You're Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

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A Reckless Life Matters Jun 15, 2016

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I met a hilarious, gregarious young African American mother of 2 little gorgeous babies named Reckless, whose main goal in life was to not die because she was black and be able to raise her children without fear. Growing up the color of printer paper in Washington DC, a city that was 95 percent black I have always been acutely aware the differences that my skin afforded me most obviously being my total lack of fear surrounding the Police. I have always, without question, talked back to cops. I've been arrested for "assaulting" a police officer...twice. I recently went to go see a play about the life of Dick Gregory a Brilliant comic who paved the way for Richard Pryor and was instrumental player in the Civil Rights movement. This play reduced me to a puddle of ashes and tears for it made you turn around and stare at the Sodom and Gomorrah like world that was the African American experience in America. His bravery was limitless. He would go from one red neck racist comedy club in the south to the next, where the Klu Klux Klan would routinely pay him visits, spreading his brilliant comedy like wildfire throughout the country eventually knocking down the pillars that separated Black artists from being able to be shown on television and seen as artist who demanded the white worlds respect. The amount of hate that is swirling around the world right now is filling my lungs with cement and crushing the butterflies that usually live in my tummy. The hate grows and grows, the body count exponentially increases, while two jack asses hammer it out for president who will probably do nothing to change the gun laws that are allowing people to be mowed down like an overgrown lawns. What are we going to do to actually change this dying planet. I don't have answers. I'm searching desperately. If you have some, please, message me. https://www.gofundme.com/PulseVictimsFund http://www.thecenterorlando.org Edited by Emily Brodtman (I LOVE YOU) Music: Get Money: Biggie Dreams Money Can Buy: Drake

Do They Sell A Brita Filter For My Soul on Amazon Prime? Jun 11, 2016

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I love Hare Krishnas. They're like little orange Pokemon and I want to catch them all. Of all the Cool Aids religious zealots have tried to serve me, it's the one I always feel like I could drink. As I continue my quest to figure out what I think about God I keep bumping up against these guys, mostly because they're all over NYC and so bloody loud with their cow bells and shouting. So here we have Zoe Vs. Hare Krishna's round two. In the end, I love their commitment to peace, veganism and kindness, but they also do come off as used car salesman in fanta colored pashminas after a while trying to shove their totally one sided views about how to live your life. Either way, they always leave me reflective about would I be happier if I had someone like Krishna on my side.

Nuerochemical Con Job Jun 10, 2016

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As always i've been wondering around NYC asking strangers how they feel about sex, monogamy, social media and this ever present sense of "I". I found this gorgeous man, full of charisma and charm willing to talk to me about how he feels. Hope you're enjoying the sun everyone.

I WILL Have Your Child IF You Leave ME Jun 01, 2016

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This Memorial Day weekend I was an exceptional place called Members Only Camp Out, a full on music dancing orgy with the most professional partiers Brooklyn has to offer. Sometimes I feel like these people were put into those two test tube from the Movie the "FLY" and they were in one tube and records, sunglasses ketamine, prayer beads, tattoos, and the words "Tulum, Burning Man and Ayahuasca" in the other and then through SCIENCE they were genetically fused into one creature with superhero powers to stay up for days on end dancing and chatting and laughing and having a wonderfully positive attitude toward life, (and randomly loosing pieces of their nose) My kinda people. However it was a fucking blast. Held on a old kids camp grounds on a lake full of trees and frogs and stars and bon fires I was a happy camper. ANYWAY while I was there I met this amazing guy and when you looked at him all I could think of was the song..."one of these things is not like the other..." because he was just rough and hood as fuck albeit really really handsome. He danced like a drunk lemur (kind of like that weird 90's low ninja dancing?) and had a red light in his mouth, and his tattoos weren't of Escher stairs, they were of prison style Americana so I knew he wasn't one of our bushwick party crew. Warning, he also uses racial slang in this episode that that I certainly would never use, but this is his story... Remember don't do drugs kids, they're very very bad. BUT if you're going to do them, make sure you have big green trees and a good sound system, hot girlfriends you can watch dance and someone to discuss politics with cuz then, then it's super duper fun. THANK YOU MEMBERS ONLY. I LOVED IT. HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY EVERYONE

The Wolf in Sheep's Clothing May 28, 2016

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A couple months ago I called an Uberpool to take me to work....and when I opened up the door, who was sitting snug as a bug in a rug? A real life curly q Heimish! Now, even though I live with and see them almost every day, it's like we are living in two separate universes. They usually seem to look right through me, and refuse to smile, nod, wave, or make casual conversation at the post office, grocery store, the M train whenever our paths may cross... So I enlisted my dear friend Zev who actually was raised in an Orthodox Jewish community to help me understand better the claims this wonderfully nice man made to me that rainy day, namely, no one who leaves the cult of the Orthodox could be happy. I called him one day while he was driving up to Dream land, the promise land he's building for himself, a lakeside community he's creating with all his amazing friends, sitting next to his gorgeous blonde 24 year old european girlfriend who has a smile that could knock the keepah right off your head....to ask him for and insiders perspective behind the iron Tallit. As always I am so grateful to Zev for allowing me into his brain to understand the world in which he comes from. Because regardless that we've pretty much forsaken the god from which we came from, we are happy. So take that miscellaneous Hasidic guy. You can follow me on twitter @genuinelyfalse instagram @drznightingale snapchat @djkillinit website www.zoenightingale.com

The Wolf of Williamsburg May 25, 2016

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I have known and loved Zev Eisenberg, half of Brooklyn's infamous Wolf and Lamb music duo for almost a decade. Zev is simply one of the coolest mother fuckers I have ever met. He has the best b.s detector of anyone I know, and is always the first to call me out whenever I do or say something stupid (which is often) I wanted to share his story because I think his journey is of IMMENSE value to anyone who is going through intense sickness or helping someone they love get well. The fact is that while modern medicine has afforded us incredible achievements in the battle against cancer and disease, it is not the only way that one can heal. If you or someone you love is going through this, I would highly recommend seeking out second opinions before you dive head first into the never ending abyss that is western way of dealing with illness. His story is also of great value to me, because today is the first day of my super hardcore very bad no good month long detox cleanse for I too have not been so well. Like any good Brooklynite, I hired a woman who looks like Tinkerbell and has a ultra hyphonated made up hippie name like she was raised by two lesbian art critics....to help me get my life back. So I'm sorry that I haven't been around my dear loyal and loving listeners. I promise I will be back to my fighting weight in no time. Wish me luck. I'll let you all know what life without meat, dairy, fun, sugar, gluten, drugs and booze is like in a month. LOVE Z Music: Don't Break It -Zev Eisenberg Last Night a DJ Saved My Life - Indeep Edited by: Emily Brodtman Thank you again to the WHOLE Wolf + Lamb Crew Love family for letting me do my live show in your amazing new Marcy North Hotel. SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU

What Does A Pussy Have To Do With THIS?! BONUS EPISODE !!* May 07, 2016

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Warning - This episode probably won't be funny to anyone other than my sister but as it's almost my father's birhtday I thought I would honor him by letting him listen to just how rediculous he is. Our relationship has always been a battle. Even though after 30 years I KNOW that trying to win an argument is akin to screaming at the wind for blowing, I can't help myself. When I was little and I would tell him something hurt, no matter what the level of severity from head ache to broken wrist he would always retort the same thing, "would you like me to take a hammer to your big toe, then X will hurt less..." We are the literal embodiment of my second favorite Dr. Suess Story, about the North Going Zax and the South going Zax from the prairie of prax who argue about nothing forever while the world forgets them. So over Passover I a wonderful time with my family and as he was helping me do some errands we got into this inane disagreement about his driving. Let me preface this by saying that I use the word "driving," loosely. My father acts as though he's in a formula one race car and were on our way to the hospital for a life or death heart transplant. He disagrees. He sees his driving as a perfect symphony of masculine knowledge and skill, and it should be up to him which of the rules of the road he obeys because other people have less skill and less abilities. I Disagree with that, and so the serpent eats his tail forever...i really don't know why I don't just shut up and just pray to Dionysis for protection. Either way, this is an absolutely perfect example of one of our arguments. I bring up a factual thing independent of our relationship and somehow it always goes back to the fact that it's really my problem and indicative of a life that will be spent inside a shoe surrounded by cats. I leave you with the wise words of Dr. Suess my hero: The day before today,One day, making tracks In the prairie of Prax, Came a North-Going Zax And a South-Going Zax. And it happened that both of them came to a place Where they bumped. There they stood. Foot to foot. Face to face. "Look here, now!" the North-Going Zax said, "I say! You are blocking my path. You are right in my way. I'm a North-Going Zax and I always go north. Get out of my way, now, and let me go forth!" "Who's in whose way?" snapped the South-Going Zax. "I always go south, making south-going tracks. So you're in MY way! And I ask you to move And let me go south in my south-going groove." Then the North-Going Zax puffed his chest up with pride. "I never," he said, "take a step to one side. And I'll prove to you that I won't change my ways If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!" "And I'll prove to YOU," yelled the South-Going Zax, "That I can stand here in the prairie of Prax For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School. Never budge! That's my rule. Never budge in the least! Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east! I'll stay here, not budging! I can and I will If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!" Well… Of course the world didn't stand still. The world grew. In a couple of years, the new highway came through And they built it right over those two stubborn Zax And left them there, standing un-budged in their tracks.

The Panda Express Train to Extinction - Zoe Does Japan (Part 1) May 05, 2016

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Japan has left me full of wonder from the past and equally obsessively concerned with the present and future. I feel like i'm trapped inside a Baraka video. Everywhere I go streams and droves of ant like humans, half of them covered in scary medical face masks stream over and around me like i'm a stick in the way of their march through the forrest, the sea of faces parts and I feel like i'm somehow stationary in this human/technological charybdis where a zillion crazy asian sounds and mega giant screens fill my head with subliminal advertisements and then my throat gets itchy and all I can think is wouldn't it be nice to have a cold icy Coca Cola and then go to shopping. It's this bizarre molotov cocktail of having a people who are so delightfully homogenous to the point where NO ONE locks their bikes and there's NO trash cans because people take care of their own trash and strangers stop instantly to help you any time you look remotely lost or confused, a people who routinely wear Hannibal Lecter type face masks for weeks if they are sick to reduce the risk to their fellow countrymen...I fell asleep on the train with my laptop/cellphone/wallet literally next to me in plain view and what happened? NOTHING! Because even their mafia the Yakuza, pays taxes and has an honor system. Then add to this crock pot a tablespoon school girl fetish, a dollop pokemon porn with a cup of Hentai/Manga and a dash of rape fantasies and top it all off with an anglo saxon feature worship that's so omnipresent that I never see asian faces advertising anything and there are thousands of photo booths that help girls do instant airbrushing on their face so they can have rounder more western eyes, lighter skin and smaller noses. This is also a culture who is so addicted to their virtual lives that barely anyone is reproducing and the population of Japan in the next 20 years will be reduced by 2o percent due to the lowest birthright in the solar system because let's face it, who want to go through the struggle of trying to insert your genitals into another actual breathing human when you can sit at home and jerk off to a perfect anime creature who will love you for you? I get it. However, it's been exceptionally difficult to get any answers because very few people speak english and even if they do, it's almost impossible to get substantive answers about basically anything. It's all politeness, all surface, lots of bowing and kindness...which makes for extra medium story telling. However the good news is I've become friends with some beautiful dark African men with brilliant smiles have set up shop and are doing all kinds of brilliant entrepreneurial work here AND as always, red cheeked women from all over the world who work in the sex industry. Either way, i'll keep trying. I begin with my first episode from here, recorded after we had hiked up a mountain in Kyoto where was this hidden monkey park, but google had lied to us, and we ran into a lovely Chinese couple that was similarly following technology into no where and I as we walked down the mountain I talked to him a little bit about his life. My findings? Devastating. Again I know that I shouldn't place one animal above the other, that all animals have little tiny noses and feelings and personalities and as I've basically stopped eating meat entirely I shouldn't get on a soap box for one and not all but this story made me particularly want to kill myself and wipe out the rest of humanity so nature could take a billion years to recover herself and perhaps create a more thoughtful, and kind sentient being to live harmoniously with her glory.

Glamour, Heroin an Murder...Oh My! Party Monster Michael Alig Takes Us Behind the Curtain Apr 12, 2016

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Michael Alig, the beautiful party promoter who took took over NYC's party scene in the 90's has been released from Prison for his 1996 murder of Angel Melendez. For some background, this is the same man whose life that the 2003 movie Party Monster (Staring Seth Green and McCauley Caulkin) was based off of. He was a brilliant Pied Piper who was able to create a social movement that swept over the nation calling small town rejects and societal misfits to join he's legion of worshippers called the "Club Kids." Reviled by some, worshiped by others, he's like the trump of 90's. . As someone who itimately knows the New York Party scene, let me tell you the kind of charisma and raw unique creative chutzpah this takes happens with only a very brilliant, visionary with a calculator brain. Every single person I know whose above 35 got their party flippers wet at Limelight, or Tunnel. HE wasn't a monster, he was God, for years. Then he fell, like Icarus, into the abyss not be be seen or heard for 17 years. Well he's back, and we've been spending time together. He's been out of prison for two years he's off drugs, and ready to find way to pick up the humpty dumpty pieces of his life and try to hot glue them back together again but shockingly that hasn't been easy.... He was gracious enough to let me into his life, speak with his family and friends, and provide some light into what a world soaked in heroin and solitary confinement would be like. We spoke endlessly, about life, prison, addiction, redemption, his art, he's dreams and his nightmares. I realized what I was trying to do in speaking to him was take an issue that seemed black and white and show the prism of colors that surrounded it. Michael is a rainbow of colors. He has a kind of brutal honesty through his humor that can be sharp and cutting, while being dull and blunt. He reminded me constantly of the Cheshire cat from Alice and Wonderland, both hands pointed in opposite directions whenever I would try to ask him about difficult subjects. We are all chasing a different white rabbit that is represented in our different addictions, whether helpful or harmful. We are all playing hide and seek with the ultimately elusive meta concept of "happiness." We are all constantly scraping up and crashing against each other, harming ourselves and others to varying degrees. The question becomes not if we will harm others it's merely when? Subsequently, how can you ever atone, when the repercussions of your mistakes leave lasting scars on the ones your love, your community, and the world. Furthermore what's really tricky is even if you're absolved judicially, how do you forgive yourself? I don't claim to answer any of these questions. All i can do is ask them, and when I make mistakes try to put one foot in front of the other, find news ways to live my life, as my mother always says, with gentle loving kindness. Thank you Michael for sharing your story with me. Throughout this journey I kept two quotes in mind: From My Neck So Free The Albatross fell off, and Sank Like Lead Into The Sea Dorthy: OZ we're you frightened? Oz: Frightened? Child you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe, I was petrified Thank you to Zev and Gadi for allowing me to do the live show at their beautiful Marcy North Hotel in Williamsburg. Thank you to Jordan Reisman my trusty sound engineer Thank you to David Herman, and Emily Brodtman who helped me weave this story together. Songs: Neil Diamond: Damage Done Go to www.adamandevetoys.com and put in my name "Zoe" to get discounts and free shipping on any of their online store. You can help me live my dream of doing this full time, every time you come.

Poop Di Do Apr 11, 2016

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I've been around the proverbial block and I have never, ever heard of some of the crazy drug combinations Michael Alig and his friends used to do. I mean like bat shit insane. Here's just a mini tini example of the kind of crack heads they were. Makes my past look like the Sound of Music. So I think him for that.

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