You're Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

Latest Episodes:

I Kissed A Girl and I.......Liked it? PART 2 Jun 01, 2017

Show notes

DRUM ROLL PLEASE.....the answers to all of last weeks episode and more! I have three more interviews to dot the i's and cross the t's of what really goes down in a all female hetrosexual orgy. Next up, my dear mother and father discuss my experience there and weigh in on why I am the way I am. Host note: I love skirt club. I love it's founders I love it's message I love their events and everyone should try this for themselves. Everyone else was having a fabulous time and it literally looked like one of the most beautiful porn movies you've ever watched....perfect lighting, gorgeous women, big white furry rugs, hot tubs, pink champagne...strap ons, wands the works. It's a wonderful place to learn more about yourself, so try it for yourself, I guarantee you you'll be more successful than me. Music: I want to be evil: Eartha Kitt Nasty Girl: Vanity 6 Follow Margo Stilley @margostilley Skirt Club @skirtclub

I Kissed A Girl and I.....Liked It? May 24, 2017

Show notes

When Genevieve La June the founder of Skirt Club UK, asked me to give a comedic speech at her New York event (a all female sex party for straight women) I was THRILLED. It was not an easy task they gave me, to deliver a speech on Women's liberation since the 1920's to 100 New York City bad ass bitches in 1,000 dollar matching Agent Provocateur lingerie sets, sipping pink champagne greedily awaiting me to finish my silly speech so they could feast on each others innards. Subsequently, I couldn't have been more nervous, but in the end everyone was laughing so hard I thought they'd pop open their corsets, so I've concluded I killed it. Despite this I ultimately failed in my goal, which was to finally have sexual congress with a pair of XX chromosomes. To be fair I had a pink albatross hanging around my clavicle because I have been toying around with the idea of bisexuality for some time. Primarily after a major break up when I quietly thought to myself, that's it, i'm finished with foreskin...bring on the V. Don't get me wrong, as an ex party girl burning man junkie I have invariably had multiple experiences of varying degrees of disaster, with women. Most of them sadly wearing festival shit like fairy wings, glitter and nipple pasties...women who probably say things like "i'm only doing this because Mercury is in retrograde and I just finished my moon celebration...hold on i need to take out my yoni egg before we start" - shoot me) Despite my XXX rated desires, most of these experiences ended up looking like a PG13 scene from Girls Gone Wild Panama Spring Break (2002) because when there's 2 sluts baked on drugs no one is actually going to pull the trigger and eat two day old party vag that's been marinating in shiny lame/lycra hotpants in the sun in places without toilet paper. It's just not going to happen. #blindleadingtheblind. I've concluded that YOU NEED TESTOSTERONE or an actual Lesbian because straight women are all talk, flirt and ego and in the end it becomes just that. Talk. If you listen to me, you probably know I can talk my way in or out of anything. Throughout my sexual life I would create super sexy girl on girl moments.... only then to fall victim to the tiny Woody Allen spermatozoa worry wort that lives on my right shoulder that likes to remind me that Michael Douglass got throat cancer from munching so much box. What's my point? In my mind I am this sexually fluid, open minded sex goddess ready and willing to participate in any and all adventures. In reality, I am a fucking coward shaking like a leaf in a hurricane when ever I have to leave my comfort zones and try something new. It's pathetic. I am working on it. So I went to this party. The rest is history. A huge thank you to Skirt Club for allowing me into your world it was the ultimate litmus test. Music : My Neck My Back - Khia I Kissed A Girl - Katie Perry website: https://skirtclub.co.uk/ Instagram: @skirtclub Host note: the founders are IN the photo above

Por La Izquierda PARTE UNO May 18, 2017

Show notes

I LOVE CUBA. But it confused the deviled egg outta me. Here's what I DO know.....It is a delicious, sensual, colorful, vibrant, wonderland that has the kind of magic only a country that has been preserved in the past could have. Technology simply isn't there. We had to buy the internet like we were buying a crack rock in a street ally. A little man runs out to your car and sells you wifi! Everyone you meet looks right in your eyes. Everywhere you go spontaneous dance erupts like techtonic plates crashing into one another. While it is a community that is ready for change, i'm not sure their ready for the kind of disconnection, connection brings. I haven't had a vacation like this in years. Totally random, using fate as my guide, random chance as my destiny, no GPS, just maps and stars and wishes to get places. You have to be on time, because you can't call anyone!! Remember when people were on time not just texting you a sundry of preposterous excuses. I DO. You didn't show up late, because then your friends ditched you. #consequences. People strut. They walk down the street like their private parts are made of the freshest ripest, juiciest ingredients. This is not just sexy young women, this is big beautiful round women in bright pink spandex their body resembling a horn of plenty spilling over with fruit. Short, stocky men peacock around like their dick was made of gold and dance so well you could literally end up pregnant. Older women have incredible grace despite and because of the fact that they could drink and cook and fuck AND dance you under a table. The cost of things seems to be entirely negotiable and varies so wildly that there literally is no point ever where you are not being fucked sideways by 7 different people and all their cousins. For me, this is really frustrating because I pride myself on the art of negotiation but either way your gringo ass, is getting fucked, with no coconut oil. There's only two drinks. Rum, and beer. They are both delicious, and make you better at speaking Spanish AND salsa. This is probably just in my mind but winner writes the history so i'm basically a fluent ball room dancer there. Hordes of uniformed teenagers dominate the streets laughing and flirting and lost in a kind of cell phone free adolescence that I miss and loved so much about growing upEvery single person has access to free health care, free education (up to masters levels) women if they get pregnant get a mandatory full year paid leave, their husbands 6 months!!! People are SUPREMELY educated. The problem is there aren't enough jobs, and the jobs pay 11 dollars and month. Bubble gum pink, mint green and cherry red convertibles rumble by, the sounds of their exhaust clogging up your ears and confusing your lungs, it's the BEST. Glorious architecture is melting in front of your eyes and everywhere you look you can see the blinding beauty still left decaying and rotting around you. Sinful dance moves everywhere (we're talking 7th grade style hump-fests once my mother turned to me wide awed whispering, "how do they not have orgasm's in their pants when they dance?" There is a complete grasp of the present that I don't think Americans could ever understand. It's like stepping into a actual time machine, and it was for me, the complete detox i wanted. YOU NEED TO GO AND GO NOW. Cuba will always be Cuba. It's not going to change overnight, but trying to describe the spirit of it's people is like trying to bottle lightning. JUST GO.

I Cannot Change the World, But I Can Change the World of One Person. Apr 07, 2017

Show notes

How do we chose what we feel empathy for? Can you think of yourself as a good, moral person when you consistently overlook your fellow humans who are in obvious need? Every day we make choices. We overlook war, famine, lack of water, access to education, rape, genocide, a justice system that has a vested interest in incarceration and trapping minorities in a cycle of poverty, merciless slaughter of animals, toxic pollution and waste being pumped into every available crevasse of our exhausted planet... We spend our money on countless selfish vanity projects, while we watch people suffer. Does that make you bad person? I'm just as guilty of this as anyone. I pick and chose where I focus my empathy. Children are foaming from the mouth and dying in their parents arms and I go to brunch. What do we do when everything feels to big for you to help. How can we live meaningful lives full of all life has to offer while taking care of those around us who weren't so lucky? I have no answers. I feel powerless. But the only thing I can do is to start small. Volunteer at food shelters, sit down with people on the street and ask them what they need to have a tiny spark of happiness in their life. If that is cigarettes and a pint of rum so fucking what. I'm trying to help elect representatives that will help make sure the money from our taxes is allocated to those who need it most. I'm trying to do work that gives people hope and makes them feel loved. I'm acting locally while trying to think globally. It's up to you. At the end of your life what will you have given back, how will you have impacted this world to make it a better place? Fuck the photos, fuck the filters, get your hands dirty, look into peoples eyes and see that they just want to be loved, full and be warm just like you. Capitalism thrives on separation. We don't stand a chance if we continued to be divided. As for Syria, the amazing Milana Vayntrub has started a non profit called www.can'tdonothing.org which can help show you the best way to help donate to Syria and the refugees that are displaced all over the world. For New York here are some places you can donate your time, money and resources.. www.standupforkids.org/ http://trinityplaceshelter.org/ http://volunteer.foodbanknyc.org/ https://www.bowery.org/ http://www.meatloafkitchen.org/

A Warning Mar 14, 2017

Show notes

Confused about what's really happening at Standing Rock? Lets get the facts: Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) is a pipe that is supposed to carry 570,000 barrels of crude oil per day from the Dakotas to Illinois. On July 27, 2016, The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for violating the National Historic Preservation Act when the agency issued final permits for a massive crude oil pipeline stretching from North Dakota to Illinois. This complaint asserts that the Corps violated multiple environmental and historic preservation statutes, focusing on the decision to reroute the pipeline from Bismarck, North Dakota to the doorstep of the Standing Rock reservation without adequate environmental analysis. The Dakota Access Pipeline project, also known as Bakken Oil Pipeline, would extend 1,168 miles across North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, and Illinois, crossing through communities, farms, tribal land, sensitive natural areas and wildlife habitat. The pipeline would carry crude oil from the Bakken oil fields in North Dakota to Illinois where it will link with another pipeline that will transport the oil to terminals and refineries along the Gulf of Mexico. The Corps granted permits for the pipeline in July 2016 under Nationwide Permitting. This process circumvents any kind of close environmental review and public process. The Lake Oahe crossing requires an additional approval—known as an easement—because it crosses federally owned land on either side of the Missouri River. It was this easement that the government confirmed would not be granted. On Feb. 8, the Trump administration granted the Lake Oahe easement, allowing the pipeline to be constructed under the Missouri River half a mile upstream of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation. During this process thousands of protestors came to Standing rock, to try to hold off the giant machines that were coming in to drill the land. Despite some of the most organized and visible protesting a Native American cause has ever had, the cries fell on deaf ears. The protestors were shot with rubber pellets threatened and physically assaulted. The camps have since been destroyed and the pipeline is slated to be finished as quickly as possible. I met Frank, A Sioux medicine man at a Sweat Lodge he had created after the weekend of protesting. I had the privilege of sitting with him, letting deep hot steam cleanse me of some of the black thick toxic energy I have been carrying around with me since someone pulled the cord out of my head and I woke up matrix style and I realized that there was no autonomy, and we're all tiny puppets being controlled by a bunch of rape hungry deliverance good old boys. Frank is incredible, kind, soft, thoughtful and an incredible storyteller. I am honored to be able to tell a tiny part of his story. I implore you to get involved anyway you can. Stop supporting corporations who support environmental degradation (Wells Fargo, Caterpiller, Chevron Coca Cola, Ford, Monsanto, Nestle, Pfizer, Wal-Mart) Open your eyes. Watch out for fake news stories from bullshit alt right garbage collectors like (Washington Times, Activist Post, , Dc Gazette, Bloomberg.ma, usatoday.com.co, Denver Gaurdian) Become an active member of your community. Learn about who is trying to take independent or democratic seats in the upcoming 2018 congressional elections. It's simple, we can keep watching the titanic go down in flames or millions of us can take up a thimble and start bailing little bits of water out. We're fucked, don't get me wrong. But we can at least go down with dignity as a species who tried, not just a bunch of selfish cunts wasting away like Narcissus lost in our own reflection, thinking we're the star of our own mini Truman show. www.standingrock.org https://www.naha-inc.org http://lakotalaw.org

Love Trumps Hate: Scissor Fest 2017 Mar 10, 2017

Show notes

It's Saturday January 21, 7 am. After spending 24 hours deeply entrenched in enemy territory, sounded by giant trump letters and scattered blobs of amorphous humans covered in red make America Great Again hats (only 19.95 for a limited time only, but wait theres more!) clawing my eyes out trying to talk sense into glassy eyed humans who had all drank Trumps orange cool aid.... I was about ready to Madame Butterfly my innards....HOWEVER The next morning THANK GOD I am woken up by my over caffinated mother and 15 of her pink headed pals getting their chants together in my kitchen. We started early, we had signs, we had snacks, we had clear plastic back packs, hand sanitizer, fully stocked metro cards and a lot of attitude. THE MARCH WAS MADNESS. Pink headed women swarmed the streets, shut down the subways, and overwhelmed all means of transport. Millions of women, mad, proud, sad, and reinvigorated to fight against our waking nightmare MR TRUMP. This march I believe, was about finding the strength to fight the oncoming war over our reproductive rights, to stand for immigrant women who are seeking refuge from persecution, rape and violence, to ensure our pay is finally equal to our male counterparts and to scream from the rooftops that it is and always will be our body AND our choice. To prove once and for all that it is RAPE CULTURE not LOCKER ROOM TALK. To look around and see the vast sheer quantity of like minded warm hearted pink headed humans that are there to help you through this next four years. To see millions of women around the world who have said enough. Who put heir feet in motion and showed the world that this administration DOES NOT REPRESENT AMERICA. Don't forget however, that the the fight is just beginning. That we must join forces and create a vast army of kevlar coated pussies who will be plotting every day about how to restore the Devine Feminine because the time for Testosterone is OVER. So what did I learn? That it is up to us to live freely, lead by example, smile at strangers, volunteer our time, give our money freely to those who need it, be powerful mothers, best friends and loving daughters. It is up to us to lead sinful nasty lives full of orgasms, laughter, chocolate, dirty martinis and high heels. It is up to keep up the fight to make sure this world is a place we want to live in. To protect the environment as much as possible so that the children of this world will have a place to nourish them. That we don't need to fight the forces, we need to USE THEM. Band together, use our dollars and voices to effect change. Trump is crumbling. He is scrambling, we are making headway to truly being able to restore a democratic congress in 2018. I believe in you. Music: Make America Great Again: Pussy Riot

Don't Be A Democrat, Get Yourself A Trump Hat.... Inauguration 2017 Feb 04, 2017

Show notes

January 20th 2017...Day 1 of 1300.....the day Lord Voldermorts reign of terror began! What a day it was, the sky was smothered in gray clouds, the air was thick with whatever the opposite of hope is, giant military Hum Vees were parked all over with pods of nervous looking Army guys milling around. Helicopters hovered menacingly, circling the sky, their blades adding to the symphony of fear playing on repeat throughout downtown. Sirens were going off in every direction and it generally felt like we were waiting for god to set the whole city on fire ala Sodom and Gomorrah. I was raised on George Clinton, Gogo and Ben's Chili Bowl. Politics has always been in my blood. I have been to every inauguration possible since my birth. From the moment I got off the train at Union Station, I knew I was entering enemy territory. Mr potato shaped humans, with interchangeable bland wonder bread features were milling around, all topped off with that one glowing red beacon, the "Make America Great Again," hat. I must tell you what a weird fucking thing it is to walk through YOUR hometown and feel like you are the odd man out. I hadn't thought about how much instant hatred and animosity I would feel toward ANYONE who had the tiniest amount of Trump paraphaneila on. I instantly directed all my hate and frustration onto their face and started hoping that terrible things would happen to them, we're talking full on day dreams of them being ripped apart by starving wolves, wishing STD's would explode all over their genitals.. I mean I started going nuts. But I calmed myself down eventually... So I walked, and talked. I listened I laughed. I met many wonderful people who were educated, thoughtful and pleasant who were completely Pro Trump. Everyone was lovely, I had to seriously rethink my ideas about the people who voted for him. The thing that scares me the most now is that now that I'm back in NYC I'm unable to tell who the snakes in the grass are. A even worse, most of them are pretty likable!! Worst. The hat was exceptionally useful, like a sneech with a star upon thars, I felt safer knowing who went into what bracket. Pink Pussy hat = friend, Red Trump hat = enemy. Life was so simple and organized that weekend. Good vs. Evil. Left or right. This is what fucked me up about the election in the first place is that I had been living in a echo chamber of my own creation, full of like minded humans whose brains had evolved past 1952 and who shared similar world views to me about seemingly basic human rights, abortion, education, separation of church and state, the environment, immigration, refugees etc....and while I thought the rest of the country had been advancing in a similar fashion, it turns out that the deep amounts of sadness, hate, frustration, fake news and lack of upward mobility has seemingly turned the judgement of people who normally I'm sure, are lovely kind warm hearted people into xenophobic wall loving trumpeters. So here we are. We are one country. We are full gorgeous colored humans who came here with all their flavors, dance moves, work ethic, and individual style all adding to the big beautiful crucible that is this big weird fucked up country. We all have to get along somehow. I will say this however, trump folk, you've got four years, 1300 days.... In that time, me and a vast army of kevlar coated pussies are going to be plotting, planning, scheming and dreaming about how to neutralize your hate and banish the patriarchy, because the time for Testosterone is OVER. Millions of galvanized women from all over this great land are organizing and they won't listen to this "Locker Room Talk," anymore. FUCK THAT.

There is Hope - But Not For U.S Nov 13, 2016

Show notes

I keep waking up in the morning and for a brief second everything is fine, the sun has risen the day has begun, and then I REMEMBER. I don't even have words. The only thing i can do is record peoples stories and fears and hopes and pray to gods i don't believe in that everything is going to be ok. I can't sleep. WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

You Can't Always Get What You Want: Election Day 2016 Nov 09, 2016

Show notes

I have a giant black hole growing inside my body and this election has helped it zero percent. No matter what happens, we are divided, the scum of the dark recesses from all over this great nation have crawled out of their bomb shelters holding their semi automatic riffles, embolden by the joker smile of an Orwellian megalomaniac who has allowed bigotry, xenophobia and racism to squirm out of the rug it's been hiding under and we are left holding our dicks in our hands looking like the biggest fucking joke country of all time. It's embarrassing. The time is now, there is no choice but to start to heal ourselves and then our immediate communities with unending amounts of pure love and hope that we can band together once again and try to fix this bleeding broken country. Good luck tonight. May the best woman win.

Bridget The Midget Oct 28, 2016

Show notes

I was alone day 5 at the burn, walking around looking for trouble and as always, trouble found me. In the form of a wonderfully tweaktastic pro burner who was actively trying to vacuum up playa dust into a vintage Hoover I'm pretty sure Mr. Belvadere owned. It looked simply kooky. It's always these kind of small moments of improv comedy, that bring me back to that insane asylum every year despite my better judgement. His bag would get full every other minute, he would then empty it into a large garbage can and kept plugging away at the worlds most useless task. Looking at him I literally thought perhaps he had been cursed by the Greek Gods, and had been sent to clean the unclean able forever. #Purgatory Anyhow he was a swell firecracker full of stories and laughter and I loved him. Don't forget kids, it's almost my favorite weekend of the year. Zoe's rules for Halloween: 1. Always take candy from strangers 2. Say Yes. 3. Sleep is for quitters. 4. Safety Last HAVE FUN KIDDIES!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE Music: Phantogram: You Don't Get Me High Anymore

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

You’re Welcome w/ Zoe Nightingale

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected