Therapy Works

Latest Episodes:

Tom Shakespeare on shattering stereotypes and redefining disability Mar 06, 2024

Show notes

In this insightful episode, I speak with Professor Tom Shakespeare, a distinguished figure in the fields of disability research and bioethics. Their conversation delves into the profound aspects of disability, societal perceptions, and the intrinsic value of diversity and acceptance in human connections. Tom, with his rich background and personal experiences, offers a unique perspective on living with disability and the universal challenges of human existence.

Key Points Discussed:

The Finite Nature of Life: Tom discusses the challenge of balancing a desire to achieve against the finite nature of life, highlighting the constant struggle to meet demands within limited time and the personal incidents that bring this reality into focus.

Disability and Society: The dialogue explores the deep-rooted societal prejudices towards disability, emphasising the need for a shift in perception to recognise the common humanity and vulnerabilities shared by all, regardless of physical or mental differences.

Embracing Limitations: We discuss the importance of acknowledging and embracing human limitations, framing disability within a broader context of human fragility and the societal barriers that exacerbate these challenges.

The Power of Rest and Laughter: Tom shares personal strategies for managing life's pressures and pains, such as the rejuvenating power of napping and the therapeutic value of humour in facing adversity and fostering connection.

This episode is a testament to the resilience, diversity, and unity of the human spirit. Tom's narrative is a reminder that our shared vulnerabilities and limitations are not weaknesses but are essential to our collective identity and humanity. It encourages us to embrace diversity, practice acceptance, and find joy and meaning in our shared human experience.

Find Tom Shakespeare:

https://farmerofthoughts.co.uk/biography/

Find Julia Samuel:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

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Agony Aunties: Only children and teen friendships Mar 01, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Emily and Sophie share insightful perspectives on the topic of "only children." Julia critiques the term itself, emphasising that it carries a derivative implication, suggesting that an only child is somehow insufficient. Emily adds that regardless of family configuration, there are both pros and cons, and having just one child can offer unique benefits, allowing the child to receive undivided attention and care. The conversation touches on the complexities of family structures and challenges the notion that only children face disadvantages.

The discussion then shifts to supporting a teenager on the edge of friendship groups. Emily points out the natural fluctuations in teenage friendships and acknowledges the pain parents feel when they can't easily intervene. Sophie contributes from her own experience, urging parents to reflect on their own past and potential projections onto their children. The importance of understanding the difference between the parent's and the child's experiences is highlighted, emphasising open communication and shared vulnerability in navigating teenage friendships.

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Henrietta Copeland on the silent grief of childlessness Feb 28, 2024

Show notes

In this emotionally charged episode, Henrietta opens up about her journey through permanent childlessness and shares the complexities of her grief. Henrietta describes how there isn't a singular reason for her childlessness – not meeting the right partner and the element of luck being 50% out of her control. She recalls making a promise to herself, keeping the door half-shut, and the heartbreak that then followed.

Key Points Discussed:

Confronting Sadness:

Exploring the depths of her grief, Henrietta opens up about the sadness that accompanies the longing for children never conceived. The challenges of feeling alienated and misunderstood during the second year of her journey come to the forefront.

Disenfranchised Grief:

Henrietta sheds light on the disenfranchised grief experienced by childless individuals, where the loss remains invisible and delegitimized. She addresses the staggering statistic that one in five people faces this unacknowledged sorrow.

Creating a Supportive Tribe:

Discovering solace in a newfound community, Henrietta emphasises the significance of creating spaces for childless women to openly discuss their pain. She underscores the power of validation and the healing that can occur when individuals facing similar struggles come together.

Existential Anguish:

Henrietta bares her soul, sharing moments of anger and betrayal intertwined with the existential loneliness that accompanies childlessness. She articulates the ongoing struggle of holding onto the idea of having her own child.

This episode serves as a powerful testament to the often silent grief of permanent childlessness. It provides a compassionate space for validation and understanding. Henrietta's story unfolds as a narrative of resilience and strength in the face of unseen struggles.

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Agony Aunties: The complexities of parenting adult children Feb 23, 2024

Show notes

In this episode, a listener seeks advice on parenting adult children. The Agony Aunties encourage active listening, allowing for diverse perspectives without necessarily agreeing. They suggest using feedback formats, like expressing what one hears, sees, feels, and relates, to avoid judgement. The conversation explores the importance of compromise, acknowledging emotional subtext in disagreements, and understanding the generational shift in parenting dynamics.

They emphasise the evolving nature of the parent-adult child relationship, acknowledging the dance between letting go and remaining close. They reflect on the challenge of finding a balance between abandonment and enmeshment, offering insights into the worry that comes with children growing into adulthood. The episode concludes with wisdom on processing loss, accepting the evolving roles, and trusting adult children to navigate their lives while providing a supportive presence. If you're navigating the complexities of parenting adult children, this episode offers thoughtful guidance and relatable perspectives.

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Annabel Croft on navigating the shock of a sudden diagnosis Feb 21, 2024

Show notes

In today's deeply moving conversation, I am honoured to be joined by the incredible Annabel Croft. Annabel graciously shares her poignant journey through the rapid and tragic loss of her husband to cancer. We delve into the realms of loss, love, and the indomitable spirit of hope that persists in the face of grief.

In this episode, we discuss:

Sudden Diagnosis and Profound Journey: Annabel recounts the shocking moment they learned of her husband's terminal diagnosis, marking the beginning of a profound journey through grief and acceptance. She discusses the brutal reality of receiving such news, the swift progression of her husband's illness, and the emotional turmoil that ensued for her and her family.

Brutal Delivery of News: We explore the brutal way in which healthcare practitioners handled their situation, making what's already devastating worse. We reflect on the lasting impact it has on individuals and families facing terminal illnesses.

Strength in Vulnerability: Annabel's courage to be vulnerably open, allowing her emotions to be seen and felt, offers a beacon of understanding for anyone navigating the turbulent waters of loss.

Therapeutic Power of Dance and Hope: The conversation highlights the importance of hope, the therapeutic power of dance in Annabel's life, and the significance of finding joy and meaning despite the presence of grief.

Annabel's Reflections: Reflecting on her experience, Annabel's story serves as a testament to the strength found in vulnerability and the resilience of the human spirit. Though uniquely hers, it echoes universal truths of love's depth, the pain of loss, and the enduring quest for solace and understanding.

As we share in Annabel's journey, let us remember the capacity of the human heart to heal, to find light amidst darkness, and to continue loving in the memory of those we've lost.

Annabel expresses her desire to support the work of a brilliant scientist, Isabella Cooper. For those interested, you can read more about Isabelle's work here: https://www.foreveryounggroup.com/about-us

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Agony Aunties: Love, trust and navigating the rollercoaster Feb 16, 2024

Show notes

In this special episode of our Agony Aunties mini series, our wise trio – Emily, Sophie, and Julia – dive deep into the intricacies of love and relationships. The first question addresses the delicate balance of approaching a new relationship with both excitement and caution. Emily's candid response reminds us that every relationship comes with its share of risks, emphasising that the beauty of love lies in its unpredictability. She encourages embracing the vulnerability that comes with love rather than succumbing to the fear of potential hurt.

Moving on to the challenge of maintaining the spark in long-term relationships, Sophie shares invaluable insights. Recognising the monotony that can set in, she suggests cultivating personal sources of joy and excitement. Whether it's engaging in a dance class or enjoying time with friends, maintaining an individual sense of fun and spontaneity can breathe life back into the relationship. The trio concludes with Julia addressing the difficult subject of grief around Valentine's Day. She emphasises the importance of acknowledging the pain, legitimising emotions, and seeking support, offering a compassionate approach for those navigating the complexities of love and loss. Tune in for a heartfelt episode filled with wisdom, laughter, and guidance on matters of the heart.

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Josiah Hartley on depression as an illness and not a personal failure Feb 14, 2024

Show notes

In today's conversation, I am joined by Josiah Hartley, who generously shares the complexities of his struggle with depression, emphasising the pivotal importance of early recognition of signs and the transformative power of self-kindness and professional support. His story serves as a testament to vulnerability, resilience, and the gradual path to recovery, offering valuable insights for both individuals facing similar challenges and parents seeking to connect with their children going through depression or having suicidal thoughts.

Key Discussion Points:

Understanding Depression: Delving into the subtle onset of depression, Josiah recounts the critical moment when he shifted his perspective, recognising depression as a mental illness rather than a personal failure. This realisation became a turning point, steering him towards the path of recovery.

The Role of Support: Josiah highlights the pivotal role of a trusted psychiatrist who guided him through the complexities of treatment, underscoring the transformative potential of compassionate professional care. This discussion emphasises the need for empathy in healthcare interactions and the profound impact it can have on a patient's journey.

Daily Self-Care and Mindfulness: Emphasising the significance of self-care and mindfulness practices, Josiah shares how simple acts of kindness towards oneself played a foundational role in his healing process. From daily routines to mindful practices, these small but impactful steps collectively contributed to a profound improvement in his mental health.

This episode stands as a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the importance of seeking help, and the possibility of leading a fulfilling life despite the challenges posed by mental illness.

Read Josiah's book: https://amzn.eu/d/3O6nFAf

For those seeking additional support, please see the below resources that were mentioned in the episode:

Emily mentioned a PDF on DBT which you can view here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xR9c-LW8gK5RqJ-Src611kheCT-jNWky/view

Charlie Waller Trust - https://www.charliewaller.org/

Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/

Campaign Against Living Miserably - https://www.thecalmzone.net/

A big thank you to our sponsor Brora who are offering Therapy Works listeners a fabulous 10% off on full-price pieces. Head to their website broraonline.com and use the code TW10 at checkout before the end of April.

Find Julia Samuel:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Agony Aunties: Grief in relationships Feb 09, 2024

Show notes

In this heartfelt episode of Agony Aunties, the team addresses a poignant question from a listener who has recently lost their mother, with the added complication of a sister attempting to take control. Sophie sensitively navigates the complexities of grief, highlighting the common occurrence of competition among siblings when parents pass away. She delves into the intricacies of such dynamics, where the struggle for control often becomes a representation of love and value in the eyes of the departed parent. Julia adds a valuable perspective, emphasising the importance of surrendering the need for control and focusing on validating the significant relationship with the mother. The Agony Aunties also explore the grieving process in a difficult relationship, addressing a listener's question on how to honestly grieve its loss. Emily provides insights on allowing oneself to feel the range of emotions and the significance of being honest about the complexities of the relationship. Tune in for compassionate advice on navigating familial dynamics, grief, and the journey towards emotional honesty.

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Julia Bradbury on overcoming challenges with positivity and purpose Feb 07, 2024

Show notes

To kick off Season 5, I am joined by Julia Bradbury, a best-selling author, TV presenter, and ardent advocate for nature, health, and hiking. Renowned for her passion for the outdoors, Julia has embarked on a transformative journey following her cancer diagnosis and surgery, dedicating herself to promoting healthy living and nature therapy. In this episode, Julia shares her inspiring story, emphasising the importance of investigating our default responses to adversity and finding purpose amid life's challenges.

In this episode we discuss:

Emphasising Self-Compassion: Julia Bradbury underscores the importance of avoiding self-blame during challenging times and encourages listeners to explore their default responses to adversity.

Navigating Medical Challenges: The episode delves into Julia Bradbury's journey with breast cancer and the emotional toll of a rigorous biopsy, shedding light on the intricacies of her medical experiences.

Tarot Wisdom: She touches on the use of tarot cards, delving into their symbolism, including the snake representing change and medicine, as part of her exploration of diverse modalities.

Action Over Stagnation: Julia Bradbury advocates for taking action in challenging situations, emphasising that proactive measures propel personal growth rather than becoming stuck.

Purposeful Living Post-Cancer: The cancer journey offers Julia a renewed sense of purpose, paving the way for a life filled with positivity.

In this transformative episode, Julia Bradbury shares her resilient journey, inviting listeners to explore their responses to adversity, navigate medical challenges and ultimately find renewed purpose and balance in the tapestry of life.

Find Julia Bradbury:

Book: Walk Yourself Happy

Instagram: @juliabradbury

Find Julia Samuel:

Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/

Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe

Produced by Rutherford Productions

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Agony Aunties: Dealing with a narcissist Feb 02, 2024

Show notes

In this episode of Agony Aunties, Julia, Sophie, and Emily tackle a poignant question from a listener: How to deal with a narcissistic mother whose behaviour seems to be escalating with age.

The conversation explores the challenge of dealing with someone who lacks insight into how their actions affect others. They discuss the emotional toll this behaviour takes on those in a relationship with a narcissist, highlighting the importance of recognising that the issue lies with the narcissist and not the individual experiencing the effects.

They offer valuable insights on coping strategies for individuals dealing with a narcissistic parent, emphasising the significance of staying calm, taking a step back, and recognising that the behaviour is a reflection of the narcissist rather than a reflection of the individual.

This episode serves as a compassionate and informative guide for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships with narcissistic individuals, offering practical advice and reassurance for those facing the challenges of a narcissistic parent.

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