What If Marvel was Real?

Latest Episodes:

Episode 47: Hulk Beats Metal (Incredible Hulk #6) -- Mar 1963 Jul 07, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed talk about yet ANOTHER alien invasion. Are superheroes rotating responsibility? And are we numb to these these existential threats?

In this issue:

The Metal Master announces his arrival on Earth by melting metal and explaining how he has come from the planet Astra, many galaxies away. He demands that humanity surrender their planet to him. The US military does not take this threat lying down, and (ineffectively) fight back. The Hulk takes the Metal Master on and finds himself outmatched. He is knocked out, and taken prisoner thereafter by the US military. The Hulk eventually escapes, and with the help of a bunch of teenagers, fools the Metal Master into thinking that his powers have no effect on the Hulk’s weapons (he pretended to have metal weapons and this somehow fooled an alien who had the ability to travel across many galaxies). The Metal Master leaves Earth, in shame.

Assumed before the next episode:

People are wondering whether they should be worried about alien invasions.

This episode takes place:

After the Hulk has repelled the alien invader, the Metal Master.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 46: Superhero labor laws? (Strange Tales #106) -- Mar 1963 Jul 05, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss Johnny Storm’s first solo press conference, and how Reed Richards is running the Fantastic Four’s finances. How are governments paying the Four, and why isn’t Johnny being compensated for his labor?

In this issue:

Johnny Storm is practicing his torching skills outside of the town of Glenville. He returns home from practice to see that Carl Zante, the self-described world’s greatest acrobat, is keen to join forces with Johnny as a crime fighting duo “the Torrid Twosome”, promising fame and fortune to the young superhero. Johnny, who does not seem to be making any money from his time with the Fantastic Four, mulls over Carl’s offer. Johnny then quits the Fantastic Four, sews himself a new costume, and joins up with Carl. Their first mission is to rescue a teller at the Glenville bank who is locked in a vault. Johnny burns through the vault, whereupon he is betrayed by Carl, who douses him with liquid asbestos. Fortunately for Johnny, Carl’s gun jams before he can execute the young hero. Johnny’s former Fantastic Four teammates then show up and put Carl in his place, giving Johnny the opportunity to capture Carl himself. Johnny then rejoins the Fantastic Four with a new appreciation for his teammates.

Assumed before the next episode:

The gossip columns are full of speculation about the Fantastic Four and whether they will continue as a team.

This episode takes place:

After Carl Zante has been arrested for his crimes.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 45: Punch the Bully in the Nose (Journey Into Mystery #90) -- Mar 1963 Jul 02, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss the third attempted large scale alien invasion in as many weeks. These aliens seem as powerful as the Impossible Man, but there were a lot more of them in this invasion. They debate whether Thor was only involved because he was acting at Donald Blake’s bodyguard, and whether any of these shape-changing aliens are still among us.

In this issue:

Aliens from the planet Xarta decide to travel from another galaxy to invade the Earth for some reason. The Xartans can change their shape to impersonate others, and they use these abilities to replace various highly placed people in New York City and have them act erratically, thereby throwing the city into chaos. Thor notices that people are acting strangely and decides to investigate. He finds a Xartan ship, and he is then separated from his hammer for more than 60 seconds, which causes him to revert to his Donald Blake form. Thor, as Blake, is captured by the Xartans, who explain their invasion plan to him. First, they cause chaos through a complicated body snatching plan; and second, they invade with their space ships. The Xartans are tricked by Blake into letting him secretly turn into Thor, who then battles the two leading Xartans and defeats them, which leads to the mighty Xartan fleet hovering above Earth’s atmosphere to leave. Thor then commands the remaining four Xartans from the landing party to turn into trees, condemning them to long, dull lives as non-sentient plants.

Assumed before the next episode:

The world has learned of this latest alien invasion and are left to wonder why the Xartans didn’t just invade with their superior galaxy-hopping technology.

This episode takes place:

After the failed Xartan invasion.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 44: Inter-dimensionality (Tales to Astonish #41) -- Mar 1963 Jun 30, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss the definition of an alien invasion - does an attack from another dimension count? They also explore the limits of Ant-Man’s powers (Can he control wasps? How about polar bears?), and why he was involved in the inter-dimensional scientific kidnapping.

In this issue:

Henry Pym drops by his friend Paul’s place, but the door is locked. And so he shrinks to the size of an ant, breaks in, and confirms that Paul is indeed not home. The news that evening carries the story that another eminent scientist has disappeared, to the bewilderment of the authorities. Pym decides to investigate, as Ant-Man. Before he can do that, he is ambushed and kidnapped. Which makes sense, given that Henry Pym is an eminent scientist. Pym’s kidnapper takes him to another dimension ruled by the tyrant Kulla, who has been kidnapping Earth’s best scientists so that they can build a death ray for them. (Note: If they can master inter-dimensional travel, why do they need help with a death ray? A question for another time.) Pym changes into his Ant-Man costume and shrinks down, whereupon he finds out that he can control the minds of inter-dimensional insects, whom he . That’s handy, as he figures out how to defeat Kulla with the help of these insects . Pym and the other scientists then return home.

Assumed before the next episode:

The public is wrestling with the notion of inter-dimensional travel and the threat it may pose.

This episode takes place:

After Henry Pym and his fellow eminent scientists return from Kulla’s dimension.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 43: Impossible Man invades the Earth and leaves after not living up to his name (Fantastic Four #11, Part 2) -- Feb 1963 Jun 28, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss the attempted invasion by the Impossible Man. As bad as it was, how much worse would it be if a full army of these incredibly powerful aliens arrived? Should we be creating a global defense shield against future alien attacks?

In this issue:

In today’s meta-news, this comic book opens with the Fantastic Four walking by a newsstand as excited men, women, and children clamber to buy the latest Fantastic Four comic book. They briefly interact with their fans before returning home to the Baxter Building, whereupon Reed and Ben recount their friendship over the years. They recount their fateful rocket ship adventure which led to them, as well as Sue and Johnny Storm, flying through a cosmic storm and transforming into super-powered adventurers.

The story continues with the introduction of the Impossible Man from the planet Poppup. He arrives on Earth and demonstrates his amazing powers to turn into anything he wants, with impish glee. The Fantastic Four are called into service by the police to deal with the childish menace posed by the Impossible Man. They find that they cannot defeat them head on, which leads to Reed telling the world to just ignore him so that he will go away, which he does.

Assumed before the next episode:

The world is united, briefly, in joy and satisfaction over their repulsion of the Impossible Man by treating him as an unruly infant.

This episode takes place:

After Reed Richards has recounted their origin story, and also after their adventure with the Impossible Man.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 42: Confessions of a Stretching Man; Or, the Ever-Changing Origin Story of the Fantastic Four (Fantastic Four #11, Part 1) -- Feb 1963 Jun 25, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss the latest “full disclosure” Reed Richards press conference. Now that we know their powers came from a cosmic storm rather than just a trip into space, do we need to invest in space meteorologists?

In this issue:

The story continues with the introduction of the Impossible Man from the planet Poppup. He arrives on Earth and demonstrates his amazing powers to turn into anything he wants, with impish glee. The Fantastic Four are called into service by the police to deal with the childish menace posed by the Impossible Man. They find that they cannot defeat them head on,which leads to Reed telling the world to just ignore him so that he will go away, which he does.

Assumed before the next episode:

The world is left wondering why the Fantastic Four’s origin story keeps changing, and whether this means that whatever else they are being told about them and their adventures are true, embellished, or something worse.

This episode takes place:

After Reed Richards has recounted their origin story, and also after their adventure with the Impossible Man.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 41: Prison Break, again (Strange Tales #105) -- February 1963 Jun 23, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss the return of the Wizard. Why was he allowed access to powerful chemicals while in jail? Do we need special prisons for this new breed of criminal? Also, should we reevaluate our views on the psychological effects of superpowers on humanity?

In this issue:

The Wizard is the model prisoner. Or at least that’s what he gets the warden to think, leading to the Wizard escaping prison. He then challenges the Human Torch to another battle. The Torch obliges, and ends up defeated by the Wizard. The Torch’s sister Sue Storm, the Invisible Girl, is captured as well. The Torch and the Invisible Girl work together and defeat the Wizard.

The Wizard needs to work on his self-esteem and stop challenging teenagers.

Assumed before the next episode:

People are starting to wonder what they ever saw in the Wizard in the first place.

This episode takes place:

After the Torch and the Invisible Girl have been defeated by, and then defeat, the Wizard.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 40: My Bodyguard, Thor (Journey Into Mystery #89) -- February 1963 Jun 21, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss how Thor may be acting as a “bodyguard” for important American scientists such as Dr. Donald Blake. Also, has Ant-Man not done as good a job as we have been told about eliminating the NYC mafia?

In this issue:

Thor recounts his own origin story to himself, while Jane Foster fantasizes about dating Thor. Meanwhile, a mob leader is freed by his gang before he can be taken to prison. He is shot while escaping, and his gang takes him to Dr. Donald Blake’s office for treatment under the radar. Blake saves the mobster and is about to be executed by the gang, but before that can happen, he transforms into Thor and takes the gangsters down.

Assumed before the next episode:

People are starting to notice that Thor is connected with mild-mannered Dr. Donald Blake.

This episode takes place:

After the mob leader Thug Thatcher has imperiled the life of Dr. Blake and been laid low by the might of Thor.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 39: Hijacking Ho Hum (Tales to Astonish #40) -- February 1963 Jun 18, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss how news that would have been mindblowing a year ago has now moved to the “back pages” of the newspapers. Mike also argues that Ant-Man is not using his talents to their full potential, whereas Ed disagrees. Where do you stand?

In this issue:

The owner of Mitchell Armored Truck Co., Howard Mitchell, complains to the police about a series of hijackings of his vehicles. Fortunately for him, Ant-Man has been spying on the entire city through his network of ants, and through this network, he overhears Mitchell wishing he could get in touch with Ant-Man. And so Ant-Man literally catapults across the city towards Mitchell’s office and offers his services. Ant-Man sets up a fake hijacking, but before the sting operation is set, he leaves due to a medical emergency. Mitchell’s truck is hijacked by a mysterious masked man. Ant-Man then springs into action - he had faked his medical emergency and tagged along in the truck - and battles the hijacker, ultimately defeating him. The hijacker is unmasked, and it is none other than Mitchell, who was running what must have been a convoluted insurance scheme.

Assumed before the next episode:

People are seriously wondering whether it is a good idea to live under the constant surveillance of a person known only as Ant-Man.

This episode takes place:

After the hijacker is caught by Ant-Man.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Episode 38: Dr. Doom returns, again, and disappears, again. And will someone give the FF a pager? (Fantastic Four #10) -- January 1963 Jun 16, 2021

Show notes

In this episode:

Mike and Ed discuss why the the Fantastic Four insist on using a flare gun instead of a pager, the (claimed) return of Dr. Doom, and why all of the team’s battles seem to happen where no one can see them (like, are they really happening?)

In this issue:

The Thing uses the Fantastic Four’s emergency flare to summon his teammates to his girlfriend’s apartment for no particular reason at all. He should have used the telephone. In any event, at the same time, Dr. Doom visits Marvel comics and demands that Stan Lee call Mr. Fantastic under false pretenses to lure him into a trap. Once Mr. Fantastic arrives, Dr. Doom overpowers him and spirits him away. He then explains how he survived being shot into space, before trading minds with him. Having transferred his brain into Mr. Fantastic’s body, Dr. Doom infiltrates the team and has them capture “Dr. Doom” (Mr. Fantastic in Dr. Doom’s body. The team does not catch on that one of their best friends has been replaced by a megalomaniacal despot. They eventually catch on and help “Dr. Doom” defeat “Mr. Fantastic”, and arrange for them to trade bodies back. Dr. Doom, now back in his body, accidentally shrinks himself with a reducing ray to nothingness.

Assumed before the next episode:

People are wondering why the Fantastic Four are not using pagers rather than flares in the sky, and how Mr. Fantastic can invent a flying car but cannot figure out how to use a telephone.

This episode takes place:

After Dr. Doom’s brief return to Earth.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.superserious616.com

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected