Therapy Works

Latest Episodes:

Agony Aunties: Mastering boundaries Jan 26, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Agony Aunties, the trio delves into the intricate realm of boundaries, addressing the following listener question:

"This new stance of boundaries that have taken hold on social media. I'm in my 60s and my initial thought is that boundaries prevent mending, being vulnerable, listening and can be misused. Of course, natural normal boundaries are needed when one is suffering abuse. My instinct tells me people can use putting up boundaries as an excuse not to hear what others think and feel."

Emily acknowledges concerns around the potential misuse of therapy language and defends the enduring value of boundaries. Sophie reframes boundaries as tools for safety, self-worth, and the ability to adapt based on perceived threats. Julia emphasises the transformative power of boundaries as a form of self-care, offering clear guidelines adaptable across diverse relationships and contexts. Together, they explore the delicate balance of setting boundaries to enhance well-being and nurture richer connections. Join Agony Aunties as they navigate life's challenges with wisdom and compassion.

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Agony Aunties: Sibling struggles Jan 19, 2024

Show notes

The Agony Aunties are back with a heartfelt episode delving into the complex world of sibling relationships.

Question 1: Dealing with an Estranged Sibling:

"How to deal with an estranged sibling who knows me and wants no contact?"

The Agony Aunties dive into the delicate realm of estrangement, exploring the often unspoken feelings of shame and guilt experienced by those with distant siblings. They share insights on the importance of self-reflection, the potential for reconnection, and the empowerment that comes with keeping the possibility of a future relationship open.

Question 2: Sibling Scapegoating and Pain:

"My brother scapegoats me and causes me pain. Should I move away?"

In response to a listener grappling with a sibling's harmful behaviour, the Agony Aunties explore the concept of being a scapegoat and the toll it takes on one's well-being. They offer guidance on stepping out of this role, establishing healthy boundaries, and discuss the liberating power of finding one's voice.

The Agony Aunties leave listeners with actionable advice and a reminder that, even in the complexities of family dynamics, personal growth and healing are possible.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self.

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Agony Aunties: Navigating divorce and affairs Jan 12, 2024

Show notes

Join Julia, Emily, and Sophie as they delve deep into the complexities of relationships, focusing on the intricate web of divorce and affairs. With compassionate hearts and keen insights, our Agony Aunties are here to offer guidance and support.

The Agony Aunties answer the following questions:

"My three kids are 19, 17 and 13 and they regularly ask their dad had an affair. The affair woman is now his wife and their stepmother."

"My husband had an affair and he's left the family home. We have two young children. Can you give me tips to build my strength?"

"I'm weathering divorce and an ex who moved on immediately. How do I rebuild my self-esteem?"

As the episode concludes, Julia, Emily, and Sophie reiterate the importance of self-love, open communication, and seeking support during tumultuous times.

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BONUS: How do I know when it's time to end therapy? Jan 05, 2024

Show notes

In this special bonus episode of Therapy Works, we tackle a critical question many individuals grapple with: "How do I know when it's time to end therapy?". We navigate the complexities of concluding a therapeutic journey, discussing the nuanced factors that contribute to recognising the right time for transition. We explore scenarios where individuals may feel they've achieved specific goals or addressed particular challenges, as well as moments when unexpected issues arise, prompting a desire for continued therapeutic support. We emphasise the significance of mutual recognition between therapist and client, discussing the gradual reduction of sessions and the importance of fostering open communication throughout this process.

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BONUS: How can therapy help me? Dec 29, 2023

Show notes

In this special bonus episode of Therapy Works, we demystify the question, "How can therapy help me?". We underscore that therapy isn't a magic wand but a transformative journey that offers a confidential space to explore patterns, relationships, and life's complexities. Whether navigating destructive relationship patterns or monumental life events, therapy serves as a unique relationship characterised by empathy, trust, and confidentiality.

Highlighting the multifaceted benefits of therapy, we discuss its relevance across different stages of life and emphasise its distinct role in providing personalised support.

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BONUS: A guide to navigating Christmas Dec 22, 2023

Show notes

In this special bonus episode, Julia and Emily offer listeners insightful strategies for navigating the complexities of Christmas. The discussion covers a range of topics, including gracefully handling awkward questions from family members, embracing the experience of spending Christmas alone, and managing the overwhelming pressures that often accompany this festive period. Julia and Emily provide practical advice on setting boundaries, fostering self-care, and cultivating meaningful connections, whether with family or within oneself. Additionally, the episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing and appreciating peaceful moments amidst the holiday chaos.

This episode aims to empower listeners with the tools and understanding needed to navigate the emotional landscape of the festive season, fostering resilience and well-being in the midst of family gatherings, solitude, and societal pressures.

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Alain de Botton’s insights on psychotherapy, love and navigating Christmas Dec 20, 2023

Show notes

To mark the end of a wonderful series, I am joined by the insightful Alain de Botton, an author, respected philosopher and founder of The School of Life. Get ready for a journey through the history of psychotherapy, the nuances of the true and false self, and the power of the inner child.

In this episode, we discuss:

The Gift of the Modern Age: Unveiling the History of Psychotherapy

We explore the evolution of psychotherapy as a novel concept in the modern age, delving into its transformative power as both an idea and a treatment.

The Annoying Power of the Inner Child

We unpack the concept of the inner child and its significant influence on adult behaviour, and our desire for 'the tender heart of a small child and the wisdom of an old man.'

Navigating the Layers of Identity

We engage in a thoughtful discussion on the duality of the true and false self, examining the impact of understanding these layers on personal growth and authenticity.

The Senses as Gateways to Emotion: Art as the Conduit to Self

We explore how the senses shape emotions, both positively and negatively, uncovering the profound connection between art and the journey of self-discovery.

A Unique Perspective on Breakdowns

Gain insights into the concept of 'mental reversals' and their influence on mental health, receiving original perspectives on coping with breakdowns and the potential benefits they might offer.

Love and Self-Sabotage

We delve into the complexities of love and the common tendency to sabotage our deepest desires, exploring strategies to overcome self-destructive patterns when it comes to love.

Navigating the Challenges of Christmas

Alain ends the conversation with practical perspectives on navigating the challenges presented by the festive season.

Bamford are inviting listeners of the podcast an exclusive 15% off all spa bookings until the end of December. To book your treatment at their wellness spas in London or the Cotswolds phone quoting ‘THERAPY WORKS’ to receive your exclusive discount or online at bamford.com. The code THERAPYWORKS is valid on all spa bookings.

Find Alain:

Website: https://www.alaindebotton.com/

Buy Alain's new book, A Therapeutic Journey: Lessons from the School of Life: https://amzn.eu/d/8bfHmqB

The School of Life: https://www.theschooloflife.com/

Find Julia:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gabby Logan on her strength beyond sports Dec 13, 2023

Show notes

Today's guest is the remarkable Gabby Logan, a prominent sports and radio presenter with a wealth of experience. In this insightful conversation, Gabby brings forth her intelligence, empathy, and articulate perspectives as we explore the powerful intersection of sports, strength, and life.

In the episode, we discuss:

Physical and Mental Strength: Discover the profound link between physical and mental strength as Gabby reflects on her journey in sports. Learn how the lessons of discomfort, growth, and stepping out of the comfort zone in sports translate into valuable life skills.

Discipline, Endurance, and Commitment: Uncover the tools of discipline, endurance, practice, and commitment cultivated through sports, which have been pivotal in guiding Gabby through life's challenges.

Grief and Transformation: Delve into the profound impact of the tragic death of Gabby's brother Daniel, exploring how such significant loss shapes one's personal and professional life. Understand the transformative journey of grief and personal growth.

Generational Perspectives on Trauma: Explore the generational differences in responding to trauma, acknowledging the limitations faced by Gabby's father in accessing therapy and the evolving dynamics of seeking support.

Marriage and Love as a Practice: Gain insights into the complexities of marriage as Gabby emphasises the importance of choosing to love and the ongoing practice of honesty within relationships.

Humour and Lightness: Despite the serious themes, experience moments of humour and lightness in this conversation that touch the heart and leave a lasting impact.

Tune in for a compelling episode that navigates the intricacies of life, resilience, and the transformative power of strength with Gabby Logan.

Find Gabby:

Website: https://www.gabbylogan.com/

Instagram: @gabbylogan

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-mid-point-with-gabby-logan/id1527545442

Find Julia:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lesley on the impact of unearthing family secrets Dec 06, 2023

Show notes

In this riveting episode, Lesley takes us on a profound journey into the unexpected consequences of contemporary DNA tests. What's marketed as a tool to uncover "ancestry, traits, and health" for informed health decisions can, in reality, deliver life-altering bombshells.

Lesley's experience began innocently enough with a DNA test given to her on her birthday. Little did she know, this seemingly fun present would shatter her sense of self and family. The revelation that her father wasn't her biological dad sent shockwaves through her life.

Key Discussion Points:

Impact of How Bad News is Delivered: Lesley shares insights into how the delivery of life-altering news can exacerbate its emotional impact.

Secrets in Families: The complexities surrounding family secrets and the turbulence that arises when these secrets are unveiled.

Reconfiguring Identity: The emotional journey of reconfiguring one's sense of self when faced with the revelation that a parent is not biological.

Managing Unanswered Questions: Strategies for navigating the challenges of unanswered questions that emerge from these revelations.

Navigating the Search for "New" Family: The emotional rollercoaster of seeking and meeting newfound family members, from the underwhelming to the overwhelming.

Nature vs. Nurture Dance: An exploration of how our family experiences, both biological and chosen, shape our identities.

Supportive Communities: Lesley highlights the supportive power of podcasts and Facebook communities in connecting with others who share similar experiences.

Lesley's honesty, warmth, and openness make this episode a compelling exploration of family, change, identity, and love.

Additional links:

Books:

Uprooted by Peter J. Boni (he was donor conceived in the 1950s and it includes his memoir and some history regarding artificial insemination).
Inheritance by Dani Shapiro
What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg

Facebook groups:

We Are Donor Conceived
DNA Surprises support group
NPE Only: After the Discovery

Podcasts to listen to:

Find Julia:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lorraine Candy on unravelling, menopause, and the power of identity Nov 29, 2023

Show notes

In this insightful episode, I sit down with Lorraine Candy, former Editor of Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Style Magazine, who has spent her career thinking about, writing about, and interviewing women. Despite external markers of success, including a successful career, a husband, and four children, Lorraine candidly shares her journey, revealing that life isn't always as sussed as it seems.

Key Discussion Points:

The Unravelling in Mid-Life: Lorraine opens up about the shaming and frightening experience of unravelling in mid-life, challenging the assumptions tied to external success.

Navigating Menopause: The episode delves into the often misunderstood and myth-laden topic of menopause. Lorraine sheds light on the importance of accurate information about Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and the alarming statistics linking hormone imbalances to mental health challenges, including suicide.

Identity at the Heart of Change: Explore the core principles of identity and how understanding ourselves plays a crucial role in navigating change, particularly for Lorraine as a parent.

Adaptability and Change: The conversation emphasizes the importance of embracing adaptability and change in all aspects of our identities, with a spotlight on Lorraine's experiences as a parent.

Slowing Down and Making Space: Discover the significance of slowing down, learning to say no, and creating space for curiosity—a concept referred to as 'a fertile void.' Lorraine advocates for making space to explore new possibilities in our lives.

The Role of Humor and Friendship: Lorraine highlights the importance of humor and the support of friends in maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

Routes to Safety and Connection: Learn about personal routes to a sense of safety and feeling at home in our bodies. This can include activities such as cold water swimming, reading, dancing, and embracing the power of human connection through hugs.

Tune in as Lorraine Candy shares her wisdom on navigating life's complexities, challenging societal expectations, and finding true well-being from within.

Find Lorraine:

Book: https://amzn.eu/d/jbDQUUx

Instagram: @lorrainecandy

Podcast: https://play.acast.com/s/postcardsfrommidlife

Find Julia:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.