The Way You Show Up

Latest Episodes:

Overcoming Sex Addiction with Nate Larkin Oct 27, 2020

Show notes

Lust kills love. Porn and sex addiction can wreak havoc in an intimate relationship and it can affect someone personally when they are entrenched in the addiction.
In our culture, it can be easier to chase after lust than to find real love. In this podcast, Nate Larkin shares how he overcame his twenty-year struggle with sexual addiction. Even if you are not struggling with sex addiction, this podcast can help you know how to run free from feelings of guilt and shame.

Today’s Speaker – Nate Larkin
Nate Larkin knows the pressure to live up to a public persona. He knows what it's like to have a secret that can destroy a career. He knows what it's like to quit. And He knows what it's like to find healing, deep friendships, and hope. Nate has a story that unfortunately too many people can relate with.
He was the perfect role model growing up. Everything looked great on the outside. But inside Nate, a battle was raging. He married Allie on his graduation day and soon enrolled in Princeton Theological Seminary. He graduated from Princeton with a major in Preaching and was awarded the Preaching Prize. Within two years, Nate was the senior pastor for a new non-denominational church in South Florida. Observers saw a wise and godly man of God, dedicated to church and home. But Nate’s religious persona was crumbling from the inside out. After just five years in the ministry, Nate made the choice to quit. An obsession had developed into a virulent addiction to pornography and commercial sex. His decision to abandon vocational ministry was driven primarily by private despair about his moral failures and the fear of public exposure.
Eventually, Nate and Allie moved to Franklin, TN. After years of praying, fasting, pleading, and repenting in private, Nate finally found help for his sex addiction—in the form of authentic friendship and the safety of a 12-step recovery group. As he worked through the 12 steps, Nate began to see life differently. Nate finally understood why a 12-step group had accomplished what solitary prayer and fasting could not. God designed the Christian life as a team sport! As he began to live in this new model of Christianity, Nate’s circle of friends expanded to include a large group of men with different weaknesses, addicts and potential addicts of every description, united by a common faith and a need for real companionship.

So in 2004, several of these friends formed a mutual aid society for Christian men called the Samson Society. Within the safety of the Samson Society, honest friendships have taken root and men are finding new power in their faith. Nate, who drafted the Society’s charter and designed its first meeting format, has written a book about his experiences entitled Samson and the Pirate Monks: Calling Men to Authentic Brotherhood, which was published by Thomas Nelson in February 2007. (He is also the author, with Darrell Waltrip, of Sundays Will Never Be the Same).

As of 2012, more than 250 local Samson Society groups are functioning in the United States, and others have started in other countries. A social networking website has been established to connect men who do not have access to a local meeting. Nate loves talking to men about their need for community and how they can overcome struggles together.

Website: www.SamsonSociety.org

You’ll Learn

How to know if you have a sex addiction
The key to overcoming sex addiction
How to help a spouse struggling with sex addiction

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 029: Overcoming Sex Addiction with Nate Larkin

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Thursday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

SMART Communication in Your Relationships: Part 2 Oct 20, 2020

Show notes

There are smart and not so smart ways that you can communicate with the people in your life. Unfortunately, the majority of us end up defaulting to a type of communication style that only causes frustration, anger in relationships, and disillusion. These types of communication do not seek to clearly communicate and listen to identify core issues and move forward in the best way possible.
Instead, learn how to communicate with people in your lives in a smart way. The principles of SMART Communication should be implemented in the important relationships in our lives in order for the best, most efficient communication possible. With SMART Communication, learn how to communicate clearly and effectively while strengthening your relationships. Join me today to learn about part 2 of smart communication.
Today's Speaker: Kimberly Beam Holmes

Kimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master’s degree in psychology for over 10 years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching the ways that attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reaches over 200,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best that they can be.

Website: www.PIESUniversity.com

You’ll Learn

What SMART Communication is
How to have healthy communication in your relationships
How to move past feelings of contempt
Find ways to connect better with people in your life

Ep 028: SMART Communication in Your Relationships: Part 2, with Kimberly Beam Holmes.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

SMART Communication in Your Relationships: Part 1 Oct 13, 2020

Show notes

You have probably seen many people communicate with others in a way that you thought, "Oh my goodness. This is a disaster."
There are smart and not so smart ways that you can communicate with the people in your life. Unfortunately, the majority of us end up defaulting to a type of communication style that only causes frustration, anger in relationships, and disillusion. These types of communication do not seek to clearly communicate and listen to identify core issues and move forward in the best way possible.
Instead, learn how to communicate with people in your lives in a smart way. The principles of SMART Communication should be implemented in the important relationships in our lives in order for the best, most efficient communication possible. With SMART Communication, learn how to communicate clearly and effectively while strengthening your relationships.
Today's Speaker: Kimberly Beam Holmes

Website: www.PIESUniversity.com

You’ll Learn

What SMART Communication is
How to have healthy communication in your relationships
How to move past feelings of contempt
Find ways to connect better with people in your life

Ep 027: SMART Communication in Your Relationships: Part 1, with Kimberly Beam Holmes.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

How to Deal with Frustration Oct 06, 2020

Show notes

Have you ever been frustrated in your life?
Maybe you have felt frustrated on a monthly, weekly, or even daily basis. If you are wondering where these feelings of frustration come from and how to lower your frustration, then this podcast is for you! In today's episode, you will gain an understanding of how to deal with a situation rather than reacting to it.
Today's Speaker: Kimberly Beam Holmes

Website: www.PIESUniversity.com

You’ll Learn

Where frustration comes from
How to lower your frustration
The importance of self-awareness with frustration
How to stop reacting to situations with frustration

Ep 026: How to Deal with Frustration, with Kimberly Beam Holmes.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Signs of Addiction with David Mathews Sep 29, 2020

Show notes

Do you need help dealing with addiction either for yourself or a loved one? If your loved one loved you back, would he or she be able to stop the hurtful behavior? Today’s guest, David Mathews, explains the definition of addiction and talks about several ways addiction affects the brain, explaining how “natural dopamine production in the body is like whispering in your ear. When you have artificial drugs coming in, it’s like someone shouting with a megaphone in your ear.”

David Mathews goes into detail about how some personalities are more susceptible to addiction, how an addict’s brain gets reprogrammed, and what to do when supporting a loved one who suffers from addiction. Mathew’s greatest advice is “There’s always, always, always hope. Until there is no hope”. Don’t miss today’s informative show!

Today’s Speaker – David Mathews

In 2008, David and Debbie Mathews founded Spark of Life, a non-profit organization, following the loss of their grandson. Since then, Spark of Life has conducted over 60 weekend Grief Recovery Workshops, with over 7,000 attending. The organization continues to grow, offering a Grief Recovery Online Course, Grief Coaching with certified Grief Recovery Coaches, and Virtual Grief Recovery Retreats.

David Mathews has been leading the Marriage Helper workshop for over 10 years. He has his Master’s in Addiction Counseling and has worked with people for decades in that area.

David is the author of Why Do You Hurt Me, God?, a book that comes out of working with thousands of people who have asked that question following both death and non-death losses.

Website: sparkoflife.org; Marriage Helper

Instagram: @sparkoflife.org

Facebook: Spark of Life

You’ll Learn

The definition of addiction
Whether an addict can simply stop hurtful behavior without help
The difference between having a problem versus having an addiction
How to support an addict
How an addict’s brain works

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 025: Signs of Addiction with David Mathews

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Getting Past Guilt with Dr. Joe Beam Sep 22, 2020

Show notes

Are you wanting to know how to get past the guilt you are feeling? If you are feeling guilty or know someone who is overwhelmed with guilt, this podcast is for you. In this episode, Dr. Joe Beam breaks down his own story of getting past guilt and shares how to accept forgiveness.
Dr. Joe Beam shares why initially feeling guilt is a good thing. After listening to this podcast, you will understand what to do about guilt, how to move past it, accept forgiveness, and talk to someone who is overwhelmed with guilt.
Today’s Speaker - Dr. Joe Beam

An internationally known and respected sexologist and authority on love, marriage and sex. He received his PhD from the University of Sydney. He is the founder and chair of Marriage Helper based in Tennessee, just south of Nashville.

He has designed and developed courses, workshops and seminars to help troubled marriages for over two decades. He has been seen on nationwide media and spoken to countless couples through live seminars, dedicated radio programs and books. Today he dedicates most of his time to researching and developing new ways to help couples in crisis. Old ways don’t always work in today’s human environment. You’ll agree that times have changed since your parents were married and your issues are not the same. Our approach to bringing back the passion and energy in a marriage is dynamic and effective.

Saving marriages is not an occupation for Dr. Beam. It is a mission – a mission that has consumed his heart for decades. “My original goal was to reduce divorce in this country by ten percent over a ten year period,” explains Beam. “I came to realize that we couldn’t do this by only helping marriages in trouble. We had to educate couples to change the way they live so their marriage could be all it could be.” This type of broader thinking and the methodology used to deliver the message is having a huge impact on families today. By reaching beyond the mind and into the heart and soul of men and women, love finds new ways to allow couples to communicate and create a relationship that is aware but not conducive to divorce.

Seeing the results of his mission in multiplied thousands has not only strengthened Joe’s resolve but added even more momentum to the mission. Today, the popular idea that divorce is a fact of life is being challenged vigorously. Saving marriages is not a job, it’s an all-consuming passion and every marriage saved is a testimony that the mission can be accomplished.

Website: https://marriagehelper.com
Book: Getting Past Guilt

You’ll Learn

The good purpose of guilt
What to do about guilt
How to move past guilt
How to accept forgiveness
How to talk to someone who is overwhelmed with guilt

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 024: Getting Past Guilt with Dr. Joe Beam

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Eating for Your Macros with Emily Field RD Sep 15, 2020

Show notes

If you have ever heard the term Macro Dieting and thought, "That's WAY too much math" then this episode is for you. Today, I am talking to Registered Dietitian, Emily Field who has been working in the field of macro dieting. In today's episode, we will be sharing what macros are, how to eat for your macros, and how macros affect your body.
*Be sure to download the attraction assessment by opting in to emails at itstartswithattraction.com.
Today’s Speaker - Emily Field, RD

Emily Field is not your average Dietitian.
She uses her expertise to empower her clients to embrace a macro-based, balanced eating pattern that protects their metabolism, supports lean muscle gains, and leads to stress-free, fat loss.
She eats the yolks, adds heavy cream to her coffee and tops with guacamole whenever possible. Straight talk and tough love is what you’ll get from her.
She believes that strong is beautiful. Calories are not to be feared, but neither are potatoes or poptarts. Your worth is not wrapped up in the size of your pants or the number on the scale.
Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with messages about our health. Often the messages are complicated, confusing and contradictory. If you’re ready to mute that noise and learn what really works for your body, contact Emily Field RD.
Website: https://emilyfieldrd.com

You’ll Learn

What macros are
Difference between calorie-tracking and macro-dieting
How to eat for your macros
How macros affect your body
How different diets (vegan, paleo, etc.) compare to macros

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 023: Eating for Your Macros with Emily Field RD

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Stop the Negative Self-Talk Sep 08, 2020

Show notes

How many times do you say things about yourself or to yourself (mentally or even out loud!) that are hurtful to you, degrading to you, and tearing down your own self-esteem?
This negative self-talk can come up so sneakily in ways that you don't even realize it's happening unless you are aware and conscious about it. In today's episode, you will learn all about identifying and stopping negative self-talk. I'm going to give you 5 things you can do to help you switch the way you are speaking to yourself. You can go from negative to being conscious of being more positive in the things that you say and the ways that you think about yourself.
I'm the first to say that I clearly do not have this nailed down. I am struggling through this just like you, but these are things I have been using and implementing over the past several months. While I haven't conquered my negative self-talk yet, these things have helped me identify it, stop it, and flip the script more times than not.

Today’s Speaker - Kimberly Beam Holmes

Kimberly Holmes is passionate about saving marriages and strengthening families while helping people become the best versions of themselves.

During her five-year tenure as CEO of Marriage Helper, she has led the company to quadruple financially and grow to more than 200,000 followers per month across multiple platforms. Because of their unique process, Marriage Helper has a 77 percent success rate in saving marriages.

A frequent speaker at women’s conferences and alongside Dr. Joe Beam at marriage events, Holmes holds a master’s degree in psychology from Northcentral University.

She lives in Tennessee with her husband of 9 years and her two children adopted from India.

Website: http://www.PIESUniversity.com

Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

You’ll Learn

My personal struggles with negative self-talk
5 things to do to switch the way you are speaking to yourself
How to identify and stop your negative self-talk
How to raise your self-esteem

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 022: Stop the Negative Self-Talk with Kimberly Beam Holmes

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

The 7 Universal Emotions & What Drives Them with Dr. David Matsumoto Sep 01, 2020

Show notes

Are you struggling to understand what another person might be thinking or feeling?
Did you know there are seven UNIVERSAL emotions? Hear Dr. David Matsumoto, a psychologist who has studied micro-expressions and human behaviors, explain what the seven universal emotions are and what drives them. If you are wanting to know how to combat the negative emotions in your relationships, this PIEScast is for you!
This PIEScast is not only about noticing facial expressions and having better conversations with others. We are going to take a deep dive into the driving forces behind each of the seven universal emotions. Listen to this PIEScast to hear Dr. David Matsumoto share what matters MORE than science and research.
Today’s Speaker - Dr. David Matsumoto

Dr. David Matsumoto, Director of Humintell, is a renowned expert in the field of microexpressions, facial expression, gesture, nonverbal behavior, emotion and culture. He has published over 400+ articles, manuscripts, book chapters and books on these subjects.

Since 1989 Matsumoto has been a Professor of Psychology at San Francisco State University. He is also the founder and director of SFSU’s Culture and Emotion Research Laboratory. The laboratory focuses on studies involving culture, emotion, social interaction and communication.

In 2009, Matsumoto was one of the select few to receive the prestigious Minerva Grant; a $1.9 million grant from the US Department of Defense to examine the role of emotions in ideologically-based groups.

In addition to his work at Humintell and San Francisco State University, Matsumoto is the author of numerous books and articles. He also served as the Editor-in-Chief for the Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology and is an Editor of the Culture and Diversity Section for the Social and Personality Psychology Compass. Matsumoto is also an Editorial Board Member for Personality and Social Psychology Review, Asian Journal of Social Psychology, Asian Psychologist, Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, Motivation and Emotion, Cognition and Emotion, Human Communication, Journal of Comparative Family Studies and Archives of Budo.

Matsumoto is also the founder and program director of the East Bay Judo Institute in El Cerrito, California. He holds a 7th degree black belt and well as class A Coaching and Referee Licenses. He has won countless awards, including the US Olympic Committee’s Coach of the Year Award in 2003. In addition to holding various positions within the United States Judo Federation and USA Judo, Matsumoto served as the head coach of the 1996 Atlanta Olympic Judo Team and was the Team Leader for the 2000 Sydney Olympic Judo Team.

Matsumoto first began studying psychology at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, where he received his Bachelors Degree. He obtained his Masters and Doctorate Degrees in Psychology from the University of California at Berkeley.
Website:
https://www.humintell.com

You’ll Learn

The 7 universal emotions / how to understand them
How to combat negative emotions
The importance of wisdom versus knowledge
How to build empathy

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 021: The 7 Universal Emotions & What Drives Them with Dr. David Matsumoto

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

My Struggle with Body Image, Food, and Disordered Eating Aug 25, 2020

Show notes

Do you struggle with your own body image, your relationship with food so much that you suffer from disordered eating habits? If so, you are not alone. Hear Kimberly Beam Holmes share her story and how she broke free from the prison of her eating habits. If you are constantly worried about what you are about to eat while secretly feeling guilty about what you just ate, this PIEScast is for you!

Sometimes we don’t even realize how obsessive we’ve become in our habits, perceptions, negative thoughts about ourselves. Often, these perceptions are developed in childhood or early adolescence. So how can we change the lies we tell ourselves? When does the shame stop? What does the healing process look like from a real and honest perspective? Listen to a real story and a way THROUGH the struggle with Kimberly Beam Holmes in today’s episode!

Today’s Speaker - Kimberly Beam Holmes

Kimberly Holmes is passionate about saving marriages and strengthening families while helping people become the best versions of themselves.

A frequent speaker at women’s conferences and alongside Dr. Joe Beam at marriage events, Holmes holds a master’s degree in psychology from Northcentral University.

She lives in Tennessee with her husband of 9 years and her two children adopted from India.

Website: http://www.PIESUniversity.com

Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes

You’ll Learn

To examine your true feelings about food
Understanding of where these food and body perceptions originate
What habits and mindsets need to change around food
How to balance out food and exercise
How to change negative perceptions to positive affirmations
To be encouraged in your journey for a healthier relationship with food and eating habits

It Starts With Attraction Ep. 020: My Struggle with Body Image, Food, and Disordered Eating with Kimberly Beam Holmes

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

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