Absolute Worst Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 54: Absolute Worst Feedback (Part 1) May 19, 2018

Show notes

Episode 54 is entirely dedicated to listener feedback. We meet an Australian who finally got married, an OG listener who’s bored, and a woman who’s sick of everyone being objectified. We also celebrate other incredible women who are creating cool stuff. Be sure to check out Fat Girls Dance!!! Facebook: @fatgirlsdance Instagram: @fatgirlsdancemovement A year of dance: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1zJz-nKVhjdAgOUmWMYLJg, Podcast: https://thenakedpodcast.splashthat.com/ Then we meet a woman who thinks she’s a licensed professional therapist, and she therapizes a listener from episode 29. While we’re empowering some people, we’re upsetting many others, and we meet a listener who scolds us for claiming that everyone’s a racist. Sorry! The feedback continues with input from another AWP therapist, a bastard child and their counterpart, an old man, a worldwide traveler, a woman who’s been inspired to reconnect with her core, and a tight vag sympathizer. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 53: Periods, More Milk Bags, & a Scared Hippo May 12, 2018

Show notes

EPISODE 53 – PERIODS, MORE MILKBAGS AND A SCARED HIPPO Alison and Dana really feel like Oprah this week as they once again discuss their fancy Swedish Sudio headphones. They also offer everyone a 15% off promo code!!! (www.sudio.com Promo Code: ABSOLUTEWORST) During our feedback section, we meet a hateful listener who demands we free our intern, Sarah. NOT A CHANCE, WITCHWOMAN! We then receive a lot of accolades for removing a woman from her boyfriend’s asshole and are re-visited by the Canadian Milkbag Woman. Afterwards, we are slightly reprimanded for insinuating that literally everyone has a STD and that it’s no big deal. The Absolute Worst Therapy segment begins with a period question. STOP DOING THIS! We then meet a woman who insults Alison for not having sisters but then also asks her for advice. Finally, we help a lovely Irish lass to be the best mom she can be. Episode 53 ends with an Absolute Yourst that would give Alfred Hitchcock a run for his money. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 52: Attitudes and Platitudes May 05, 2018

Show notes

In Episode 52, Alison makes the huge announcement that she’s now a Twinkling Star! During the feedback section, we meet a listener who wants to hear more about our Absolute Yourst segment. We also meet a lovely woman who offers some heartfelt feedback and then slips in a period reference…RUDE! Then, as usual, one of our listeners does some vagina research that we’re too lazy to do. We also meet a man who sends some feedback but we’re mostly just obsessed with his email signature line. We are once again visited by the “Jewish Farmers Only” listener during the Absolute Worst Therapy section and while we’ve single-handedly fixed her love life, she now has job issues. We also meet a woman whose ex is a narcissistic albatross and another woman whose uterus is closed for business. Episode 52 ends with an Absolute Yourst that results in one listener getting the royal treatment. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 51: Ryan Gaul Apr 28, 2018

Show notes

EPISODE 51 – RYAN GAUL This week’s guest is Ryan Gaul!!! Ryan can currently be seen on the new TBS show, The Last OG where he plays Tiffany Haddish’s husband! The Last OG is produced by Jordan Peele and stars Tracy Morgan. It is so funny, go watch it! Ryan helps us navigate some listener problems in Episode 51 and we begin by helping a listener determine whether or not she needs to tell on her co-worker. We also try to help a woman be more selfish and another woman remove a man from her porch. We end this episode with a Ryan Gaul Absolute Yourst that leaves us wondering why he is still using this word… Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 50: Where is Scandinavia? Apr 21, 2018

Show notes

This week Alison seeks help and Dana rips on her for previously-chosen Halloween costumes. Seems reasonable. We start Episode 50 by reading some listener feedback and Dana gets real excited because she gets to meet one of her applebuddys. She also gets a suggestion of something that goes great with a Cunt Waffle pencil and then she gets to meet one of our male listeners! Our feedback section ends with another listener who is very upset about AWP’S previous guest Ben Jamison’s thoughts on marriage. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section we discuss saggy boobs, tight vages and Scandanavian life goals. We end this episode with an Absolute Yourst that’s gay as fuck…literally. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 49: Highs & Lows Apr 14, 2018

Show notes

Alison and Dana are depressed…obviously. They spend Episode 49 recounting some of their recent highs and lows. This ends with everyone receiving a 15% off promo code for some incredible Swedish headphones!!! (www.sudio.com Promo Code: ABSOLUTEWORST) To cheer ourselves up, we decide to read some listener feedback! One person says we’re helping and then several other listeners explain how we’ve inadvertently embarrassed them in social settings. SORRY! During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we try to help a listener stop being a “terrible friend.” We also try to make one of our male listeners feel better about the fact that he’s never been divorced. We end this episode with an Absolute Yourst that makes our butts hurt again! WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 48: Dave Razowsky Apr 07, 2018

Show notes

This week’s guest is improv guru, Dave Razowsky! Dave is an alumni of Second City Chicago where he performed with an all-star cast including Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert and Amy Sedaris. He teaches and performs improv all over the world. You can follow his whereabouts and also hear his therapy-adjacent podcast, ADD Podcast, at his website, http://www.davidrazowsky.com/. In Dave’s episode we discuss making mistakes, being honest, and why we don’t like it when people yuck our yums. We also answer questions about when it’s appropriate to tweeze facial hair, whether or not it’s important for us to want to bang our partners, and how to communicate with people we don’t like. We also discuss the horrible burden of fixing other people’s problems. Dave ends Episode 48 with a horrific Absolute Yourst that makes our butts hurt. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 47: The Deep South Strikes Back Mar 31, 2018

Show notes

We begin Episode 47 by honoring our interns…all of them. We then hear some listener feedback regarding the Deep South — turns out this is a very divisive topic. Afterwards, Alison continues her quest to convince Dana that their podcast is secretly a matchmaking site. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we immediately debunk the theory that absence makes the heart grow fonder while providing some advice to a woman who’s struggling in her marriage. We also try to figure out how to tell if someone loves you. Finally, we meet yet another “annoying” woman who is trying to force her partner to marry her. STOP DOING THAT! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 46: Freaky Friday/Bang Our Intern Mar 24, 2018

Show notes

EPISODE 46 – FREAKY FRIDAY/BANG OUR INTERN We begin Episode 46 reading text messages between our Absolute Worst Intern and her youthful friend. We also get an update from our dead-tongue listener. We first meet her in Episode 12 and she’s been sending us updates ever since. If you would like to donate to her GoFundMe page, it is here: https://www.gofundme.com/6mffn3-help-amanda-beat-cancer. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a listener who is trying to help people but failing miserably and wants to know when enough is enough. Then we fix another marital issue by offering up the magic elixir – blowjobs. And finally, one listener pretends to be angry about Christmas gifts but we’re pretty sure it’s something else. Our Absolute Yourst section begins with a warning against losing too much weight followed by a Dana Powell impersonation! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 45: Alison's Not Doing Well Mar 17, 2018

Show notes

In Episode 45, Alison falls apart and dreams of checking into a hotel. Instead, Dana makes her march in a protest. Not helpful, Dana! During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we finally meet the one listener who LOVES our website. We also hear back from the perfume lady, Dana gets yelled at for telling people not to drink, and the woman we stalk shares an update on her house/albatross. The Absolute Worst Therapy section begins with a question from a woman who is missing her childhood and somehow this results in Dana ripping on Alison for not speaking Spanish. We also try to help a woman figure out what her BF is up to and then we chastise her for not providing details. Our last listener is wondering if she should reach out to a long-lost family member and Alison and Dana totally disagree as to whether this is reasonable or not. We end this episode with an Absolute Yourst that makes our vaginas hurt. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

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