The Way You Show Up

Latest Episodes:

Morning Routines And Why They Are So Important Jul 04, 2022

Show notes

Kimberly Beam Holmes walks you through her morning routine and discusses why it’s essential to plan your day in this episode of It Starts With Attraction. Failing to plan for your day allows for interruptions that control your day. When your day starts more frantic and hectic, it's harder to get it back on track throughout the rest of the day. Beginning your day with fulfilling activities specific to your needs like reading, Bible time, or working out allows you to start the day on track and energized.

Having a morning routine is one less decision you have to make during the day because you already have it set. Read about Kimberly’s entire morning routine, along with some other routines from people at Marriage Helper, and then make a list to determine what best fulfills you in the mornings.
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Marriage Helper on Instagram

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Thursday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Working On Yourself During Divorce with David Mathews Jun 27, 2022

Show notes

David Mathews, the founder of Spark of Life, joins Kimberly Beam Holmes on this week’s episode of It Stars With Attraction. At Spark of Life, David helps people who have been through divorce deal with their grief. People have a sense of regret when they feel they could have done something different to save their marriage and tend to let self-doubt creep in. The other feeling they might have is resentment if they feel the situation was their spouse’s fault.

If you go to marriagehelper.com/livingforward, you can get information about a free class where we dive into how you can start living forward after divorce. You’ll also find information there about the divorce recovery workshop that Marriage Helper is partnering with Spark of Life to offer. The first step to living forward is to start small and focus on the good things. Find one good thing that has happened in the past 24 hours that you’re thankful for, and email or text a friend to show your appreciation. This one step can begin to change your outlook and even change how your mind is wired.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

When Trust Is Broken And How To Rebuild It with Zach Brittle Jun 20, 2022

Show notes

Zach Brittle is a couples therapist from Seattle and the author of The Relationship Alphabet and The Marriage Therapy Journal. He joins Kimberly Beam Holmes to discuss his work, his training at the Gottman Institute, and how game theory works in a relationship. Gottman believes that every relationship that is struggling is struggling because of betrayal. And while affairs might be the obvious betrayal, every time you lie to your spouse or don’t do something you promised, it’s also a betrayal.

They also discuss negative sentiment override, which happens when you no longer remember the positive parts of your relationship but always see the negative in everything. So how can you work to bring those feelings back to neutral before making them positive again? Find out these answers and more in this episode of It Starts With Attraction.

Consider sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a review, and until next week, stay strong.
Episode Mentions:
https://zachbrittle.com/
The Relationship Alphabet
Marriage Therapy Journal
Marriage Therapy Radio Podcast

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Do What You Love Without Sacrificing Who You Love Jun 13, 2022

Show notes

Plenty of research talks about how a parent's interaction with their child will affect that child's future. It's called attachment theory, which boils down to the consistency and the quality of a parent's interaction with their child. The research shows there are four primary outcomes in attachment theory, but the only positive one is secure attachment. Secure attachment means that the child will believe that mom and dad will always be there when they need them.

There are seven characteristics of strong families, the most important being quantity of time, not quality. The question is, what is most important to you? Financial stability is vital for any family, but is there a way to balance your work and family life?

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

How To Live Out Your Faith On A Daily Basis with Yasmine Williams Woods Jun 06, 2022

Show notes

Yasmine Williams Woods became a mother at the age of 14. After being a single mother for years, it was a difficult adjustment to blend her life with another’s when she got married. Now a mother of four, she is on a mission to help women lead lives that prove that love conquers all. She talks about the importance of intentionally making time for God in her busy life. It’s not always feasible to start your day by spending time reading scripture but prioritize beginning your day with Him and worshiping when you can.

How can we be doing more courageous acts of love for the people we have in our lives?

How are you making it intentional to spend time with Jesus?

What does it look like to live in total submission to God's way, His will, and His purpose for your life?

Mentions:
Yasmine's website: https://yasminewilliamswoods.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yasminewilliamswoods
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yasmine_williamswoods/
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@yasmine_williamswoods

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Ways To Stay Calm When Everything Sucks May 31, 2022

Show notes

How can you stay calm when everything around you honestly just sucks?
Does it feel like all hell is breaking loose around you? In this episode, Kimberly Beam Holmes shares tips for how to stay calm during chaos.
Until next week, stay strong.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Have Better Sex With Your Spouse May 23, 2022

Show notes

Sex is one of the ways we stay attracted to each other in a marriage.
Dr. Corey Allan found in a study that the higher your level of religious dogma, the less sexually satisfied you are because of the shame and guilt associated with it. This early discovery led him to be a voice that helps couples discuss and frame conversations around sex and marriage.
He believes if you can't talk about what you want to do or about sex with the person you wish to have it with, you're not ready to have it yet.

Dr. Allan joins Kimberly Beam Holmes to discuss how you can walk beside your child, helping them create their own informed decision about sex based on your family’s morality.
They talk about the effects of porn on a relationship, the introduction of sex robots, and how social media and tech have led to a digitized life to protect oneself from rejection in this week’s episode of It Starts With Attraction.
PIES Takeaways:
Ask yourself "Would I want to have sex with me?"
Great sex is about being your full self and staying yourself throughout.
Communication is key!
Mentions:
Dr. Allan's site - https://smrnation.com/
Naked Marriage book - https://amzn.to/3G9mpVm
Subscribe to the Sexy Marriage Radio podcast: https://smrnation.com/subscribe/

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Watch Out For These Pitfalls As You Work On Your PIES May 16, 2022

Show notes

Did you know that I was once ADDICTED to Crossfit?
It's true. And I ran myself into the ground. I hurt myself physically, to the point that I still have lasting effects from that time in my life.
There are great, impactful, and life-changing ways to work on your PIES but they also have to be mindful, careful, and life-giving ways.
Today I'm offering some advice on some different ways you can work on your PIES without overdoing it or sacrificing the long-term goal of a lifetime of attractiveness for short-term gain.

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

How The Enneagram Can Help You Understand Your Spouse May 09, 2022

Show notes

This week I was joined by Christa Hardin.
Christa is the host of the Enneagram + Marriage podcast, and I am so happy to talk to her when I have the chance.
Christa gives us a brief rundown of each of the enneagram types and then we got into a discussion about how interactions play out with different groupings. It's SO fascinating to think about all the ways we interact with each other in these archetypal ways.
It's important to remember that, while they aren't the final word, we can use tools like the enneagram to have a better understanding of ourselves and our spouse.
PIES Takeaways:
It's important to understand ourselves
Every pairing has its strengths
You are who you are today because someone has lifted you up and formed you
Enneagram institute - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/rheti?gclid=CjwKCAjw9-KTBhBcEiwAr19ig-K0GFTzPnET9G83GhFt28dy2Y7r3rySj8UnKTV7llOvOJZZ1CGnRhoCzBgQAvD_BwE

Her website - https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/

Truity Test: https://www.truity.com/test/enneagram-personality-test

Katherine Fauvre Tests: https://www.katherinefauvre.com/

Free Resources: https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/general-4

🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Finding Hope Inside Of Loneliness - 100th Episode ft. Ben Higgins May 02, 2022

Show notes

Ben Higgins, of The Bachelorette and The Bachelor fame, joins us on our 100th episode of It Starts With Attraction!
Ben discusses why he joined the reality TV shows and how he was looking to shake up what he felt was a boring and uninteresting life. He talks about his battles with addiction, feeling lonely and unseen, and how difficult it is to stand for your values when questioned about why you believe them. Finally, Ben reminds us that we've all experienced pain and have a story worth sharing.

What can you do to surround yourself with a community of people who will support and encourage you to do what you should do with your life?

In what ways do you work on physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual attraction?

When you have a belief and value that is different from the world, society, and the people you're with, are you going to stand firm on it?

Mentions: