Show notes
How can you feel more empowered in your career? In this episode of Career Relaunch, Jay Kali, a former prison guard turned strength coach shares his thoughts on how adopting an empowered mindset and the relationship between hard work and luck. During the Mental Fuel® segment, I’ll explain why it’s important to take stock of how you’ve changed over time. Key Career Insights While your job may have suited you in the past, it doesn’t mean that same job will continue to suit the person you’ve evolved to become. The harder you work, the luckier you may get (building off a quote about the relationship between work and luck from film producer Samuel Goldwyn). You don’t necessarily have to change everything or make a drastic move to create the career and life you want. You could start small, doing something on the side, or testing the waters in a way that’s low-risk. Tweetables to Share Making progress starts by getting just 1% better in one area of your life. Jay Kali Tweet This What's on the other side of fear? Nothing. Jamie Foxx Tweet This Resources Mentioned We discussed the Japanese concept of the Kaizen Principle. Jay is also really passionate about the Catch A Lift Fund that enables post 9/11 combat wounded veterans all over the U.S. to recover and rehabilitate both physically and mentally through physical fitness, motivation and support. We referred to the Growth Mindset, something we touched on in Episode 41 with Victoria Crandall. Jay has also graciously offered his book Educate, Demonstrate, Motivate for free to Career Relaunch listeners. Listener Challenge During this episode’s Mental Fuel segment, I talked about the importance of recognizing how much you’ve changed over time to help inform the next steps in your career. My challenge to you is to think about the upcoming year (or 2 or 3) as a distinct chapter in you career. And if you were to name this chapter, what would it be called? What do you want it to be about? Is it about gaining more responsibility at work? Is it about achieving a certain level of visibility? Is it about something totally different outside of work? Like independence. Family. Fitness? Social life? Personal growth? Once you decide what you want to be about, take one action that focuses you on this priority. About Jay Kali, Strength Coach Jay Kali is a Strength Architect who doesn’t just build better bodies, he helps build strong, empowered women. He’s motivated by a desire to help others take charge of their lives and become physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger. His major career pivot came when he decided to leave his government job as a Federal Law Enforcement Officer, sell all his stuff, and move to a city and a country he’d never seen or lived before in his life. Did You Enjoy This Episode? Please Let Us Know! Tweet: If you enjoyed this episode and have a few seconds to spare, Tweet to let me and Jay know!Tweet a thank you! Review: I’d also love for you to leave a positive review and rating for the podcast on Apple Podcasts, which helps my show reach more people who want to relaunch their careers. Subscribe: Be sure to subscribe to Career Relaunch podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, or Android so you can automatically get each new episode on your device. Full instructions. Stay in touch: Follow Career Relaunch on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. You can also follow host Joseph on Twitter and Facebook. Comments, Suggestions, or Questions? If you have any lingering thoughts, questions, or topics you would like covered on future episodes, record a voicemail for me right here. I LOVE hearing from listeners!Leave Joseph a VoicemailYou can also leave a comment below. Thanks! Thanks to A2 Hosting for Supporting Career Relaunch A2 Hosting is the web host provider I use and trust for my own websites, and they even offer 100% carbon neutral green hosting. For an easy, fast, and affordable way to get your personal website online today, visit careerrelaunch.net/a2 to get 50% off your web hosting plan. Episode Interview Transcript Teaser (first ~15s): What else can I do in this world? Being a correctional officer, sitting in there, realizing, ‘This isn’t really in line with my views anymore. How can I be a part of something that I don’t even agree with?’ That was the big turning point for me also, just the intuition and just listening to myself. Joseph: Hello, Jay. Welcome to Career Relaunch. It is really exciting to have you on the show. Jay: What’s up, Joseph. I am pumped to be here. Thank for having me. Joseph: Great stuff. I appreciate your enthusiasm. You’re our first guest calling in from Mexico. I want to talk about how you ended up there, and I also want to talk about your time in the military and as a prison guard. I was wondering if you could start off by telling me about what you’re focused on right now in your career and life as a strength coach there in Cancun, Mexico. Jay: You know what, Joseph? I got to, first off, give you props because I’ve already heard other podcasts. You have people from Africa, U.K., and the U.S. You’re hitting everybody up from all over the world. Nice job. Joseph: We try to get a diversity of people in here. It’s something that I think is important for the show. Jay: That is awesome. A little bit about me real quick. I moved down here to Cancun a little bit over six years ago, and I actually opened up my own fitness facility, the first of its kind here in Cancun. I had that going for about three years. After three years, I actually sold and closed both of my gyms and moved my whole entire business 100% online. Now, I am a digital, I guess you can say your virtual strength coach, and I help women all over the world. Joseph: Cool. I want to come back and talk about that switch that you made going from what I’m going to call more of a traditional fitness coach to more of a virtual strength coach for women, but I want to go back in time, because you got a really, really interesting history, Jay. I know you haven’t always been a strength coach. I know there’s a lot to talk about there, but I want to go back and start by talking about your time in the military and why you chose to enlist in the army. Can you take us back to that time in your life and what led you down that road? Jay: To be honest, it was 2002. I was 17 years old when I actually joined. The reason I had joined, we had 9/11, that just happened the year before then. The patriotism was kind of running through, living in Missouri and stuff, so that kind of at line there. Also, I wanted to do something with myself. I wanted to take a step out. I knew that I wasn’t going to college, and the only way to really progress myself was go to the military instead of being stuck in a little town. Joseph: Was that decision to go to the military pretty clear for you? Did you know for sure you didn’t want to go to college? How are you so clear about that particular path? Because I know that’s a really big decision to enlist in the army. Jay: I never had the expectation, never going to college to be honest, Joseph. It was just never really in my—not where I grew up and live from. My whole idea and thought was, ‘You know what? The only way that I’m going to get out of this situation that I’m in is going to the military.’ Joseph: What was your time like in the military? Can you just give us a glimpse into your day-to-day life and your experience of being in the military? Jay: My normal every day was kind of different, because there is one point where I’d be deployed, and there is one time where you’re back in the States. Each time, it’s a little bit different. Whenever you’re back in the States, you kind of have more what they call garrison. You look good, you clean your vehicles, and you make sure you’re on top of your job. Whenever you’re deployed overseas, that’s a totally different game over there also. The only mission over there is just to get back alive. Joseph: This show is titled Career Relaunch, and we talk a lot about major career changes. One of the career changes I want to talk about, just moving forward from that point in your life, is how you went from being in the army to working in a prison. After that, we’re going to talk about your current life as a strength coach. How did you make that transition and how did that particular opportunity come up for you? Jay: Actually when I got out of the military—I don’t know what you call it. A buffer job, I guess—it’s kind of an interesting story, because I actually worked as a manager, a head manager at a strip club when I was down in Texas while I was actually waiting to get picked up by the Feds for the prison job actually. It’s a really interesting dynamic. You’re talking about career relaunches. Listen. I have done some relaunches, man. Joseph: I never actually stepped foot into a prison myself, Jay. I was just wondering, can you just give a glimpse into what a typical day was like for you there working in a prison? Maybe we could start off by talking about exactly what’s your role was there. Jay: Straight in from the baseline as a correctional officer. It’s actually a really easy transition to go from someone who’s in the military to a federal law enforcement job. You already have the training. You’re asking earlier how that transition was. Inside the prison, for example, that’s a totally different world. Remember, we keep on talking about these different careers, and honestly, it’s like hugely different, going through different doors, and literally in a prison. I think the first thing, whenever I first walked in one, is to notice that you’re locked in. There’s no way out of it. You know what I’m saying? Once you go through that front door, that sliding door closes before the next one opens. It’s what you call a sally port. That’s the transfer space. Once those doors close, you know, ‘Man, I’m going into prison right now.’ Joseph: I’m a little naïve when it comes to this stuff. I guess my perceptions of prison are probably based on what I’ve seen in popular media. I was hooked on that series, ‘Prison Break,’ for a really long time. I loved that show. I think what I found most fascinating about the show was the social dynamic that happens between the prisoners and the correctional officers. I don’t know how accurate that is or how much that reflects reality. Jay: We really can’t really compare it to things on TV. We have an idea, because obviously, you do have those relationships, especially whenever you know there’s times that you’re walking into a unit that might have 150 inmates or prisoners in that one wing, I guess you can say, and you’re in there by yourself. They’re not locked behind doors. They don’t have handcuffs on. They’re free to walk around and move, and you’re the only guy back there. It’s a different dynamic. It’s a totally different dynamic. I’m sure across different levels also. If we really go deep in the prison lifestyle, you have different ones from county compared to city, compared to state, and all the way up to federal. Talking about the social interaction in a federal prison is a lot different than a lot of other prisons, because usually, the inmates are going to be there a lot longer. It’s a little bit more relaxed. That’s why they usually call it Club Fed Med. Joseph: What were the kinds of prisoners that you were around? What was the range of the types of people that you crossed paths with there in the prison? Jay: One of the prison cells, the really cool thing about it was actually what they consider an administrative level prison. What that means is that it actually has every single classification type of inmate there. You have the max lifers all the way to what they call campers, who actually don’t even sleep inside the prison. They sleep outside of the wire, and they actually usually take care of the prison grounds and stuff. When I was in prison, I worked with everyone. I worked with mental health inmates who would be locked up for the rest of their lives because they’re not fit to return to society. I’ve worked with inmates who would be getting out in the next two months and trying to get them ready for civilian life again. Joseph: What was the toughest thing about working with those types of people as a correctional officer for you? Jay: You can go in there thinking you’re going to be in one place, let’s say, working with the inmates who are going to get out in two months. Next thing you know, you got to go work on an inmate who’s locked up for the rest of his life, who has a mental health issue. You have to wear a lot of different hats, and you got to be able to change really, really quickly. I think that’s probably one of the most challenging aspects of being in a prison like that, because you have so many different ranges of inmates. Joseph: Just a couple more questions about your life there before we move on to your transition and why you decided to leave. It’s a really fascinating environment. I’m just trying to think about being in an environment where you’re surrounded by what I’m going to assume are mostly men who have done quite a few bad things in their lives and don’t have a lot, necessarily, to lose. What was one of the scariest things that happened to you when you were a correctional officer in that sort of an intense environment? Jay: The scariest point, I would probably say, is the chow hall. The chow hall’s probably the most frightening place to be, because you’re trying to push through a lot of people really quick. You’re feeding close to 1,500 inmates or 1,000 inmates. You’re trying to get them all through in an hour and a half or two hours. That’s quick. Then someone had a bad day, or someone did this, or someone did that. You got to worry about people cutting in line. It sounds ignorant, it sounds small, but respect goes a big way, especially in prison. If you disrespect someone, it can just spark. In that chow hall, that’s usually where it’s going to go down. That’s probably one of the most frightening places, seeing those guys when they get agitated and about to do something, but then you, having the wherewithal, not being able complacent, knowing what’s going on, and being able to snap those guys out of it instantly too. It’s not so much friendly like you see on TV. It’s more of a respect. If you respect me, I’m going to respect you. I’m going to respect you if you respect me. It goes back and forth. That’s probably the biggest thing that you learn in prison. Joseph: That was going to be my other question for you: what did you learn from being in that environment, about yourself and also how to think about your own life? Jay: I would say the biggest thing is just be cool. ‘Be cool, shorty. Just relax.’ Especially being from overseas and being in the military and stuff, you just automatically want to react instantly. Sometimes, they can play on that, and people don’t realize that. The best thing to do is just to be calm, level-headed, breathe a little bit, and hopefully, you’ll find a clear path on what you’re trying to achieve. Joseph: I got one more question about this, Jay, and then I’m will move on to your transition. I’m just thinking, you and I have chatted on video cam before, and you’re clearly a lot bigger and stronger than I am. Jay: Come on, man. Joseph: Definitely, there’s no question. I’m thinking, if I was in that environment, myself, I would be really scared. I think I would actually fear for my life. I’m not sure how well I would fare in that environment as someone who has spent most of my life working in offices and in the corporate world. How did you maintain your composure in an intense environment like that? Jay: When I was in the military, I don’t think or I know I didn’t have the ‘body’ that you see whenever we video chat. There’s no way. I realized that. I don’t really believe the military has the best physical conditioning there is, or at least for the army, in my personal opinion, to look your best and feel your…
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