Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Latest Episodes:

Methods for Reparenting Myself- What That Looks Like for Me | Episode 181 Oct 10, 2022

Show notes

The need for reparenting comes up when you grow up in a dysfunctional family where the parents weren't able to teach the children healthy tools and coping skills for how to manage life. This week’s episode 181 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about 5 methods for reparenting & what that looks like for me!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of doing inner child work to heal the parts of you that were left behind and actionable steps you can take right now to reparent yourself in a way that works for you, as simple or complex as necessary.

5 things I have done to reparent myself and what they’ve done for me

Took a photo of myself from my childhood and took time each morning to speak kind affirmations towards her.
Looked myself in the eyes through the mirror and said “I love you just the way you are Barb” even when I didn’t mean it, and I continue to do so
Created a character in my mind that represented an inner loving parent to myself.
Got in touch with my inner child by doing non-dominant handwriting communications.
Collected items from my childhood to comfort and soothe my inner child.

All of these practices work but the most important thing I do to reparent myself is to continue being good to myself, speaking kindly about myself, and showing up for myself.. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

“The Reason” by Hoobastank

“Second Chance” by Shinedown

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Free boundaries resources

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

Addiction and Survival Traits with Craig Radix | Episode 180 Oct 03, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

More often than not, addiction and survival traits come with this negative connotation but today’s guest wanted to bring a new perspective to the intelligence that comes with these survival tactics. This week’s episode 180 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about addiction and survival traits!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, my guest Craig Radix shares how his life experiences lead him to adapt for the better and how acknowledging his past has given him a new perspective on addiction and survival.

Some of the talking points covered in this episode include:

How growing up in the Bronx shaped Craig’s childhood in a much different way.
The roles Craig took on to adapt and survive in his environment.
Doing the inner child work to acknowledge and show gratitude for the moments that shaped him - no matter how positive or negative those experiences were.
How Craig was able to take his learned survival tactics and apply them to intentionally go after his goals in life.

Everyone has their own journey but sometimes it’s about your perspective on the journey that makes all the difference. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

CONNECT WITH CRAIG RADIX:

SoundCloud

Craig on Instagram

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Free boundaries resources

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

Freedom from the Lie of Shame- You're Not Inherently Flawed | Episode 179 Sep 26, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

Many of us in recovery use drugs or alcohol to temporarily avoid the feeling of shame, but the thing about addiction is it fuels the shame we feel about our behaviors and leads us into a dangerous cycle. That’s why it’s so important to deal with the underlying shame, put a stop to the cycle and avoid potential relapse. This week’s episode 179 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about freedom from the lie of shame- you’re not inherently flawed!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing my journey of understanding shame through recovery and actionable steps you can take right now to set boundaries and remove shame from your life.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

Sharing the acronym S.H.A.M.E. (Should Have Already Mastered Everything) that I learned in recovery that brought me so much clarity as to why I felt shame.
How I came to realize that this thing that was happening to me was shame and learning that it was something entirely separate from me.
Sharing instances in my life where I realized sooner or later that shame was the underlying feeling I had experienced all those years.
How recovery has helped me find freedom from shame and put an end to the cycle of passing on dysfunctional patterns.

I am not shame. I am a beloved child of God and so are you.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

Check out the “Feelings, Not Fixing” bundle of curated content.

This bundle is for people who struggle with emotional discomfort—especially those who avoid their own feelings or feel responsible for fixing others'. If you've been told you're too sensitive, or you learned to disconnect from your emotions to survive, this bundle helps you come back to yourself. It’s especially powerful for people-pleasers, over-givers, and anyone raised in a family where emotions were minimized or punished.

Details here.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep. 17. Guilt and Shame

Ep 83. FLAWESOME

Ep. 9. My Tools of Recovery Part II: Reaching Out

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28 (promo code mybetterboundaries22 for $150 off through 8/31/22)

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

How Fixed Versus Growth Mindset Affects People in Recovery | Episode 178 Sep 19, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

The difference between fixed mindset and growth mindset is that if you have a fixed mindset, it means you think you are the way you are and there's no possibility of changing. Your personality and abilities are fixed. But if you have a growth mindset, you believe that change is possible, you believe your intelligence can grow, and you believe you have the ability to change your long standing behaviors. This week’s episode 178 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how fixed versus growth mindset affects people in recovery!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing where the ideas of fixed versus growth mindset comes from, the research that backs this mindset shift, and how you can shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset to make changes in your own life.

A huge part of recovery is coming to understand that we have certain underlying beliefs or subconscious scripts about the nature of reality and about ourselves, other people, the world, and what kind of change is possible. Then we can work on learning that many of those beliefs and unconscious scripts are bullshit and were making our lives unmanageable. And finally, we go about the business of changing those beliefs to better oursevles.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

What Balance Really is and How to Get There and Stay There | Episode 177 Sep 12, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

One time I was coaching a client who expressed that every time she got close to finding balance, something would happen and it would throw her off. I replied that balance is not getting to a certain point or a certain set of behaviors and staying there; it’s not a static point but rather a constant adjustment. This week’s episode 177 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about what balance really is, how to get there, and how to stay there!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of looking at the bigger picture of your balanced life rather than focusing on the day to day balance and actionable steps you can take right now to make small pivots and adjustments to get and stay in balance.

Stop thinking that life balance is a static point that you’ll achieve and stay there. Real balance requires constant motion. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep 42. Why Take a Daily Inventory

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

What is the Dreaded Drama Triangle and How to Get Out of It | Episode 176 Sep 05, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

The drama triangle is a dysfunctional pattern of interaction that perpetuates dysfunction rather than changing it. This week’s episode 176 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the dreaded drama triangle and how to get out of it!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of recognizing when you're in a drama triangle and what role you’re playing in it, then actionable steps you can take right now to break the cycle and turn this into a positive outcome for everyone.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

The 3 roles that make up the drama triangle.
How each of the 3 roles play into one another to create a never ending cycle.
Sharing an example of this drama triangle that you may be able to resonate with.
Using the empowerment dynamic to get out of the drama triangle.

It is important to note that healthy people can engage in this too from time to time. Understanding the drama triangle and knowing how to escape it is beneficial for everyone to know and utilize. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep 44. Comfortable vs Comforting

Ep 3. Victim mentality

Ep. 172. Seven steps to coming out of victim mentality

Email me at Barb@HigherPowerCC.com for access to the handout mentioned in this episode.

The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) book by David Emerald

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

Dan Made Me Feel Like a Criminal When I Filmed Him Drunk | Episode 175 Aug 29, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

The thing with codependence is we feel this compulsion to get in between other people and the consequences of their behavior. When we do this, we become resentful of THEM and make THEM the entire problem when it is us who was enabling them all along. This week’s episode 175 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am sharing the story of the time Dan made me feel like a criminal when I filmed him drunk.

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a situation I was involved in at the height (or I guess you could say the bottom) of my codependence and my journey in learning that we cannot blame people for the actions that we are enabling them to continue.

No matter how much we love or care for someone, we cannot change other people and we especially cannot change other people who are addicts. The only thing more powerful than addiction is God but the person must seek God and welcome in God’s guidance. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep 140 Guest Jane M - Loving Someone through Addiction

Ep. 68 How to Stop Enabling Other People’s Dysfunctional Behavior

Ep. 73 Understanding Natural Consequences

Ep 10 Focus on Me

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28 (promo code mybetterboundaries22 for $150 off through 8/31/22)

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

The Golden Chunk of Time- Using Boundaries to Get Shit Done | Episode 174 Aug 22, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

When I coach my clients one of the metaphors I use with them is this idea that you can think about your precious resources of love, money, energy, and time as your “property.” I encourage them to put a boundary around that property, much like you’d put a fence around your house. This week’s episode 174 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the golden chunk of time - using boundaries to get shit done!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of protecting the limited time you have and actionable steps you can take right now to set boundaries around that time so that you can be purposeful and focused to get shit done.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

Healthy boundaries act as an energetic force field that protects your good energy and repels other’s negative energy.
The benefits of using the “golden chunk of time” to stay focused and boost productivity.
Techniques you can use to set boundaries around your own time.

I’ve proven over and over again that I can count on myself to follow through for myself because of the healthy boundaries I have put in place. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Ep. 168. Why Consistency Is So Hard and How to Get Over the Hurdle

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28 (promo code mybetterboundaries22 for $150 off through 8/31/22)

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

Daily Success Habits to Keep You Happy, Joyous and Free | Episode 173 Aug 15, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

I’ve had a number of people ask me what I do on a daily basis for my recovery. After being inspired by a business podcast where the woman talked about daily success habits for successful entrepreneurs, I thought I’d share my foundational daily habits as well. This week’s episode 173 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about my daily success habits that keep me happy, joyous and free!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of building a daily routine that keeps you grounded and aligned with your goals and actionable steps you can take right now to take inspiration from my daily practices and put together your own constellation of daily habits that work for you!

The 3 daily habits I practice every single say to keep me happy, joyous and free are:

Consistent, conscious contact with my higher power.
Moving my body regularly and in various ways throughout the day.
Practicing multiple things related to recovery to keep it as part of my routine

If you’re trying to figure out what habits work best for you, find someone who has what you want and ask them how she or he got it. I did this when I first got into recovery and truthfully, I still do. Both in recovery and life, if there is someone I admire, I want to find out exactly what they’re doing so I can do that too.

Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Boundaries Group Coaching program starts Sept. 28 (promo code mybetterboundaries22 for $150 off through 8/31/22)

“6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Barb” online course BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave

Seven Steps to Coming Out of Victim Mentality | Episode 172 Aug 08, 2022

Show notes

Send us Fan Mail

It can be very difficult to recognize when you are in a victim mentality, but it is the most important and the first step in getting out of this mentality. I had no idea I was in a victim mentality. I could identify others who were playing the victim, and yet I couldn’t identify it in myself. It wasn’t until I started doing the steps that I realized that I had this mentality. It didn’t mean I was weak, just that I had this mentality. This week’s episode 172 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the seven steps to coming out of victim mentality!

Support the show by becoming a Patreon member!

In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing the importance of identifying if you have a victim mentality and why you should get out of it, and actionable steps you can take right now to stop blaming other people for everything in your life and actively take control of your life.

Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:

The most important part, and step one, for coming out of victim mentality, is recognizing that you are in victim mentality.
It only takes one person to change a relationship; but if you believe that person is your partner, you may have victim mentality. Take the reins yourself.
The difference between proactive and reactive action, and how to get into a proactive approach.
Why you may not feel like you have a choice, but you do, and how to start getting comfortable making choices.

The seven steps are:

#1 realize you have victim mentality

#2 look at who you’re blaming

# 3 become proactive rather than reactive

#4 make decisions ahead of time

#5 reach out for help

#6 set boundaries

#7 discern where you’re making choices

Most people think boundaries are a reaction to other people’s actions, but it’s not actually the case. We can set healthy boundaries as a proactive way of determining who owns what, and we can act accordingly. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.

LINKS:

Ep. 3. Victim mentality

Ep. 8. Pausing

Ep. 9. Reaching Out

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

BetterBoundarieswithBarb.com

Membership Community, Secure, Loved & Brave