Absolute Worst Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 74: Steve Hytner Oct 06, 2018

Show notes

Steve Hytner is famously known for playing Kenny Bania on Seinfeld. His podcast, “That’s Gold with Steve Hytner” covers everything from sports betting to pop culture (thatsgold.gold). Before we begin, Steve shares a little bit about his 13-year-old son Jack’s fight against cancer. Steve has recently relocated from Reno, NV to Los Angeles in order to be nearer Children’s Hospital. You can donate to Jack at jackscavalry.com which is also where you can find Jack’s GoFundMe page. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, Steve helps us figure out how to get people gifts, what we should do when people say they think you we don’t like them, and how to date a traumatized boyfriend. Episode 74 ends with a story that reinforces Alison’s belief that Dana is a horrible nanny. Also, Steve berates Alison and Alison is forced to eat her feelings. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. If you are looking for a way to support us, you can donate to AWP here. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 73: Molly Hawkey Sep 29, 2018

Show notes

Our guest this week is Molly Hawkey! Molly is famously known for editing herself into The Bachelor. She is also the creator/host of one of our favorite podcasts, Spermcast, which is Molly’s very personal quest to find a sperm donor. Spermcast was featured in both The Washington Post as well as The Huffington Post. You can listen to Spermcast here. In Episode 73, we discuss The Bachelor, getting older, and facing our fears. Molly also helps us answer some listener questions and we begin by discussing alcoholism…FUN! Afterwards, we help another listener determine whether or not she’s an awful person and then we cure anxiety. Molly insists that we end this episode with a listener Absolute Yourst which lends itself to us finding Alison and Dana’s Dallas, Texas baby! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 72: Sound Off! Sep 22, 2018

Show notes

Episode 72 starts off casually enough as we discuss the positive benefits of butter, hear some very pleasant listener feedback and find out we’re the heroes of an AA meeting. Afterwards, things take a turn when Alison accuses Dana of being from St. Louis. This episode continues to unravel when we read an email from our Virginia Intern. She has a lot of thoughts but Dana loses her mind upon receiving a few notes about our sound quality. In an attempt to calm her down, Alison reads additional listener email complaints re AWP sound. Who’s ready for some therapy!? We once again hear from the “Get Out Girl” who’s seeking additional professional help re laundry. Then we try to navigate another listener’s living situation. Unsurprisingly, we fail on both counts. Since nothing we do in this episode makes sense, we decide to end with yet another Absolute Yourst from everyone’s favorite Milk Bag Lady. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 71: It Started Coming Out... Sep 15, 2018

Show notes

EPISODE 71 – IT STARTED COMING OUT… In Episode 71, Republic Rob demands that everyone give us money, and who are we to argue? If you’d like to contribute to AWP, you can do so via the following links: https://www.patreon.com/absoluteworstpodcast or https://www.gofundme.com/absolute-worst-crowdfunding. During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we meet a woman who helped Alison escape from the cops and another woman who hates coughers. We also again ask, “Why Me?” Afterwards, in the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we help a young person navigate the new school year and, as always, convince another listener to quit her job. Finally, Alison meets her spirit animal and encourages her to stop sleeping with everyone. We end Episode 71 with an international Yourst that gives us the poop sweats. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 70: Absolute Worst Feedback- Part II Sep 08, 2018

Show notes

In Episode 70, we focus on helping others by dedicating our entire episode to feedback! We kick it off with some gifts we received from Lanae at Medical Monkeys! Every time you send a Medical Monkey to a loved one, a $10 donation gets made to a charity. Find out more at medicalmonkeys.com. We then do a series of shout-outs per our listener demands and Alison realizes that she’s single-handedly keeping The Public Theater afloat. We also get some feedback about apps Dana will like, crafting support and Gluten. Another listener writes in response to Episode 21 and shares a very honest story about her struggles with suicide. The Absolute Worst Feedback continues with a response to Episode 31, wherein we discuss maintaining friendships in the face of political differences. We also get a response to Episodes 35 & 36 where a listener tells Alison to be nicer to her husband and Episode 49 where another listener asks us all to visualize the hole. Finally, we realize that we’re destroying the Marine Corps. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 69: Molly Erdman Sep 01, 2018

Show notes

Today’s special guest is Molly Erdman! You may recognize Molly from her hilarious BreakWomb videos on YouTube or perhaps you’re familiar with her blog/book, Catalog Living. You can find out more about Molly on her website: mollyerdman.com. Since Molly is an OG listener, we kick off Episode 69 with some listener feedback. Our first listener demands that Alison literally stop talking. NO CHANCE, YOU WITCH! We also read the results of a very prestigious Instagram poll regarding gift giving. And for the last time, STOP ASKING PEOPLE IF THEY’RE PREGNANT, YOU DUMB FUCKS!!! We end the feedback section by having yet another argument about the hot girl in the bagel store. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, Molly helps us answer a listener question regarding dentistry. We end Episode 69 with an Absolute Yourst that recounts a harrowing trip to Costco. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 68: The Dana Episode Aug 25, 2018

Show notes

In Episode 68, we celebrate Dana Powell. We also celebrate Intern Sarah by giving her a microphone! We start by answering a listener question about Dana’s bumper problem. We also hear from Alison’s boyfriend, Republican Rob, who offers Dana some insurance advice. We then head over to Dana’s Book Corner where she re-counts the array of books she’s suggested to people over the course of our show (You Are A Badass, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck, The Antidote). Afterwards, we diagnose a listener’s dream/nightmare. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we help a man learn how to ignore his wife’s advice and a woman lie to her parents. We end Dana’s Episode with a barrage of Ghost Stories which infuriate Alison. STOP SENDING THOSE! Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 67: Belly Button Fishing Aug 18, 2018

Show notes

We start the Absolute Feedback section with an email from a new listener who has joined us on our emotional rollercoaster. Buckle up, bitch! We also hear from an overthinking mama and a woman who diagnoses Alison with Empathy Deficiency. The feedback continues when we hear back from a woman who previously wrote in about all the drifters in her home and then another listener reveals that her running game has been ruined by Dana’s sex life. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we try to teach the youth about sex without feelings. We also help another listener get out of her friend’s asshole and then we fix all fertility issues that have ever existed. We end Episode 67 with an Absolute Yourst which makes us question the benefits of spooning. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 66: Unsolicited Advice & Sexting Aug 11, 2018

Show notes

In Episode 66, we have a literal breakthrough while living vicariously through one of our favorite listeners, “Desperately Seeking Dick.” We’re so happy for you!!! We also hear from an actual licensed professional therapist who’s responsible for most of Alison’s food porn obsessions. And we get to hear back from the woman whose story about her brother’s battle with mental illness has garnered tons of feedback. Afterwards, we hear from our “bored” listener and she essentially takes back everything she’s ever said. Finally, Alison continues to try to connect two listeners even though it’s wildly inappropriate. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we answer some important life questions about weddings and weight loss. We also try to help someone’s girlfriend to be less crazy and Alison discusses her husband’s dick. Finally, in the Absolute Yourst section, Dana and Alison feel compelled to give advice despite not being asked. We then meet the only person in the world who should potentially see a movie with Dana and a crazy woman who uses a tanning bed, even though she lives in Texas. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

Episode 65: Anxiety, Depression, and a Buttwiper Aug 04, 2018

Show notes

EPISODE 65 – ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, AND A BUTTWIPER In Episode 65, we address a lot of the emails we’ve received regarding anxiety and depression. We start with some feedback from Alison’s boyfriend, Republican Rob. We also hear from Dana’s best friend and an amazing powerhouse mother of three. In response to the Irish mom from Episode 53, another listener suggests the FB group Grown and Flown Parents, a community for parents of 15-25 year olds. We end the feedback section with a powerful account of one of our listener’s struggle with suicide and depression. He also discusses his battle with weight loss and Dana mentions Woodall Weightloss Solutions. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we help a woman address her anxiety. We also help a listener with a big pee pee talk to his mom. We end this episode by offering listeners an opportunity to help someone in need. OG listener, Kathleen Flint lost everything during the Sun Prairie, WI gas explosion. You can donate to her GoFundMe here: https://www.gofundme.com/impactedbysunprairieexplosion. We end with an Absolute Yourst and then Dana tells a story and we all throw up. Alison and Dana ALWAYS want to hear your problems, advice, feedback and Absolute Yoursts! You can contact them through their website, friend them on Facebook, or follow them on Instagram and Twitter. **NOTE** If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States. The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. See website for additional crisis services and hotlines. Online chat services provided as well at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The National Eating Disorder Association is a great resource: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/types-symptoms-eating-disorders. In order to learn about the different types of abuse that occur in unhealthy relationships and receive help while remaining anonymous, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline here: (800) 799−7233 and http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/

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