you something they’re not capable of giving! This week’s episode 167 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about accepting things as they are.

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of accepting things as they are - like that the hardware store doesn’t sell milk; it sells hardware. So don’t go there expecting milk! I also talk about how to focus on one day at a time, and one situation at a time. I share actionable steps you can take right now to allow things to be as they are, and be present because the present is the moment of power.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Links Mentioned:

Ep. 18 One Day at a Time

Here's What it Looks Like... | Episode 166 Jun 27, 2022

Show notes

I heard someone ask the other day, “Are you spiritually fit, or are things just going your way?” and this past week things just didn’t go my way. This proved to me that I am far more spiritually fit than I used to be. I’ve learned to live life on life’s terms. This week’s episode 166 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about living life on life’s terms, instead of on Barb’s terms!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of letting shit go and actionable steps you can take right now to get spiritually fit through re-defining how you react to things when shit happens. I had a bad week. Things that may not be a big deal to you that were a big deal to me, happened. In this episode, I share my personal story from trying to see the new Top Gun Maverick movie, and why I am so proud of myself for how I handled the whole situation.

I didn’t know it was an option to be serene when shit happened before recovery. That was victim mentality. When we have the perspective of a victim, we see that things are just plain happening as happening TO us, instead of things just happening. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

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What Most People Don't Know About Physical Addiction vs Process Addiction | Episode 165 Jun 20, 2022

Show notes

I was listening to another recovery podcast the other day and this other person was talking about how they had no idea where to find resources. It occurred to me that it would be beneficial to discuss the 12 step recovery process for those of you who aren’t familiar with it so you can see if it’s right for you or not. I really didn’t “get” addiction until I was in my second recovery program. This week’s episode 165 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding the difference between a physical addiction and a process addiction!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding the two-fold nature of the addiction illness and actionable steps you can take right now to better understand if a 12 step recovery program is for you.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

What physical addiction is and is not, and examples of what this looks like.
What process addiction looks like, and the biggest differences between physical and process addictions.
The ways in which addiction is different from abusing a substance or process, and how it includes an allergic reaction to the substance.
Why people who are actively in their addiction avoid healthy people while dating, because they find them boring.

We find healthy calmness in recovery, and it can take time to get used to that peacefulness. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Links to recovery resources:

Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.aa.org/

Narcotics Anonymous: https://www.nar-anon.org/

Cocaine Anonymous: https://ca.org/

Al Anon: https://al-anon.org/

Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families: https://adultchildren.org/

Co-Dependents Anonymous: https://coda.org/

Overeaters Anonymous: https://oa.org/

Debtors Anonymous: https://debtorsanonymous.org/

Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous: https://slaafws.org/

We The Village: https://wethevillage.co/

Faces & Voices of Recovery: https://facesandvoicesofrecovery.org/

Why People Pleasing is Dishonest and Manipulative and How to Stop | Episode 164 Jun 13, 2022

Show notes

When I first got into recovery, I remember saying that I was confused on where the line was between being helpful and being rescuing. I was asked what my intentions were behind my actions, and that’s how I realized that I was doing things because I was anxious about how people perceived me. Turns out, I was doing it because I was hoping others would think good things about me, and not because I was necessarily trying to be helpful without it being about me. I didn’t want to look bad. This week’s episode 164 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about understanding your own motives to stop being manipulative and a people pleaser!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of stopping your people pleasing behaviors and actionable steps you can take right now to stop the manipulation.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

How I discovered the difference between being helpful and being rescuing, and where the line is between these kind, helpful motivations and the negative, toxic traits.
How people pleasing is really just manipulation and dishonesty, and how this looks through the lens of intentions.
The varying degrees of people pleasing, and how it can manifest in different ways in different people.
How people pleasing is a learned behavior, and how you can unlearn this to live a more honest life.

What’s clear is that people pleasing is a sure sign of codependency; you’re putting the weight of the world on what others think of you more than what you think of you. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

LINKS MENTIONED:

Ep 98. My two most important questions for guiding my behavior

Feelings Aren't Facts But They're Still Real and They Matter | Episode 163 Jun 06, 2022

Show notes

There’s a thing that people in recovery like to say, and it really used to piss me off. The saying is, “Feelings aren’t facts,”. While it may be true, I know my feelings are real, and I just didn’t get it when people said this. Usually it was in an accusatory manner, like, “How dare you have those feelings!” I now have a better handle on my feelings, both in recognition and understanding them. This week’s episode 163 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to validate and understand your feelings and create emotional sobriety!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of understanding your feelings and actionable steps you can take right now to validate your feelings without overreacting and letting emotions take the driver’s seat. A lot of the times our emotions and our reactions to those feelings are directly related to the things we’ve experienced in our past. In my case, that’s trauma. Without recognizing this in the present, you could have something trigger a fault-line in your soul that causes a different reaction than the situation actually warrants. This is not to say that your feelings don’t matter; they do and we should feel them. Where we get into trouble is when we mistakenly believe the emotion we’re feeling now actually relates to the current situation, and not from our past, and then act on that feeling. We instead need to focus on what we want, not what we don’t want.

We want to live our lives on purpose. This means identifying not what we don’t want, but what we DO want, in order to get to peace. Focusing on other people and what they’re doing is not going to get me peace. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Check out the “Feelings, Not Fixing” bundle of curated content.

This bundle is for people who struggle with emotional discomfort—especially those who avoid their own feelings or feel responsible for fixing others'. If you've been told you're too sensitive, or you learned to disconnect from your emotions to survive, this bundle helps you come back to yourself. It’s especially powerful for people-pleasers, over-givers, and anyone raised in a family where emotions were minimized or punished.

Details here.

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The Progressive Nature of My Illness | Episode 162 May 30, 2022

Show notes

One of the things that we’re told about recovery is that the disease is progressive; meaning, if left untreated, the disease gets worse and worse and worse. My experience is that this progressive nature is also true about codependency. I recently started thinking about how my life would be different if I was never in recovery, given how progressive things got with both my addiction and my codependence at the end there. This week’s episode 162 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the progressive nature of our illnesses!

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In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of reflecting on where you’d be if you didn’t get into recovery and actionable steps you can take right now to recognize the pressive nature when it rears it’s ugly head.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

What it felt like when I was codependent; feeling trapped and constantly needing more in order to feel loved, even when I wasn’t.
Inviting a homeless man to stay in my home, and how I put others on the backburner for codependent relationships such as that one
Why I hid an empty box of donuts, in my own home when I lived alone, and how that day was a great example of the progressive nature of the disease.
What my life would be like now, if I didn’t go down the road to recovery, and what I am so thankful that came from recovery.

Even if I wasn’t just generally grateful for recovery, which I am, I look for that gratitude every day. This is an emotional episode of my own journey through recovery and how I was before recovery. This shit is fucking real. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

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